So Have I Lost My
Mind
Written by Jules
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Back
Part 1
“Hey Nick,” Brian said walking into the room.
“Hi. What’s up?” He asked, turning away from his video game
for a moment.
“Not too much right now. Kevin and Gwen are goofing around down
at the pool.”
“Oh.”
“So when is Danni getting here?” He asked, sitting down next to
his best friend.
“Any time now.” Nick replied. “I thought I’d let Billie
pick her up from the airport instead of me since it’s really crazy
outside.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Danielle was one of Nick’s closest cousins. When they were little
they used to do everything together. They shared the same
features. She had long blond hair. Exquisite blue eyes with
green specks in them. Sometimes she wore glasses as well.
They also shared the same traits. They could be scary when they
were around each other. They had been known to terrorize the
others when she went to visit Nick.
“I miss her a lot. I haven’t seen her in six months. I’m so
glad we finally got back this side of the world so she could come out
of the road with us.” Nick said. “I really like
Canada. We even get a few days off finally to be able to look
around.”
“You two better not get any great BC ideas while I’m here.”
Brian and Nick were startled and turned to the open hotel room
door. Danielle was leaning against the doorframe watching them.
“Hi Nick, Church Boy.”
“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Nick said.
“Dumbass..” Brian said.
“Where’s the love,” Danielle cracked up at the look on Brian’s
face. She set her shoulder bag down on the floor as the two men
stood up and walked over to her.
Brian gave her a hug and then it was Nick’s turn. She wrapped her
arms around him as did he, pulling her tight against his chest so his
chin rested on top of her head.
“I missed you Nicky,” she smiled.
“I missed you too,” he said while running his fingers through her
hair. “I’m glad you could come.”
“I would never pass up the opportunity to visit you.”
She took her stuff into his hotel room. When she came out of
Nick’s room Brian was gone.
“Did I scare Bri away?”
“Nah. He thought he’d give us some time alone.”
“You must remind me to thank that boy later then.” Danielle
said. “Can we go get something to eat? I’m starving.”
“Yeah sure.” He answered happily. “Let me just grab my hat
and then I’ll go see if Billie will come with us.”
“Sure.”
They found themselves at a little restaurant in downtown Toronto near
the Sky Dome. It was kind of like a Tavern. They had a lot
of French dishes and marvelous desserts. The best thing was that
everything didn’t cost an arm and a leg. Billie and Tommy sat
down at a table for two a little ways away from Danielle and Nick’s
table. Tommy came too since the rest of the guys were going to
lay low, at least for a couple hours. That way in case something
came up and they got caught by a large group of fans Billie wouldn’t
have to worry as much about keeping both of the Carters safe at the
same time.
Danielle and Nick chatted back and forth as they ate, catching up on
things without too many interruptions. It was mostly the staff
that was going gaga anyway.
“I have to ask though,” Nick said. “Why do you have a patch on
your ass of your pants that says Carter? That’s a great way to
attract attention.”
“It was an inside joke with one of my friends at home. There was
this other girl at work who has the same name, Danielle, and we always
used to get confused when she’d try talking to us. So we went to
this club one night and I love to dance. And these guys that I
know always goof around saying Carter shake yo ass so Tara came up with
the idea somehow. She’s really weird that way. She come up
with crazy ideas all the time.”
“Does Josh still work there too?”
“Nah..” she sighed. “Just as well too because we broke up.”
“That’s too bad. What happened or should I even ask?”
“Things just didn’t work out. I really like someone else.”
“You gonna ask him out?”
“I don’t think I should say anything. He already has a
girlfriend. I don’t even think he’d be interested.”
“That’s too bad. What’s he like? Where’s this guy from?”
“I don’t want to tell you the nitty-gritty stuff... he does live in
Orlando though. I’ll tell you that much.” She said with a
hint of mystery flicker in her eye. “Do you have a girlfriend
right now?”
“No. But according to ET I’ve hooked up with Christina Aguilera a
few times.”
“Such class! Do she give you private performances of Lady
Marmalade in her high fashion lingerie?”
“No. Actually that’s why Jess left. She freaked out from
all of the tabloids floating around.”
“That really sucks. You guys were doing so well though.”
“It would have been a year next month.”
“I’m sorry Sweetie.” She said while patting him on the hand.
“You sound just like my mom when you say that... Stop that!” He
said, getting the goose bumps down his arms.
“Sorry. Your mom’s like my second mom.” Danielle said,
rolling her eyes. “At least I didn’t call you Baby.”
“True.”
“Are we ready to get out of here now? The waitresses keep looking
over at the table. I’m starting to think they like me.” She
chuckled.
“It’s your charm they like,” he said, playing around. He stood up
from the table and then took the tip for the waitress out of his
pocket. Then he set it down on the table.
She got up from the table and then put on her dark brown leather
jacket. “You know, Aaron is getting so big now. I saw him a
few weeks ago. He’s so gonna be as tall as you. It’s
scary. And to think he’s only fourteen.”
“I was talking to her on the phone last night and she thinks he’ll be
taller than me.”
“You never know I guess.”
Billie caught Nick’s attention. He nodded to him that they were
ready to leave. Billie then walked over to them after a few
minutes.
“The car should be outside for us,” he said. “Have a nice dinner
you two?”
“We did,” Danielle smiled. “Did you?”
“Oh yeah. I can never resist having a crepe.” They were the
best deserts at that particular place. It was a piece of pastry
with whipped cream and fresh fruit inside. “Why, if I may ask
though, do you have written Carter on your butt?” He asked as
they walked outside.
”It’s sort of an interesting story actually,” Nick said as they pilled
into the car. “I asked her about that too,” he said looking over
at her.
Back
Part 2
“So what’s this one for?” Brian asked, walking into Nick’s hotel
room with two bags of chips in hand.
“It wouldn’t be fun if I told,” Danielle replied, while closing the
door behind him. “Go on in and sit down around the TV.”
“Well this is just great! I’m the first one,” Danielle could hear
Brian say. “Well gee how are you doing Brian? Oh thanks for
asking. I’m doing just great.”
“Brian. You’re so silly,” Danielle chuckled. Last year when
she went out on the road with the guys she started a tradition that
they would have room parties. And then the other guys did it
too. The one who made the call to each of the group had to tell
them what to bring with them. She heard the secret knock a few
minutes later. She peaked through the peephole and saw AJ smiling
away. Then he tapped on the peephole. She looked away and
then opened the door.
“Toddles.. I was wondering why Nick wanted pop at this hour.”
“Yeah. Come here and give me a hug,” she smiled. She took
the six-pack of Pepsi from him and set it down on the end table by the
door. Then she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a kiss on
the cheek. She laughed as he picked her up off the floor and then
set her back down. “You look so good. How have you
been? Sobriety treating you alright?”
“Loving every minute of it. You look good too.” He said and
then kissed her on the cheek.
“Thank you.”
“Sarah will be sad that she missed you.”
“She was out here a while ago wasn’t she.”
“Yeah. She left about a week ago. She only came out for a
few days.”
“That’s too bad she couldn’t have stayed longer.”
“Yeah I know.” He said. “So where are the others?”
“Brian is in the living room so go on in there and talk to him for
me. He’s going crazy on us.”
“Okay sure.”
No sooner had Danielle shut the door again; there was another secret
knock on the door. She answered the door to find Nick and Howie
that time.
“Come on in guys.” Danielle said. Nick took the beer from
Howie and made his way into the hotel. “How are you doing
Howie?” She asked, while pulling him into a hug.
“Not too bad. It’s nice to see you.”
“Hi. Nice to see you.”
“You too.”
Howie ventured off into the other rooms as she went to close the door
but someone stuck their hand in first.
“Hey, hey. Don’t shut the door on us..” She heard Kevin say with
a deep southern drawl.
“Oh I’m sorry,” she laughed, peaking out in the hall to see Kevin and
Gwen standing there, holding hands.
They all said hi, as they stepped into the hotel room. And the
fifth item of the night was there. Chocolate covered
pretzels. His favorite.
“Come here and give me a hug,” Kevin
said.
She smiled and then she wrapped her arms around him happily. “I’m
glad you came.” Danielle smiled.
“I think it should be me saying that to you,” he said pulling away.
“Oh well. The good thing is that we’re all here.” She said
and then turned to Gwen. “How are you doing Gwen?”
“Good thanks.” She replied. “I’m actually going home
tomorrow.” She said and then looked up at Kevin for a
moment. “At least there will still be a girl around here to keep
everyone looking presentable.”
“Yeah there will be,” Danielle said to her and then looked over at
Kevin and smiled.
They all walked out to the living room and then Danielle stood in front
of the TV, stopping the chatter.
“Okay guys. I’m sure you’re all wondering what we’re all doing
here tonight.” She said, looking around at them all. “What
better way of saying I’m here, than having a movie party. We’ll
get into the other ones some other night because I’m probably gonna
pass out after a while. Cause I’m feeling sort of tired right
now.” She turned to the TV and then popped the first movie in the
VCR. “I brought some good laughs. American Pie 1 and
2. So sit back and relax.”
Danielle grabbed some bowls for the food and everyone had something to
drink. Everyone was having a lot of fun. They had had sort
of an intermission break between movies to take washroom breaks.
While they waited for everyone to get resettled everyone started
talking about anything and everything. Gross stuff the girls
weren’t really interested in hearing about.
They couldn’t help but laugh. Howie, Nick and AJ were sitting on
one of the long couches with Danielle sitting on the floor in front of
AJ who was playing with her hair. Brian was lying on the floor
and Kevin and Gwen were sitting on a chair together.
Danielle kept trying to put her feet on Brian’s butt and sneak her feet
under his t-shirt. He kept pushing them away though. She
always flirted with everyone. It was part of her nature.
Danielle looked over at Kevin after a while. Gwen was kissing
Kevin as they murmured back and forth to one another. She felt a
flicker of jealousy wash over her body. She bit her lip and then
left the room. She went outside and sat on one of the patio
chairs. Within a few minutes she heard the glass door slide open
and then close. She felt a hand no her thigh after someone sat
down next to her. She looked over her shoulder to see Kevin.
“Hey.”
“Hi,” she said, feeling somewhat shy all of a sudden.
“So how are you really doing?”
“Okay.” She said meekly, turning in her seat to look at him
better. “I broke up with him so you should probably ask him that
instead of me.”
“Why’d you break his heart then?” He asked, looking into her eyes
for a hint.
“To put it simply I’m in love with someone else.”
He raised his eyebrows and looked at her seriously. “Those are
some pretty powerful words. What’s the problem then? Why
are you here when you could be telling him that?” He asked
curiously.
“Lets just say he already has a girlfriend.”
“That’s really too bad.”
She bit her lip and nodded her head yes. “He’s actually right-,”
Just then the glass door slid open quickly startling them. They
could hear people talking from inside.
“Guys you missed the end of the damn movie!” AJ exclaimed.
“And Gwen is looking for you Kev.”
“Oh really?” He asked, standing up. He looked away from AJ
and then back at Danni. “What were you trying to say before?”
She sighed and then ran her fingers through her hair before looking
back at him. “Nothing. I was just rambling.”
“You sure?”
She glanced over at AJ quickly who was looking into the room, then
nodded her head at Kevin. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to you later then.”
“I’d like that.”
“Good.” He smiled and then patted her on the shoulder before he
left, passing AJ on his way into the noisy hotel room.
She watched him leave silently. AJ was still standing silently in
the corner of the balcony, staying quiet. He pushed himself away
from the banister and sat down next to her.
“You have lousy timing,” Danielle said, rubbing a few tears that had
formed in her eyes.
“I know. I’m sorry that I interrupt you guys. Just figured
that I’d try and find you before Gwen. She gets a little excited
when she drinks so.”
“Thanks.” She nodded her head knowingly.
He knocked her in the shoulder with his arm. “What were you two
talking about anyway?”
“Nothing much.” She could tell he didn’t believe her by the look
on her face.
“Lonely, even though you’re not alone.”
“Yeah. Sort of,” she agreed. She looked up at him and then
bit her inner lip. “How’d you figure out that?”
“Because you like Kevin.”
“I do not like him, like him,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Who do you spend the most time with when you come to visit Nick when
we’re on the road, other than him?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s okay you know.”
“It wouldn’t be okay if Nick found out though. He might end up
think that the only reason why I wanted to come here was to see Kevin
then.”
“You went out with me for a while.”
“But that was different.”
“How can I be different?” He questioned.
“You just are sweetie..” she laughed, looking at his funny facial
expression.
AJ rolled his eyes at her before he spoke. ”You should ask him if
he would care. If it would weird him out seeing you guys
together.” AJ said.
“I will maybe tomorrow,” she said, moving to sit on his lap. “Do
you think Nick would care?”
“He might. I was different, like you said. I don’t really
know. I’m not him.”
She laid her head down on his shoulder. “I was this close to
telling him before.. Kevin I mean,” she said, using her hands to
emphasize what she was saying.
“And I didn’t want Gwen to run out here and scare the shit out of you
both,” AJ laughed.
They sat outside for a little while later. Then it started to
drizzle.
“Lets go inside.”
“No we have to go out. Is Church Boy still here?”
“He was,” AJ answered.
“Lets all go outside then.”
“We are outside.”
Danielle stood up and took AJ’s hand in hers, tugging at it to make him
stand up. “You, me, Church Boy and Nicky outside in the rain..
come on!”
They ran back into the apartment.
Back
Part 3
Danielle hung out with Nick and Brian for most of the next
day. They had goofed around most of the time, checking out the
city and the different restaurants. Kevin went out with AJ and
Howie for most of the day, well into the evening after Gwen had
left. The two groups hadn’t managed to reconnect at all.
There was a knock at Nick’s hotel room door around midnight. Nick
and Danielle were both watching TV.
“I’ll go see who it is,” Danielle said, getting up from the couch.
“Okay.” Nick said, tossing a chip in his mouth.
She looked at herself for a moment in the mirror by the door and then
put her hair up in a ponytail. Then she looked through the
peephole to see who it was. She recognized who it was and happily
opened the door. “Hey Aeg. What’s up?”
“Not much. We just got back.”
“Oh really.” Danielle said, biting the edge of her lip for a
second. She looked away from AJ, in the direction of the living
room. “I’m gonna just slip across the hall then.”
“How come I don’t remember ever hearing you asking me about how I’d
feel if you wanted Kevin,” he said quietly.
“Because you’re a sweetheart and you like me,” she chuckled and gave
him a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Toodles..” AJ called as she walked down the hall.
“Whhhaaattt?” She whined, turning around in the hallway as she
walked toward Kevin’s room.
He chuckled, “what some cheese with that?”
She rolled her eyes and waved. She watched AJ go into Nick’s
hotel room and close the door. Then she continued down the
hall. When she got to the proper door she knocked a few times and
then stood off to the side.
The door opened a couple minutes later. He was wearing the same
clothes as he had been earlier that day. A pair of blue jeans and
a tight white t-shirt.
“What are you doing here so late?” He asked.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“Come on in then.” He watched her walk in. He closed the
door and then followed her. His room happened to be a little
larger than the others for some reason.
She could hear groaning coming from inside as she stepped into the
room. Howie and Brian were both pleasuring themselves.
Their pants were undone with their hands shoved into them.
“What are you guys watching?” She asked, walking further into the
room, blocking the view of the TV. “Oh man.. I walked in on one
of your porn nights.” She whispered. Howie and Brian were
trying to get her attention so she’d get out of the way of the
TV. She looked over at Kevin shocked.
“C-can you move Danniii,” Brian whined, shifting in the chair he was
sitting in to see the TV better.
She did as asked.
“What’s wrong? Did you want to tell me something?” Kevin
asked her.
“Yes I did,” Danielle said, walking over to him. She wrapped her
arms around his upper body as she pressed her lips against his, hard on
the lips. He dropped the bag of ice that he had been holding and
put his hands against her hips, pulling her closer to his body.
His lips moved against hers. She thought she was losing her
mind. The kiss that she had meant to be soft became something
hard and intimate. She tasted his mouth as her tongue slipped
through is lips. He tasted of alcohol and something sweet all in
one. The scent of his cologne was intoxicating. She let him
kiss her deeper and deeper until she was sucking on his tongue.
She didn’t know what had come over her as she broke the kiss, not being
able to breath.
The other two men who were in the room were too engrossed in the movie
to pay attention to them.
“Kevin. You’re the guy.” She said quietly while looking
into his eyes.
“The ‘the guy’?” He questioned, pressing his forehead against
hers and then he took her much smaller hands in his. She nodded
her head yes, wordlessly. “I want to be with you.”
Danielle stared at him wide-eyed. “What? Where?”
He looked away from her suddenly and then spoke quickly.
“Brian. Key Card.”
Brian wordlessly took his hotel room key out of his pocket with his
unoccupied hand and held it out for him.
Kevin grabbed it from him and then dragged Danielle out into the
hallway. As soon as they stepped out into the hall they kissed
passionately again.
They could have fucked on the hotel room floor without Howie and Brian
paying attention but Kevin hadn’t wanted things to happen quite that
way.
“His room is down this way a little further,” he said and then they
continued their voyage down the deserted hall. The bodyguards had
long gone back to their own rooms for some rest.
Once Kevin opened the hotel room door after a couple tries, Danielle
followed him into the dark room. Then Kevin slammed the door shut
and flipped on one of the mini lights.
They began to kiss passionately. Danielle slipped her hands
between their bodies, working on his jeans zipper. She could feel
his hard cock against her hand as she released it. She let them
and his boxers fall to the floor. Kevin lifted the edge of her
shirt and broke the kiss only to pull it over her head. He smiled
when he realized she had nothing underneath.
Danielle then dropped to her knees and began to suck on him hard.
Kevin gasped, running his fingers through her hair. She swirled
her tongue around his pulsating cock and withdrew, kissing up his
stomach, making his body shiver. She pulled his shirt off as she
made her way up his chest back to his lips.
He grabbed her face with his hands, kissing her deeply, their tongues
trying to overpower the other. His hands moved down her body and
then up her legs. He unfastened her skirt, letting it fall to the
floor in a pool around her feet.
She pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him. She
smiled down at him as she reached behind her head, unfastening her hair
elastic, letting it fall down to her shoulders.
He reached up to touch her, putting his hands on her hips.
She leaned down to kiss him but missed his mouth, instead kissing
across his prominent jawbone, down his heck to his chest.
He groaned as she danced on top of him, never sitting still.
“What was that for?” She laughed, sitting down on him all the way
so he could enter her.
He groaned again, squeezing his eyes shut and brought his hands up to
touch her.
“You feel so good,” she said, leaning her head down to kiss his lips.
He got lost in her eyes as she stared down at him. She moved up
and down and changed her pace from fast and slow and then back
again. Kevin touched her body and his lips were everywhere on
her, kissing her neck, down to her chest. He sucked hard on her
breast as he tweaked the other one with his hand, then switched.
He was driving her crazy. They both started to moan as their
climaxes neared. She leaned down, covering his mouth with hers as
they both came, and then she rolled off of him.
“Holly shit,” Kevin gasped, trying to catch his breath, rolling onto
his side.
“I’m glad I went to talk to you tonight,” she laughed.
“So am I.” He smiled, while brushing a piece of matted hair away
from her face. He rubbed his feet against hers and then leaned
over top of her to kiss her lips. He kissed her a few times
teasing her. Then he slipped his tongue between her lips.
She moaned softly, running her hand against the back of his neck,
drawing him closer. He moaned against her lips as she ran her
fingers between their bodies, pinching his nipples. She paid
attention to them both, tugging at them between her thumb and index
finger, working her way down his body. He slipped one hand to the
small of her back and slid into her again with a groan.
“Oh gosh Kevin..” she murmured, wrapping her legs around his
waist. Her whole body was a bundle of nerves. “I’m not
going to last.”
“That’s okay. Let it go,” he murmured against her neck. He
licked and sucked at the tender skin where her neck and shoulder
met. He could feel her body start to tremble, her inner walls
tightened around his cock.
Waves and waves of pleasure washed over their bodies as he rode it out,
filling her over and over again. He sucked harder and harder
against her neck. She held him close, burring her face in his
other shoulder. She was in heaven. She thought she was
possibly going to die from delight.
They panted heavily, as he pulled out of her, and sought out her
lips. They kissed hungrily, their hot sticky bodies pressed
against each other. He rested his forehead against hers as he
caught his breath. He kissed her shoulder and then rolled off
her, pulling him on top of him. She rested her head on his
chest. His right arm was draped over top of her protectively.
They were starting to doze off when they heard a knock at the door.
“Oh, that’s gonna be Brian,” Kevin whined.
“I can get it,” Danielle smile, while trying to sit up.
Kevin held onto her by the arms, not allowing her to sit up. “Uh,
uh, uh. Not like that you are.”
“But can’t you imagine his face?” She giggled, making a silly
face.
“Actually I can,” he chuckled, pulling her down for a quick kiss.
“We should get dressed.”
She sat up and then grabbed her scattered clothes and headed toward the
washroom, looking back once at Kevin, who was watching her as she
walked. She waved her finger at him, non-approvingly, with a sly
smile on her face.
Kevin then got up and slipped his boxers and jeans on. Damn, what
a night, he thought to himself. “I’m coming Brian,” he
called. When he got to the door and opened it, Brian readily
walked in.
“Hey look at my room.. It smells in here.” Brian chuckled, waving
his hand in the air. “Y’all had sex didn’t you.”
Danielle slipped her head out of the washroom. “You’re too
late. Sorry you missed it,” she beamed, from behind them.
She had over heard what Brian said when he walked into the room.
“How was the porn?”
“Got cut off part way through one of the s-scenes,” he said, studding
on the last few words. He ran his fingers through his wavy hair
and then shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
“That’s too bad.”
“We should go now,” Kevin spoke up, and then held his hand out to
Danielle.
She looked up at Kevin and nodded her head in agreement.
“Yeah. I should really be getting back to my room or well out of
here at least.” She could feel Kevin pull at her hand. “Bye
Brian.”
“Yeah bye,” he chuckled, walking to the door with them. He shut
it and locked the door once they had left.
The next morning Danielle slipped back into the hotel room quietly.
“Where were you last night?”
She about screamed at the sound of Nick’s voice. She turned
around to see him flipping through TV channels. “That’s what I
wanted to talk to you about..”
“Go on.” He said, setting the remote down on the bed and turned
to her, giving her his full attention.
“What would you think if I went out with a guy who’s older than me?”
“How much older? More than five.”
“Yeah. He’s a really great guy though whom just happens to be in
the band.”
“It’s Kevin, isn’t it.”
She had a shocked look on her face. “How did you know? AJ
told you didn’t he?!”
“He told me where you were going. Do you remember what happened
when you were with AJ?”
“I’m going to kill him..” she groaned. “You’re always going to
have a special place in my heart no matter who I’m with or how stupid I
am. I promise I won’t forget about you this time. It’s
going to be different. You’re always going to be my favorite
cousin.”
“It sounds like we’re making up or something.” He chuckled.
“Com’er and give me a hug!”
“Awe,” she smiled, walking over to him.
He embraced her in a warm hug and she smiled happily.
“So you’re not mad?”
“You have my blessing.” He said. “What about Gwen though?”
“Kevin is going to talk to her..”
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