She is bad, but I’m worse. This is the result.

“Baby, aren’t you done yet?”

Startled, I sat up, completely forgetting that I was on the floor, underneath my computer desk. “OW! No, dammit, I can’t get these blasted cables to fit.” I lay back down, rubbing the goose egg that was rapidly rising on my forehead.

“Leave it till tomorrow. All you’re managing to do is frustrate yourself.”

I felt his hand on my thigh and sighed. “I hate it when I can’t get something right, Nick, you know that.” Next to futzing with my website or making new icons, setting up a new computer was one of those geeky things I just adored doing. But this one wasn’t cooperating. At all.

“I know, but it’s late.” And I want to go to bed. He didn’t say it, but it was there, in full implication.

“Crud.” I tried once more to get the cables connected, but they slipped off to the side, pinching my finger in the process. “Shit!” I cried, quickly sticking my finger in my mouth and sucking on the throbbing pad. Hot tears of frustration and pain sprang to my eyes, but I was determined. I WAS going to get this set up if it took me all night.

“Umm … baby?”

“What?” I snapped, sounding more aggravated than I meant to. When Nick didn’t say anything else, I felt bad and sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”

“I was only going to ask how you could see what you’re doing. There’s no light down there.”

“It’s pretty basic stuff, Nick. I can feel the ports, and they’re all different sizes, so it’s pretty brainless.”

“Maybe if I got you a flashlight you could get finished faster?” I could hear the sense of hopeful anticipation in his voice and I laughed.

“Sure, Nick. Get me a flashlight and then come on down here.”

I heard his steps retreating off toward the kitchen, and lay back on the floor, taking a momentary break.

“Got room down there for me?” His voice was closer than before, and I jumped. Out of nowhere, his face was right beneath the edge of the table and I realized that my mind must have wandered.

“Sure, come on down.” I scooted closer to the mini-tower which was atop a stack of old encyclopedias and patted the floor beside me.

“Yanno, only a goofy geek would do this kinda shit. It’s uncomfortable down here!”

“I’m a lot smaller than you are, Nick. Now stop complaining and hold the flashlight.”

He bumped me with his hip and giggled when I dropped the cable I was trying to attach. “Okay, so where do you need the light?”

“Over here, please. It’s this one … cable … that …. won’t fit.” I was still struggling, and when I stopped and took a closer look, I wanted to throw up my hands in complete surrender. “Well fuck me sideways,” I mumbled.

“Okay, but maybe we should move to the bed?”

I cut my eyes at him and found him smirking, just like I assumed he would be. Bastard. “Very funny. No, this cable is the wrong sex.”

He began to laugh hysterically, so I elbowed him in the ribs. “Ow! Damn, woman, that hurt.”

“Good. Smartass.”

“Lemme see that.” He reached for the computer cable I was holding and took a long look at the end of it. “So what exactly is the problem?”

“It’s ‘female’ and so is the port. I need a ‘male’ cable or it won’t work.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a little female-female action yanno.” Damn it if he wasn’t wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Pig. That’s disgusting.” I tried to be stern, but god he cracks me up sometimes and I couldn’t help laughing right along with him.

“So … you need a ‘male’ part, right?”

“Yes, genius.”

“Now come on, no need to get testy.” He swatted my ass, or what he could reach of it, and then continued his questions. “You already have a ‘female’ part, true?”

“Yes, Nick,” I replied as patiently as I could, “I already have a female part.”

“I’ve noticed that on several occasions,” he snickered, reaching his hand between my denim covered thighs and squeezing gently.

“Nick-” I gasped as his long fingers sought out the spots that he knew so well. “I meant on the computer.”

“I didn’t.” He was incorrigible. He didn’t even try to deny it. “But yanno what’s even better?”

I was almost afraid to ask. But I did. “What?” I squeaked as his hand pushed my thighs open a bit more.

“I happen to have just the thing for you.”

I knew where this was heading and I was helpless to stop myself from playing along. “What do you have, Nick?” Dear heaven, my jeans were unzipped and that same hand that had so recently tormented me was now working its way beneath my pants, slipping over my skin and delving into the moist heat he’d helped create.

“I have … damn, you’re wet …” he said, momentarily distracted.

“Nick-”

“Oh yeah,” he said, sliding his finger along my slippery folds, as much as the tight fabric would allow. “I have just what you need.” Putting his mouth right next to me ear her whispered, “I have a male part. Just for you.” He punctuated each word with a lick to my earlobe.

It was very tight quarters on the floor beneath the desk, but I managed to retaliate by reaching for the impressive bulge beneath the zipper of HIS jeans. He groaned as I gave him a gentle squeeze, and I chuckled. “Very nice, Nick. And you say that’s just for me?”

“Uh huh,” he managed, sinking his middle finger inside me as far as it would go. “Wanta make sure the connections fit?” He tried to laugh, but it ended on a strangled note when he realized that paybacks are hell. All the while he’d been tormenting me, I’d managed to get him completely unzipped, too. And guess what? My hand fit nicely inside his jeans, too.

“We’d need to work right here …” I whimpered as his long fingers moved relentlessly along my sensitive folds. “Not much room.” He added his thumb to the game and I shook beneath his hand as he circled the swollen nub of flesh where every good and holy thing in my life was currently centered.

“Don’t need much,” he groaned, pressing his hips against my hand as I tightened my grasp around the stiff and swollen mass I held in my hand.

In unison, it seemed, we somehow managed to rid ourselves of anything and everything below the waist and in no time at all it was time to test his theory.

“Ready?” he asked with a grin as he lay between my thighs, teasing me with the head of his cock.

The only answer I could formulate was a nod of my head and the lifting of my hips. In one swift, satisfying motion, male and female parts were gloriously joined and we both moaned at the contact. My body shuddered and I knew it was going to be fast, much too fast. I locked my ankles around his waist and reached to pull him closer, but- What? My right hand was caught in the one remaining piece of cable. I struggled to free myself, but as I did, felt my other hand being captured as well.

“God, that’s hot,” Nick murmured as he continued to hold the gray cord immobile. With his free hand he lifted my hips and plunged even deeper into my body. “Must … try that … on the headboard.” Dipping his head, he fastened his lips to the base of my throat as he thrust faster and harder against me. “Oh baby-”

We both began to shake as our orgasms rolled over us, and in the aftermath began to laugh as we lay in the cramped space on the floor.

“Computer cable handcuffs?” I laughed.

“I thought it was a good way to recycle. You couldn’t use it on the computer, so it seemed a shame to waste it …” He kissed me soundly as he unwound the cable from my wrists. “Next time-”

“Next time, we use it on you.”

10-6-03