You Do What You Have To Do
 Chapter 65
 By Danielle and Tee
 (C) by us too. Standard death threats apply
 *****************

 I watched everybody talking and the tension level was back to zero again
and  to tell ya the truth, I was a little amazed. I mean when I left, they 
were all at each other's throats and now a little more than an hour later, 
they were all laughing and talking like nothing had happened.

I turned around a little to look up at Kevin, "What happened while I was
gone? When I left you were all about to kill each other."

Kevin chuckled, "Oh you mean after everyone yelled at me? Well, after I
lost  it and yelled at them all to shut up and sit down, I explained that 
where Dylan was concerned, I have no rights, I signed all those away when 
I went on the fertility clinic's payroll. I told Sam and Melinda even if I 
did have a shred of rights, that there would be no way I would take Dylan 
out of the loving home he has with the both of them.  And I can rest easy 
that if he takes after his mom and dad, coming out is going to be a breeze, 
unlike with my...."

I put my fingertip on Kevin's lips.  I knew saying the word right now
would be too painful for him.   "I know."

He opened his lips a little and tilted his head back just enough to slip
the very tip of my finger between his lips, placing a kiss on it, before his
hands came up to wrap around mine and he held it in my lap, "You are very
good for my soul, Nickolas Carter."

I smiled up at him and squeezed his hands, "Right back at ya, Bumpkin."

He smiled looked around, seeing everyone else in conversation and quickly
leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose, making me scrunch it up when the
bristles on his  chin tickled me.   "You look like a little kid when you
do that."

I scrunched up my nose again, "Well it tickles!"

He laughed softly and squeezed my hand, "Back to world war three, After
Sam and Melinda knew that I would never do anything to hurt them or Dylan, 
it was Brian's turn.  Howie was a little to shocked to speak and AJ, well 
you know him, nothing really phases him too long.   Brian asked me what my
family would think if they knew.

I reminded him that my....well, some members of my family weren't a
problem anymore. Then I told him it was my brother's suggestion in the first
place. They yelled at me some more for not telling them and then they got
over it."

He looked around again to see if anyone was watching us and then looked
down at me again, his green eyes sparkling with mischief.  "But you 
know what? It certainly blew that whole boring, stodgy, reliable old Kevin
to bits, didn't it?"

I laughed waved a finger of my free hand in front of his face like a
school teacher, "Why Mr. Richardson!  I do believe I've had a bad effect 
on you. I'll turn you into a prank pulling, bad joke telling, pretty boy 
singer yet!"

He rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow, "One in the group is enough, Mr.
Carter."

I huffed at him and raised my eyebrow right back at him, "You shouldn't
talk about your cousin like that.  Brian, would be heartbroken!"

We were both jarred out of our conversation when Dylan took a flying leap
into our laps.  He was giggling out of control and Tyke was yapping around
our feet now, leaping into the air trying to  catch Dylan's shoe laces.  I
reached out and grabbed Tyke mid air and brought the hyper dog so he was
looking right in my face, "Geez Tyke! Chill, puppy, chill!"

I felt Kevin tense up behind me and Brian clear his throat, "Nick? It's
Taco, remember? Tyke's dead."

I froze with Taco in my hands.  Oh shit.  All along I'd been calling him
Tyke to myself and Dylan.  Oh god.  How could I?

In a split second I was back that day when I heard what had happened to
Tyke on the phone with Brian crying hysterically and talking so fast he 
had to repeat it three times before I could make out what he was saying.  
Then I could see Stefanie before me, thanking me for keeping all the 
information she needed to hurt my friends, my brothers, where she could 
get to it.  I looked at Taco again in my hands, only he wasn't there 
anymore, it was Tyke with a knife stuck clean through him as he whimpered
at me like he was asking me why I killed him.  I looked up and saw Howie 
AJ looking down at me.  Howie was holding his butchered hair in his 
clenched fists and just looking at me.  Then AJ, who never took off 
his shirt anymore.  He was standing there bare chested, the red welts 
on his stomach still bubbling and oozing.

It was all my fault.  Even now I'm causing them pain, they look at me and
know it was me and my stupidity that let her hurt them all. All my fault.
All of it.

The bile rose in my throat before I could stop it and I shoved the animal
in my hands at Brian before running into the house.

I barely made it to the kitchen sink before my lunch and breakfast came
back up.  I'm sure they could hear me outside, but I couldn't quiet the 
awful noises my body was making as my stomach tried to turn itself inside
out.

Brian stood outside wincing every time he heard the harsh, almost barking,
sounds coming from the kitchen.  He had Taco in his arms and even the dog
was jumping at the sound.  He looked at Kevin, his eyes wide.  "What the
hell happened? Why did he freak out like that?"

Kevin calmed down the upset Dylan and handed him back to his moms, "He
believes it's his fault.  Tyke being killed, Howie's hair, AJ's burns, all
of it.  He blames himself for not having his address book locked up in the
safe where Stefanie couldn't get it and couldn't get to all of you."

He went inside the kitchen to find me dry heaving into the sink. I had
nothing left to offer up to the stainless steel gods.

I tried to make my body stop, but it just kept on twisting my insides into
knots.  I had a white knuckle hold on the sink rim and my knees were
shaking from the exertion my body was throwing into every heave.

A hand came onto my back and gently started rubbing up and down the column
of my spine, soothing the tense muscles.  Another hand turned on the sink
and ran a clean cloth under the running water.

A second later, the hand that was rubbing my back had moved around to rub
over my knotted stomach and I was gently brought up against a muscular
chest. The cool cloth was being drawn over my forehead then over my cheeks
and nose.

His touch seemed to calm my body's revolt and I slumped against him, all
of my energy having went in the sink with my lunch.

The cloth wiped over my mouth and was set on the counter before he turned
me around and held me close to him. I laid my head on his shoulder and at
this point, I knew he was the only thing holding me on my feet.  I felt like
everything had just been drained right out of me.

"It's not your fault."

I lifted my head to see Howie, AJ, Brian and Taco standing there.  I shook
my head, "It is."

Howie came over and made sure he was as much in my face as he could be
with my head on Kevin's shoulder, "No, it is not.  If she hadn't broken into
your house while you were risking your life to hide Kevin from her, she 
would have found another way to get to us. It would have happened with or
without you."

AJ came over too and stood beside Howie, "We don't blame you, Nick.  We
weren't the ones most hurt out of this. That was you and Kevin.  What
happened to us, yeah it was terrifying and all, but from what we've seen,
it's doesn't even hold a candle to what you two went through.  Nick, if it
wasn't for you Kevin would be dead and you risked your own life to keep
him with us.  Personally, a few little scars are a small price to pay to 
have you both with us."

Brian came over to me, standing with Howie and AJ, "As much as I loved Tyke,
he's nowhere near how much I love you and Kevin.  Can't even hold a candle
to the two of you."  And Brian being Brian, he thrust Taco right in my
face and the dog went nuts licking all over my sweaty face.  I buried my 
face in Kevin's neck to get away from the hyper dog.

"See? Taco's not taking offense either. So it's all good!"

I felt Kevin laughing a little and I nipped his neck, hearing him gasp
before he stopped laughing.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I lifted my head again, seeing Howie there
again.  "How about this? We'll call it even. The whole mess with what
happened at the hands of Stefanie to us, for the unfortunate curtain of
flames incident that we did to you.  There is a lot of guilt involved in
both of those, so how about we call it even?  Deal?"

I closed my eyes and thought about it.  I opened them again and nodded
against Kevin's shoulder, "Deal."

The next thing I knew, the three of them were surrounding Kevin and I.  I
was just enjoying being surrounded by my brothers when AJ had to be AJ.

"Alright, who has their hand on my ass?"

I shot off my mouth before I could stop it, "Or lack therefore of."

That broke the moment and we all started laughing as we broke apart.

I stood up and pulled away from Kevin, trying to stand on my own.  I think
I moved a little too fast, cause the world tilted a little and then started
spinning on me. I tried to grab the counter, but before I could hang on to
it, I was swept off my feet.

"Ok, Nick.  You are lying down for a while. You didn't sleep last night
and hardly at all this morning either."

I really didn't have the strength to argue with him, so I let him carry me
into the living room and lay me down on the couch. He covered me with the
blanket I had thrown over him and Dylan and kissed my forehead before
standing back up.

"We should get back out there.  Sam and Melinda are probably wondering
what happened to us."

AJ shook his head, "Nah. We explained what was going on and walked them
out to their car.  They said to tell you that they would call you in a few
days to arrange for a time for them to stop by.  They want to discuss 
something with the two of you." 

We both nodded and Brian rubbed Taco's head, "These two are going to give
me a ride home. Leigh's plane gets in early tomorrow, so I want you both to
get lost of rest tonight and tomorrow. Then the next day when everybody is
rested and all not jet-laggy, we'll all get together for a bar-b-que or
something to celebrate the fact that all of us and all of our others are
all in one place."

Every agreed and I gave them a little wave before Kevin saw them out.
When he came back in, I heard him moving around in the kitchen, no doubt
cleaning my mess up.  When he came back, he handed me a mug of something 
and had me sit up a little.  He slid in behind me and pulled me back up 
against him so I was sitting nestled into his chest.

I sniffed the liquid in the cup, ginger tea.  He was always trying to
shovel this stuff down my throat whenever I was sick. As much as I hated 
to admit it, the stuff usually worked.   I tried to take small sips, 
hoping my stomach wouldn't revolt. Just when I felt it tensing up,  Kevin's 
hand started rubbing over my stomach again.

That seemed to do the trick and it relaxed under his touch .  I quietly
drank the tea and set the cup down on the table when I was done.  I looked
up at Kevin and saw him reading on of my comic books.  I reached up and
traced my fingertip over the edge of his ear, making him shiver as I
yawned.

Kevin rubbing over my stomach like that and the fact that I'd had maybe an
hour of sleep in the past 36 hours was catching up with me.  Before I knew
it, my hand had dropped back to my side and I was out like a light.

When I woke up I was naked and wrapped in Kevin and silk sheets.  I lifted
my head and saw it was dark outside.  A look at the clock on the bedside
table told me it was about three in the morning and I was slept out.
We're talking WIDE awake.  I rolled over on my side and looked at Kevin 
sleeping beside me.  I smiled at the vision of him with the moonlight 
spilling all around him and felt my heart clench in my chest.  My god, he 
was beautiful.


I slowly lifted his arm from me and slid away as noiselessly as I could.
I took the pillow that had been under my head and laid it beside Kevin,
putting his arm over it. Hopefully he wouldn't notice I was gone and wake
up.

I wandered into the bathroom and did my business before throwing a pair of
pajama bottoms on and tiptoeing out of the room. I went to the kitchen and
made myself a sandwich from the leftover pot roast and a glass of milk,
after throwing everything up, I was absolutely ravenous now.  I noticed
that Sam had placed the table in the kitchen right where Kevin and I could 
sit and watch the ocean.  Damn, the girl was good.

I cleaned up my plate and glass and wandered around the downstairs looking
at everything. The feeling of home was already starting to sink in. It
still needed finishing touches, you know, pictures that meant a lot to us,
momentos that were our own, but it felt a lot better than my other house,
knowing Satan herself hadn't walked these floors.


"MA-RY HAD A LIT-TLE.....DAMN!"

"MA-RY HAD A LIT....SHIT!"

"MA-RY HAD A LIT-TLE LAMB WHOSE FLE....EEPING SHIT!"

Kevin stood at the doorway of the living room, biting the inside of his
cheek to keep from laughing. Nick was hunched over the piano, his tongue
sticking out of his lips every few seconds in concentration.  It was
taking every ounce of willpower Kevin had not to go over there and just suck
that little pink tongue into his mouth and suck on it like a newborn baby.

"MA-RY HAD A LIT-TLE LAMB WHOSE FLEECE WAS WHITE AS...AS....D'OH!"

Kevin stood straight and walked up behind Nick, standing behind the blond,
who was so intent on what he was doing that he didn't notice he was being
watched.  He leaned down and spread his arms out and slid them down
Nick's, until his hands reached over Nick's.

I jumped and then shivered as I felt Kevin's arms slide down mine.  I
looked over my shoulder and saw Kevin's eyes sparkling as he looked down at 
me, "What are you doing, Nickers?"

I sighed, "Learning how to play the piano. Badly."

He chuckled in my ear and I had to will my body not to shudder again.
When did you start learning the piano?"

I looked down at our hands on the keys. One tanned and dark, the other
light and freckly from the sun this afternoon. "I started when...when we 
weren't sure if you would be able to use your hands again.  I thought if 
I worked really hard and learned all the keys, that you could use me to 
help you write songs.  Stupid huh?  I can't even play Mary Had A Little 
Lamb."

I felt my head being moved, "Look at me."

I raised my eyes to meet his and I saw his eyes sparkling with unshed
tears. "Nickolas Carter, I think that is quite possibly the sweetest, most
completely awe inspiring thing that anyone has ever done for me."

He kissed me softly on the lips, then on the tip of my nose, "You amaze
me. Your sensitivity and the selfless way you've been with me from the day I
met you.....you just amaze me."

He held me so tenderly in his arms that suddenly my inability to play Mary
Had A Little Lamb was, to my thinking, not so bad any more.