That Kiss
Written by Erin


You know, it's strange, I've never been too perceptive.  I've never really paid much attention to my surroundings.  But that night, in the library, I can remember the way the air smelled when he pushed through the door, and the breeze tore through the room.  I can remember looking up from my book and then looking back down, and the letters had never looked as bold and black and crisp, as they did that night.  And after it was all over, I can remember the way the fresh printed paper of the receipt smelled, as I was ripping it
from the machine.  I could feel every one of those plastic teeth puncturing the warm material as my hand pulled it taunt and away.

I sat behind the desk, my feet propped up on the counter.  Fortunately I was alone.  Had any of the "older" employees seen me like that, I would've gotten an ear full.  But, what can I say?  It was midnight and I was working the "research night" at the library.  Let me explain.  This particular night was the night before all the research papers were due for the high school seniors.  Like the good patrons we were, we decided to keep the library open all night for the seniors who waited until the last minute.  In my mind, it was like condoning their procrastination.  Anyway, back to me.  I was sitting there, feet propped up, head buried in my book.

At first, when he walked in, I didn't even look up.  But then the air whipped through the room and it smelled different.  I can't explain it.  Just different.  When I looked up, to say that I was stunned, would be an understatement.  He looked like a typical college student.  If I had to guess, around six foot tall, kinda bulky.  I would describe what he was wearing, only, I can't remember all too well.  I was too enraptured by the fact that he was Nick Carter.  I could play dumb to you...pretend like I'd been living under a rock.  I could end my story with some silly coincidence, something about how I went home and saw his video on MTV.  But I won't.  Flat out, I knew who he was.

He sauntered up to the desk.  Almost in slow motion he laid his hands on the counter, fingers spread.  They were huge.  I love hands.  He smiled warmly at me and I let my feet slip from the edge of the desk.  My feet fell with a loud thud and my chair moved back into the upright position.

"What can I help you with?"  This might have been what I said.  Or maybe it was what I was thinking.  I can only hope I was as cool and smooth as my mind would like to think.  Regardless of what I did or didn't say, he spoke next.

"I need a book.  Um, 'Of Mice and Men'."

"O, okay."  I stood and rounded the corner of the desk, coming out in front. "This way."  

It was the longest walk I'd ever taken in my life.  And in the time that it took me to guide him there, I began to doubt my ability to find the John Steinbeck section of the library.  I actually got confused and went in a circle, all because I psyched myself out.  But, regardless, we ended up where we were supposed to be.  My fingers grazed the line of books until I spotted it.  The books were packed so tightly that I had to pry it from the shelf. Once I had it safely in my hands, I looked back up at him, the first time since I had seen him when he came through the door.

"Is this all?"

"Yeah."  His voice was so husky.  It sent shivers down my spine.  "So, are you here all by yourself?"

The fact that he spoke made me become even more nervous.  It was one thing that he was just answering my questions.  But he was actually speaking to me without any reason.

"Yeah."  It was more of a laugh than just a word, spoken plain.  Out loud, it sounded stupid.  I was kicking myself for not having something more brilliant to say to him.  But, what kind of answer was he looking for?  It wasn't a calculus equation.

He smiled back at me and then spoke again, quickening my racing heart even more.  "You have a really pretty smile."

It was then that my knees buckled.  Yes, they actually buckled.  I tried to, without being too obvious, grasp the edge of the shelf behind me for support. It blew my mind, how one person could train themselves to be so in awe of someone they didn't even know or had never met.  When I look back at it now, it makes me cringe.  Well, kinda.  I mean, there I was, and I didn't know him from a stranger on the street, but he had this powerful pull over me.  And I couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.  All my body parts were betraying me, and I mean ALL.

He stared at me for a couple more seconds...seconds that passed as hours for me.  And then he spoke again.  He said the words that still echo in my mind, every second of every day.

"Can I kiss you?"

As if he had to ask.  And even though he did, as if I could actually coherently answer.  I forcefully swallowed the mammoth lump in my throat.  I may have nodded.  Probably not.  

He leaned forward and I was intensely aware of his cologne.  Not that it was overpowering, but it filled my senses like the sweet scent of a ripe peach. Just enough to fill your mind and make an imprint.

When his lips closed over mine, it was like my entire body shuddered and then sank inside out.  I felt his hands settle on my hips lightly, very gently. They guided my body closer to his.  And as our hips touched, he parted his lips and closed them again, on just my bottom lip.  I could feel his tongue just barely graze me.  His lips moved back up and he rolled his tongue inside my mouth.  For the first time I kissed him back.  I let my own tongue duel with his, and my hands covered his at my sides.  

We made out, like two hormonally enraged teenagers, in the back of the library.  I don't know how long he kissed me, but time seemed to stand still, as with all amazing kisses.  And then, we were back at the front desk.  He might have pulled away and smiled at me, grabbing my hand and leading me back.  Or, I might have pulled away and done the responsible thing, leading him back to the front.  Either way, he was still with me and my head was still spinning.

"I'll just buy it.  I don't have a card here."  

"You can use mine.  I trust you."  

'I trust you'?!  I still kick myself for saying that.  I mean, it's a library card.  I wasn't loaning him the blueprints for a nuclear warhead.  I was loaning him my library card.

After that moment, things seemed to speed by so quickly.  I performed the routine I did every day when I checked out books for others.  I tore the receipt from the machine and slid it inside the cover of the book.  Handing it to him, our hands touched again and I felt the electricity surge through my body.  

"Thanks Erin."

Looking back now, I have no idea how he knew my name.  I don't wear a name tag.  And he didn't get to look at the receipt or the computer screen.  I guess it's something that bothers me.  Some weird occurrence.  I should mull over it, wondering how he could've known my name when I never told him.  But, I'm too busy reeling, reveling...from that kiss.

That kiss.

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