Kayla-Jesse? Is there something wrong with you?
Jesse-Something wrong with me? Something's wrong with you!
Kayla-Excuseeeee me?
David-Are you feeling okay Jesse?
Jesse-What does HE have that I don't? His hair isn't too nice…he's puny…no style whatsoever!
Kayla-Huh?
Jesse-Don't huh me! You know what I'm talking about.
Kayla-I really don't.
Jesse-I love you babycakes…and I don't know why you would pick this little gerbil over me!
David-Did you just call me a gerbil?
Jesse-Yea I did…what are you gonna do about it?
David-Well, you look like a…monkey…no a gorilla…actually an orangutan…
Jesse-A what? Well whatever…Kayla, you have to choose now! Do you want little, puny, gross, smelly no style gerbil Ballinger boy…or ehm, a hot, seductive, sexy, great style, smells great, non monkey, irresistible, Jesse A. McCartney…grrr…..god I do sound great, don't I?
Kayla-Well you did call me a hag…and a bitch…
Jesse-I didn't mean it…I was caught in the moment…
Kayla-You DO realize there isn't really anything big going on between me and David right?
Jesse-Huh? Well either way, we have things to talk about so I don't want him in the same room as us…Too much sexual tension. He says raising his eyebrows.
Kayla-Well that's not fair kicking little Ballinger…I mean David out of his room.
Jesse glares at David…
David-Hey I'm leaving…I'll go happily to Kristen's room…He says raising his eyebrows and beginning to pack his stuff.
Kayla-You better behave. It is Kristen's room…AND Chris's…
David-I know I know…but there could be some sexual tension!
Back in Kelli, Diana and Holly's room…
Kelli-I'm gonna kill him…murder him! She starts to imitate Matt… "I'm single and ready to mingle…" "As you can see…some of the fans get a little too into me.." AND WHAT THE HELL WAS HE TALKING ABOUT WHEN HE SAID, "Oh you know you want me Kristen." IS THERE SOMETHING GOING ON THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?!?!??!
Diana-Kelli…calm down. I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding.
Kelli-I'm sick of all of these misunderstandings! I'm going to Matt's room right now and I'm gonna set him straight.
Kelli walks down the hall and pounds on the door.
From inside the room…
Frankie-I think it's for you Matt.
Matt-Why do you say that?
Frankie-Because your girlfriend is the most…uh vicious.
Matt-I don't think it's Kelli…She's been working on her anger management problems…She's getting better.
Kelli-OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW MATT! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! WE HAVE ISSUES TO DISCUSS!
Matt-Uh-oh. I'm coming Kelli dearest.
He slowly opens the door, and Kelli begins to yell as she walks into the room…
Kelli-SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE?
Matt-I have to say that in front of the fans that want me so much.
Kelli-CALLING ME A FAN THAT'S TOO INTO YOU????
Matt-Jusssttt kidding…hehe…He says with a big smile.
Kelli-WANTING KRISTEN? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?
Matt-I just think there is some sexual tension between me and Kristen.
Kelli-Sexual tension?!?!??!?
Matt-Well I'm a young boy with raging hormones…and sometimes us boys fantasize about other girls and…
Kelli-UHHHH NO! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT!
Greg-Well I do know what Matt's talking about…
Frankie-Yea he does have a point there. Can't fight the sexual tension.
Kelli points at them both-YOU TWO SHUT UP!
Kelli-You know what? I'll be in my room. YOU come talk to ME when you're ready to stop acting like a baby…She says sticking her tongue out…And when you can have a civilized conversation without yelling!
Matt-Um Kelli, you were the one screaming.
Kelli-Shut up! She says leaving and slamming the door.
5 minutes later…
Matt-I think she wants me…but then again who doesn't?
Greg-I don't want you.
Frankie-Neither do I.
Back in Kristen and Chris's room…
Chris-Now we're alllll alone. Chris says raising his eyebrows.
Kristen-Hehe…
Just then David barges in…
David-Helloooooo roomies!
Chris-WHAT????
David-Jesse gave me the key…Him and Kayla are discussing their issues …therefore I have no place to go…and I'm not wanted in my brother's room…and I'm not wanted with my brother's girlfriend…but I have you guys…who I KNOW don't mind me being here.
Kristen-Of course we don't mind you being here.
Chris-I do! I sent Jesse back so we would have some privacy….and then they send us back little Ballinger…
David-Where should I put my stuff? Whose bed is whose?
Kristen-That's Chris's bed…and that's mine…
Just then David throws his bags on Kristen's bed…
Chris-What the hell do you think you're doing?
David-Getting ready for bed…it's quite late.
Chris-There's a couch over there…
David-Ooh perfect! Chris you don't mind sleeping on the couch so Kristen and I can be alone together do you?
Chris-THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! OUT!
Chris pushes David out the door…
David-But-
The door slams…
David-I forgot my pillow…
Chris throws the pillow out the door and hits David in the face…
David-And my-
Chris throws his blanket out and shuts the door.
Kristen-That wasn't very nice. Let him back in.
Chris-No, he'll find somewhere else to say. He says putting the dead bolt lock on the door and then walks over to lock up the window.
David walks over to Kelli, Diana and Holly's room ready to knock on the door, when he sees a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign hanging from the knob.
He then walks to Matt, Frankie and Greg's room…
David knocks on the door… "Guys?"
Matt-Go away.
David-But I have no where to stay.
Matt-You're gay.
David-Stop rhyming and let me in.
Matt-How about no!
David-But I have no place to go…I give up…He says walking away. He lays his pillow on the ground in the hallway and falls asleep while everyone else does too.
A few hours later, at around 4am, Kristen had woken up due to Chris's snoring. She stuffed a pillow over his head and walked out into the hallway down to the vending machine to get a bottle of water. She noticed David sleeping in the middle of the hallway.
Kristen-(Whispering) David, David wake up.
David-Huh? Where am I?
Kristen-In the hallway…
David-Oh yeah…the colddd saddd hallway, because ::sniff:: no one wanted to take me in.
Kristen-Shhh. Come with me.
David-Gladly.
They walk back to the room…
Kristen-(Whispering) Go and sleep on the couch.
David-Okay.
3 hours later, Kristen wakes up due to Chris's snoring…once again. She rolls over to find David sleeping next to her.
Kristen screams-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Chris begins to wake up-Huh, what? What happened? As he looks over, Kristen quickly pushes David off the bed and he lands with a thump on the floor.
David-Owww.
Chris-What happened? What's wrong?
Kristen-Um nothing. Go back to sleep…I had a scary dream.
Chris-Oh okay. He says falling back asleep instantly. He begins snoring once again.
Kristen rolls her eyes and begins to yell in a whisper-DAVID! You ass! What is wrong with you?
David-I was lonely.
Kristen-You could have gotten us all in a lot of trouble.
David-I'm sorry. Can I come back up there now?
Kristen-NO! Get on the couch! She shouts.
Chris-Huh?
Kristen-Um I said…Kangaroos have a pouch.
Chris-Oh okay. He says falling back asleep.
David-Why can't I just stay with you?
Kristen-Too much sexual tension.
David-Are you saying you're attracted to me?
Kristen-Get on the couch.
David-I'll take that as a yes, and I'm going. He says winking.
Kristen-You better stay there.
David-I can't make any promises.
Kristen-GOOD NIGHT!
Chris-Good night. He says sleeping.
The next morning…amazingly everyone had made it through the night without any more fights. Even though there wasn't a lot of talking, everyone managed to meet in the lobby to discuss plans with the parents.
Mrs. Raposo-Okay, well as you all already know, we were suppose to be leaving tomorrow, but because of an upcoming blizzard, we're leaving tonight. So enjoy your last day here and have all of your things packed and ready to go by 6pm and meet in the lobby.
Everyone agreed…and once the parents left, they began to think about how they were going to spend their day.
Matt-We could go skiing. I've gotten better.
Kelli-That's a stupid idea!
David-Ice-skating?
Chris-NO!
Holly-Let's go exploring…we didn't do that yet.
Kelli-Exploring? What is this…Dora the explorer?
Jesse-I happen to like that show.
Kayla-It's stupid.
Frankie-I say we go exploring too. C'mon guys…it's our last day. Let's not waste it.
Everyone gathered together *some* stuff and met in the lobby.
Frankie-Damn.
Diana-What?
Frankie-What are we suppose to do about Jesse? His crutches? He can't crutch through the snow!
Greg-Dude, we can use the snowmobile. Stick him on the back and I'll drive.
Jesse-Who's gonna hold my crutches?
Matt-David can.
David-I will do no such thing.
Matt-Do you wanna come?
David-I'll hold the crutches.
The 11 kids began their adventure. Greg and Jesse on the snowmobile, and the others walking through the snow, as David held the crutches.
After a half hour of walking, everyone was getting tired.
Diana-Do you guys know where we're going?
Matt-Don't worry! I've been leaving a trail of mini marshmallows while we've been walking so we can find our way back.
Kelli-MARSHMALLOWS!?!? You idiot! We're not gonna be able to see WHITE marshmallows in the snow!
Matt-Hey! Don't yell at me here! At least I'm trying. Greg and Frankie are the ones who were boyscouts.
Greg-Can we keep that on the DL?
Frankie-Well I do have a compass. So we're not totally lost.
Jesse-That's what that thing is? I thought it was a watch. A really big watch…with no strap thingy.
Frankie-Um no. This points us in the right direction.
Matt-But we're exploring…There is no right direction.
Kristen-Ooh what's that?!?!? She says pointing to a small cabin deep in the woods.
Chris-Looks like an abandoned cabin.
Diana-Can we go explore it?
Greg-Let's go!
They get by the cabin…
Matt-I wanna go inside. I know…I'll break a window, climb through it, sneak over to the door, pick the lock, and let everyone in. He takes a rock and throws it, smashing the windows…As he tries to squeeze through the window, trying to avoid the sharp glass…Chris says…
Chris-That's a good idea Matt…but we could always open the door. It's unlocked.
Chris opens the door as they go in…
Matt-Ahhh help me! Sharp glass!
Greg and Frankie walk over to the window, and pull Matt through...
Matt-Gentle gentle!
When Matt is pulled out from the window, he walks over to Kelli.
Matt-Ow Kel...that glass injured me. I could really use a kiss to make it all better.
Kelli-THEN GO ASK KRISTEN!
Matt-Okay fine then...be that way. Ohh Kristen...
Kristen-What?
Matt-I got a boo-boo and I need someone to kiss it allll better. Can you kiss it?
Kristen-Um Chris is sorta right there.
Matt-Oh...He says looking down sadly.
Kristen-(Whispers in his ear) But I would if I could.
Matt-(Looks up smirking and whispers back) Hmm then maybe I'll have to hurt myself some other time then...He says raising his eyebrows.
Chris-Kristen, can you come over here for a sec?
Kristen-Sure...coming.
Diana-I'm really tired. Maybe we could sit down and chill here for a little bit.
Greg-It's pretty tite here.
Jesse-Tight? It's actually rather large and roomy.
Greg-You know you completely cramp my style.
Chris-(From across the room) I'm totally feelin ya bro.
Matt-That's impossible. How are you "feelin him" if he's across the room?
Greg-Never mind...you two little Westchester boys wouldn't understand.
Jesse-And what's that suppose to mean?
Greg-Nothing...Matt, shut the door it's cold.
Matt-Why do I have to do everything? Just because I'm the runt of the group, doesn't mean you can push me around. I AM the second oldest.
Greg-(Rolls up his sleeves revealing his muscles) Do you wanna try saying that again?
Matt-(Rolls up his sleeves revealing his thin, muscle less, white arms) *Sorry Matty B...We Love Ya!* "I'm not afraid of your muscles!"
Greg-Oh really.
Matt-Really...He says taking a step towards Greg.
Matt-(Pushes Greg) Whatcha gonna do...punk?
Greg-Ooh scary Matt...He says pushing him back.
Chris-Yo Matt just lay off.
Jesse-Why should Matt? Greg started it.
Chris-Matt thinks he's hot shit...Well he isn't.
Matt-Are you saying I'm NOT hot shit? Why would I even want to be shit?
Jesse-Greg's always pushing us all around. He thinks he's the leader and he's not.
Greg-Well someone's gotta be the leader.
Matt-Well who appointed you leader?
Frankie-Guys guys guys...Can we please stop fighting?
Matt, Jesse, Greg and Chris-STAY OUT OF THIS FRANKIE!
Frankie-Sheesh. Just trying to help...I mean LOOK AT YOU ALL...YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER WHO SHOULD SHUT THE DOOR...I'll just do it! Frankie shuts the door.
Chris-The door isn't the point...
Jesse-Well what is the point then?
Greg-Just forget it...Where are the girls?
Holly-We're over here checking this cabin out.
Frankie-Well I guess we can stay here for awhile and go back to the lodge before it gets dark.
Half an hour later, they were all sleeping.
About 3 hours later, they woke up one by one.
Kelli-Oh shit guys...We gotta get back to the lodge...She looks at her watch…It's 7 already! We're late.
Everyone agrees and Greg goes to open the door and it won't budge.
Greg-Dude, what's wrong with the door?
Chris looks out the window and it's alllllll white.
Chris-Dude, why is the window all white? Is there like a shade down or something?
Kayla-Um you guys...I think it's snowing...REALLY hard.
Kristen-WHAT?!?! You mean...snow all around us? Like we're stuck here?!?! Forever? OMG. My kitty's in the hotel!
Kayla-Is your kitty all you can think about in a time like this?
Kristen-Well no. All my makeup is still in the hotel room. BUT not too worry...I took the good stuff with me.
Matt-What are we gonna do? We're stuck...trapped...burried alive...sort of...
Greg-Chill! I have a cell phone. He takes his cell phone out of his pocket... "Which has no service."
Jesse-Greatttttttt. This is just great.
Greg-MY MOM is gonna go ballistic. But don't worry...cause with all of our parents, we'll have the whole mountain looking for us.
Matt-Yes, but how are they gonna know where we are? WE don't even know where we are.
Holly-Well on the bright side, the snow has to melt eventually right?
Frankie-Well kids...It looks like we're staying the night.
They all sit down...
Frankie-Now...between the 11 of us, we should have enough stuff to get us through the night. I mean we're all sensible teenagers...And I'm sure we all brought sensible stuff right? I mean, who wouldn't bring sensible stuff for a day trip.
Everyone looks around at eachother.
They go around in a circle showing what they have...
Frankie-I'll start...I have 4 bottles of water...4 bagels...butter...and crackers. AND I have a jacket. Next?
Greg-I brought…absolutely nothing.
Kristen-Don't worry everyone. I have everything we're gonna need. I have eyeliner, lotion, flavored chapstick, mascara, a hair brush, hair thingies, nail polish and powder!
Kayla-Oh wow. That's gonna help us a whole lot.
Kristen-If we're going to die in here, we might as well die looking good!
Kayla-Anyway, I have headphones, and some cd's.
Kristen-(Imitating Kayla) Oh wow. That's gonna help us a whole lot.
Diana-Guys stop fighting. I have a blanket with me…and some water.
Matt-I have gel and that's it.
Chris-Dude your bag is full. You have more than that.
Matt-No I don't.
Greg-Dude, give us your bag.
Matt-No it's mine. Go away.
Greg grabs the bag from Matt and opens it up.
Greg-Woahhhh Matt…Where'd you get these?
Kelli-What is it?
Greg shuts the bag… "Gel."
Kelli-Is not…come on let me see.
Kelli grabs the bag and rips it open revealing dirty magazines.
Kelli-Ew you pig! Gross!
Matt-Well as I was telling you I am a little boy with different urges.
Kelli-I do NOT want to hear it.
Chris-Jesse what do you have?
Jesse-I have…uh nothing sorry.
Chris-All I have is my hair stuff.
Holly-I have crackers!
Everyone looks at David…
David-Don't look at me. I was holding Jesse's crutches the whole time.
Chris-So now what? We're gonna be stuck here for Valentine's Day.
Greg-Yea I guess so.
Diana-Ugh this suckssss. So what are we gonna do?
Matt-I have an idea for a fun game!
Kelli-No one wants to hear it.
Matt-No no no no…actually all 6 guys including David made this up.
Chris-Dude shut up!
Matt-Wa La! He says taking out two big red dice with "selected" words on them.
Kristen-WHAT are those?
Frankie-MATT! You brought them?
Greg-I thought it was just for a joke…but hey I'll play.
Kayla-Wait, what exactly are we playing?
Matt-Observe….I call the game, "Sexual Tension." Well one day the six of us were shopping, and came across these dice in Spencer's…It's quite simple actually. One dice has body parts on it, such as ear, foot, lips…and the other dice has things to do on it, such as kiss, blow, nothing big. So what you do, is each player rolls and whatever it comes up, you do. And to pick which person you do it to, you spin a bottle. Simple right?
Holly-Eh I don't know…spin the bottle wasn't so good last time we played it.
Kayla-I'm bored…I'm totally in.
Kristen-It sounds harmless enough. I'll play.
After everyone finally agrees, they sit down to play.
Kayla volunteered to go first…She spun the bottle and got Jesse (No joke, we actually spun a bottle around pictures and bought the dice…hehe) Next, Kayla rolled the dice and got kiss below the waist.
Everyone-Ooooooh…
Greg-Go Jestaaaa!
Kayla-I think we should go in the other room Jesse.
Jesse-Let's go.
5 minutes later, they came back and Jesse had a big smile on his face.
Jesse-My turn.
Jesse spun and got Holly. He rolled and got kiss above waist.
Jesse-Just to play it safe, I'll kiss you on the cheek.
Holly-Fine by me.
They kiss and it's now Holly's turn. She spins and gets Matt. She rolls and gets kiss below waist.
Matt-Maybe we should go in the other room.
Greg-No no no…I'm disqualifying that rule right now.
Holly-Fine then. I'll kiss his knee.
Matt-Oh total jip. She kisses his knee and it's Matt's turn to spin.
Matt gets Kelli.
Matt-(Rubs his hands together) Oh baby let me get something good.
He rolls and gets a ? and the word boobs.
Matt-Hell yea!
Kelli-What does the ? mark mean?
Matt-I can do whatever I want!
Greg-Okay this is gonna be too nasty to watch. Go in the other room.
10 minutes later they come back and Kelli spins and gets Matt.
Matt-More action for me!
She rolls and gets lick above waist. She walks over to Matt and licks his neck.
Chris-Dude how come HE's getting all the action.
Kelli spins and gets Greg. She rolls and gets massage below waist.
Kelli-I'll massage his…..ah I won't tell. C'mon Greg…the other room awaits. They leave, come back and Greg spins. He gets Diana. He rolls and it lands on lick lips.
Frankie-I don't want to see this. I'M going in the other room.
5 minutes later Frankie returns, in time for Diana to spin. She gets Matt. She rolls and it lands on massage above waist.
Matt-Ooh now that I think of it, I have knots in my neck. Too many days away from my personal masseuse.
Diana massages his neck and Matt gets ready to spin, yet again.
He gets Kayla. Matt rolls and gets ? and toes.
Jesse lets out a big sigh of relief.
Matt-Toes? Hmm…would a foot massage count?
Jesse-That's fine. In fact, keep her shoe on.
Kayla-Uh uh…my feet are sore. Come here masseuse Matty.
While Matt is massaging Kayla's feet, she spins.
It lands on Frankie and she gets blows lips.
Kayla-Well that doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Greg-Ah just kiss him on the lips.
Jesse-Make it snappy. NO tongue action.
Kayla and Frankie kiss and NOW Frankie spins. It lands on Kristen. He gets lick above waist.
Chris-Dudeeeee….nah uh!
Kristen-Chris…it's a harmless game. Don't worry.
Frankie-What shall I lick Kristen?
Kristen-Maybe we should just go to the other room.
Diana-But-
Kristen-Di, don't worry…he's your boyfriend and I'm not like that.
They come back 5 minutes later.
Kristen-My turn baby!!!!
She spins and gets David.
David jumps up in the air-HELL YEA! IT'S ABOUT TIME!
Chris-Ohhhhh no. Not little hormone crazed Ballinger boy. I'm saying now before you roll, you're NOT going in the other room.
Kristen-Okie dokie Chris.
She rolls the dice and gets kiss lips.
David-Lay it on me suga!!!
Kristen kisses him on the lips and it's Dave's turn.
He spins and gets Kayla.
Jesse-Greattttttttttt..that's just swell.
He rolls and gets lick above waist.
Jesse-WHAT?
David-I know! I'll lick…her tongue.
Greg-Nasty dudes!
They French kiss and Jesse decides that the game is over.
David-Well if there wasn't any sexual tension before, there sure is now!
Chris-Wait, wait, wait! I didn't get any action!!!!!!!! NOTHING! Not a lick, not a peck, not a nibble, NOTHING.
Frankie-Aw sucks to be you.
Kristen-Chris hunnie...come on over here and I'll give you some action.
A few hours later, everyone's just kind of sitting around.
Kristen-Oh look you guys…it's exactly 12:01…Happy Valentine's Day…she says sadly.
Everyone says Happy Valentine's day sadly.
Frankie-Guys come over here for a second.
They walk over to Frankie.
Frankie-I don't know about you guys, but I feel really bad that we're all here on our first Valentine's day with the girls.
Greg-We don't even have any presents for them.
Matt-I have a brilliant idea….We could sing to them! They haven't heard "With All My Heart."
Chris-Dudeeee…that's a good idea!
Kayla-This sucks…majorley.
Kristen-Yea I see what you mean, but it's all kinda romantic in another way. Here we are…at night in a cabin where snow is falling outside and we're here with our wonderful boyfriends and we're all together!
Kelli-Kristen…shut up. It's a shitty old cabin, we can't even see what it looks like outside cause we're snowed in…and our boyfriends are over there, plotting something.
Kristen-Hey, I'm trying to make the best of this, so bear with me.
The guys walk back over to the girls….
Out of no where, the 5 guys start to snap their fingers…
Kelli-HAHA…what are you guys doing?
Matt-Um Kel, we're trying to sing to you girls, so if you could just be quiet, that'd be great.
Chris begins to sing the song "With All My Heart."
The guys follow and they all sing the chorus.
The girls are just sitting there speechless.
Diana-Wow.
Kelli-Not badddd.
Kristen-Oh my god…that song brought tears to my eyes…oh my goodness…that song should be on the radio. It's awesome. Wow I can't get over how good that song was. Wait! How long have you had it? Why didn't you sing it sooner? Oh my god! It's still an awesome song though…but whoa..and
Kayla-KRISTEN…Shut up!
Chris-Since we didn't have any presents to give you, we decided to sing this song to you girls, because it's well…
Matt-It's how we truly feel.
Kristen-Awwwwwwwwww…We love you guys.
Kelli-WHAT? No presents? Where are my flowers?
Kayla-And my chocolate?
Holly-And the big stuffed bear?
Diana-And my diamond ring?
Kristen-Aw…don't listen to them. They're just kidding around.
Kelli-No I'm not!
Kayla-Me either!
Holly-I want the bear!
Diana puts up her hand-This hand is just calling for diamonds.
Kristen-Well I love you guys anyway…hug time!
Kristen hugs the guys…including David.
David-What was that for? I didn't sing.
Kristen-I still love ya!!
Matt-Kel, when we get back, I'll get you your flowers.
Kelli-I'd hope so!
Jesse-And I'll get you your chocolate.
Greg-And the bear.
Frankie-And a fake diamond ring from the 50 cent machine.
Diana-Good enough.
Chris-Happy Valentine's Day ya'll.
Everyone hugs, kisses and exchanges Happy Valentine's Day. All of a sudden, outside they hear sirens and over a loud speaker they hear a familiar voice….
Voice-GREGORY! ARE YOU IN THERE? KIDS!!!! ARE YOU SAFE?
Greg-Is that my…ohh no.
Greg walks over and pushes open a window. Snow falls in, and he pushes some of the snow at the top of the window away. He clears a little hole at the top, to reveal his mother looking in at him.
Greg-Uh hi mom?
