Part 9 … Lori

‘Marry me instead’

My heart stopped beating when Nick said those words. Here we go again with the tears and this time I can’t help but let them fall. Of all the things I’ve been told in the past thirty-six hours, this one heartfelt offer had to be the sweetest and most genuine.

“Lori?”

I simply shook my head and rested it on his shoulder, unable to complete the refusal I knew I must offer. Nick’s arms wrapped around me and held me tight as I soaked the left shoulder of his t-shirt. My fingers grasped his right bicep, and as I cried I found myself stroking his arm, my fingers running up beneath his sleeve and tracing the tribal band that went three-quarters of the way around his arm. Nick sighed at my touch, and I had to speak, I had to say something. “Nick?”

“Lori, don’t. Don’t answer me yet. Just promise me you’ll think about it?”

“Nick, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever offered to do for me, but-“

“Please, Lori, please don’t say no. At least not yet.”

“Nick, you don’t love me,” I said, trying to reason with him.

“Yes I do!” he insisted.

I rose up on my elbow to look down into those damn eyes of his. His eyes were clear azure blue, so clear that they held nothing but complete honesty. Howie’s eyes were deep pools of chocolate … deep pools that … Damn it. I had to look away. “But you’re not IN love with me.”

“It’s a start,” he said obstinately.

“Nicky, I love you for what you’re trying to do for me, but you have your whole life ahead of you.”

“Lori, what’s your point?” he said impatiently, cupping my cheek in his strong hand and tangling his fingers in my hair.

My point. I knew I had a point … somewhere …. Oh. Right. “You can do so much better than ‘me’ Nick. You deserve someone who will love you back, someone who will be there for you no matter what …”

“And you wouldn’t do that Lori?”

God, he makes me crazy. He says these things to me and suddenly I can see white picket fences and puppies and a two-car garage. I can see ‘normal’ and it scares me to death.

“Wouldn’t you?” he asks again as his thumb rubs softly against my bottom lip.

“You know I would,” I whisper above the pounding of my heart.

“Then do it,” he whispers. “Say yes.”

I wanted to refuse. I wanted to pull the covers over my head and make this crazy dream go away. I wanted … Nick. I wanted Nick.

“Kiss me?” I asked and in less than a heartbeat his hand had wrapped behind my neck and his eyes, those damn clear honest to a fault eyes, darkened as he smiled gently up at me. With the softest touch I’d ever felt, he guided my lips toward his until our mouths met and rational thought was no longer an option. He tasted so sweet and I felt like I could lose myself in his kiss forever. I sighed as my mouth opened to his and felt a thrill of feminine satisfaction when Nick groaned, rolling me over until he lay fully atop me.

His broad chest flattened my breasts and it was almost a painful pleasure. That I could feel something, anything, simply affirmed that I was alive, that I was desired. It made my heart sing that I could bring pleasure to this beautiful man and that he saw me for myself and not some creature deserving of his pity. He rocked his pelvis against the cradle of my hips and my entire body was suffused with heat and longing. In between fevered kisses he moaned my name and I held him tightly in my arms, my ankles locked behind his back.

A flash of lightning and a clap of thunder rattled the windows and we both jumped apart, small cries of astonishment on our lips. Nervous laughter followed, and it seemed the ‘moment’ was ruined. Nick lay his head in the crook of my neck as we laughed. The wind howled outside, the rain lashed at the panes of glass and here we were, warm and safe, in each other’s arms.

It was perfect. Why did it have to be perfect?

“You and me and a thunderstorm. Seems like this is getting to be a habit,” he chuckled, raising his head.

I raked my fingernails through his sandy blond hair as he looked down into my eyes. “Sometimes I like the storms. The turmoil is all outside, but inside …” I stopped in mid-thought and Nick picked up right where I left off.

“Inside, it’s safe and warm. Just like you and me, Lori. Don’t you see? Your heart already knows it, even if your mind isn’t ready to accept it. I want …” Nick closed his eyes, and I ached for him. I knew what he wanted and I need to hear him ask for it. I needed to know this time that it was something he wanted as much as I did.

“Tell me, Nick,” I whispered. “Just say the words. Please?”

His eyes locked with mine and he brushed the hair from my face. “Are you sure?”

“Ask me, Nick. I need this from you, please?” My voice faded away and he smiled, wiping every fear from my heart.

“I need you, Lori. Let me love you. Please?” He brushed the slightest of kisses across my lips. “Make love with me.”

“Yes.” I sighed my assent and we came together as if our bodies were fashioned from the same clay. Our clothes lay pooled together on the floor as we discarded each piece, each scrap of fabric, and we explored each other endlessly, intimately. I learned what made Nick smile, what made him shudder in my arms and he in turn learned that a simple caress could leave me breathless.

We pleasured each other until the wonderful ache of waiting could no longer be denied and as he rose above me, his arms taut with the effort to hold himself away, he looked at me in a way I’d never seen before. He shivered as I reached between us, seeking to hasten our coupling and I thrilled at the power I held over him. Lifting my hips, I positioned him perfectly and as he slid slowly, deeply inside me, he destroyed my last defense.

“I do love you,” he said as we lay joined together, flesh against flesh, heart to heart. His hands held mine, high above my head as he thrust into my body again and again, finally pushing me beyond my limits and following me joyously into the abyss. We lay together for what seemed an eternity, joined together until nature had its way and our bodies softened with exhaustion.

We lay sleepily entwined, on the very edge of sleep when Nick asked me one more time.

“Lori? I meant what I said. Say yes. Please?”