This is for Kel... *smooch*
Rated NC-17, contains graphic, same-sex relationship
~Kevin~
The soft rocking motion has lulled us into complacency. The bright, early
summer sun has momentarily retreated behind a cloud and I can steal a glanceat him. God, he's beautiful. The time apart from our insane life has been
good; it has given us time to rest, to be lazy and soak up the sun and the
sea air.
Here we lie, inches apart and yet worlds apart. I look upon his bronzed body, searching in vain for a tan line, and my mind goes there. It goes there and beyond. He has oiled himself against the rays of the sun and he glistens, and I cannot breathe. I want to reach out to him, to touch him; to feel that slickness beneath my fingers. He smiles at something unspoken and the shape of his mouth is perfection. I crave his mouth on my body, I long to feel his lips pressed to mine. God.
My eyes close against the torture. I cannot have him, not in this life, not in this world.
~Nick~
I can feel him, you know. I feel his eyes on me, watching me. I hear his
breathing catch and wonder what he's thinking. I smile, knowing for damn
sure it's not the same thing *I'm* thinking. If he only knew how I wanted
him, how much I wanted him to just roll over and touch me. God, I start to
get hard just thinking about it. Thinking about how his hands would feel ...
his hands. Geez, he has no idea how I watch his hands. He has the most
amazing fingers, and I try my damnedest to be close by when he plays the
piano. He's so damn graceful, but strong, and I lose sleep thinking about
his fingers ... touching me, stroking me ... *sigh*
~Kevin~
Shit. He just sighed in his sleep. Just once in my life I want to be the
cause of that, to know that I have made him tremble with my touch or a word
or ... I'm grateful he's asleep, because if he saw what my swim trunks
couldn't hide, he'd think I'd lost it. Nah, he'd think I was dreaming about
some woman. He doesn't know, does he? He doesn't know that it has been years since a woman has held my interest, that I see him and I hurt with wanting him. He was a baby when we met, but now... now he's a man, and it's killing me. The barrier of age is no longer an issue and I'm afraid. I'm afraid to
try. A one-sided love is better than none, right? Better to have loved in
silence than to be shunned. I should write a song, it would probably sell
millions.
>
~Nick~
I hear him tossing restlessly, almost angrily. In my mind, I roll over, take
him in my arms and hold him till he quiets. In my mind. I do a lot of things
to Kevin in my mind, you know? I've kissed his mouth, I've touched his body,
I've tasted things I never dreamed I'd want to taste, and in my mind he is
delicious. I have feasted on my lover. Fucking poetic, isn't it? *grin* In
my rougher dreams, I've taken him. In my house, in the studio, hell, I've
fucked him right here on my boat. In my dreams. Only in my dreams. On my
more perverse nights, I wonder what he'd do if he knew? What would he do if
I reached out, touched him, held his hand and kissed him tenderly? Probably
beat the shit out of me.
~Kevin~
The sun is gone, and the air is cooling. I rise on one elbow, taking a
moment, just a moment, to study him. The cool air has chilled his heated
skin and he has goose bumps. And his nipples have hardened. God, why do I do
this to myself? Why? Because I love him. I love him and cannot for the life
of me tear myself away. He shifts on his towel, and my eyes are drawn
downward. He is semi-hard beneath the fabric of his swimsuit and my mouth
waters. I want nothing more than to peel away the material and take him in
my mouth; to feel him harden against my tongue. I ache for him. I want to
feel his hands in my hair, holding me against him as he calls out my name. I
need this. I need this like I need air to breathe.
~Nick~
Kev's awake, I heard him mumble something. Probably pissed that the sun has
disappeared. Oh well, it's almost time to pull up anchor and head for home,
anyway. Home. Great. Another night alone, just me and my thoughts and the
twisted fascination I have with listening to pirated MP3s of Kev singing
"10,000 Promises". The internet, gotta love it. It feeds my obsession.
Silently I turn to steal a look and--
~Kevin~
Shit. I knew I'd get caught, I just hadn't planned on it happening today,
miles from nowhere with no one else around as a buffer. I am frozen, like
the proverbial deer in the headlights. And then he smiles. God. I said he
was beautiful? I was wrong. He's magnificent. And there's a hunger in his
eyes that cannot be mistaken. My eyes water and he reaches for me, my name a
question on his lips. Our fingers meet and entwine and the hurt in my heart
begins to fade.
~Nick~
Out of nowhere, I see myself reflected on his face. This is crazy, you know?
I'm lying on the deck of my boat, holding hands with Kevin. HOLDING HANDS.
Shit! I keep waiting to wake up, but it's not happening. It's fucking real.
Like one of those cheesy commercials, we slowly move closer together until I
can feel his breath on my face. "Touch me," I say. "For god's sake, touch
me." And he does.
~Kevin~
Unbelievable. I pull my hand from his and use my thumb to trace over his
lips. As I touch him, he reaches out with his tongue and licks me. I am rock
hard and there is no turning back now. I lean slightly forward and touch my
mouth to his and it is all I ever imagined. He is soft and firm at the same
time. The scruff on his chin is doing amazing things to me as it rubs
against my face. His tongue touches mine and I can't breathe, I can only
reach out with my own to taste him. He is sweet, so sweet and my hand rests
on his hip, fighting the urge to roll him onto his back and smother him with
my weight.
~Nick~
"More." I groan into his mouth and wish he'd just do it already. There's no
way in hell I'm going home tonight without making love with Kevin
Richardson. He holds my hip and I can almost hear the struggle he's facing.
I need to let him know it's ok, let him know how much I need him. So I make
the next move. For the first time in my life, I touch another man.
~Kevin~
Ohdeargod ... never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd ever have
Nick's hand on my penis. He holds me gently, but firmly and I suddenly
realize it's the same way I touch myself. He strokes me slowly, up ... down
... squeeze ... release ... I need more and I instinctively push closer,
needing to feel all of him. I feel him moan against my mouth and I am blown
away. He's enjoying this as much as I am. I want him to feel as good as I
do, and so ...
~Nick~
Shit. His hand has wrapped around me and it feels fucking incredible. Here
we are, stretched out on the deck of my boat, in the middle of bum-fuck
nowhere, giving each other a hand job. No, I take that back. I've *had* hand
jobs and this is definitely not one. This is something two people
desperately want and are willing to do for each other. Shit, I'm making love
with Kevin. Wow.
~Kevin~
This is incredible, but I need more. I need to *see*. I also think I need to
make the first move. Maybe it's the *older brother* thing taking over, but I
just want him to know it's all equal; that I'm not going to demand something
I'm not willing to offer in return. And so I push my suit around my ankles
and stand, kicking them off to the side. Our eyes meet and I stand perfectly
still, letting him look as long as he likes. Finally, he holds up a hand to
me and I take it in mine, pulling him to his feet.
~Nick~
We stand eye to eye, and I think he sees that little Nicky's not so little
anymore. We're equals now, and damn, it feels good. My suit has joined his
in the corner and our bodies are almost touching; I can feel the electricity
between us. Sparks. I expect sparks to fly when we finally press together.
"Kiss me," I whisper. His eyes have darkened and his breathing is ragged. Weboth move at the same time and our mouths meet, and our bodies touch and he holds me and I hold him and I never want to go home. I want to stay like this forever, but I know it's only going to get better so I grind my hips
against his and our cocks touch and jesus ...
~Kevin~
We move together, rubbing against each other slowly as our tongues touch,
filling each other's mouth. My hands hold his ass, pulling him closer than I
ever thought I'd be and I can feel myself beginning to slip away. I moan his
name and he jerks against me in response. He knows I'm almost gone ... and
he reaches between us and takes me in his hand once again.
~Nick~
God, this is so awesome. It's such a power rush to have this kind of
control, but at the same time it makes me feel so small. *grin* Pretty
profound for a blonde, huh? I kiss him with everything I have and hold him
in my hand. He's so gone, I hardly have to do *anything* but stand there. He
rocks his hips against my hand and moans my name and quite a few other words I've never heard him say in polite company. And it fucking turns me on even more. I rub my thumb over the head of his cock that's already dripping, and squeeze him one last time. Man, he's beautiful. He howls my name, tossinghis head back, and comes in my hand. Damn, it seems to last forever before he finally sighs and sags against me.
~Kevin~
God above ... if I die right now I'll die happy. Never in my wildest dreams
did I ever think this would happen or be this good. I know we're not done,
Nick's eyes still have that haunted look and I know he needs relief. I take
his head in my hands and look deep into his eyes. I have no words that can
express what I'm feeling, so I simply close my eyes and lean my forehead to
his. My breathing slows, but I know there's more to be done. "Lie down," I
say softly, and he complies. I roll my towel and tuck it beneath his head as
he stretches out before me, his body glistening in the setting sun. I kiss
him briefly and then indulge myself.
~Nick~
Christ, his mouth is everywhere. I thought his kiss was deadly, but his lips
are on my neck, sucking at the pulse point; his tongue is tracing the rim of
my ear before dipping inside and laughing softly. "Kev-" I make a strangled
sound and he laughs again. Then his hands are on my chest, and his lips
follow sucking briefly at my nipples and my cock twitches in anticipation. I
know he felt it, the damn thing has a mind of its own tonight. My mind has
wandered and Kev has settled himself between my thighs. Oh good god, please.
Just do it. I feel his chin settle against the tip as he runs his tongue
around my belly button, nipping at the soft skin and I hold his head in my
hands, my fingers wrapped in the soft dark locks. "Please." I am not beyond
begging. And then he's there.
~Kevin~
I knew it. I knew he would taste incredible and I was right. Normally I love
to be right, but this time I was just so damn relieved. I have to admit, I'm
a little afraid of this. I want it so much and I know *Nick* wants it, but
what if I'm no good? What if I gag? What if-- But no, it's not gonna
happen. I have Nick in my mouth and it's beyond belief. I take him all in,
my tongue running circles around the head and tasting the drops that bubble
forth. His hands are holding me steady, urging me on, encouraging me to go
even further and take him even deeper. I feel him stiffen, and I know it's
almost time. With one hand I hold him steady, pumping as I suck, and the
other hand goes between his legs to fondle him gently. I keep a steady pace,
and in seconds I feel his balls tighten and I know he's there. His hands
hold my head even tighter and he screams my name, filling my throat to
overflowing. I rest my head on his abdomen, waiting for his breathing to
quiet. All the while he strokes my head, a more loving touch I've never
felt.
~Nick~
We must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know the moon is high
in the sky and a light rain is falling. I also know that we won't be heading
in for home tonight.
~Kevin~
In the words of the poet, there are "miles to go before we sleep."
6-19-01