Give Me your Heart (Meant to Be)
Written By: Vanessa and Veronica

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Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7- Pt. 1 /\ Pt. 2
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30

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Prologue

        On the morning of February 9, 1983, a baby was born. One who's life wasn't meant to be like any other. A life full of dreams, a life full obstacles to overcome before those dreams came true. We start off on the first day of this life.

        The young woman was worried when she hadn't heard the baby cry. Something was wrong, she could sense it. Her heart beat faster. More sweat secreted from her skin. "My baby, I want my baby." She screamed in a panic when she saw a nurse take her baby out of the delivery room.

        "Calm down. We still need the afterbirth before you can rest. Now push." The doctor ordered. After she had "given birth" to the placenta dizziness took over and everything went blank.

        Consciousness came back slowly. She could hear the faint sound of shuffling footsteps in the room. She opened her eyes and saw the blurry figure of a nurse holding her baby.

        "It's a girl." The nurse said as she handed the baby to her mother.

        She smiled at her daughter. "I knew it...My baby girl."

        The nurse left mother and daughter alone. But they weren't alone for long. The door slowly creaked opened and he entered the room.

        "What was wrong with her. They just took her away." She referred to earlier.

        "The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck...she couldn't breathe..." He stopped.

        "But she's fine now, right?" She asked after a moment of silence. He nodded but she didn't notice.

        "Have you chosen a name yet?"

        "Vanessa."

        "Vanessa." He smiled down at his daughter. "Vanessa Logan...that sounds perfect."

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Chapter  1

~Her First Few Years~

        Vanessa Logan sat on the bench looking longingly at the other kids. Only four and already lonely. She just didn't have a knack for making friends.

        Vanessa felt alone most of the time she felt alone. That is unless she was with her father. Oscar was the only one who ever made an effort to make her feel loved.  He was such a contrast from Julie, her mother.  For as long as Vanessa cold remember her, Julie had always acted cold towards her. If anything went wrong, she would immediately blame Vanessa.

        It made Vanessa wonder sometimes. She had heard all about the day she was born. How she almost die, how her mother had held her lovingly afterwards....After Julie's screaming fits, she'd go to her room to cry, and wondered what she had done to make her mother hate her so much. How did she make her mother change so quickly?

        Because of the way her life was, Vanessa had what most people would call an old "soul". Which made her more emotionally and mentally mature than children her age. She understood what others didn't. A little more about love and compassion.

        But would that help her in the future. Would those qualities help her make her dream come true? Her dream about being a singer. Maybe that wouldn't be her only obstacle. She knew Oscar would support her in anything she wanted to do, but Julie...no, not Julie.

        Oscar wished Julie could see how truly special Vanessa was. If she cold only open her heart. He knew there was a chance that would never happen. Not after what happened. Not after the secret they were both forced to share. A secret he could never...he would never tell Vanessa....never.

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Chapter  2

~Fame Here I Come~

(Six years later)

        After years of getting the door slammed in her face and people telling her she was too young for the business of singing, someone was finally willing to take a chance on her. His name, Mark White. He managed a few famous names and hoped to make Vanessa one of them.

        He had already started her off in the right direction. She'd been partnered up with a group, whom his friend Lou had "created," named "Backstreet Boys." It was composed of five guys, Nick Carter, AJ McLean, Brian Littrell, Howie Dorough, and Kevin Richardson. They were both unsigned and were grouped together to sing at schools and some amusement parks, just to get them out there.

        "Really? That's your name? Isn't that a little queer?" She had asked when she first met them.

        Kevin look at her, "Aren't you a little too young to be asking that kind of question?"

        Vanessa shrugged, "I'm not like most people my age."

        The guys just laughed off her comment. They figured she was some kind of smart ass.

        In a short amount of time, her and the guys eventually became close, despite the age differences she had with all of them. She had become sort of the unofficial 6th Backstreet Boy. They saw her as a little sister. Which was great because Vanessa had always wanted a big brother. Now she had 5.

        She followed Nick with her eyes as he ran around dribbling the basket ball. She studied his features. His hair, blonde with highlights, once used to be wavy but now was straight. The thin eyebrows that arched so perfectly. His eyes that could be seem to be different colors at different times. She preferred it when the blue hue was the strongest in his eyes. His lips that looked so soft. His fair skin, which was now rosy pink from all the running he was doing. She saw Nick as something more than a friend. Could it be possible to be in love at 10? Her thoughts ran off from her.  She got so busy thinking about things she didn't even notice when the game was over.

        Nick noticed the glazed look in her eyes. "Hey, are you ok?"

        She looked up at him and nodded a "hello". "Yeah, I'm fine."

        "Doesn't look like you're ok." AJ said from behind. "Does it have to do with your parent's divorce?"

        Vanessa shook her head. "Not so much..." The divorce itself didn't bother her. She thought it was a great idea. With all the screaming and arguing her parents did, it was only a matter of time before they split. She knew it was the best thing for everyone if they just separated. What hurt her was the fact that Julie had given Oscar sole custody of her. It hurt her that Julie hated her so much, that she didn't want her in her life at all. It hurt because in spite of Julie's behavior towards Vanessa, she still loved her.
      
(Two years later, some where in Europe)

        Now signed to a the same record company as "her boys", we catch up to them in some city overseas.....

        They ran as fast as they could, looking periodically behind them to see if Brian had caught up.

        "I can't believe you pantsed Brian in front of everyone in the lobby." Vanessa said out of breath.

        "He had it coming."  Nick stopped in his tracks, he couldn't keep running.

        Vanessa was a few feet away when she noticed he had stopped. "Come on Nick. What if Brian comes this way."

        "I think we lost him."

         "What if we didn't?" She asked, annoyed.

        Nick caught his breath before he answered. "Look we can hid in that alley behind those trash cans." He pulled her in the right direction.

        "Yuck, these smell awful."

        Ignoring her comment he said, "If he doesn't pass by in ten minutes, we're safe."

        The situation became awkward. They had to stay really close if they didn't want to be seen by anyone. It was quiet for a while.

        Nick broke the silence by asking about Oscar's new wife.

        "Jen's great. She's like the mother I've always wanted." Vanessa replied.

        Nick was about to make a comment when he heard someone headed their way.

        "Was that Brian?" She asked once the person left.

        "I don't know I only saw the back of his head. I think it was him." He smiled. "Sometimes I'm so brilliant, I surprise myself."

        "Yeah, if you say so." She giggled.

        Nick glared at her. He wouldn't stop. He was doing it to make her feel uncomfortable and it was working. She didn't realize Nick was getting closer to her. He was leaning in slowly. Before she knew it, his lips were on her. Just an innocent press on the lips and Nick had given Vanessa her first kiss.

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Chapter  3

~At Last~

(Two Years Later, 1997, Germany)

       He's been talking on the phone two hours. It was always the same when they talked on the phone. He and Vanessa seemed to never run out of things to say. Though it would have been better if they could speak in person.

       Vanessa had gone back to the U.S. the year before. It seemed she was doing well for their target age. BSB on the other hand wasn't, at least not in the State. They had stayed behind to "polish" their act. But soon they'd be on their way home.

       "In three months we're headed back and I think we're detouring in L.A., I'm not sure...but we might get to see you." Nick implied.

       "I hope so. I haven't seen you guys in like forever."

       "Yeah, I hope so too..hey can I ask you a question?"

       "Sure."

       He couldn't figure exactly how to put it, "I like...would you like to be my girlfriend?" He asked quickly. Silence was all he heard over the phone. On the other side of the world was a very happy and very excited girl. It almost came as a shock.  "Did you hear me?"

       "Yes!" She screamed into the phone.

       "Yes you heard me or yes you'll be my girlfriend?"

       "To both...to both."

       Nick smiled to himself. "Cool. Well, I gotta go, we have a show in a while and we're about to leave."

       "Ok, bye Nick."

       "Bye V."

       AJ walked into the room and saw Nick smiling. "She said yeah?"

       "Yup"

       "I knew it. There was no possible way she was gonna say no." He noticed Nick wasn't really paying attention. "Nick, stop yer daydreaming, we gotta go."

~Los Angeles~

       Vanessa skipped down the stairs, thrilled about what happened. After all the time she waited for Nick to see her as more than a friend, she nearly given up on that idea. But finally it had happened. She was now Nick's girlfriend. Her life was just perfect now. With a career that was taking off, two parents that loved her, no Julie to criticize her and Nick as her boyfriend, who could ask for more?

       "Why are you so happy?" Jen, her stepmother asked.

       Vanessa told her the good news. Jen seemed to think it was about time Nick had done that. Was everyone really waiting for them to get together? Could they sense they were meant to be?

       "Just don't tell dad, not yet anyway. I'll tell him when the time's right." Vanessa knew her father all too well. First he's day she was too young to have a boyfriend. Then he'd say Nick was too old for her, even though they were only three years apart. Even if Oscar didn't approve, there was no way she'd break it off with Nick.

~Germany~

       They guys ran to their hotel rooms after their show. The show was a huge success. It was a full house, full of screaming girls. Each hoping to get the attention of one of the guys.

       "I love doing this." Howie said.

       "Yeah me too...I will never get tired of all those girls yelling my name. 'Oh, AJ, I love you.'" He mimicked his fans.

       Brian cut in. "Speaking of girls...did you see the one in the front row, the one with blonde curly hair?"

       AJ nodded. "She was hot." He proclaimed, "But unfortunately she only had eyes for Nick."

       Both AJ and B-Rok stared at him. "What? I didn't notice anything."    

       "To busy thinking about Vanessa?" Kevin asked as he changed.

       "Good job you guys. Great performance." Lou said when he walked in. "We need to go out and celebrate."

~At Restaurant~

       It was a pretty fancy place, at least for the guys. The fanciest place they'd ever been to was McDonalds.

       They walked over to a man who was sitting with a girl that looked about Nick's age.

       "This is my friend Ron Culley." Lou introduced the boys to his longtime friend.

       "This is my daughter Lindsay."

       "Nice to meet you."

       AJ had an inward smile. That was the same girl they were talking about at the hotel. The girl that couldn't keep her eyes off on Nick."

       "We were at the show tonight. Lindsay loved it." Ron said.

       As Ron and Lou made talked about business, the guys made an effort to get to know Lindsay.

       "So, are you from here? You don't have an accent." Brian inquired.

       "No, we're from New York." She answered.

       An hour went by and she was starting to have a good time. Lindsay even moved closer to Nick. After a while she had stopped paying attention to the other four.

       "Do you have a boyfriend?" Nick asked her.

       "No, do you."

       He shook his head. "I don't swing that way."

       Lindsay laughed at his comment. "I meant do you have a girlfriend."  

       "Yeah, I do."

       She didn't let her disappointment show. It was just her luck to find a cute guy and have him be taken. She wasn't going to let a girlfriend get in her way. She always got what she wanted and this was no exception. She wanted Nick and Nick would be hers.

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Chapter  4

~Betrayal~

        Nick dressed quickly. Lindsay would be arriving any minute and he didn't want to keep her waiting. That had a few days off while in Germany and Lin had offered to take him sightseeing.

        "Going out with Lindsay again?" asked D

        Nick explained to him that he really wasn't "going out" with Lin, they were just friends.

        "Jut remember, you have a girlfriend."

        Nick just nodded.

        She picked up a spoonful of ice cream ever so slowly. Some of it dripped onto her chest as she guided it to her mouth. "I just love strawberry ice cream." She said as she dabbed the fallen drops.

        "Yeah, I like it too." Nick agreed.

        As he ate, Lindsay proceeded to tell him the bad news that she was leaving for New York in two days. "Before I go Nick, I want you to know something...I like you a lot. I'm attracted to you... And I've felt the chemistry between us.'" Nick was about to say something, but she stopped him. " Don't say anything until I'M FINISHED... It's just so hard not to fall for you and I want to know if you feel anything for me."

        "I have a girlfriend." He stated simply.

        "I know, but do you?"

        "Yes, but I have a girlfriend."

        She had to somehow convince him that Vanessa wasn't right for him. "What do you feel for her Nick? It can't be love. She's 14 and you're 17. Three years make not seem like a big difference, but it's different when you're this young. She's just starting her life as a teenager and you'll be 18 next year. You're gonna be an adult, a man. And trust me Nick, men have needs. Needs which she wont be able to provide because she's 14...I can give you whatever you need. Just ask me and I'll do it. " She leaned in to kiss him. She let him slip his tongue in her mouth. She knew exactly what she was doing...when she pulled away, she sensed Nick wanted more. "Let's go back to the hotel."

        Was she suggesting what he was thinking? "We can't. Your dad's room is right next to yours."

        "He's off signing some construction permits. He wont be back for a while." She stood up to leave.

        "OK." Nick followed behind.

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Chapter  5

~Oblivious~

        The TV was on low. Her head dropping...The ringing of the phone startled her.

        "Hello" Vanessa said drowsily. "Oh, hey Nick...yeah I was...Oh, we wont be in L.A. either...I don't know where...oh..."

        The sound of the door slamming caught Vanessa's attention. "I cannot stand that man. He is so stubborn." Deborah said loudly.

        "What's wrong Deb?" She asked her assistant."

        "If you and Deb have to talk...I'll just call back later, V."

        She didn't want to hang up, but Deb seemed so upset. "Ok...bye."

        "I'm sorry. I didn't know you where on the phone."

        "It's ok...so what's up with Mark?"

        "He's as stubborn as ever. I asked him if there was any possible way to get your songs on the CD and he comes up with all these excuses that the record company wont allow it and blah blah blah." There was a simple reason Deborah and Mark couldn't get along. They were just too much alike.

        Without even knocking Mark entered the room. Vanessa made a point to keep the door locked next time.
        "So you don't want to sing the songs that were given to you?"

        She asked him if he'd even read them. When he said no she read him a few lines. "I'm your friend, you're my friend...let's help the world be friends'.... I have nothing against friendship, but this is just too corny."

        "So, you think you can do better than professional song writers?" She said yes. "Fine, we'll take some of your stuff to the music coordinator, let's she if she likes it."

        "Thanks Mark. I knew you weren't so bad."
  
        Nick sat on the bed with the phone in his hands. Replaying what had happened between him and Lindsay and the things she said.

        "I think you have to choose between me and her. You can't have us both, cause I don't like to share."

        "I choose you, Lin"

        He should have told Vanessa when he had her on the phone. Her possible reaction terrified him. He didn't want to hurt her. Despite what happened, he still cared for Vanessa.

        "Turn on the light." Brian requested as he went into the bathroom.

        "Me and Lindsay had sex." The need to get it out in the open finally one and he just blurted it out.

        "That's great." Brian responded without registering Nick's comment. Once he realized what had been said he ran out of the bathroom. "Are you serious?" Nick could do nothing but nod. " Wow...what about Vanessa?"

        I like her...she's cool and all, but she's like one of the guys...I think what happened was....I missed hanging out with her and it made me confuse my feelings for her."

        Brian just stared at Nick. How could he, of all people, do something like that. And what would Vanessa say when she found out. Everyone knew that she had been in love with Nick for a long time. How would she react?

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Chapter  6

~Meeting New People~

(Weeks later, Miami, FL)

        Mist from the ocean sprayed on his skin as he threw the Frisbee to his friend. The Frisbee flew in the air and landed a few feet away. "J, you never catch it." JC yelled.

        Justin ran after the toy. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going. He tripped over a girl. "I'm so sorry." He realized she was Vanessa, the singer.

        "It's ok." Vanessa told him. He looked familiar to her. "Have we met before?"

        "No, but you might remem----"

        "Vanessa!" Deborah yelled, interrupting Justin.

        "Gotta go." She ran off.

        "Typical of Mark. Working on off days! Remember that girl you were supposed to do a duet with?" Vanessa nodded. The record company had wanted them to do a duet, but their schedules always conflicted and they never set a time. "Well, she's in town and apparently, tomorrow after your recording session you have to meet with her."

        She forgot she had studio time the next day. The same day that the boys arrive in Miami. "Do I have to?"

        "Afraid so."

~Next Day~

        "I'm so glad they approved your songs." Deb and Vanessa walked into the studio. As Mark had a style of being early to everything, he was already there, but he wasn't the only one.

       The guy she had bumped into and three other guys were there. Had there been a mishap? Maybe the over scheduled the studio. It'd be no problem for her. She can always go welcome BSB when they arrived.

        "No mix up...I have no idea why these guys are still here. We do have to wait a while, there's a problem with the mic."

        Justin saw her right away. What a coincidence. Justin apologized once more for the day before. Then he explained why he looked familiar.

        "The Mickey Mouse Club, of course. And that guy too right?" She pointed to JC. "My boyfriend would have been on that show too, but he got another offer." Calling Nick her boyfriend really felt good. "So why are you guys waiting?"

        "One of our members is in the bathroom...want me to introduce you to the guys?"

        "Sure."

        "This is JC Chasez, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone and that guy with the braids walking this way is Chris Kirtpatrick."

        "Time is money" She heard Mark say. Which was his way of telling her it was time to get to work.

~At Hotel~

        AJ and Nick were roommates this time around. They entered the room each carrying their luggage. Inside was a little surprise for Nick.

        "Lindsay what are you doing here.

        She didn't answer. She looked at AJ "I'll leave you to alone." He left.

        "I found out where you were staying at. I just wanted to see you. I hope that's OK."

        Why was she there? Even though he had explained to Lin that he hadn't broken up with Vanessa because he was waiting for the right time, she kept on pressuring him. Threatening that if he didn't tell her it was over, she'd do it herself.

        "I'll do...just let me find out where she's staying at."

        "That's a good Nick...now, before you do that, wanna do something with me?"

        "What do you have in mind." He smirked

        "This." She undid her blouse.

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Chapter  7~ Part 1

~Broken Hearted~

        "I though it was fixed." Mark said angrily. He signaled Vanessa to get out of the booth.

        They sat around while the mic was being fixed, again. The studio phone rang a while before anyone answered it. "It's the hotel, they have an urgent message for you, Ness." Deb handed her a piece of paper.

        "The hospital?" What could have happened? She dialed the number on the paper.

        "Yes, um..." She didn't know whether to ask for her father as a patient or not, the clerk had given no other information. "Is there a patient by the name Oscar Logan? Well, can you page him?...thank you." She hope there was nothing wrong. "Dad, why are you in the hospital? ... what? Why didn't you tell me she was....I'll take the next flight to L.A....are you sure? Ok..call me soon. Bye." When she hung up everyone was looking at her expectantly. She took a deep breath, trying to control her emotions. "Jennifer was...she was pregnant, but she had a miscarriage. So...but...he says I should stay here...but...he..."
Deborah saw how upset she was getting.

        "I'm sorry Nessa..." She hugged her.

        Vanessa saw Nick when he entered the studio. "Nick!" She ran to him. "I'm so glad you're here. I needed someone to talk to."

        "Yeah, talk. We need to talk."

        "Why are you crying?"

        Vanessa told Nick about the incident with Jennifer. He expressed his apologies about the whole situation.

        Jennifer didn't deserve that to happen to her. She would have made a good mother. She had been a great step mom to Vanessa. Jennifer was so different from Julie. Jen was so warn and Julie so cold. Though as Vanessa grew older, she started to understand, or maybe tried to understand Julie. At the age of fifteen she had gotten pregnant. She had hopes and dreams like anyone at that age, but she had to set them aside because she was having a baby. After Julie married Oscar and she became a housewife, while he went to school to become an architect. "Maybe my mom would have been better off with a miscarriage."

        "Don't..don't say that."

        I'm sorry, I'm just upset...anyway...didn't you have something you wanted to tell me?"

        He couldn't tell her. It's wasn't the right time. "It's not important."

        "Tell me. You can tell me anything." He kept insisting it didn't matter and she kept insisting that he tell her.

        "I slept with someone while I was in Europe"

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Chapter  7~ Part 2

~Broken Hearted~

~In A Private Room~

        That was completely unexpected. "With that Lindsay girl, right?" Nick nodded. She should have known. Nick talked about her an awful lot when they were on the phone. "Um...ok..." She held back her tears and steadied her voice. "Are you telling me this because you want me to forgive you and go on with this relationship or because you want to break up with me to be with her?"

        She was an important part of his life. His best friend, aside from B-Rok. "I'm sorry, but I want to be with Lindsay."

        No, she wouldn't cry. "It's ok Nick...I understand. I met someone too. His name is Justin." She said the first name that popped into her head. Vanessa was so calm, Nick didn't know whether she was lying or not. "He's cool...and he's a singer. As a matter of fact, he's a member of that new group Lou's managing."

        "New group?"

        "Didn't you know?..Anyway... I understand you didn't want to hurt me. That's the same reason I didn't tell you about Justin." If the music thing didn't work out, she could always go into acting. She surprised herself at how good she was lying.

        "That's great for you V. But are we cool? Are we still friends?"

        "You know it." She said. "Now I'm curious to meet Lindsay."

        Nick got a bright idea. A new all ages club had recently opened in Miami. He suggested they get together that night.

        "Sounds fun." Why had she opened her big mouth? She didn't want to meet the girl that took Nick away from her. "Oh, you know what... I don't think I can tonight....I have to work with this girl...so." She said trying not to sound too eager to cancel.

        "You have to go, come on."

        She couldn't say no to Nick. "Ok, call me and if we're done...I'll go."

        "Deal..."

        She told him she had to get back to recording. He walked her out. "Why don't you just go ahead....I have to go to the bathroom"

        "K, see you tonight then."

        "Yeah, maybe." As soon as the bathroom door closed behind her, the tears that were welling up inside finally found their exit. And how could he actually believe she was ok with it?...She fell to the floor and cried. Tears rushing with a force...When she finally composed herself she realized there were people waiting for her. How long had she been in there?

        "There you are?" Deb said when she found Vanessa. "We've been waiting for you." She noticed that Vanessa had been crying. "Are you still upset about Jennifer?"

        "That and...Nick, he broke up with me...to be with someone else."

        "Aww, Nessa...I'm so sorry...If you're not feeling up to it, we can aske Mark to let you have the rest of the day off."

        That was the last thing she needed. A day off meant free time. Free time meant time to think, and she didn't want to think. Work would help her get her mind off of her problems. "Let's go make some music." She forced a smile

        "Forever, take one....1, 2, 3" The music producer counted her down.

"I've loved you for such a long time.
I'd given up on the hope
That someday you'd be mine.
Then I hear you say "I love you"
And I know those words are true.

Forever is how long
I'll love you, baby
Forever is how long
We'll be as one
Forever
In this life and beyond...." She choked on her words. Tears rolled down her cheek once more....What was happening to her "perfect life?"

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Chapter  8

~The Meeting~

         After hours of going through what seemed like thousands of songs, they finally found a song they both liked. "It's really upbeat and fun." She said in her southern accent.

        "Yeah." Vanessa said absentmindedly. "Hey, thanks for letting me tell you about my problems."

        "It was nothing. When I saw you crying I knew you needed someone to talk to."

        "It was something. You didn't know me and I just blabbed. Really, thanks for listening."

        "Don't mention it." She put on her sweater. "I think this is he start of a beautiful friendship." They both laughed.

        "I hope so." Vanessa really didn't have any friends besides the people she worked with. Her closest friends were the guys. She had never really interacted with girls her age. And Britney Spears seemed like a nice person. They seemed to hit it off a soon as they met. "It seems like today's 'Mickey Mouse Club' day." Vanessa had mentioned meeting Justin and JC. Apparently Britney and Justin had a history, if you could call it that. He wanted something with her but she didn't want to be in a relationship.

        What a similar situation they were both in... Wanting someone they couldn't have.

        Not long after Britney had gone, Nick called to ask if she'd be able to go. She admitted she was free, but was too tired to go. Somehow he convinced her, AJ would be by in a few minutes.

        AJ was driving pretty fast, or maybe it just seemed that way to her.

        "So, where is the rest of quintet?"

        "Kevin wanted to sleep early, Howie was busy picking out his outfit for tomorrow, Brian stayed in his room talking on the phone with his girlfriend and Nick is already at the club...Are you okay with this whole thing?...Meeting Lindsay I mean."

        "Yeah, why shouldn't I be?"

        She couldn't fool him. He knew her far to well. Why was she putting herself through this?

        Immediately she spotted Nick, he was with a blonde girl.  That must be Lindsay, she thought to herself. So that was her?

        AJ and Vanessa made their way through the crowd. She put on a fake smile when Nick introduced her to Lindsay.

        "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll go to the bar and get a drink."

        Vanessa pointed out a little problem. "Age, are you forgetting you're not 21? You can't get alcohol.

        "I can still try."

        What a doofus... Now with AJ gone, she felt more uncomfortable than before. With him there at least she had someone to talk to when Nick and Lindsay made out, which had happened a lot throughout the night. Great, here they go again. She said in her head when they started kissing. She diverted her eyesight. Looking directly at hem would start the water works and she didn't want to cry in front of the 2 "love birds".

        Nick pulled away from Lindsay. "Be back." He made his way to the bathroom.

        Lindsay smiled and looked her over. Vanessa wasn't bad at all. Long, dark raven hair, emerald green eyes and tanned skin. She didn't look at all 14. If she wanted Nick, she could easily use her womanly charms to get him back. But Lin wouldn't let him o so easily. "So you're the ex...Nick told me a lot about you."

        "He did?"

        "Yeah. He also told me you took the break up really well, mostly because you like someone else right?"

        "That's right." She faked smiled again.

        "I don't buy it. I can tell right away that you have feelings for him...I bet you'd do anything to get him back."

        "You have it all wrong." Vanessa said coolly.

        "If I were you, I'd stay away from him. I don't like girls around him, much less ones desperate like you."

        "Lindsay...you...are....pa....the....tic." She said slowly. "You're insecurity is pathetic. Not so sure of how much Nick 'loves' you, are you? And you better learn how to deal with girls running after Nick, one day he's gonna be really big and he's gonna have millions of girls following him...and I'm not gonna stay away from him, because he's my friend."

        "Bitch"

        If it weren't for Nick walking their way, Vanessa would have slapped that whore.

        As the night went on, the tension in the air got worse. All Vanessa wanted to do was leave, but AJ was nowhere to be seen. How would she get out of this?

        That questioned was answered when she saw Justin walk in. "Oh...look there's Justin." She pointed so Nick and Lindsay could see. "You guys don't mind if I go talk to him?"

        "No, go ahead." Nick gave her thumbs up.

        What am I doing? What am I going to say to him? "Hey Justin, we meet again." After a while of talking she confessed the big lie she included him in and how her current situation was.

        "No, it's fine. I can pretend if you want me to...wanna dance?" He took her to the dance floor. When a slow song was played, he pulled her closer to him. "That guy's looking this way." Her head was about to turn. "Don't turn."

        "Sorry."

        "Do you wanna see if we can make him jealous."

        "I don't know." She sounded unsure.

        Justin pulled her even closer to him. And right there with Nick looking at them, he kissed her.

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Chapter  9

~The Deal~

       Wow! He's not a bad kisser, not bad at all.

       He relented his hands from her waist. "Nice," She stared, not knowing how to react. "He still looking this way." He whispered loudly.

       "Oh ok." She said, still a bit shocked from the kiss.

       "Why don't we go over there?" He lead her to Nick. Justin was introduced to the couple and they made mild conversation.

       It was getting late and AJ showed no sign of wanting to leave. He had found someone to buy him alcohol and was now out on the dance floor, having the time of his life. Not that she'd get in a car with Age in that state, Nick would probably have to drive. She didn't want to be in the same car as Lindsay.

       "I have an early day tomorrow so I gotta get going."

       Disappointment swept across Vanessa's face. "Oh, ok...I'll see you late then, J?" Please go along.

       "Yeah..." He noticed her look. "Do you need a ride?"

       Thank you, thank you. "Thanks."
      
       The drove in silence. She hardly knew this guy, but she was really thankful for what he'd done.

       "We could really help each other." He broke the silence.

       She didn't understand what he meant. "What?"

       They were both broken hearted. Both "in love" with people who didn't correspond. Maybe if the got together, they could trick themselves into moving on.

       She didn't think it was such a great idea. It could complicate things. What if one fell in love with the other, but the other didn't. She couldn't go through, she just couldn't.

       "I guess you're right." He said as he opened the door for her.

       There on the other side of the street was Nick. Lindsay leaning against the car.

       Why? Why do I have to stay in the same hotel as she? Am I destined to misery? Why are you doing this to me, life? When she saw them kiss that time, it was the last straw. She didn't want to feel that way anymore. "Justin, maybe your idea isn't so bad. I think we could make it work." Her desperation took over.

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Chapter 10

~Breaking It Off~

(January 1999)   
 
       Britney was talking her ear off. How long had she been blabbing? 5 hours maybe? Who knew, Vanessa had stopped listening.

       "What?" Britney had asked her a question but she hadn't heard.

       "I asked what's up with you? Why aren't you paying attention."

       "I'm just reading this song Chris wrote for me. It's pretty good, she has talent."

       "You gonna put it on your next cd."

       "Yeah, maybe. Oh, you know what I read in the tabloids. Supposedly Chris, me and you had a big fight last weekend at Deb's party. Some kind of a big cat fight between the three of us."

       "That is so ridiculous....How's Jennifer? No problems yet?"

       Jennifer was four months pregnant. She had the fear of another miscarriage. Though the doctor said it was a no-risk pregnancy, she was still worried. As long as she got her rest, everything would be fine. "They're telling me everything's fine, but dad is like wanting me to go for a few days."

       "Oh...how are things with you and Justin?"

       How are things? There was really no point to their relationship. She'd already accepted that Nick would never be with her. After Lindsay cheated on him, instead of going to her, he found someone else. "Amanda is so controlling. She says jump and he asks how high...but I'm not going to tell him anything. Last time I said anything about Lindsay we didn't talk for two weeks, and I hated that. So I'm just keeping my mouth shut." But then again, who was she to talk about mismatched relationships, she was with a guys she had no feelings for.

       "As your friend, I'm telling you to listen to yourself. If you're not happy being with Justin, break it off. It's only fair."

       "I know." The phone stared beeping. "Damn crap! It's low battery. How about I call you later?"

       "Later then."

       She sat for a while thinking about what Brit Brit told her. She was right. The facade couldn't go on. And she was going to do something about it.

       The computer was already on. All she did was click on the AOL icon. She signed in as a guest, using her secret sn, ThisKaosS4Nick. A screen name which only a few people knew, none of them being Nick. She pressed the "write" button and entered JustInTime

        Hey J,
               Where have you been? Haven't talked to you in 2 weeks. I've been trying to reach you for the longest, need to tell you something, but I guess I now have to do it over e-mail. How do I put this? I think we should break up. Let's be honest, our planned didn't work. You're not over Britney, I'm not over Nick. I think it was easier for us to pretend than to face reality...I hope you understand the situation.

                                                Later,
                                                Vanessa

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Chapter 11

~Tradgedy Strike~

(Feb. 7, 1999)

        Nick, Nick, Nick! He's all she ever thought about, even in her dreams.

        She heard a faint ringing. It slowly brought her out of her sleep. "Who could it be this early?" She asked herself. The phone stopped riniging and she went back to sleep.

        Minutes later a knock on the door woke her, again. "Now what?" When she opened the door, Deborah stood there, crying.

        "Deb, what's the matter?"

        "Sit down." She did as she was told. "I've have some bad news." She waited, tried to think of the right words. But are there any right words to tell a girl father is dead?

        "You're lying...this is some kind of a sick joke, right? Who put you up to it."

        Crying even harder than before, Deborah told her it wasn't a joke. When Jennifer couldn't reach Vanessa she had called Deb.

        "No! No! It isn't true...It can't be true!"

~In Los Angeles, Funeral Home~

        The room was quiet, except for the sobbing. There were a lot of people who attended the funeral, even Julie managed to show up. It was so unfair, he shouldn't have died, not the way he did.

        He was stabbed 27 times. All because of some stupid, stupid mistake. The day before he dies, he'd gone to Richard's house. His friend was having an affair with a woman. She was married. The husband found out and hired someone to kill Richard, but insted they ended up killing Oscar. It all happened whenRichard stepped into the backyard for a smoke, his wife didn't allow him to do it inside the house.

        Nick, AJ, Brian, Howie, and Kevin were there. They had all expressed their sympathy, but Nick kept his distance. He had brought his girlfriend Mandy and spent most of the time with her. Like it mattered to Vanessa. He wasn't really important at the time.

        Nick wanted to comfort her, but couldn't. Amanda was a very jealous person and he didn't want to fight anymore. Too late had he realized his true feelings for Vanessa. He wasn't sure if it as love, but he wanted to be with her, that much he knew. But as stated before it was too late. When Lindsay and him were through, Vanessa was already in a relationship with Justin. So like Vanessa, he quickly got into another relationship to push his feelings for her away.

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Chapter 12

        Vanessa was packing again, this time to Seattle where she'd resume her tour. She still had a month of performances left.

        "Am I bothering you?" Jennifer stood by the door with a present in her hand.

        "No..." Vanessa replied. "What's that?"

        "This is for you. With all that happened I forgot to give the gift that me and your...." She handed the gift to Vaness. "Here."

        She took the last present her father ever bought her. Tears came to her eyes when she saw the full collection of Shakespeare's work. Oscar had known her so well. "Thanks."

        Besides the gift, Jennifer had something important to tell Vanessa. "Remember when your....when...Oscar kept insiting you come home."

        "Yeah...I feel so guilty that I didn't."

        Jennifer and Oscar had talked Julie into giving up all of her parental rights. Once that was done, Jennifer would legally adopt Vanessa as her own daughter. Now, with Oscar dead, Julie wanted to take Vanessa away from Jennifer.

        "I don't want to live with Julie. Can't you take this to court?"

        "I already talked to a lawyer, but he said I had little chance of winning."

        "I don't want to live with her. Granted I'm not home much, but I don't want to spend anytime with her."

        "Ness, I think it's a good idea you spend time with her. She is your mom after all, but I'll talk to Julie. I'm sure we can come up with some sort of compromise where I can have you for some time and she can have you the rest of the time. Don't worry." And Julie would have to accept that compromise, even if Jennifer had to use that little secret she didn't want anyone to know. Call it blackmail if you would, but she loved Vanessa.

        "I wont."

        "Good." Julie sat beside Vanessa on the bed. "So, tell me...are the results in?"

        "No...yeah. Dr. Montes called me but I didn't want to hear them over the phone. I'm kinda scared to hear them, but I've come terms with the worst case scenario."

        Jennifer was concerned too. "Well, you need to go to her offce today because you leave tonight."

        "I know. I was planning on going after I packed." She smiled when she remembered how Jennifer had first reacted.

        "Don't tell me your pregnant. I wouldn't expect this from you Vanessa..." Jennifer was indignant.

        "Pregnant? Virgins don't get pregnant, not that I know of, unless it was immaculate conception. My irergular period has nothing to do with that, trust me. The reason I'm worried...I've read that an irregular period can sometimes be a sign of infertility."

~~~~~~~~~~

        Her feeling was right. The results were in her hand. If she ever wanted to concieve she'd need either hormone injections or pills, medication and/or medical treatment. Vanessa didn't want to go through all that.

        If she ever wanted to have kids, she'd adopt. What was the big deal with biological children?  You could still have a strong bond with an adopted kid. Besides, they needed the families.

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Chapter 13

~Leaking Secret~

(June 2000)

        It had been two months after her last tour. In those two months she'd been apart from Jennifer and her half brother David (he was born a healthy 8 pounds in July 1999). In those two months, Vanessa thought she's figured out why Julie hated her.

        Jennifer gave her a few boxes with some of Oscar's stuff. Julie right away decided they should go in the attic.

        One night when she couldn't sleep she went up into the attic to distract herself. There were many boxes, not knowing which were the ones that Jennifer had given her, she opened them randomly.

        The first one was full of Oscar's stuff, pictures, papers, and high school yearbooks. She flipped through the yerabooks, finding images of her mother and father. She also found a picture of Jennifer. Neither of her parents had ever mentioned knowing Jennifer since high school.

        She opened another box, this one was Julie's. Her curioustity did not let her put it back where it belonged. Instead she searched through it. Finding an old diary and some baby clothes. At the botto were pieces of torn paper. Vanessa pieced some of it together, making out only a few of the words.

        She read, "Nine-teen ... something ... whatever ... due...comp...what's that word...hys...hmmm....hysterectomy? It has to be that...yeah." And everything made sense. Oscar told her there were complications during her birth, because of her Julie had to have a hysterectomy. Is that why she hated her? Did Julie want to have more children and couldn't because of Vanessa's complicated brith?

        Yeah, that could be it. For now, Vanessa wouldn't confront Julie. It'd save a lot of awkward moments between them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Days Later)

        "You're crazy!" Nick laughed into the phone.

        "Am not! I really wanna do this." Vanessa said.

        "So you have any idea what's gonna happen when you walk in there. You'l be mobbed."

        Yeah, sure "Why do you assume they'll be fans of mine? They probably aren't."

        "You're crazy!" He said again. "Where did you get this whole going to school business?"

        "I dunno, I saw my dad's old yearbooks and it made me want to go to school."

        "V, youre crazy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(December 2001)

        Three months had passed since she started school. Time sure did fly by.

        There were a lot of poeple she'd met, but only a few she considered friends. Joshua Moore was one of them...

        Her back pack was already open when she reached for "The Runaway Jury." It was one of her favorite books and not matter how many times she read it, she couldn't get tired of it.

        "Already done with the chemistry assigment?" Josh asked her.

        She smiled. "Uh huh....aren't you?"

        "How in the hell did you finish so fast. I'm barely on the fist page of the formulas."

        "My tutor went over this a long time ago...Want me to help?" Vanessa asked.

        "I guess." Pretty, talented, and smart. Vanessa seemed like the perfect woman in his eyes. He was a fan of hers before and never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagined that Vanessa would be going to his school, much less consider him a friend. Though he didn't have hopes of a relationship with her. There was no way a girl like that would fall for him. "Do you have a date for Winter Ball?"

        "Nah." She saind blandly. "Some of the guys who asked me.....geez."

        He laughed. "That bad?"

        "All jerks!"

        "What if I asked you? Would you go?"

        Vanessa hadn't planned on going. Formals weren't really her thing. But then again, part of the reason she'd gone to school was to have the full experience of being a normal teen. And they attended school functions. "Yeah."

        "Then it's a date." Josh contimplated on the idea of going out with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        It was only 11:20, but she was sleepy. While others had plans of attending after parties, she just wanted to go home to her bed.

        "I'm sorry Josh, I guess I just got used to sleeping early."

        "It's ok...." He was quiet for a while then blurted out. "You wouldn't be interested in being my girlfriend would you?" He had such a good time with her, it was worth the shot.

        She didn't even think about it. "No."

        Without hiding the pain in his eyes he said, "Oh...I guess...I mean why would you want me, when you can date guys like Justin Timberlake, right?"

        In a very apologetic tone she told him it wasn't like that. "I just don't have much luck in relationships. Not that I've had many but they've kinda not been the best, and I'm still hurting right now."

        He nodded, signaling he understood. She needed time, that's all. He knew that eventually she'd be with him.

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Chapter 14

(Feb 8, 2001)

    Nick lay in bed, bobbing his head to the music coming from AJ's room. The clock read 11:50. It would almost be 12 A.M., which would make it Vanessa's birthday. He knew she'd be having a big party at Jennifer's house and he really wanted to go. Unfortunately he had a show the next day.

    He had thought of the perfect present, something she always wanted. Now he had to wait almost a month before he could get it and give it to her. In March they'd be in L.A. for two days, it seemed that was the only time he'd be able to see her.  Or....

    Or maybe he could make the party and then take a flight after the Vegas show, then take a flight to their next destination the morning after the party. It could work, he just needed an excuse to tell the guys.

~L.A.~

    "Christina Maria Aguilera, what do you think you're doing just sitting there. Come help me put the banner up." Britney said authoritatively.

    "Oh, all right." Chris stood from the chair she'd been sitting on. Britney handed her one end of the birthday banner. "I can't reach."

    "Get on a chair like I'm doing, see?"

    "I am on a chair."

    Britney looked down to see that Chris was standing on David's plastic chair, she couldn't help but laugh. "Be serious, Chris."

    Vanessa walked in from the front door. She took one look at the house and said, "This is gonna be the best 18th birthday party ever!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    There were a lot of cars lined along the street when Nick arrived. He assumed the party had been going on for a few hours already. He parked the car and once outside put the top on the present. "It's gonna be dark for a little while guy, don't be scared."

    "Nick!"

    The voice from behind him sounded familiar. He turned only to be face to face with Lindsay. "What are you doing here?"

    "I heard about Vanessa's bash on some entertainment show, I guessed you'd come. Just lucky to arrive at the same time I guess." She smiled sweetly at him.

    Well, he guessed she had probably been waiting all day for him. "So, what do you want?"

    She was angered that he didn't really care she was there. "You! I know I made some mistakes in the past, but I've changed."

    He looked at her carefully. On the outside she was the same old Lindsay. What had he ever seen in her?...Right, it was the sex! That wouldn't work on him anymore. "I'm glad for you....but if you'll excuse me I have somewhere to be.

~Inside~

    The space set up to be the dance floor was packed. She hadn't expected so many people to attend, since she only invited people from her class, but it seemed like the whole school was there.

    She needed help. Some of the kids were getting a little too rowdy. "Josh..." She yelled over the music. "Have you seen Chris or Brit?"

    He shook his head. "I'll help you look for them if you want?"

    "Thanks." As she turned to walk away, she saw Nick walking her way. A smile spread across her face, but it quickly disappeared when she saw Lindsay behind him. She turned away.

    "Nick, listen to me...hear me out."

    He hadn't even noticed that Lindsay was behind him. "Go away, don't be so pathetic." He went after Vanessa. "Hey, V!"

    She had to turn. "Oh, hey Nick!"

    He opened his arms, "Time for your birthday hug."

    She pressed hard against him. He smelled so good.

    He picked up the present he'd put on the floor. "Here."

    "Nick, I kinda have stuff to do, put it with the rest of the gifts."

    "You gotta open it now."

    "Fine." She opened the box and inside was a cute little German Shep. "Oh...how adorable." She held the pup in her arms. "He or she?"

    "He."

    "He is so cute....thanks Niky." She noticed Lindsay walking their way. Vanessa handed the puppy back to Nick. "Hold on to him for now, I gotta go to the kitchen. I can't take him with me."

    "You can't leave me alone, I don't know anyone."

    "You know Lindsay." She walked away.

    Was she jealous? He hoped she was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Chris was already in the kitchen when Vanessa walked in.

    "I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!" Vanessa pounded on the counter.

    "Britney? What did she do this time?"

    "Lindsay! Nick brought her...how dare he....he is such an idiot....my goodness, she cheated on him...stupid....stupid.... boy!"

    Chris laughed softly. "He cheated on you, and you'd take him back." She retorted.

    For a while she was at a loss of words, but then she said, "It's different."

~Later that night~

    Chris had been going in and out of the kitchen for an hour. That whole time Vanessa had been hiding in there.

    "When are you going to go out there and have some fun. It's your party, besides, Nick's been asking for you."

    "Never....it's all wrong....there are too many people, we don't have enough food, they're breaking stuff and I saw someone with beer....it's all wrong!"

    Britney rushed in with the puppy in her arms. "Drunk alert! Some kids in the backyard are completely drunk."

    "That's it." Vanessa went outside and brought all of them in, among them there was Nick. Once they were inside, she turned of the music. "The party is over. I suggested that those of you who aren't drunk out of their minds, drive the ones who are, home."

    There was no way she would let Nick drive to the hotel in his condition. She walked him to one of the rooms, while Brit and Chris ushered the teens out of the house.

    Nick was hesitant to go inside. "I don't wanna."

    "Why not?"

    "Cause it's dark?" He asked.

    "Why are you asking me? You should know why you don't want to go inside."

    "Yeah, because it's dark."

    She shook her head. "Please, don't start acting like a baby, Nick."

    "Turn on the light."

    "Ok, ok." She walked in to flipped the light switch. Nick followed behind and blocked her way out.

    "You look purdy today."

    She was feeling rather uncomfortable with im so close to her. "Thanks." Her smile was awkward. "Can you please move, I need to go downstairs?"

    "I love you."

    Her initial reaction was that of shock, then disbelief.  "You're drunk and you don't know what you're saying."

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Chapter 15

    "I love you." He said once more before kissing her. Pressing against her so hard he had to lean against the wall.

    "Nick!" She said when he pulled away to catch his breath.

    "Don't be afraid." He whispered before kneeling down.

    Knowing what he was thinking, she protested. "Nick don't!" Her voice was a little shaky.

    Nick hooked his thumb into her jean's waist band and gently pulled them down, making sure her panties followed.

    There were so many thoughts going through Vanessa's head. She didn't know which to listen to. But the moment he started to undress her, she knew what she wanted, and that was Nick.

    She parted her legs, giving Nick access to her dripping vagina. He took one small taste then looked at her as if asking permission to continue, she gave me a small nod. With her approval he licked her once more, this time harder, licking just above her slit. When his tongue touched her hard little knob Vanessa moaned. He surrounded his lips around her clit, sucking, drawing it into his mouth. As he flickered his tongue against her clit, her moaned grew louder until she exploded into her very first orgasm.

    He stood in front of her again. "Did you like that?"

    She drew in her breath and nodded.

    "I can make you feel better."

    What does that mean? She thought to herself. He means sex, doesn't her. Yeah he does. What should I do? " Uh..Nick...I have to go to the bathroom, but hold that thought.

    She scolded herself for letting that happen. It just wasn't the right thing to do. Not when he's with Lindsay again.

    By the time she was ready to go out, Nick was passed out on the floor. She quietly dressed and walked out of the room.  She figured he probably wouldn't remember anything, and there was no need to remind him....She walked down the stairs with an unmanned smile on her face.

    "Where's Nick?"

    "What do you want Lindsay?"

    "Nick is my ride."  She said.

    "Nick is a little incapacitated right now, I don't think he's going anywhere."

    She walked closer to Vanessa. "Really? That's just fine cause I'm not going anywhere without Nick."

    Vanessa stood firm. "This is my house, sort of, and you're not welcomed here. So, you can either leave on your own or I'll kick you out myself."

    Lindsay slapped Vanessa across her face. "I've been wanting to do that for a long time."

    "And I've been wanting to do this." Vanessa grabbed Lindsay's hair from each side of her hair.

    In an effort to push Vanessa away, they fell to the floor. Lindsay landing on top of Vanessa. Lindsay slapped her again. After Vanessa regained herself, she fought as fiercely as Lindsay.

    "What the hell is going on here?" Christina yelled when she entered the living room. She tried to stop them, but try as she might, they wouldn't budge. "Britney!" She screamed, hoping she'd here from the outside.

    She walked in with the puppy following behind,"Oh shit." Britney cursed.

    "Help me will ya?"

    Both of them were able to get Vanessa off of Lindsay.

    "Can't you fight your own fights? You need your bitches to help you?" Lindsay said while on the ground.

    "Get out!!!" Vanessa ordered.

    "I'll leave. But jus remember, Nick is mine."

    Vanessa had a few scratches on her face and was bleeding from her lower lip.

    "It's not as bad as Lindsay." Chris laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The light hit his eyes, though asleep, he squinted. Nick turned over to avert the sun, not knowing he was already near the edge. Rather than the pain, it was the loud thud that awoke him. He opened his eyes, half realizing where he was.

    After getting himself together he made his way downstairs into the kitchen. Vanessa sat on the counter eating breakfast.

    "Hey." He greeted groggily.

    "Hey." She looked up at him.

    Nick's eyes widened. "What happened to you?"

    "Had a fight with your girlfriend."

    He smiled. "I don't have a girlfriend.

    "Not what Lindsay says."

    Nick explained to her that Lindsay wanted him back, but he didn't want her. "I want you, Vanessa. I meant what I said last night."

    "You remember?"

    "Yuppers. How could I forget that?...Vanessa, I love you and I want another chance."

    She wanted to say yes, but she was worried about getting hurt again.  But wasn't love worth the risk? "Everyone deserves a second chance."

    "You wont regret it." He hugged her so tight as though he wouldn't ever let her go. "I love you."

    "I love you to."

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Chapter 16

(June 21, 2001)

    He sat on the bleachers trying to blend in. Niether the black baseball cap nor the dark glasses could hid his identity. The young girls that attended the ceremony recognized him almost immediately.  They ran and asked to get his autograph.

    "Only a few. This thing's about to start."

    On the other side of the football field Vanessa stood in line with all her fellow classmates. Each male wearing a silver cap and gown while the females wore the same in burgandy.
    She stood there, looking back at the past year. It certainly was an interesting one, a year she'd never forget, mostly because Nick was a very big part of it. Even Julie was started to act like a real mom to Vanessa.

    They walked to the field and sat on the chairs. The school principal gave a speech. And them some students did so too. Vanessa read a poem for The Class Of 2001.

At last here I am,
At this point in my life.
The moment I've been waiting for.
To walk down that isle
In my graduation gown.
Looking into the crowd
And seeing the proud faces of my  family.
I'm going forward and not looking back.
Walking into my future and letting go of my past.
Adulthood has started,
And my childhood is gone.
I start a new life,
A new life of my own.
I'll miss the days when I was young,
But that's the price to pay
When one gorws up.


~After Graduation~

    "Congratulations sweety." Both Jennifer and Julie gave her hugs.

    "Who's going with who?" Julie asked.

    "Mom, remember, Grad Nite."

    Jennifer shook her head. "I don't think it's safe for you to go to Disneyland. You are a celebrity, even if you don't consider yourself one. Something could happen."

    "Nick, help me out here. Tell them I'm old enough to take care of myself."

    He smirked. "No can do. I agree with them."

    "SHUT UP!" She laughed. "Moms, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, these people just see my as regular old Vanessa Logan."

    Jennifer hugged Vanessa again. "I have to go pick up David."

    "I have to go too.... See you tomorrow Vanessa."

    "Bye." She waved as they dissapeared.

    Nick turned to her and pulled her close. "Why did you lie to them?"

    "Cause, I want to spend some alone time with you, since you're leaving tomorrow morning..unless you don't like the idea, I can just go home." She pulled away from Nick.

    He grabbed her arm. "I like the idea." He kissed her lightly. "Where are we going."

    "My place." Vanessa bought a house, she planned on moving out as soon as she graduated. "But no funny business Mr. Carter."

    "I wouldn't dream of it." They walked to his car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~June 23, 2001~

    Julie stared at Vanessa. She felt so bad about the way she used to treat her daughter. Why had she let the hate blind her. What happened wasn't Vanessa's fault. There were times when Julie was so close to telling Vanessa what happened, but fear took over her.

    "Ok, mom. I'll call you when I get there. Don't worry about me, I'll probably be back until sometime after 12."

    "Be careful, don't drink and drive."

    Vanessa turned to Julie. "I don't drink ma."

    "And don't feel pressured to do so."

    "I know"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The music was loud, Josh's house was even more crowded that her's had been on her party.

    "You having a good time?" Josh yelled.

    "Yeah."

    "Doesn't look like it."

    "I'm just a little thirsty, but I can't get through this crowd." Vanessa got close to his ear. She didn't want to yell. Her voice needed to be intact when she started recording for her next CD.

    "I'll get you something." He left and came back seconds later with a foam cup. "Here."

    "Thanks."  She drank it up quickly.

    "Hello Vanessa." The person standing behind Josh was Lindsay. "Aren't you gonna say hi?"

    "What is she doing here."

    "Lindsay? I met her at your birthday party." Josh explained.

    "Yeah, Vanessa. Thanks to you, Joshy and I are friends."

    "Stay away from me." Vanessa walked away. Why did Lindsay keep intruding in her life?

    Suddenly she felt a little dizzy. It was probably the anger she felt from seeing Lindsay again. She had to sit down on the botto stair. Her head started aching and the room spun faster.

    From the other side of the room Lindsay and Josh stood watching her as the pill started taking effect.

    "It worked." Lindsay mouthed to Josh.

    "Yeah." He responded, not too enthusiastically. He kinda felt bad for what he'd done.

    "After tonight, Nick wont want to know anything about her...and then you can have her, and Nick'll be free for me."

    "I know." He knew it was too late to turn back now. They had to go through with the plan.

    "Your cue to help poor deffensless Vanessa."

    He walked to Vanessa. "You don't look so well."

    Vanessa heard a muffled voice. "Need...home." Was all she could say.

    "You need to lie down." He picked her up and took her to his room. He undressed her and though he wanted her so much, he didn't want it to happen that way. He just called Lindsay and they posed for the digital pictures that were to be sent to Nick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vanessa sang the song almost mechaniclly.

I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted
To your lovin', baby.
To the way I fell
When you're next to me.
I really like it
When you hold me, baby
In your amrs
Is where I need to be.
I'm always in need
Of your sweet, tender touch.
I'm always in need cause I can't get enough.
I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted...so addicted.
I'm so addicted to your body, honey.
To they way it's
Always calling out to me.
I need to feel you
Very often, honey.
I love to touch you
All so constantly.
m always in need
Of your sweet, tender touch.
I'm always in need cause I can't get enough.
That is why
I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted
Toy ou may darling.
It's not my fault
That I'm completely falling.
I'm so addicted...so addicted
I'm so addicted...so addicted

    "Ok, Vanessa...do it again. It's a dance song, put a little more into it this time, don't just go through the motions." Mark said.

    "Yeah okay." Her head was still spinning from the night before. She couln't remembere what happened or who had taken her home. Her cell phone rang, it was Nick. "I need to take this call , it's important." She walked into the hallway. "Hey, love."

    "Don't. I'm just calling to tell you we're DONE!"

    "What?" She heard him click. She tried calling him back, but there was no answer.

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Chapter 17

    For two weeks she tried to talk to Nick, but he refused to do so. Three days ago he sent her an e-mail. attached with pictures of in a compromising situation. She was in bed with another man, whose face couldn't be seen fully.

    "These are fake." She told her two best friends.

    "Thay don't look fake to me." Britney stated.

    Christina sighed. "They look real."

    She tried not to cry. "They can't be. I don't remember don't remember doing ...that."

    Christina's eyes widened. "If you look closely, that kinda looks like Josh...and didn't you say you drank something and after that you started feelinng woozy?"

    She knew where Chris was going with the whole thing. "Josh gave me the drink...he wouldn't do that." She said, almost not believing it.

    Britney shrugged. "He's in love with you, right? I wouldn't doubt it if him an Lindsay planned this whole thing, cause she was there, right? It seems the only objective was to get those pictures to Nick, cause they haven't been in the tabloids.  And why would Nick be a priority? Cause someone wants you to be separated."

    Suddenly it seemed more possible. "How could I be so stupid?... You think you know someone....but it's not gonna stay like this. I've given up on Nick too many times, and this is not one of them.  He's coming to L.A. next week....I'll talk to him and then...every thing'll be fine." She nodded to herself.

~A week later~

    He couldn't stop thinking about her. He still loved her despite what she did. He could only hope that woulld change soon, but it wasn't likely. He thought about her all the time, when he woke, when he slept and all that time in between.

    He walked around the hotel room,l not finding what to do. He needed a distraction and for one desperate moment he thought about calling Lindsay. But that thought dispersed as soon as it had appeared.

    Maybe going to an arcade would do the trick. He didn't even bother checking in the mirror before walking out.

    The elevator opened it's door, inside Vanessa was standing. One look at her and he turned away. Vanessa ran after him.

    "Give it up, V. " He slammed the door in her face.

    "Nick!" She screamed, punding on the door, not caring that she now had an audience. "Please, we need to talk."

    The door opened after a while. "Fine, talk."

    She looked at all the people peeking from their door. "Can we do this privately?" He motioned her to come in. She explained to him what she thought happened.

    "Try another story." He didn't believe her.

    "Nick, honestly. Do you think that if I cheated on you, I'd be okay with having pictures taken?"

    He said nothing.

    "Nick please."

    "If that were true, why isn't Josh in jail for rape?"

    "Because I have no proof. I haven't even talked to him cause I don't want to see him. But Nick, if anything happened between us, I don't remember any of it....You know me better than that Nickolas."

    His hurt wouldn't let him see the truth. "Women are all the same. You always want what you can't have. Leave."

    "God, Nick, when you cheated on me did I treat you like this? No, I pushed it aside."

    "So now you're throwing it back in my face? You can't let go of anything. Get out!" He demanded.

    She left without saying a word. She drove home with tears in her eyes, and anger towards Josh in her head. No, she wouldn't go home. She would find out what really happened once and for all. And if he and Lindsay were in it together, they'd pay.

    She didn't notice the light turned red. A car coming from her left side smashed into her. The wheel and her head collided. Blood splurted out of her forehead. She only felt pain, then nothing as she fell into darkness.

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Chapter 18

    He paced in the waiting room. The doctord hadn't told them anything. So when Julie arrived he was completely ignorant about the fact that Vanessa's life was in danger.

    "Relatives of Vanessa Logan." The doctor called out.

    "I'm her mother." Julie said instanly.  She walked to him. They whispered for a few minutes.
    Nick and Jennifer were eager to know what was going on. When Julie walked towards them with a somber look on her face, they knew something was wrong.

    "She's in a coma." Julie said, now crying. "They don't know if she'll wake up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    She woke to the dark skies of New York. It was unusual for her to wake up before the sun rose, but she hadn't had a good night's sleep. She was tossing and turning all night.

    She turned on the TV. The first thing she saw was some cartoon. She flipped the chanel hoping to find something interesting for her to watch. She finally left it  on the local news, where she heard the story.

    "Our top story this morning has been the accident of Vanessa Logan. Somtime around 7 o'clock yesterday evening, the singer was involved in a car accident. No word on her condition... I sure hope she's ok." She turned to her tv partner.

    "On to other news--"

    Christina turned the TV off.  She couldn't believe what she heard. Instinctively she called Vanessa's home, when there was no answer she called her cell phone, she got her voicemail. Next she tried calling Britney, who was in L.A. Surely she should know something about her friend.

    "Hello." It was obvious Britney had been woken up.

    "Do you know what happened to Vanessa?"

    "What are you talking about?"

    "She was in some kind of accident."

    That news gave Britney a jump start. "What? Where? When? Tell me?"

    With a shaky voice she explained what she had seen on the local news. "But I don't know how she is. I'm catching the next flight out there. "

    "I'm gonna try calling Nick and find out what hospital they're at. Call me, ok?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Britney walked in and spotted Nick. "How are you doing?"

    "Horrible." He ran his hand through his hair. "It's my fault."

    She heard the story when she first called him. "No, things just happen."

    Then Josh entered the waiting room. "I heard what happened."

    When Nick saw him he found someone knew to blame. " It's your fault! Leave!"

    "I came to talk to you about some pictures...." He looked at Britney as if waiting for her to leave Nick and him alone.

    "What about the pictures."

    He saw she wasn't going to leave. "Nothing happened between us. Lindsay planned the whole thing." That had been eating at his conscience and now he had to tell the truth.

    "I knew it!" Britney exclaimed.

    Nick stood from where he was sitting. "You two are sick, and you're lucky I don't press charges. I don't want this to become even more of a media circus than it already is. ..Leave."

    Josh left without saying a word.

    Nick felt more horrible now than he did before. Vanessa had been telling the truth. Why didn't I stop you, V?

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Chapter 19

(Few Weeks Later)

    He walked down the hallways, screams of pain in his hears. Were they in his mind or were they of the patient's, he didn't know? Nonetheless, the screams were bewing drowned out by his heart beat, which grew louder the closer he got to Vanessa's room. He hated seeing her in her state. Her bruises had somwhat healed, but she was immobile and  as pale as death.

    Guilt ate him up inside, turning his heart weak. If he had only given her a chance, if he had believed her in the first place. The what if's swirled in his mind, never finding an escape.

    There was already a chair beside her bed....He sat slowly, all the while staring at her. With his mind he begged her to wake up, to look up at him or speak his name, but she didn't. "Vanessa, if not for me, then for your family, your fans!" He said aloud. He stared at her hoping his words had moved her. "I'm sorry." He whimpered the apology. Those were words he'd said a lot the past few weeks. "I'm so sorry V...I know I tell you that a lot, but it's just so that you'll believe me." He paused his monologue for a moment. "Wake up please. Please, Vanessa..you can't stay like this forever." She looked like sleeping beauty. "Would a kiss wake you up?" He didn't wait for the answer that would never come. He pressed his lips on her and for a moment he felt her respond. He pulled away expecting to see her eyes open. He had only imangined her response. "What do I have to do in order for you to wake up. I know it's my fault you're here, but don't punish me like this? Open your damn eyes!" He yelled in frustration. He sat again, hanging his head down to cry. "I'm so sorry."

    "Nick." The voice was almost inaudible.

    Nick's head quickly turned to Vanessa. There was no change in her. "God, I'm going crazy!"  He didn't take his eyes off her.

    "Nick." She said in a dream-like state.

    This time he had seen her lips move. He grabbed her hand. "I'm here, Vanessa."

    She squeezed his hand. It was so hard for her to open her eyes but she finally did and the first thing she saw was Nick's face. She smiled with a little trouble.

    "I'll be back, V" Nick ran out of the room to find her Dr.

    Vanessa didn't get a thourough explanation from Dr. Paez. He had only told her she was in an accident and as a result she's slipped into a come. Vanessa didn't even know what day it was.

    The good Doctor performed the routine tests on Vanessa. He checked her hearing and her eyesight. He asked her questions to make sure there was no memory loss or no brain damage. Everything seemed ok until he got to the now cliche tapping of the knee, Vanessa didn't respond.

    She didn't notice anything was wrong for the whole time she was staring at Nick , who was there by her request. She did however get the impression something wasn't quite right when Dr. Paez asked Nick to follow him out of the room

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "What does this mean?" Nick asked anxiously.

    "Sometimes a coma patient may experience some numbness on account they haven't used their limbs. It goes away after a few hours, but in her case...with what her x-rays show, it might be permanent. The are a few procedures though."

    "So she will be able to walk again."

    "Possibly yes. But with the surgical procedures come consequences. There's a chance she can go back into another coma, be fully paralized, or even die."

    He couldn't hear anymore. He left the Doctor in the hallway and went back to Vanessa. He found her on the floor, squirming, trying to stand.

    "Something's wrong Nick...I couldn't feel my legs...and I can't walk." She was almost hysterical. "I can't walk."

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Chapter 20

    One week.....two weeks...three weeks went by. Three weeks in which she had been debating whether or not she should go through with the operation. The risk wighed heavy, but in the end she chose to get the procedure done.

    "Are you sure?" Nick asked her.

    She nodded. "I'll take the chance..I just want to walk again, skip, dance...all those thing I took for granted."

    He was worried he couldn't hide it. "It's my fault you're here in the first place."

    Vanessa caressed his arm. "Things happen. You can't blame yourself."

    Nick kissed her forhead. "I love you."

    "I love you too." She smiled up at him.

~A few days later~

    He watched her struggle as she put one leg in front of the other. This was her first time walking without any help from a cane or walker. They cheered as she continued to make progress.

    "You can do it sweetie." Julie encouraged.

    "Yeah babe." Nick did the same as Julie.

    It was a litte embarrassing to have an audience, but at least it was the people she loved...She took one last step and at last reached her destination. "I did it! I walked!" She said.

    "That's my girl." It was amazing how close Julie had gotten to Jennifer. She wished Jen could be there to see Vanessa walk, but she had gone back to teaching.

    Nick ran to V, and hugged her. "How about we all go out an celebrate?"

    Julie shook her head. "No, no! You two go out and have fun."

    "Mom!"

    "I'm too tired, running around with David isn't exactly easy." But the thing is Julie was tired all the time and that really worried Vanessa.

~Later That Day~

    Vanessa should be used to it by now, but Nick's stare was making her a bit uneasy. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

    He smirked. "Because you're gorgeous."

    "Yeah? Well, you're sextra sey tonight."

    He laughed. "Sextra? What does that mean?"

    She smiled, "It's a sexy kinda extra." She laughed at herself for being so silly. "I'm crazy aren't I?"

    Nick nodded, "But I love you anyway."

    She smiled again. She didn't want her happiness to end, but she was scared. Everytime it seemed her life was perfect, something came along to ruin it. Could this time be an exception?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Nick walked her to the door. She was finally able to move into the house she had bought months ago.

    She wanted to tell him something, but couldn't. She didn't have the courage to, though she was sure he wouldn't resist.

    "Something on your mind?" He noticed her distraction.

    She hesitated for a moment. "Actually yeah...I've....I've been wanting to." She stopped. "I want you to be....God! I don't know why this is so difficlut."

    "What ever you want to aske me, you know you can count one me."

    She was positive of that. "Al right. I want you to be my first Nick. I'm sure we both assumed you would, but we've never discussed it, and I want you so much.

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Chapter 21

    Vanessa woke up wrapped in Nick's arms. The touch of him made her smile. His skin felt soft against her skin. She turned her head to face him, he was sound asleep.

    She slowly got up and dressed. He woke when he didn't feel her next to him. "What are you doing?" He asked groggily.

    "I don't know...I think I'm gonna go to my mom's house, check up on her. I have this feeling."

    He stood. "Want me to go with you."

    She nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Vanessa turned the key and opened the door quietly. She stepped in with Nick following. The walked carefully, it was still early and they didn't want to wake Julie.

    "What kinda feeling did you have?"

    She shook her head. "I don't know, I just feel...I don't know...why is the TV on?" Was Julie awake already? "Mom!"

    "Jewels?" Nick called out. No one answered.

    "I'm going up to her room." Vanessa ran upstairs, but Julie wasn't in her room. "Nick she's not there." She was about to cry.

    Nick pulled her to him. "Don't worry. We'll call the police or something." Nick pressed the page button on the phone. "It's in the kitchen." When he entered the kitchen he saw Julie lying there.

(Hours later)

    "Brain tumor?" Nick repeated what Vanessa had just finished telling him.

    They say they'er gonna try to shrink it with chemo,but the Dr. says the might have to under the knife." She felt so....so...it was like she got out of one problem just to get into another.

~Weeks Later~

    Vanessa wanted to see Julie before she went into the OR.

    "Vanessa, I need to tell you something. Something you should know, in case I don't make it."

    Vanessa grabbed Julie's hand. "Don't talk like that mom."

    "You need to know the truth." It was about time Vanessa knew the secret. It had been kept in the dark for too long.

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Chapter 22

    Vanessa stared at Julie. It seemed she was lost in her thought. Vanessa wondered for a moment if Julie was talking about the hysterectomy. She was inclined to tell Julie she already knew about that.

    Julie came back to the present. "I'm sure you remember how I treated you. ...I was horrible, but it's time I told you why."

    So this was about the hysterectomy. "Mom, listen--"

    Julie interrupted her. "When I was in high school, I was friends with Jennifer and your dad... I was in love with Oscar but I didn't let him know.  See, Jennifer and Oscar were, well, and item. At first I was ok with it. I handled it pretty well, but later...he became almost like an obsession. I couldn't stop thinking about him, so I schemed...I slept with him and I got pregnant on purpose...it only took one time." She said that last part to herself. "Jen, she was obviously upset, she moved with her father to Sacramento and Oscar, he was mine. I had succeeded...Then I gave birth...there were complications."

    Vanessa hung her head. "I know." She said softly.

    Julie continued. "What you don't know is that I gave birth in December 1982, to a dead baby boy."

    "What?" Vanessa almost yelled the question.

    Julie went on as if she hadn't heard Vanessa's outburst. "I never even got to hold him." Tears streamed from Julies face. "Two months after that...Oscar got a letter from Jennifer. It turned out she was pregnant too, and for 9 months she debated on whether or not to tell him. When he found out he ran to her side. Leaving school for a few weeks, all for her....You had a complicated birth too.

    "I'm Jennifer's daughter?"

    Julie nodded. "He brought you back with him because your grandfather from, Jen's side. wanted to give you up for adoption. He didn't want that and so, for 3 years of your life you lived with him and your grandparents. After graduation we got married, against my parent's wishes...I hated you, partly because you had surivied and my son hadn't and partly because you looked so much like Jennifer. Though you probably didn't notice, since she wears contacts and dies her hair...she does it so you wont see the resemblance, but some how it's still there...I knew every time  oscar looked at you he'd see Jennifer, and I just filled up with resentment. But now I know I was wrong...I just hope you can forgive me."

    Vanessa hugged Julie, both crying. "I did, a long time ago."

    The nurse walked in. "Time to prep the patient."

    "My cue to leave." Vanessa walked and stopped at the door to look back to Julie. "You'll make it." She said confindently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jennifer saw Vanessa headed their way. Her face read and wet with tears.

    Nick quickly got up and went to her. "What's wrong, V?"

    She didn't answer, just sat next to Jennifer.

    "Ness, is something wrong with Julie.?" Jennifer's voice was almost a whisper.

    "No....mom."

    Vanessa had called her mom before, but this time it made her shiver. "Why are you crying?"

    "Because...I know...you're my mom...my real mom."

    Nick heard the words, but wasn't sure if he'd heard right. "Did you say real mom?"

    Jennifer sucked in air. "She told you."

    Feeling a little awkward Nick stood. "I think I'll give you some privacy."

    "Thanks, K." He kissed her forhead. "I can't believe this...I never even suspected."

    "I'm sorry I gave you away...I didn't want to but...it seemed like the only  choice and it didn't seem like a wrong one. I gave you to your father...I'm sorry." Her voice was shaky.

    Vanessa hugged her unexpectedly. "I understand."

    Then the only sounds to be heard by them were their own sobs.

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Chapter 23

~Weeks later~

    Nick sat a chair he placed in front of her. "So, how's Julie feeling now."

    "Much better. She's up and about now."

    "And you...I can't believe Jennifer is your real mom."

    She held off a laugh. "It's all so strange...We hit it off from the moment we met. When my dad married her I was so happy...do you think deep down I knew?"

    "Maybe...besides that are you okay? You seemed a littel depressed."

    She shook her head. "I don't know...I'm sad cause all these things are happening and I feel like I'm never gonna get back into this music thing. I don't mind taking care of Julie, but I miss my fans, I miss singing...I miss being on stage."

(Feb. 2003)

    Britney shrugged. "I was just playin' round"

    Vanessa hadn't been feeling too well for the past couple of months. And there was Britney making light. "You shouldn't play around like that...you know very well I can't get pregnant."

    "Geez..sorry... I forgot that was a sensative spot for you." She gave Vanessa a small hug. "Gotta go, but I'll call you later on tonight."

    The more she thought about it, the more it seemed possible. But no, she couldn't get caught up in that notion. It was impossible...the Dr. had told her she needed a treatment before she could concieve...but then again the symptoms were similar to those of a pregnant woman.

    She decided to find out for sure, so she sent the maid off to the local drug store.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Ok, Vanessa don't get your hopes up..." She waited for the results. "This is rediculous...it's gonna be negative and that's the way it's supposed to be. I'm too young and I'm...and I'm talking to myself...isn't that a sign of insanity?" The minute passed and she couldn't look, but she had too. 'Positive?" She took a ddeep breath. "It's a mistake."

    Five tests later Vanessa was finally convinced she was actually pregnant. It was rather confusing. "Things happen for a reason." She told herself. The confusion lingered for a while then the anticipation of Nick's rection. Would he be happy, angry..or...who knows."

~A Few Days later~
   
    She held off telling Nick and she wouldn't tell anyone else, she wanted him to know first. It didn't seem like the right thing to do over the phone. In 3 days she'd get her chance.

    She looked at the clock, it was almost ten o'clock and she had promised to take care of David while Jennifer worked on correcting the test. She had tried all day, but David just wouldn't let her...David...she'd never had siblings before...and now he wasn't her half brother...he was her real brother, not that before she looked at him otherwise.

    She grabbed her purse and her notebook filled with songs. She had recorded most of the ones she'd written and she would choose which would go on the album.

    The phone rang. "Great timming Brit." She answered.

    "What?"

    "You again, what do you want this time?" Lindsay had been calling her almost non-stop and telling her stories of thing that supposedly she'd been doing with Nick. "Did you just finish giving Nick a blow job? Oh...no...you couldn't have because he's in Europe and your not."

    "Fine, don't believe me...but those things did happen. I'm just calling to ask to please don't bother us when Nick dumps you, because he will, he told me so himself. I mean, there's nothing keeping him with you."

    "Oh and what about the baby." What had she just done. Stupid Vanessa, what did I do?

    Baby? What baby? It took her by surprise but she quickly regained her composure. "Well, Nick said he'd be there for the baby, but he wants nothing to do with you."

    Vanessa smirked. "Really? He told you that?..he must be psychic cause I haven't told him..and don't say maybe someone else did cause as of now, no one knows except me or you...well nice chatting with you, but I have to get going. One last piece of advice. Get some help Lindsay. You need it."

    Lindsay heard the click.

    "Damn, I put my big foot in my big mouth." She scolded herself.

    Josh looked up at her from the sofa. "She's pregnant."

    "Appearantly, but Nick doesn't know and that gives me an idea. We don't have much time, he comes in 3 days."

    "What are you planning to do?"

    Lindsay grinned. "Well, if he finds out she's pregnant, he'll probably marry her. But...no baby...no wedding."

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Chapter 24

    Lindsay's eyes glistened with her sense of brilliance. "There's gonna be no baby."

    "I get that, but what excatly is it that you're gonna do?" Josh sounded a little frustrated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    She was forgetting something, she knew that. But she didn't know what. She looked around the living room, hoping something would seem familiar. "I guess it's nothing."

    She grabbed her purse and left the house. She got in her car and drove away.

    The street, at that time at night, were isolated and a little creepy. She was being paranoid. Her instincts were telling her to turn around and head back home. The feeling crept inside her and that's when she noticed the headlights behing her. "It's just a car."

    A car that was following her.

    "What do we do?" The bearded man aske the bald man. "She's not stopping. Miss Colley said we needed to get her tonight."

    The bald man shrugged. "I don't Joe, but we better think of something."

    Lindsay had threatened her bodyguards. She'd fire them if the didn't take Vanessa to her. Not that it would matter, but she also added to accuse them of trying to rape her. They couldn't take that chance, they both had families to support.

    Vanessa turned a corner. If they wanted to get her, they needed to do something quick.

    "That's it." Joe accelerated.

    Vanessa was suddenly relieving what happened to her the year before. "Not again." She said as her body bounced inside the car. "Don't let anything happen to my baby."

    Nothing really happened. It was just a slight tap from the other car. They didn't want to hurt her...or the baby. The baby was an essential part of Lindsay's plan.

    Vanessa realized it wasn't a full on crash. She sighed with relief. "Thank you." She got out of the car to see the extent of the damage.

    "We're sorry." Joe apologized. "Hey aren't you that singer?" He asked as if he didn't know who he was following.

    That was enough to distract her while Luis, the other man, grabbed her by the waist. She wriggled at his touch, but he was too strong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    She was blindfolded the whole ride. She felt when the car stopped.

    They walked her into a house. Then the blindfold was taken off. "Lindsay? Josh?"

    They were standing side by side.

    Lindsay grinned. "Take her into the basement." She ordered her bodyguards.

    They did as she said.

    Vanessa struggled even more as they dragged her down the stairs.

    Lindsay and Josh followed behind.

    Vanessa was tied to a chair. "This is crazy Lindsay! Do you really think you're gonna get away with thi?"

    She acted like she hadn't heard Vanessa. "How far along are you?"

    Vanessa didn't answer.

    "You don't want anything to happen to your baby, do you?"

    "Two months."

    It was perfect...Little Nick would be so devastated when he'd find Vanessa disappeared, but she'd be there to comfort him. One thing would lead to another and he'd be hers. Even if she herself didn't get pregnant, she had Vanessa's baby. She'd have to say it was premature, but if he ever wanted a DNA test, there'd be no problem.

    "Lindsay, that's insane. It'll never work. You can't keep me here for 7 months. You'll get caught." Vanessa pleaded. "Please, if you let me go, I wont say anything. I promise."

    Josh wacthed them. He was confused. He didn't like what Lindsay was doing to Vanessa, but this way, she wasn't with Nick.

    "Of course I can keep you here. After the baby's born I'll send you off to some foreign country with Josh and you to will live happily ever after."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jennifer opened the door and was a little dissapointed to see it was only Mark.

    "I came as soon as I got your message. What's wrong?"

    Jennifer could barely speak. "She...called me an hour ago...she was supposed to be here and she's not...I called the house and cell phone...I can get ahold of her."

    "Calm down..."

    There was another knock at the door.

    "It's her." Jennifer ran to open it. Her heart sank again when she saw a police officer. Then she realized something must be wrong. "May I help you?"

    "Are you realated to Vanessa Logan?"

    "Yes."

    "We found her car in the middle of the street a few block back. Her purse and wallet were there, it's where we got this address from."

    Jennifer was now frantic. "Is she in the hospital?"

    "The car was empty except for a few of her belongings. This could be a possible kidnapping."

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Chapter 25

    Nick arrived early in the morning. He entered the house, everyone, it seemed, was waiting for him. Julie, Deb, and Jennifer were crying. Mark was staring at the window. Through out the years he had come to see her as a daughter.

    "Any news?" Was the first thing he asked.

    "No." Everyone responded at once.

    Mark stood in the middle of the living room. "I think we need to have a press conference."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Jennifer stood in front of the podium. "So, please, if you saw or see anything please contact us." She didn't know where she had gotten the strength not to cry.

    After the conference, the media hadn't gotten enough. The reporters rushed to them and asked a barrage of questions. None of which were answered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Later that day~

    Once again they stood in the living room.

    "Shouldn't we be getting some sort of ransom note or a call or something?" Julie asked, but no one answered.

    "I can't take this..I..." Jennifer stared crying again. "It's all too much to take in."

    "What if they don't want money. What if it was a stalker...he's probably taken her somewhere where no one can find her." Julie expressed her thoughts out loud.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Joe and Luis lugged the bed down the basement stairs.

    "See how nice I'm being?" Lindsay diverted her attention to the bodyguards. "But it over there." She pointed to the far end corner then turned back to Vanessa. "It's so that you can be more comfortable. The baby needs to be taken care of, we can't have anything go wrong."

    "You're fucking psycho Lindsay." Vanessa spat out the words.

    Lindsay did not hide her anger. "I'm a fucking psycho? No...I don't think so...no..I'm just taking back what a little slut-whore took away from me."

    Vanessa took a deep breath. "You really think your plan is gonna work don't you? Nick wont sleep you...because he loves me...me."

    Lindsay could not control herself, before she knew it, her hand had crossed Vanessa's face.

    "Lindsay!" Josh yelled her name in protest. "You promised me no violence."

    She looked at Josh. "I have places to be."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A knock on the door distracted them all for one second.

    When Mark opened it, Lindsay was standing there.

    Jennifer walk up behind Mark. "What do you want?"

    Time to put on the act. "I heard about what happened. It's all over the news...I know that Vanessa and I weren't exactly friends, but I came to offer my help."

    Jennifer looked at her with distaste. She was only there to look good in front of Nick. Mark stepped aside to let Jen in front. "We don't need help, but thank you."

    No, this was not an acceptable response. "Listen, I understand that you don't want my help, but...my sister was kidnapped when she was 12 and we hired a private detective....he found her in 2 weeks...I sympathize...that's why I want to help." She looked over Jennifer's shoulder and saw Nick staring absentmindedly at a picture of Vanessa hanging on the wall.

    Mark turned to Jennifer. "It would wise to take all the help we can get."

    "Fine." Jennifer reluctantly accepted.

    "Thank you." Now she could be part of the investigation...and mislead it....and be close to Nick.

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Chapter 26

(3 Months Later)

    "Three months and nothing! No one knows anything, how can that be?" Nick asked angrliy.

    "Yeah, three months and nothing." All her attemps hadn't worked. She conforted him, she'd stay with him all day, and still nothing had happened between them. Her plan could have worked perfectly if she had been able to seduce Nick.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Lindsay rushed to her house, Josh was already wating for her when she arrived.

    "Change of plans." She told him. The door opened and Lindsay was surprised to see her father walk in. He was supposed to be gone for the rest of the year.  "Daddy? What are you doing here, I though you'd stay in England until the opening of the Hotel."

    He took one look at Josh and the answered Lindsay. "There was a problem with your sister again...who's this youn man?"

    "That's Josh, my boyfriend."

    Josh stood ans shook his hand. "Nice to meet you sir..well, I was just going. See you later Lindsay."

    After the incident in New York...I didn't think it would happen here."

    Jill, her sister ahd never been the same after her kidnapping. She had been in a psychiatric hospital. "She stabbed another nurse."

    Ron nodded. "With a siring. I have to find some place else to put her in."

    "Why don't you just hire a private nurse and leave her here with me...I think she does that because she needs to be home." Jill was her only weak spot.

    "I think that's a good idea...I bring her home tomorrow and I'll start looking for a nurse." He went to the stairs.

    "Oh, daddy...by the way, don't go into the basement, not that you would...there's a leak in there...the repair man need some special part and it'll be 2 weeks before he comes."

    "Thanks sweety."

~Next Day, Josh's apartment~

    "Don't worry about my dad, he wont go in there....but on to more important stuff...I need to get rid of Vanessa."

    Josh's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "Are you going to kill her?"

    "No you idiot...I don't know what to do." She sat next to him. "I don't want her to have the baby with her because she'll always have a part of Nick and I don't want that....I want her to suffer and have no reminder of him."

    "What are you gonna do?"

    "Ok, we'll keep the old plan. After the baby's born you'll go off somewhere with her, and I'll put the baby off for adoption."

~Lindsay's house~

    Before he closed the door, he looked at his daughter with tenderness. The nurse was feeding her and she looked as calm as she'd ever been. Lindsay was right, she needed to be with her family. He'd make a point to spend more time with his daughters, after he returned from England, he was going back in 2 days.

    If Lindsay hadn't told him anything about the basement, he wouldn't have thought about it. But now he was curious about how much the damage would cost him. So when he opened the door he almost fell from the shock from what he was seeing...a young girl tied to a bed. "Who are you?" He took of her gag.

    "Help me get away from her!" Vanessa pleaded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Lindsay saw the open door and immideatly ran inside. "Daddy! Don't untie her!"

    Ron stopped and faced his daughter. "She told me everything Lin...you're crazy...you need help."

    "Help? You mean you're gonna lock me up in a mental hospital like Jill? You got rid of her and now you're gonna throw me away too?"

    Ron grabbed Lindsay and walked towards the doorm, but before he reached it he turned to Vanessa. "I wont leave you, I'll be back."

    Lindsay tried to get away from him. "What are you doing daddy?"

    "Calling the police."

    Vanessa heard. Her time in hell would soon be over.

    "No daddy..please...she's evil....she needs to be stopped...I'm doing a good thing."

    He reached the phone but dropped it. A strong pain went from his heart to his left arm. He fell to the floor and Lindsay just watched...When he stopped moving she called 9-1-1 then closed the basement door.

    Jill's nurse heard the comotion and tired to revive Ron, but she couldn't. The paramedics came and Lindsay went with them. He was declared dead a few minutes afte they'd arrive at the hospital.

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Chapter 27

(2 months later: July 2002)

    He rubbed his eyes and pushed the loose hair off of his face. "I can't take this anymore..."

    That's it Nick, lose hope. "You can't give up Nick....my men have a strong lead." A fake one... "They'll find her."

    When Lindsay told him she'd change, he didn't believe her. But she had stuck by him this whole time. She was showing that indeed she had changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Josh had the spoon right in front of her mouth but she turned away. "You have to eat Ness."

    "No, I'm not hungry."

    "Vanessa, eat...for the baby."

    She opened her mouth and reluctantly swallowed the soup. "Josh..." He looked up at her. "If you love me like you say you do, why do you keep me here?"

    "Because if you weren't here, you'd be with Nick..and he doesn't love you like I do."

    He was her only way out. The so called love he had for her was his weakness...if she made nice-nice with him, maybe she could escape. "Thank you."

    "For what?"

    "All this time...you haven't tried to force yourself on me...thanks." She smiled sweetly. "Owwww."

    Lindsay walked in. "What's wrong?"

    "I think she'd having contractions." Josh said.

    "No." She shook her head. "It's too early...probably...just Braxton Hicks contractions."

    Josh bit his lips. His eyes darted from Vanessa to Lindsay, then back to Vanessa again. "I don't think so...your water just broke."

    "I'll call Dr. O'Leary." Lindsay said calmly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "One more push." Dr. O'leary was sweating.

    Vanessa did as he said. It was so painful she almost passed out.

    "It's a boy." He handed the baby to the nurse with a worried expression on his face.

    "Why isn't the baby crying?" She asked frantically. She then saw the nurse take carry the baby up the stairs. "Where are you taking Adam?..my baby...I want him." She cried like her mother had years before.

    "What's wrong Dr.?" Lindsay asked over her medical mask.

    "What's going on?" Vanessa asked again.

    O'Leary ignored Lindsay and his attention went back to Vanessa. "Don't worry about that. Now, give me one more push."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The whispers were coming from the blurry shapes in front of her.

    "O'Leary...you take care of the arrangements. I'm paying you a lot of money...don't screw this up."

    Vanessa opened her eyes fully. "Where's my baby?"

    Lindsay turned to O'Leary. "Tell her what happened, I have some things to do." She walked away.

    "How are you feeling Vanessa?" He asked her.

    "Where's Adam?"

    "Adam...what a nice name."

    "Where is my son?"

    "He...he was stillborn."

    The words settled in and she cried. She made not a sound, no yelling, no screaming...her cry was silent.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(5 days later)

    Lindsay was annoyed at Josh. "I don't care how she is...fuck, I don't need you to tell me she's depressed...coming in here every 5 minutes."

    He didn't say anything. Instead he left Lindsay in the living room and went back to Vanessa. "Hey are you feeling better?"

    She shrugged. "I don't know." The only thing keeping her alive was the hopes of seeing Nick again. They heard the front door slam shut. This was her chance to sweet talk Josh. "You look nice today."

    He brightened up. "Really? You do too."

    "Thank you." She rolled her back, closed her eyes and gave a sigh.

    "Something wrong?"

    "No...I need to tell you something, but..."

    "Just tell me."

    She took a deep breath. "I think I'm starting to..." She couldn't say it. Come on Vanessa, you can do it, you have to if you want to get out of here. "I think I'm starting to fall in love with you."

    He stared at her for a long while before saying anything. "I knew it...I knew someday you'd see."

    I did it. He believed me. Thank you God...he believed me. "Josh, I want us to be together, but not like this. Let me leave."

    He shook his head. "No, I can't let you do that."

    "No, you didn't understand me....let me leave with you...we can runaway together...to a place where Lindsay wont ever find us."

    "Together? Ok...we'll leave together." His leaned in to kiss her and it took all her strength not to pull away. "When Lindsay comes, I'll go home and pack and tomorrow we'll leave."

    "I love you." She forced herself one last time to say something that brought her total disgust...Now, all she needed was a plan to get away from Josh once they were far from Lindsay's house.

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Chapter 28

    "I can't believe they want to close the case! Can they do that?"

    "I don't Nick." Jennifer told him.

    Lindsay joined in their conversation. "Maybe their theory is right."

    With no trace, with no leads, without anything some of the investegators believed Vanessa planned her own disappearance. "She wouldn't do something like that."  Julie was quick to defend Vanessa.

    "Well, think about it...a randsome note was never sent." Lindsay said. She was quiet for a second before continuing. "You know....I remember having a conversation with her a few days before she dissapeared...she told me she was pregnant...maybe she went away to have the baby."

    Nick fiercly shook his head. "She couldn't have been pregnant."

    Jennifer finished the explanation. "She isn't able to concieve."

    Lindsay was a confused. Vanessa could concieve. Had she lied to them?  Maybe it was all a plan to keep Nick by her side. "She didn't sound like she was lying."

    "Ok." Nick gave a hypothetical. "Let's say she was pregnant...she would have told me."

    She shrugged. "Maybe it wasn't yours."

    Jennifer quickly stood from where she was sitting. "How dare you?!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Josh hurridly undid the knots and helped Vanessa stand, she was still a little weak. He handed her some clothes and a wig. "Here, put these on."

    While Vanessa changed, Josh waited outside. He recieved a call from Lindsay, who was headed home early beacuse she had gotten into an argument with Vanessa's family. "Are you almost done?" He whispered from behind the door. "Lindsay's on her way."

    Vanessa's heart almost stopped, but she didn't give up hope. As soon as she stepped out Josh grabbed her and pulled her toward the front door. They needed to get away before Lindsay arrived. They stopped when a young blonde girl was heading down the stairs. Vanessa figured it was Lindsay's sister, she'd heard Lin talk about her.

    They hid beside the staircase and watched Jill. She must be looking for her bigh sister. At least Vanessa assumed that Lindsay was older....Jill was wearing nice clothes, her hair hung in front of her face. But why was she alone, didn't she have a nurse? Then Vanessa noticed something chilling. The teddybear she was holding was stained with blood. They're both crazy, Vanessa thought.

    Both Vanessa and Josh heard a car pull in. "It must be Lindsay." She whispered to herself.

    "We're going through the back." He pulled her in the opposite direction from which they were originally headed.

    Lindsay entered the house and found her sister wandering around in the Living room. She bid the bodygaurds that followed her to take Jill back to her room "I'm gonna fire that nurse." She too, at that time, noticed the blood stained teddy. "Great." She said, knowing exactly what Jill had done. Now she not only have to cover her own crimes, but her sister's too.

    But she would deal with that later. Her first priority was to get Vanessa out of the country. When she got to the basement it was empty. Not Josh nor Vanessa were in there. "That traitor." She ran out back to the living room. She was startled by the sound of an engine. "That has to be them." She called back her bodygaurds and told them to go after Josh...they could catch them if they went fast enough. If they got away...she'd be in big trouble.

    "Lindsay bad...like nurse." Jill said from the top of the stairs.

    "What? Shut up Jill...I need to think." Linsdsay saw Jill descend the stairs with  scissors in her hand. "No Jill, put those down."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Josh saw Lindsay's bodygaurds behing them. "They're following us." He told Vanessa. "I'll try to loose them." He sped up.

    Though he had helped Lindsay in kidnapping her, he was not helping her get away and she was grateful for that. "If you go at this speed..."

    He knew what she meant. At this speed he was going, a cop's attention would soon be  caught. "I don't care...I'm willing to pay for what I've done." He looked at her quickly.  "I'll slow down so you can jump out of the car."

    "Jump out?"

    "I can't stop."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    As surely as Vanessa had predicted, the cops were soon behind the two car's trail.  "We're done for." Luis said to Joe.

    "What do we do?" Joe asked panicky.

    Luis was busy looking at the other man and didn't noticed that Josh had stopped the car.  He smashed into the back and their car flipped.

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Chapter 29

(Next Day)

    Nick watched her as she slept. He couldn't stop staring at her. It felt so good to have her back. He felt so stupid to believe Lindsay was trying to help him, when in reality she was the one who had Vanessa all along. But now, after so many months, he had her back.

    "I think she's waking up. I'll leave you two alone."

    "Thanks Julie." He'd seen her the day before, when they borught her into the hospital but she was unconscious. "Hey sleepy head." He smiled at her when her eyes opened.

    "Nick!" She said enthusiastically. She hugged him.

    "I've missed you so much." He whispered.

    "Me too."

    He pulled away. "Are you okay...does anything hurt."

    She smiled at him. "I'm fine, just have a little headache."

    "Well, you look horrible." He teased.

    Vanessa laughed lightly. "You would too if you'd been in a car accident." Suddenly the memories of the day before came back. She was too scared to jump out of a moving car so Josh stopped, then she felt a force hit them from behind. "How's Josh."

    "He's in a coma..." Nick said softly.

    "Oh." She was a little taken aback by the news. "How about Lindsay, did they find her?"

    "Yeah..they found her...dead in her house. Her sister stabbed her." Lindsay and Nick had talked about Jill briefly in the beginning of their relatioship. "Jill was very ditraught...she's back in a mental hospital."

    Vanessa shook her head lightly. "I feel sorry for her....and Josh...in the end, he was there to help me...goes to show you...love is so powerful...if you can't handle it, it'll make you go crazy."

    "Yeah." Nick agreed. "Vanessa, I love you."

    "I love you too, Nick. I always have and I always will."

    "Marry me."

    Stunned she asked, "Are you serious?"

    He laughed. "Of course."

    "Yes, I'll marry you...I will." All that was left was to tell him about Adam. "Nick..." She took a deept breath before telling him the whole story. When she finished he let her cry on his shoulder.

    "We can have more kids."

    She wasn't mad at his comment, he was after all only trying to be helpful. "I don't know if we can...I don't if Adam was stillborn because of the situation I was in or because...I'm not fit to carry life in me."

    "Don't say that."

(July 14, 2003; about one year later)

    She sat on the porch steps, watching the cars go by. She couldn't help the tears that streamed down her face. It was exactly a year since Adam was born. She and Nick had spent that whole year looking for Dr. O'Leary. But they had no luck, chances were O'Leary was an alias.

    Nick walked up behind her. "Feeling all right?"

    Vanessa shook her head. "He would have been one today."

    "I know." He sat beside her.

    She cried harder. "I keep thinking about him...I hear him crying for me, Nick. I just want to find..his..." It was hard for her to say. "...his...re...mains...to give him a proper burrial. I need to find him."

    "We'll find him, V....we will."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(6 Days later)

    It would be two more hours before the sun arose. The room flickered with the still lit candles of the night before. Nick slept with his arms wrapped around Vaness. They had decided to move in together to assimilate what married life would be like.

    The phone rang, Nick was the only one to hear it. "Hello." It was the hospital. "Yeah, we can be there at that time." He didn't want to wake up Vanessa, but this was too important.

    "What Nick? ...you woke me up from the most wonderful dream."

    "Josh is awake."

    She bolted. "What are we waiting for, let go...we have to see him."

    He stopped her from getting up. "Their giving him a physical, then the police want to talk to him. We can see him after that."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    They entered Josh's room. The bed was empty. Cops whispered to eachother. Vanessa noticed one officer in particular, sitting in a chair by the corner, holding an ice pack to his head.

    "What happened?" Nick asked a police man.

    "Josh Moore escaped. Before he did that he wrote this note, for a Vanessa. We found it on his bed after he escaped." He looked at her. "I'm assuming you're Vanessa." She nodded. He handed it to her. "I'm not supposed to be doing this because it's evidence, but I think it's important you read it."

    She held the folded piece of paper and just looked at it for a long while.

    "Read it." Nick nugged her.

    "I hope I'm long gone and not in jail by the time you read this...oh, don't worry...I wont come after you. You can be happy with Nick...I realize now how much you love eachother. All of that isn't as important. I know there's something you need to know...about your baby boy. Vanessa, he's not dead. While you were pregnant Lindsay found a couple on the interenet who wanted to adopt. We met them, I posed as her boyfriend...and she...she were pads to make her look pregnant. He's alive and living with those people." There was an adressed scribbled at the bottom. "We have to go Nick. We have to find our son."

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Chapter 30

(One Month Later)

    Vanessa wouldn't let go of Adam, but Jennifer kept insisting. "Give him to me!"

    "No mommy...please just 5 more minutes."

    "Help!" Jennier called out to the other females in the room.

    Julie reached out. "Hand him to me." Vanessa wouldn't bugde. "Ness, sweetie...you're getting married and you don't have  much time to get ready. Hand Adam over."

    She reluctantly handed her son, not to either of her mothers but to Alma. She, along with her husband had taken cae of Adam for a year. It was very difficult for her and her husband to give up Adam, but after a DNA test and court, they had to. "Thank you again. You know, the offer to come live with us is still on."

    "Thank you, but we don't want to be a burden."

    "Well, you know you can visit whenever you want."

    "I know."

    "Ok, ok...we need to get the bride ready." Christina urged on.

    "We know." Jennifer said. "Come on...let the bride's maids prep the bride." The older women left.

    "Finally." Britney luaghed. "By the way, thanks for not making us wear ugly dresses."

    Vanessa smiled, "That' all you care about...isn't it?... you don't care that I'm so nervous and excited and happy..."

    "Let's not get to talking....you need to get ready so you can go down that isle and marry my dorky brother." BJ giggled.

    Once ready, everyone stood in their prespective places. Mark would be walking her down the isle.

    The music started and the ceremony began. Vanessa entered the chapel. One one side of the room were the groom's friends and family, on the other side were the bride's.

    Nick waited for her at the end of the isle. She looked so beautiful it litterally brought tears to Nick's eyes. After everything they had been through they desereved this happy ending, they desereved to be together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The reception took place in their backyard, decorated with white candles, white table cloths. White roses hung from above.

    "Time for the bride and groom to dance." Deborah said.

    Nick and Vanessa walked on to the dance floor and "Close to You" by the Carpenters stared playing. They dance closed, Nick holding on to Vanessa. There couldn't be a more perfect song for them.

    "Get her out of there." Jane said when she saw one of the waitresses on the dance floor. The aiters and waitresses they hired had been doing that all niight, even though they had been told to go around.

    Nick felt the tap on his shoulder and turned around. A dark haired girl stood a front of him. She looked at him and he rcognized her immideatly. "Lindsay?"

    "Oh my God!' Vanessa gasped.

    "You'll pay." Lindsay reached behind and grabbed a gun she had hidden. The security saw this and pulled out their guns. "Put them down or I'll shoot. I swear."

    "Do as she says." Nick oredered.

    Some of the guests ran others hid under the tables.

    "I thought you were dead." Vanessa couldn't believe what was happening.

    "That was my sister...actually to be more accurate, twin sister...she was the only other person I loved beside Nick...and she turned on me...I had to deal with her...and when the police came...I pretended I was Jill and confessed to killing 'Lindsauy." She laughed. "All this time I was in a living hell, but I escaped....to kill you Vanessa...you ruined my life."

    "Don't do it indsay, please." Nick begged.

    A shot was fired, Nick fell to the floor bringing Vanessa down with him. Another shot was fired and Lindsay fell.

    Vanessa looked at Nick, he was bleeding. Please god, don't let anything happen to him. She prayed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Nick was sitting up on the bed. "I'm fine really. It's just a broken arm."

    "When I saw the blood on you...I...I...wanted to die."

    "I guess Lindsay's blood spilled on me...do you know how she is?"

    Vanessa nodded. "She's in the O.R." There was a knock on the door. "Come in."

    Jennifer walked in. "Adam is really fidgetty...the dorctor said it was ok for him to come in."

    "Come to Momma." Vanessa carried him in her arms.

    Mark walked in. "She's dead...to much blood loss...he couldn't take it."

    No one really knew whether to be happy or sad about the news. "Let's leave them alone." Jen and Mark left.

    Nick looked at Vanessa and Adam. "I guess this is the end."

    "No it isn't."

    "What do you mean?"

    Vanessa hugged Nick with one arm and gave him a light kiss on the lips. "We still have the happily ever after part." They both smiled.

    "Yeah I guess you're right...and that's the best part to live."

The End

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