"Yo dudes! I gots me a serious girlfriend!" Joey yells.

Chris looked up from painting his nails.
JC looked up from his newest issue of "Cosmo".
Justin stopped doing taichi and looked at Joe.
And Lance continued to watch "Scream 3", even though his mama told him not to watch that "pornographic and slutty Neve Cambell's soup."

"Lance! I said I got a girlfriend! YOU LOOK UP WHEN I TALK TO YOU, BOY!" Joey uttered, kicking him in the shin.
Lance cried and ran to JC's safe armpit.
Justin shook his head. "Ok, Phat One what's dis 'bout a 'new girlfriend'?"

"She's right outside! She's great! I'll get her!" Joey squealed.

Then he ran out to get the mystery chick.

Chris laughed. "Do you remember Joey ever being excited about a girl?"
"No, but I would be", JC said, comforting Lance to his bosom.

All of a sudden, the mystery chick came in the house.
All of them gasped in horror.

She was an average height, her blonde braids adorned with fuzzy pink things that looked like Koosh balls. She was looking very good in a black and white Catholic school uniform, of course, that kind of uniform wouldn't of normally been worn all tied up at the navel, showing her black bra...

Justin screamed. "It's YOU!"
She grinned. "It's me Justin!"
"Who is she? Mandy Moore?" Chris asked.

"No, you stupid gorilla! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!" Justin growled.
Brit smiled. "That's right! The one and only! After I got my boob job...uh, I mean.. after I MATURED and grew 2 cup sizes, the weight was killing my back! Then, I went through another operation. People said I got my stomach stapled but that wasn't it. In reality, I had a second spine put in, to hold the weight! And now I'm dating your best friend! HA!"

Chris looked confused. "Sooo.. she ISN'T Mandy Moore?"
"SHUT UP CHRIS!" Justin screamed again. Then he turned to Britney. "Why Britney? Why?"

Just then, Joey came in. "Hey guys! I see you've met my new girlfriend!"

Justin's forehead began to throb. "Don't you SEE who you are dating Joey?!"
Joey scoffed. "Of course! This is Jessica Simpson!"

JC pushed Lance out of his armpit for a minute. "Joseph, that is not Jessica Simpson. That is Britney Spears, the more popular blonde singer."
Lance whimpered and sucked his thumb.
Joey's face turned shocked. "I'm DATING Britney 'Ho-ass' Spears?"
JC nodded. "Yes, my son."

"Oh God! I probably have about a million MORE venereal diseases than before I got wit' you Britney!" Joey cried, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
She laughed wickedly. "Yes, you probably do because I'm NOT really Britney Spears."

Then, she grabbed the bottom of her neck and ripped a mask off!
The others were stunned when they saw who Joey REALLY had been dating.

"RICKY MARTIN?!" They all yelled, completely feeling sorry for Joey.

"Yes, it is me" Ricky said, doing that little swivel-hip thang he was known for. "I wanted to have one night with Mr. Fatone, just one! So, I dressed up like Britney Spears, knowing Joey would think it was Jessica Simpson. Then, I thought, after the one night, I would go.
"But Joey," he said, turning to him, "these 12 hours have been the BEST 12 hours of my life! Please Joey, give me a chance!"
Joey gagged. Then, he ran to the bathroom and barfed like there was no tomorrow.
Chris stood up. "Um, Ricky? Want to get a frappacino?"
"No, my friend. I don't like crazy guys. I only like the husky ones."
Then, Ricky Martin walked out, his body all akimbo.

Lance shook his head. "Well, that was fucked up."
JC's eyes went wide. "Lansten! You cursed!"

Lance looked down and rushed to his room to do 100 Hail Marys.
Then, Joey took at shower, washed himself in bleach, and drowned in his own sorrow, while eating Cookie Dough.
-THE END-

EPILOUGE Justin - called Britney Spears to ask her out; she promptly hung up.
JC - took a quiz in "Cosmo"-it said he was a "caring and peaceful female".
Chris - started stalking Ricky Martin.
Joey - found a new girlfriend by the name of Christina Auguilera.
Lance - did the Hail Marys, and ate some French toast.