Jukebox
Written by Erin
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Back
Chapter 1
Asked You First
Things can't get much weirder, this can't get much worse, Don't know
why you wouldn't kiss me, but it's a good thing I asked you first. You
were a big strapping boy with a boner. Yeah I felt it when we hugged
goodbye. You gave me an evening I'll never forget, no matter how hard I
try. Yeah you were just mister flirtatious, all night just workin' that
ass, Well you know it's uncool to bring it to school if you don't want
to share with the class."*
"Can we really afford this?" Erin asked her sister, Courtney.
"Sure. You're the one with her own dance studio, not us."
It had been a long time since Erin had gone clubbing. Too much work,
not enough fun.
"Hmm, yes that is true. So basically, I can afford US."
"Yep," Emma and Courtney said in unison.
"CT Peppers?" Courtney asked.
"How about that new place on Illinois St.?" Emma asked.
Erin flashed a smile at her sister. "Whatever."
It was strange, even to her, that while she had a career in dance, she
had no clue about the clubs downtown. Or anywhere for that matter. She
had been dragged into this. She would've much rather been home, asleep
or vegging out with a movie. Dance was her life and she couldn't see
herself doing anything else but she worked so much that it was the last
thing she wanted to do in her downtime. But she had agreed, missing the
silly fun her and her friends used to have before she became a
workhorse. So she got cashed out in her snake skin lowriders, a gray
spaghetti strap top, and black strappys. She felt hot, and tired as
shit.
They stepped into P3 and nearly gagged at the cloud of smoke they had
to venture through just to get to the dance floor. Emma grabbed Erin's
arm and led her to the bar. Emma and Courtney ordered as Erin scanned
the floor for someone to dance with. She spotted someone who looked
vaguely familiar but through the cloud of smoke she couldn't make out
his face.
"Whaddya want and whoya lookin' at?" Emma asked.
"Um...Long Island and that cute guy over there," she said, pointing.
"Oh no, it took us this long to get you here. The least you could do is
dance with us for awhile."
Erin smiled. "Of course."
They got their drinks and found the only small table available, next to
the dance floor. Emma and Courtney scanned the room as Erin searched
for the guy she had noticed before.
"You know,' Courtney said, "Backstreet Boys and in town for a concert
tomorrow night. Maybe they're out clubbing too."
Emma rolled her eyes. "Courtney, shut up. I can't believe you listen to
that crap. You should try listening to a REAL musician once in awhile."
"Oh, come on Emma," Erin said, "Don't knock it 'til you try it."
A cute blond came up to their table and turned his attention to Emma.
"Wanna dance?"
"Sure," she responded.
Erin's eyes buldged. "Emma! I can't check out guys but you can leave to
dance with them?"
"Hey, don't knock it til you try it," she grinned.
Courtney shrugged and held out her hand. "Wanna dance?" she asked Erin.
"Sure."
Courtney and Erin had probably been dancing for a half hour when she
noticed the man she was scoping earlier was approaching them. He
stopped behind Courtney and tapped her on the shoulder.
'Oh, great', Erin thought, 'He's asking my sister to dance.'
"Do you mind if I borrow her to dance?" he asked Courtney. She looked
her way and Erin nodded, suprised as hell.
"Yeah, go ahead," Courtney said, stepping back. Emma suddenly appeared
and grabbed Courtney to dance.
Erin just stood there for awhile, trying to place his face but it was
hard to get a good look at him with the lighting and all. He waved his
hand in front of her face and asked, "You did want to dance with me,
right?"
"Yeah!" she screamed over the music, snapping out of her trance.
They started swaying together to Jay-Z. His hands slid all over her
body in the most erotic but gentlemenly way she had ever felt. She
hooked her fingers into his sunglasses and slid them off his face.
"Mind?" she asked, already in the process.
"Nope," he whispered in a raspy voice. She unconsiously slipped them
into her pocket. She looked up into his eyes and her whole body went
numb. Her stomach sank and she almost forgot to breathe.
'Act natural, act natural,' she kept repeating to herself. It was A.J.
McLean.
She noticed some flailing arms in the distance and realized they were
those of Emma and Courtney. They kept pointing somewhere but she never
caught on.
A.J. stopped dancing. "Is everything okay?" he asked.
"Um, yeah, I think."
"Do you need to leave?"
"Nope," she said, summoning a burst of courage and pulling him closer.
He smiled.
"Good," he said, sending chills down her spine.
They danced for what seemed like hours and rarely broke eye contact.
Erin didn't really notice how empty the club was getting until she
remembered that she had actually came with people.
Emma snuck up behind her and grabbed her arm, spinning her around.
"Girl, for someone who didn't wanna come at all you've sure monopolized
the dance floor."
She felt a finger slide between her pants and her lower back. A.J.
started pulling her back but Emma held fast to her arm and jerked her
back. Never taking her eyes off A.J. she said, "I'm tired and bored
Erin. Lets go back to the hotel."
With that she practically jerked Erin's arm out of the socket pulling
her through the decaying crowd. Courtney suddenly appeared next to Erin
and walked with them towards the door. She glanced back over her
shoulder, catching his stare. They never broke eye contact until the
door had shut behind the girls and they were outside the darkened club.
Courtney couldn't stop giggling yet Emma was strangely quiet. By the
time they had caught a cab and made it back to the lobby of the hotel,
Courtney had stopped laughing and none of them mentioned a thing about
what had just happened. Of course, that didn't last long.
Back
Chapter 2
Virtue
'The one person who really knows me best, says I'm like a cat. Yeah,
the kind of cat that you just can't pick up and throw into your lap.
The kind that doesn't mind being held, only when its her idea. Yeah,
the kind that feels what she decides to feel, when she is good and
ready to feel it."*
Erin fell smack down on her hotel bed, looking up at the ceiling.
Courtney jumped on her bed and started bouncing up and down.
"Can you believe what just happened?" Courtney asked, laughing.
"I know I can't," Emma remarked, sounding annoyed.
"Hey Courtney, hand me my purse."
"Where is it?" Courtney asked.
"Um....hmm, where did I put it?" she asked herself, trying to think
about what she did when she walked into the room. "Oh shit!" Erin
exclaimed, sitting up quickly.
***
The cab pulled up to the club and Erin stepped out. The bouncer looked
up at her. "Sorry, we're closed."
"Yeah, I left my purse inside earlier."
Sighing, he spoke. "Follow me." he said, opening the door for her.
He led her to the bar and shouted a man's name into the back. An older
man walked to the counter.
"Lady left her purse here earlier."
"Well, I'm sorry to say but I haven't gotten anything turned into me.
But you might check back later. It might turn up."
"Thanks," she said, expelling a heavy breath. She walked back out to
her cab, a damper put on her whole night.
***
"Miss...Miss..."
A desk clerk was shouting. She turned around to see what all the
commotion was about.
"Do you have a room here?"
"Yes...why else would I be here?" she asked, showing him her key card
and sounding annoyed.
"I'm sorry ma'am but I need to check your ID on that."
She rolled her eyes and walked to the front desk.
"Do you normally badger the guests here, or is it just my lucky night?"
"I'm really sorry but we've had a lot of people without rooms wandering
the building. Just a safety precaution." He typed on the computer for a
second and she stood tapping her nails on the wood counter.
"Miss Lawrence?"
"Yep, that's me." She grabbed her key card from the clerk and started to
walk towards the elevator.
"Wait!" he yelled after her.
She turned on her heels, giving him a nasty look. "What?!"
"Someone left this at the desk for you." He held up her purse.
She rushed over and took it from him. "Oh my god. How...who?"
"Speechless? It's about time...," he deadpaned.
She glared at him.
"Yeah...someone left it here for you. Said they found it in a club.
They must've found our hotel card in it or something."
"Great...thanks!"
She rushed to the elevator. Her night was looking up after all. She
pushed the 'up' button and started rummaging thru her purse, waiting
for the doors to open.
She looked up long enough to walk inside and push the button for her
floor. Then she directed her attention back to searching through her
purse. Searching for missing money or credit cards. Someone slipped in
at the last second.
"What floor?" she asked, still engaged in her purse.
"Third," said a low, raspy voice. She glanced at the panel and pushed
the button, not realizing that they were on the same floor.
Suddenly the elevator started to jerk and pull. The sudden sharp
movement made her loose her balance. She managed to catch her balance
against the wall but her purse was a different story. The contents went
everywhere.
"You okay?" the man asked.
"Yeah...," she said, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes.
"Shit!" she exclaimed and quickly dropped down to the floor. She
quickly started gathering the contents of her purse, trying to cover
her nervous fall.
"Suprised to see me again?" A.J. asked.
Then she saw it, out of the corner of her eye. It was laying right at
his feet. She tryed to grab it but failed miserably. He snatched it
before she could. He waved her Backstreet Boys CD in front of her face,
almost teasingly. They played cat and mouse and he kept jerking it out
of her reach everytime she tryed to grab for it. Finally he let her
have it back.
"Backstreet Boys?" he asked skeptically. "Aren't you a little old for
that stuff?"
"Hey! I'm younger than YOU."
"So you know how old I am?" he asked smiling. She was trapped.
"Oh shut-up," she said, suddenly out of things to say. "It's a good CD."
"I know."
"Cocky are we?" she asked, smiling. She shoved the rest of her
belongings into her purse and stood. He stood with her.
"So, please tell me that this is a big joke and you pulled the
'emergency stop' on me or something."
"Come on...you were standing right in front of the panel. I would've
had to reach around you to get it."
She started fidgeting.
"Nervous?" he asked.
"No, I hate elevators," she lied.
"I just figured, you know, with me being a Backstreet Boy and all...,"
he trailed off.
"Definetly cocky," she muttered, pushing random buttons on the panel.
"Here, let me help," he said, reaching around her and pushing the
button for the intercom.
Suddenly a male voice resounded through out the elevator.
"Is everyone alright?" the voice asked .
"Yeah...we're fine."
"Could I have the names of the persons present?"
"Um, I'm Alexander McLean and she is..." He looked at her.
"Erin, Erin Lawrence."
"She's Erin Lawrence."
"Oh, yes, Miss Lawrence. We met earlier."
"Yeah," she said, in an annoyed and monotone voice. "And I'm just so
ecstatic...can't you tell? But enough about me...how about you
doing your job and getting us the hell out of here?"
"As always, it's a pleasure talking with you. Mr. McLean, we are
terriblely sorry about all this and will have you both out as soon as
possible."
They both sat down and she started looking around, desperate to ease
the nervous tension. Well, hers anyway.
"Seeing as how I returned your purse, could I have my sunglasses back?"
he asked.
She put her hand over her mouth, embarassed. "I am so sorry. I totally
forgot...I'll have to give them to you later though. I changed before I
went out again so they're probably in my room."
He shrugged. "Hey, it's okay," he reassured her.
Suddenly the intercom clicked and a female voice started talking.
"AJ? Are you alright in there? Who are you with? Why isn't your
cell turned on?"
He smiled. "I'm fine Amanda. I'm here with Erin. Go back to bed, you
need the rest. This isn't a big deal and we'll be out before you know
it."
Erin withered inside. 'Oh yes, the girlfriend. God, I wish I could find
a man that sweet,' she thought.
"I love you baby," he told her.
"I love you too," she sighed.
By that time Erin's envy had turned to the faint urge to hurl.
In the background you could hear faint argueing. Then a male voice came
on.
"Hey AJ, it's Nick!"
"Yeah, I know who it is Nick."
"Is that the girl from the club?" he asked.
"Yes Nick."
"Hey, get her phone number for me."
AJ ran his hands over his face, appearing tired and a bit embarassed.
In the background you could hear the female voice ask "What girl and
what club?"
AJ gave Erin the 'oh shit, I'm busted' look. The intercom went dead.
Back
Chapter 3
Anticipate
"We don't say everything that we
could,
So that we can say later, "Oh, you
misunderstood.",
I hold my cards up close to my chest,
I say what I have to and I hold back
the rest.
'Cause someone you don't know is
someone you don't know,
Get a firm grip, girl before you let
go,
For every hand extended, another lies
in wait,
Keep your eye on that
one...anticipate."*
"So, you got anything in that mammoth purse of yours to keep us
occupied?" he asked.
She shrugged and dumped out its contents. Big mistake. A condom fell
right before him. He picked it up and held it out to her.
"Well, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind but its definetly something
to keep us occupied."
She snatched the condom from his hand and glared at him, trying to look
angry.
"Please, don't. I'm begging you. I've had enough embarassment for one
night, and it's been a long night."
He held his hands up in defeat.
Closing her eyes she leaned back against the wall. She felt it safest
to just sit in silence.
AJ sat in one corner painting his nails with the nail polish he had
found in Erin's purse. Erin sat in the other corner trying not to stare.
Not in a million years...and defintely not her. She was never lucky
enough to have stuff like this happen to her. But there she was, stuck
in an elevator with a Backstreet Boy.
She shifted her position.
"Is your ass falling asleep too?" he asked her, smiling.
"Yeah," she said, smiling back.
She eyed the brown bag he had sitting near him. "What's that?" she
inquired.
"This? I picked it up after I left the bar. Just a bottle of wine for
the girlfriend. It's my 'please forgive me for leaving you to watch old
B-movies while I go out to have a good time' bottle of wine. Very
expensive," he grinned.
She eyed it a little more extensively.
"Fine, okay. Stop pulling my arm, I'll open it," he laughed.
***
"That tickles!" she giggled, sounding more like a thirteen year old
than a woman of legal drinking age.
"Stop wiggling or it's gonna smear all over the place. They'll make you
clean it up you know..."
She didn't quite know how she had gotten into this position with AJ.
Actually, she did. Her foot lay in his lap, toenails painted. Her hand
held fast to the empty champane bottle.
"Gimmee the bottle," he slurred.
"Not a chance!" she shouted, laughing uncontrolably. "Do you know
what this would fetch me on e-Bay?" She waved the bottle in front
of his face.
"Maybe enough to buy the new N'sync cd. I hear it's good," he said.
They both started laughing. "You are so shitfaced...," she teased.
"Me!? Look at you..."
She looked at her watch. It had been two and a half hours since they
had talked to the hotel clerk. She streched her legs out in his lap and
yawned. No sooner had she thought about it than the hotel manager came
over the intercom.
"Are you both doing okay?" he asked. They both looked at each other and
started snickering.
"We're fine...fine fine fine," AJ stuttered out.
"Are you sure...?" The manager sounded skeptical.
"Yeah!" Erin suddenly shouted. AJ jumped, startled at the volume of her
voice, then started to giggle again.
"Hey...you still there?" AJ asked.
"Yes..." The manager was beginning to sound annoyed.
"Can't you play some music or some thing? And not that elevator
music..." He stopped and looked confused at the sound of his own words.
"Play real music...music with words..."
"Okay sir...um, what station would you like?"
"I don't know...I don't live here...if I did I'd be..." He stopped
again and looked at Erin. "What station do you wanna hear?"
"How about...93.1...,?" she snickered again.
"That then...play that."
"Yes sir. Again, we are terriblely sorry about all this." AJ nodded in
agreement and no one spoke for awhile. Erin nudged him with her elbow.
"He can't hear you nod you numbnuts...say something..."
"Yeah, yes...thank you kind sir," he managed to squeeze out. The
manager said nothing and only turned on the radio.
The sound of the DJ echoed through the small space.
"This is your last chance folks. Be caller 93 and win two tickets to
see the Backstreet Boys in concert."
Erin's eyes grew wide. "Oh...I want tickets to see the Backstreet Boys!"
"Then call...call them...I dare you...call them," he slurred.
She dug through the pile of junk on the floor to try and find her cell
phone.
"I've lost it...it's gone. Did you take it?" she asked him.
"I can't remember. Just use mine." He ripped one of his cargo pockets
open and pulled it out. Tossing it at her he said, "Hurry, you're gonna
lose. Someone else is gonna win em!"
"What's the number?" she asked him.
"How in the hell would I know?"
She started pushing buttons, oblivious to the fact that she had hit the
redial button.
"Hello?" A female voice asked.
"Hello?" Erin asked back. "Did I win?"
"What are you talking about? How did you get this number?"
"Did you win?" AJ asked loudly.
"Who is that?" the girl asked suddenly.
"I'm not authorized to answer that question," she giggled. "First tell
me your name and then I'll tell you mine."
"My name is Amanda...your turn..."
"Well, Amanda, my name is Erin."
Erin looked over at AJ and put her hand over the reciever. "She says
her name is Amanda. I think she's trying to confuse me so I won't
win the tickets," she tryed whispering discreetly.
AJ frowned. "Thats not very nice. Let me handle it."
He took the phone from her. And although they had touched hands before
it suddenly hit her again. She was stuck in an elevator with AJ McLean.
"Hello?,' he asked, 'I don't know what kind of scam you are trying to
pull but..."
He was cut off by a high pitched, shrill shriek.
"AJ, what are you doing? What's going on in there?"
His eyes grew wide and he quickly hung up the phone.
"That was my girlfriend!"
Erin started laughing. "You're in big trouble now!"
Back
Chapter 4
This Little War
"We thought we left possession behind.
The truth is I was yours and you
weren't mine.
I've replayed a thousand times
exactly what was said.
'Cause nothing is as it appears."*
"Do you think she's gonna be mad at me?" he whined.
"Mad at you? For what? Getting stuck in an elevator and drinking
alcohol?"
Erin was getting a little pissed. He was acting like a big baby.
He shrugged. "I know," he sighed.
The commercials finally came to an end and the music filled the small
encasing.
"Oh," she sighed blissfully, "I love this song." Softly she began to
sing, under her breath.
~"I try but I can't seem to get
myself to think of anything but you
Your breath on my face, your warm
gentle kiss, I taste the truth
I taste the truth
We know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more" ~
"Not bad," he said.
She rolled her eyes. "Please. I'm suprised that your ears aren't
bleeding."
"Oh, come on..." he laughed and started singing with her.
~"I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one, who's in your arms,
who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than
to feel this way
I wanna be with you" ~
"Dude, stop singing...the management is gonna think someone is dying in
here...," she playfully teased him, knowing damn well what she was
doing.
Erin's friends always teased her about how much she flirted. It
just seemed to be part of her personality. He played along though,
playfully shoving her.
Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the result of being stuck in an
elevator for too long, or maybe it was just as it felt. That feeling of
your first crush and that first kiss, straight up, unadulterated
electricity.
He held out his hand to her. "Wanna dance?"
There it was again. That feeling. Falling.
She stood up and slipped her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms
around her waist and leaned his head in close to hers, singing softly.
~"So I'll hold you tonight like I
would if you were mine to hold
Forever more
And I'll savor each touch that I've
wanted so much to feel before
To feel before
How beautiful it is
Just to be like this"~
His cell phone started ringing, a harsh reminder of the reality they
were letting themselves slip from. But no sooner had he dug it from his
pocket did he turn it off and toss it to the ground. Erin knew this was
important, even if they never spoke or saw each other again. She softy
laid her head in the crook of his neck, determined not to let the
moment slip away too quickly, before she had the chance to savour every
last second.
~"I wanna be with you
If only for a night
To be the one, who's in your arms,
who holds you tight
I wanna be with you
There's nothing more to say
There's nothing else I want more than
to feel this way
I wanna be with you"~
He looked up at her, like he was about to say something, but stopped.
Leaning forward he laid the sweetest kiss on top of her nose and then
smiled at her. She quickly nuzzled her head back in his shoulder, tears
welling up in her eyes. She suddenly wished she had never met him. She
wasn't ready for the kinds of 'regrets' she knew he was going to cause
after they parted.
`"Oh Baby
I can't fight this feeling anymore
Drives me crazy when I try to
So call my name
And take my hand
Can you make my wish
Baby your command"~**
And just as quickly as it had started, it ended. The song stopped yet
they stood there, not wanting to let go. "Again" by Lenny Kravitz came
on and it broke the silence. They both started laughing.
The elevator started jerking and pulling.
"Let me help you with your stuff."
AJ bent over and started gathering her things, dumping them back in her
purse. Their eyes met and she smiled at him, but he could tell it was
forced, as was his.
Suddenly he didn't want her to go. Slyly he slipped his cell phone into
her purse, stood, and gave her her bag. One long embrace later the
elevator doors opened.
A beautiful brunette stood on the other side looking none to happy. She
really was extrodinarily beautiful.
'I didn't have a chance in hell,' Erin thought to herself.
She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. Pushing past the entourage of
people, and not to mention, Backstreet Boys, she took off running down
the hall towards her room.
Back
Chapter 5
Submerged
"I think that a thing of the past,
they just don't make them to last anymore,
And it seems to me I'll miss love in
the effort it infers,
And her legs are longer, but mine are
stronger than hers.
....Just turn out the light and
unlock the door,
Tell me you feel alright, even better
than before.
Show me you can be strong, its all I
wanted all along."*
She shoved the hotel door open and stumbled in, the door giving way too
easily. Tears streaming down her cheeks she wiped the back of her hand
across her eyes, smudging her mascara all over the place. She could
hear Courtney and Emma calling after her. Ducking into the bathroom she
locked the door behind her, leaning and then sliding down the smooth
length of the it. She ran a bath, all so they couldn't hear her muffled
sobs. She didn't know what had gotten into her or why she was crying,
or at least that's what she was telling herself.
"Erin...Erin...open the door please. What is wrong...?" Courtney stood
there awhile, thinking. "What did he do to you? I knew he was too
perfect, he had to have a flaw."
"I didn't do anything to her..." a male voice responded.
Erin sat up quickly, practicly giving herself whiplash. 'Oh god...he's
here...,' she thought. She composed herself and stood up. "Um, I'm
fine. That alcohol really got to me."
"Erin...?" Courtney asked, "Do you remember that time you and Laura
snuck off to Michigan with only $14.00, almost got stranded, and came
home late the next morning...?"
"Yeah...," she responded, somewhat confused.
"Well, I'm not as dumb as Mom and Dad and you aren't any better of a
liar."
Erin smiled. "Fuck you, you bloated cow," she teased.
It was an inside joke between the two of them. Erin could picture AJ's
confused stare at Courtney's 100 lb frame.
AJ walked up to the door, bracing both hands on the frame. "Can you
hear me?" he asked quietly.
She sat down on the lid of the toilet. "Not when you whisper,
fucknugget," she replied simply.
He smiled. "I just want you to know that by chasing after you I am in
big trouble with the Mrs." She wiped at the black smudges under her
eyes. "So if you don't come out here or let one of us in, I am forever
going to remember you as 'that woman that got me bitched at'."
Standing, she turned and looked in the mirror, wiping the rest of the
mascara from her face, straightening her clothes, and smoothing down
her wild-n-wavy hair. Cracking the door just a bit, she peeked out.
Staring back at her were the deep brown eyes that she had secretly
gazed at for so many years, being a closet fan.
He leaned in a little closer and mouthed 'Please'. She could just
barely smell the light sent of his colone through the cracked door.
"I can't do this," she suddenly stuttered, slamming and locking the
door back.
Back
Chapter 6
Find A Fire
"I am wading through the waters
wanting you,
I don't dare look 'cuz I'll see right
through.
I tried to warn myself to sleep, but
now I'm wading, way too deep.
I can't scream my sirens any higher,
'cuz I'm bound to find a fire.
I can smell your closeness though you
hide in your tower,
The peasant boy plagued by the
princess of power.
And out of the struggle of your
isolation,
Comes a redemption of innocence by
association.
I can't scream my sirens any higher,
'cuz I'm bound to find a fire.
So I will play your game, 'cuz it's
my game too,
A stranger's arthmetic where one and
one don't make two.
I can sense a softness there,
Can you imagine the lifelessness that
we could share?
I can't scream my sirens any higher,
'cuz I'm bound to find a fire."*
"Phone, phone, phone...," AJ said, clicking his fingers repeatitly.
Walking into the seperate bedroom he sat down on the bed. Courtney
followed with Emma trailing.
"Look, I don't want to sound rude or anything but could I use your
hotel room. I'll lend you mine for how ever long this takes."
"And your girlfriend?" Emma reminded him.
"Shit!" he exclaimed. He stood and walked back into the main bedroom.
"Nick?" he yelled.
"Yeah?" Nick stuck his head around the corner, from outside in the
hallway. He had obviously been easvedropping.
"Could these two hang with you for awhile?"
Nick looked Courtney up and down. "Defintely...," he smiled at her.
"I guess you'll have to do since Kevin is married now," Courtney said,
giving him the once over and sighing. Emma covered her mouth, trying
not to laugh.
Nick shook his head. "Maaaannnn, what does he have that I don't?" he
asked jokingly.
"Well, for one thing, I'm sure he zips up his pants after he takes a
piss."
Nick quickly spun around and pulled up his fly. AJ shook his head in
disbelief as the girls tryed to stop their hyserical laughter.
"Carter...keep your mits to yourself," AJ reminded him.
Walking back to the bedroom he sat on the bed and sighed.
He wasn't quite sure why he cared at all. What he did know was that she
was all he could think of since they had danced at the club earlier
that night. He had felt what he assumed all the millions of fans felt
when they met one of the guys. His heart raced and he was stumbling for
the words that once spoken, sounded so stupid and infantile in his
head. In the elevator he had wanted to kiss her so badly. But he knew
in his mind that it wasn't right. He felt responsible for her
though. Now if only he could get her out of that damn
bathroom.
He picked up the reciever and dialed his cell phone number. He could
hear the muffled rings coming from the bathroom. There was a 'click' on
the line and then Erin's faltering voice.
"Um, hello?" she asked, realizing that she had someone elses phone,
namely AJ's. She was praying it wasn't Amanda, looking for him.
"Hello," said AJ's raspy voice. She felt relief and terror at the same
time.
"Whaddya say you let me into that bathroom you're so fond of. I'm
dieing to see why it has you so captivated."
"Not a chance," she smirked.
He was feeling giddy again. "Awww, come on," he pleaded.
"Nope."
"Why not..?" he whined.
"Because I'm naked and taking a bath."
D'oh. She smacked her hand on her forehead. Why had she said that? AJ
suddenly sat up straighter.
"Really?" he questioned.
"No. I didn't mean that," she tryed to cover.
"Then why did you say it? To tease me?"
He furrowed his brow. Why had he said that?
"Tease you?" she suddenly sat up straighter, the water splashing
against the sides of the tub as she did so.
"I didn't mean that," he said, laying his head in his hand. 'What am I
doing?' he asked himself.
They sat in silence for awhile, neither wanting to say something stupid
or embarassing. "So...," his voice broke in, "Can I come in?" She
didn't know what to say. She wanted, more than anything, for him to
come in, get in the tub, and get pruney with her...not to mention some
other stuff.
She sighed, her conflicting emotions evident. Suddenly he wished he
hadn't pressed the issue. The last thing he wanted was for her to push
him further away.
"I...," he begain.
She cut him off. "Try the door. If it's unlocked, come on in. If it's
not, then I guess you should probably head back to your girlfriend."
Usually he didn't put up with mind games but he couldn't ignore the
heat burning in his stomach or the racing of his heart.
Taking the cordless with him he slowly started to the bathroom door. It
was the most exilerating feeling he had felt in a long time.
Erin could hear his shoes softly scoffing the carpet, and then his hand
resting on the doorknob. She honestly couldn't remember if she had
locked the door back. After she had slammed the door in his face
earlier she could hear numerous voices outside the room and had decided
to carefully check it out. She had seen nothing and shut the door back.
Erin figured she would leave this one to fate in the end though.
AJ rested his hand on the knob, not quite sure if he wanted it to open
or to be locked tight. But something was telling him to stop thinking
and start turning. He carefully begain to turn the knob, speaking
quietly into the phone.
"Okay, I'm turning the knob now..."
"Yeah, but could you turn it a bit faster there...I'm starting to look
like a California Raisin."
He smiled and gently leaned into the door, turning the handle as far as
it would allow.
The door moved beneath him and suddenly he found himself standing in
the middle of the bathroom.
Erin lay sprawled out in the tub, enormous bubbles surrounding her. Her
head lay back against the end of the tub, a cascade of light brown
curls tumbled down the outside. She slowly rolled her head to look at
him, his phone still pressed snuggly to her warm cheek. She smiled at
him, took the flip phone from her face and snapped it closed, letting
it softly drop to the floor. He let the cordless slide from his hand.
It hit the floor, the back breaking off.
"Jackpot," she said, the corner of her mouth turning up into a half
smile.
He walked over and knelt down beside her. Taking her face in his hands
he brought his lips to meet hers. At the first brush of lips they both
felt the sting of the static electricity snap between them. Only half
heartedly pulling back he looked at her. They both took it as a sign of
the damage they could do if things went further. Leaning back in he
pressed his lips against hers, her mouth parting for him. Raising two
suddsey hands, she took his face in her hands. Their tongues touched
and they knew that they were in for a long night....cause where there
are sparks, there's bound to be fire.
Back
Chapter 7
Providence
"But I just got one more thing to tell you,
'Cuz words are vitamins and life is short,
And I know when we get up to the front office,
We're gonna have to fill out a full report.
The first question will be what were you thinking?
And the next question will be what did you say?
And then they're gonna check to see if the answerss to one and two,
Matched up much along the way.
In the interest of poetry and the cowboy movie that's you and me,
I'm back on the horse now, and I am riding,
I am striding so effortlessly.
What I mean is it's late,
Much too late for us, and I'm fixing to go home,
With just my conscience and a bitter sense of irony as my chaperone."*
"Do you really want to follow this through?" he asked, pulling back.
She was breathless from the most amazing kiss she'd ever had. "I'm
trying not to think about it."
She leaned back in and captured his lips again, softly sucking and then
biting on his lower lip. She could feel the vibration of his lips as he
moaned against the kiss.
Still inside the tub she slid her hands down his torso and grasped his
shirt at the hem. Breaking their kiss she pulled it up and over his
head, and then tossed it to the floor. As their tongues playfully
touched and tangled, AJ reached down and fumbled with his belt and then
the button and zipper. Erin let her lips trail soft, wet kisses along
his jaw as he struggled to slip out of his pants and boxers. Slowly he
stood, their fingers entwined and never letting go, he slid into the
bathtub with her. Shifting her position she moved between his legs, her
back to him.
She settled back against his chest letting her head rest on his
shoulder. Slowly he let his fingers softly trail down the length of her
arms. Reaching her fingertips he laced his with hers. He softly kissed
her on the top of her head.
"This is crazy...," she sighed, looking down into the mass of bubbles.
"Do you mind if I ask about earlier, when you ran off?"
"Um, yes. I'd rather wait 'til I know you a bit better before I scare
you off with my emotional baggage."
"Fair enough," he shrugged. "You know, we are eventually gonna have to
get out and face everyone."
"Yeah, I knew my chariot was bound to turn back into a pumpkin sooner
or later," she sighed.
"Aww, baby if I was gonna leave I would've been long gone by now."
"I'm trying not to think about it," she smiled.
"You're trying not to think about a lot of things, aren't you?"
She nodded.
"Is it working?" he asked.
"Nope."
Softly he feathered his fingers against her stomach. His touch crept
lower and lower. Her heart kept beating faster and faster and she was
more nervous in that moment, than she had ever been in her entire life.
She wasn't sure if she should stop him or just lie back and enjoy. What
she did know was that she wasn't ready to have sex with him. Of all the
times she had secretly fantasized about it, she never imagined it would
be like this. She wasn't sure if she could go through with it. It was
his fingers delicately parting her soft folds of flesh that snapped her
back into reality. Her hand covered his and held on, not letting him
press any further.
"I can't. We can't. It'll just make it harder in the end," she
whispered.
"Who said anything about the end?" he asked.
He shifted and his finger brushed her clit, her hand still holding his
where she had stopped him before. A groan hitched in her throat.
"I'm not ready...," she trailed off.
"Okay...but I wanna do this. For you. Please...let me."
His breath tickled her neck as he spoke and she found herself unable to
refuse him. Slowly she moved her hand from his and rested it on the
edge of the tub. His hands slowly started to work at her clit, his
mouth softly brushing the crook of her neck. She knew she was in way
over her head but as his fingers continuously hit her swelling bud, she
didn't care. Her legs begain to shake and he slowed his pace, opting
instead, to penetrate her with his two fingers. A deep animal groan
escaped her throat and she could feel him smile against her neck. He
pulled out and, again, begain flicking her clit with his fingers. She
could feel herself starting to give out under his touch and
unconsciencly pushed against him. He could feel her body tense against
his and he decided to pull back a bit, not quite ready for the moment
to pass.
He continued to bring her to the brink every time, only to let up,
building up her release. His fingers massaged her aching clit until she
felt her walls begin to tingle. Only this time he didn't pull away, he
kept on. Tears begain welling up in her eyes as she realized her end
was near. Her hips started to buck against his hand and his lips
brushed her ear. His eyes clenched shut, beginning to water. His voice
was hoarse and strained in her
ear.
"I'm coming with you..."
Wrapping his free arm around her he forced her body to sit up straight
along with his. She whimpered and then cryed out as a wave of ectascy
swept over her. She could feel his hardness pressing deep into her
lower back. As he softly bit into her neck she felt him pulse against
her. He continued to rock against her, riding out his own orgasam.
Resting his head on her back he waited for the dizziness to subside.
***
About an hour later they were both dressed, Erin in her pajamas and AJ
in his clothes from earlier. Erin started looking around, confused.
"Where's my sister...and Emma?"
"I sent them with Nick," he responded.
"He's not gonna touch them and stuff, is he?" she asked, concerned and
only half joking.
"I doubt it. Courtney seemed like she could hold her own. But we can
call if you want."
"Yeah, lets do that," she said, grabbing the phone off the bathroom
floor and handing it to AJ.
"Hello?" a male voice asked.
"Yeah, hey let me talk to Carter," AJ said.
"What?" Nick answered.
"Hey, what are you guys doing?"
"We are fucked up man. This girl can drink."
"Nick, listen carefully. I meant what I said earlier, about not
touching those two."
"Yeah man. But what if they put the moves on me? Am I just supposed to
deny them?" Nick asked, obviously drunk off his ass.
"Yes. Restraint Nick. You can do it. Now put Courtney on the phone so
Erin can talk to her."
AJ handed the phone to Erin and went to the bathroom to get his cell
phone.
"C? Don't do anything stupid okay?" Erin told her sister.
AJ paced around the room, trying to figure out what he was going to
tell his girlfriend.
Erin hung up the phone, shaking her head. "I don't think she's ever
been that drunk before."
AJ pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. "She'll be fine.
Brian's in there, along with security. And Nick's not like that."
She nodded.
"Are you getting tired?" he asked her.
"Yeah." She rubbed her eyes and headed towards the bed.
Forcefully tugging the covers back, she climbed into the bed. AJ
climbed in with her. She suddenly felt the need to distance herself
from him, afraid of what would eventually happen anyway.
"Um...don't you need to take care of some stuff? Like explaining to
your girlfriend where and who you've been with? And I doubt after that,
she's gonna let you out of your room." Erin said.
"Probably. But I'm a big puss. I'll take care of it when I wake up
later."
"Chicken," she teased.
"So?" he smiled at her.
She quickly rolled over and turned out the lamp on the nightstand.
Scooting closer to her he draped an arm around her waist.
Leaning in he whispered in her ear, "Night."
She sighed, feeling his warm breath on the back of her neck.
"Night," she whispered.
***
She sat there, staring at the second hand, watching it slowly tick by.
She had gotten out of bed as soon as she was sure AJ was dead asleep.
She had packed up all their stuff and already loaded it into the car.
There wasn't much, seeing as how they were only staying one night
anyway.
She was trying to figure out how she was going to find Courtney and
Emma. She kept poking her head out the door, hoping to catch a
bodyguard or Backstreet Boy...anybody. She poked her head out again,
this time spotting a big black man. From the pictures she had seen she
assumed it to be Marcus, AJ's bodyguard. She took off down the hall
after him.
"Hey! Wait!" she shouted. He stopped and looked at her.
"I'm going to have to call security, you shouldn't be on this floor,"
he said sternly, although she could tell he was trying to place her
face.
"No, I have a room here. I'm the girl who got stuck in the elevator
with AJ."
"I thought you looked familiar. You'd better scram though. Amanda is
just waiting to kick the shit outta you."
Erin cringed. "Actually, I'm bolting, I just gotta find my sister and
my friend. AJ sent them to hang with Nick."
"Oh, yeah. He sent those two off so you two could be alone." He
didn't sound happy.
"Look buddy, I don't know what your problem is. He chased after me. I
just want to get the hell outta here. You and your damn Backstreet Boys
can go back to your 'perfect' existance."
Marcus held his hands up in defeat. "Fair enough, follow me," he said,
walking back down the hall. He stopped in front of room 203 and opened
the door quietly. Suprisingly everyone was still up.
It was about four in the morning. Courtney was sitting next to Nick on
the floor. They were engulfed in a game of Mortal Kombat. Courtney kept
shoving Nick.
"You're cheating, stop it!" she shrieked.
"I am not, just because you're losing doesn't mean I'm cheating. Don't
be such a baby." He reached over and started pushing buttons on her
controller.
"Courtney," Erin said, hoping not to draw too much attention to herself.
Courtney looked up at her.
"I need to talk to you."
Courtney looked over at Nick and stuck her tongue out at him.
"I'll be right back, cheater."
He stuck his tongue back out at her. Pulling her outside, Erin shut the
door behind them.
"We have to leave. Right now. Get Emma and lets go."
"No way!" Courtney said. "Besides, Emma already bolted."
"And you let her? Look, I already loaded our stuff into the car. Say
goodbye and meet me in the lobby in a half hour," Erin said, walking
away.
"Fine!" she screamed. "But I'm not happy about this!"
***
Erin walked back into her room quietly. She didn't want to wake AJ.
Grabbing a piece of stationary and a pen, she sat at the desk in the
far corner of the room. It had to be this way. No one would
ever want her, especially AJ. If only he would've know what he
was getting himself into. She knew she wasn't worth it.
***
Thiry-two minutes later Courtney walked into the lobby.
"You are explaining everything when we get home," she said, waiting for
Erin to fish the keys from her pocket.
Back
Chapter 8
Itch
"I am evening the score.
I am cutting the umbilical cord.
Curled with my teeth against my knees,
I am scratching at my consciousness
like a bitch with fleas.
I think you'll be greatly pleased to
learn that yours was the hardest itch to
relieve."*
AJ awoke at about 5:00 in the morning. Reaching over he felt around,
realizing there was no one there. He sat up quickly and thew back the
covers. Trying not to make assumptions he looked in the bathroom and
then in the seperate bedroom. Walking over to the desk he spotted a
piece of stationary with what he concluded to be Erin's handwriting.
'She left me a Dear John letter?' he thought, slamming his fist into
the desktop. He sat down, head in hands, to read.
It wasn't so much as a Dear John letter, as a simple note. Song
lyrics.
She says, "Forget what you have to do. Pretend there is nothing outside
this room."
And like an idea she came to me, but she came too late or maybe too
soon.
I said, "Please try not to love me. Close your eyes, I'm turning on the
light. You know I have no vacancy and it's awfully cold outside
tonight."
The rain stains the brick a darker red. Slowly I'm rolling out of her
bed.
The rain stains the streets a darker black. I dress my face in stone
because I can't go back.
I feel her eyes watching me from behind the curtain of her hair.
And she says, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare."
I say, "I think I really have to go now, but oh baby, maybe someday,
maybe somehow."**
Folding the letter up he thrust it into his pocket. Marcus stuck his
head inside the door frame.
"Hey dawg, you about ready? Your woman is looking for you and she's
pretty shitty. Interview's in an hour."
AJ nodded.
Turning around he stood staring into the room. He let it soak in slowly
and then sighed deeply, turning back around and walking thru the door.
The sound of the door shutting behind him gave him goosebumps.
***
Amanda rounded the corner just as he had shut the door behind him. He
looked wounded and unable to move.
"Scared?" she asked, approaching him.
"No, why would I be?" he asked, although the look on his face hinted
otherwise.
"I'm taking a plane home in three hours. I'll have my stuff gone by the
time you guys get to Illinois," she said, obviously trying not to cry.
"Amanda...," he said, moving closer and trying to hug her.
"Don't touch me!" she sobbed. "I thought I could do this, be here with
you. It's just as bad as being home without you. And then last night.
You will never understand how humiliated I felt in front of the others.
You were off with some girl you barely even know. It's one thing to go
behind my back but you practically flaunted it." Her hand flew to her
mouth, trying to hold back another sob.
"Amanda, nothing happened. I swear. She was in need of someone. I
couldn't just leave her there. I felt responsible for her," he
said, trying not to show the tears welling up.
He knew what this meant. It was over. She threw her hands up.
"I needed you AJ. Me. Your girlfriend, remember?"
He stared at her, his emotions not registering. Seeing his blank stare
she mentally gave up. Turning around she walked away.
"What was that all about?" Marcus asked, coming up behind AJ.
"She left me man," AJ said, staring at the floor where she had been
standing.
"Two girls in one night...sorry dude." Marcus grabbed AJ by the
shoulders and tryed leading him down the hallway. AJ jerked him back,
which wasn't an easy feat considering Marcus' size compared to AJ.
"I didn't tell you that Erin left. You talked to her didn't you?" he
asked, starting to get worked up.
"Yeah, when she left this morning." Marcus sighed.
"What did she say?" AJ asked.
"Not much. I just helped her find Nick's room so she could get her
sister. She was in a pretty big hurry to leave" AJ thought for a minute
and then bolted down the hall.
***
"Are you telling me that you got nothing, not a phone number, address,
photo...nothing?" AJ yelled.
"No man, sorry. She said she was in a hurry and took my number
instead," Nick said, giving AJ a wierd look. "And stop shouting at me
man..."
***
Two days later AJ sat on the tour bus, staring out the window. Courtney
hadn't called Nick and AJ was beginning to get the feeling that she
never would. It was too late anyway.
Their last concert in Indy had just ended and he decided to leave for
Illinois right away. He couldn't let himself dwell on it. Taking the
letter from his pocket, he unfolded it. He had kept it in his pocket
throughout both shows, praying he would spot her in the crowd.
But alas, here he was, alone and feeling quite sick to his stomach. He
couldn't keep the words out of his head. They were imprinting
themselves into his memory.
"I think I really have to go now, but oh baby, maybe someday, maybe
somehow."
Erin stood outside the venue, her mind racing. Watching the tour bus
pull away she kept repeating the words inside her head.
"I think I really have to go now, but oh baby, maybe someday, maybe
somehow."
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