“Hi. Good book?”
“Yeah, it’s really good.” She closed it and put it down. A few moments passed, and she hesitantly said something. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I lost it.”
“What do you mean, you’re sorry?”
“I mean, I’m normally not that emotional. I usually have control over myself. I usually don’t cry in front of people.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, Heather. It’s okay to cry, even if someone else is around. I’ve done it before.”
“I don’t usually do that. I’m not normally able to cry, even when I’m by myself. I’m not an outwardly emotional person.”
“I imagine the past few years have toughened you up,” Nick stated, sitting down beside her.
“Yeah. All I did was cry when my parents died, and then I realized there were a lot better things that I could be doing. I went back to normal, and now this happened, and I’m trying to be normal and pretend nothing happened, but it isn’t as easy as it was before.”
“You haven’t grieved, Heather. When something this terrible happens, you need to grieve before you get on with your life,” Nick advised. “Healing takes time. You don’t just automatically go back to normal.”
“Is it this hard for you?” she whispered.
“It’s pretty hard. It’s harder than I thought it would be. I guess I cared about her more than I thought I did.” Tears filled his eyes, but he blinked them back.
“There you go. You were about to cry, but you didn’t want to in front of other people,” Heather pointed out.
“You’re right. I guess I want to get on with life, too, but it’s too damned difficult sometimes.”
“Life is too damned difficult.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but for someone who looks so innocent and carefree, you’re pretty cynical, Heather,” Nick stated.
“I’m cynical?” she said angrily.
“I don’t mean it offensively. I’m sorry if it came out wrong.”
Her expression softened, and she looked at him. “I have good reason to be cynical. It’s very difficult to find good things in life when your parents and best friend were killed in car wrecks.”
“I’m sure it is difficult, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. You have to see the beauty in things.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Sure you can. For example, these flowers…” He pointed to a vase holding a bouquet of carnations.
“They’ll die in a couple days.”
“Yeah, but they’re pretty now. You can look at them now and make the most out of them. I know they’re just flowers, but you have to look at everything like that. I’m devastated that Sara’s gone, but I had so many good times with her, and that makes up for it. I lived life to the fullest with her.”
“But wouldn’t you rather have not had her in your life at all if you couldn’t be with her forever?”
“No. I’ll always miss her, but I value the time we spent together, and I wouldn’t give that up to get rid of the pain.”
“That’s where you and I differ. I’ve been through too much already, and I’d rather never experience love than have it brutally taken from me.”
“You’re starting to depress me. Can we talk about something else?”
“Okay, sorry.” She paused. “What do you mean when you say I look innocent and carefree?”
He thought for a moment. “You look very young, and you have this sparkle in your eye, a sparkle that says you may have been through tough times, but you’re making the best of it. I have a feeling that if you looked deep into your soul, you’d realize you don’t believe what you just told me. There’s an optimist in you somewhere, Heather Ashton.”
She opened her mouth to protest, but her sister walked in. “Hi. You must be Nick. I’m Beth,” she said.
“Yeah, I’m Nick.” He paused. “I am terribly sorry about what I’ve done. If there were anything, ANYTHING, I could do to take it back, I wouldn’t even think twice about it.”
“I’m sorry, too. It has to be tough to lose your girlfriend.”
“Thank you.” He looked at the clock. “I should probably go now. I have a meeting to be at in an hour.”
“Goodbye, Nick! It was nice meeting you,” Elizabeth said as he stood up and opened the door.
“Bye! Nice meeting you, too. Heather, I’ll probably be back tomorrow, if that’s okay,” he said.
“Of course it’s okay. Bye,” Heather replied.