It had come down to this after all. Just one. One lone and lonely figure, laying down the last track of a swan song that might never be heard. How prophetic it all seemed to be. He had been one of the first, and ultimately he was now the last. Funny how periods in your life tend to come full circle. Not so funny how different those periods can turn out to be from what you originally planned.

Remember when the days were long
And rolled beneath a deep blue sky
Didn't have a care in the world
With mommy and daddy standin' by

His fingers moved over the sliders on the mixing board, smiling as he remembered the early days. A young, gawky boy boarding a plane, leaving behind his family for an uncertain world. A world filled with adventure and anticipation, a dream life. The euphoria of fame had faded quickly for the young, homesick boy. The routine of bumpy flights, airsickness and homesickness left him crying himself to sleep on more nights than he cared to remember. His new family, his brothers, were there for him. His new father figure, the Svengali with the magic touch, had waved his magic production wand and made it all better. So he thought.

But "happily ever after" fails
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers dwell on small details
Since daddy had to fly

How sad that an innocent boy's trust had been trampled in the dust of deception and thievery. How frightening that he'd somehow kept his Disney-esque outlook on life only to be taken in again by other less slick, but just as deceptive higher ups.

But I know a place where we can go
That's still untouched by men
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind

In the darkness, the memories came rushing back. The accolades, the friendships forged, the molding of five young men into the parts they would play for over ten years. Young and cute, wholesome, wild, soft-spoken and sincere, new father figure. Outward appearances were carefully crafted, meticulously maintained. Until the facade began to crack.

You can lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

His smile faded, his thoughts turning once again to all that had happened in the past year. So much, so many lives affected. Their personal tragedy had been seemingly overcome, only to be followed by a national horror beyond anyone's scope of comprehension. "There will be no end until one of us dies" he'd said. How wrong he'd been, how naively optimistic.

O' beautiful, for spacious skies
But now those skies are threatening
They're beating plowshares into swords
For this tired old man that we elected king
Armchair warriors often fail
And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales
The lawyers clean up all details
Since daddy had to lie

After ten years of togetherness, ten years of unity, the unthinkable had happened. They'd grown up. And in that growing up, they'd inevitably grown apart. The boys were now men, men with their own individualistic outlooks on life; men with their own young families and futures to consider. Men who were growing weary of backing down just for the sake of public agreement. The father figure was ready to spread his wings and fly, and in the process it became time for the fledging birds to leave the nest. As with anything in nature, change was a painful process.

But I know a place where we can go
And wash away this sin
We'll sit and watch the clouds roll by
And the tall grass wave in the wind
Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair spill all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

It was easy, and so tempting, to become engrossed in the past. To watch endless hours of their lives played out on the small screen. To relive the halcyon moments of ecstasy when they were at the top of their game and oh so invincible. It had been an incredible ride, what his parents would have called and "E ticket ride" back in the day. All good things must come to an end, and ultimately their futures were settled with a phone call. A somber, impersonal conference call during which everything and nothing was said. By the time it was his turn to offer his input, voice his opinion, it had been moot. To disagree now, to go against the flow of the tide already in motion, would serve no purpose other than to prolong the pain.

Who knows how long this will last
Now we've come so far, so fast
But, somewhere back there in the dust
That same small town in each of us
I need to remember this
So baby give me just one kiss
And let me take a long last look
Before we say goodbye

In the end he'd cast his vote, in union with the others for one last time, one last gesture of togetherness. Listening to the playback of their final effort he smiled sadly. In striving for peace and unity, they'd perversely arranged to record each track separately in an effort to avoid the ever-present conflict that dogged their efforts. Mixing his voice into a perfect blend with the others, he smiled in satisfaction, nodding to the one remaining engineer in the booth that this one was a keeper. He removed his headphones and wiped a hand across his tired face. It had been a special time in his life, a time that had come to an end.

In the dark of a rainy southern night, the last one drove off into the night, off to find his future.

Just lay your head back on the ground
And let your hair fall all around me
Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence

9-23-02

BSB Fanfiction
BSB Miscellania