Brian watched her from afar as she stared out at the sky. He still couldn’t believe after all these years she was here. Staring at her, he could see the girl that he once knew. The girl that he had shared so many memories with, good and bad. Here she stood, alone, in AJ’s back yard, her long auburn hair blowing gently in the breeze. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, mainly he wanted to explain the reasons for his actions. That in itself would be a hard thing to do, considering that today he still didn’t know why he did what he did.
Brian thought about her a lot since then. Wondered how she was, what she was doing, if she ever thought of him, if she had found love. That last question was already answered for him. He couldn’t believe out of all the girls in the world AJ had to pick her. Of course he didn’t know, none of the boys, with the exception of Kevin, or any of his new friends that he had made in the past few years knew of her. His wife knew that she was a friend of his, but she didn’t know to the extent that their relationship actually went. He thought by keeping her and what they had a secret the feelings he had for her would subside. He moved on, got married, but the memories never went away.
Mostly he could remember their infamous conversations that would last for hours on end. They would talk about anything. Movies, television, music, school gossip, current affairs, art (which was mainly just her talking), everything. They could talk all night about nothing in particular, but now he couldn’t think of a word to say to her.
Slowly, Brian walked up to the balcony she was leaning on. He stood a comfortable distance away from her, but still close enough so that they could perhaps share a conversation. She was obviously lost in thought because she didn’t even notice his presence. Brian tried to think of different things he could say to her but only came up with “hey.”
Felicity jumped a little and turned to him, her hand instinctively placed over her heart. Upon seeing him standing there, her eyes immediately turned cold and she turned back to the balcony once again staring at the sky, trying her hardest to ignore him.
“Umm… so how have you been?” Brian asked, hoping to get some kind of response from her only to receive the silent treatment. His head hung to the ground as he let out a loud sigh. He hated when people where mad at him and he always made sure to fix things as soon as possible. Knowing that he caused the hurt in her eyes aggravated him to no end. He wanted nothing more than for him to say, “I’m sorry” and for it to be all over and everyone would live happily ever after. The end. But it wouldn’t be as simple as that; it was going to take time for him to forgive him, if she ever did. He was going to make sure that did forgive him, because from the way AJ had been talking, he knew she was going to be around for a while and Brian didn’t want the tension. It wasn’t fair to anyone, especially AJ.
Brian stared at the sky and he thought of all the times they would take her old ford truck out to the woods and stare up at the sky. That was when they had the bulk of their all-night talks. “It’s been a while,” Brian said out loud knowing that he was probably not going to get any reaction from her.
“Almost eight years,” Felicity said softly. Hearing her speak Brian’s head snapped up to look in her direction. She was now looking at him, hurt and anger all wrapped up in one confused look. Brian immediately felt the need to explain himself.
“Look felicity I’m so…”
“Why did you do it Brian?” Felicity asked cutting him off. Brian opened his mouth to speak but closed it when he realized he had no explanation. He turned back to the railing and looked out at the sky. “Why?” Felicity asked again, her anger rising.
“I don’t know,” Brian said weakly.
“God Damnit Brian, I thought we really had something! I thought I meant something to you!”
“You did!” Brian defended.
“Then why did you leave me without a phone call or goodbye? One minute your there and the next your gone? What happened?” Felicity could feel herself get even angrier by the moment as she stared at the man that broke her heart many years ago. There was so much pent up anger towards him that she wanted to scream and slap him across his face. But she held back and instead glared at him with all the hurt she had inside. “Ya know, there are so many things that I’ve wanted to say to you if I ever say you again. Now that you’re here,” Felicity paused and looked him over, “you’re not worth it.”
She took one last long look at him before turning to walk away. All she wanted to do now was leave and go home so that she could relax a little. She wanted to get as far away from Brian as she could. How could he even have the audacity to talk to her after what he did? Did he even know how much she hurt him? Probably not. He was too caught up in whatever he left home for in Florida that he didn’t even bother to care what happened to her. She could remember the pain she felt when he left. It hurt so bad to know that someone she loved so much and supposedly loved her had left without a goodbye or anything. It took her so long to forget the pain and she knew that seeing him again would bring back all that pain that she never wanted to feel again.
“There you are,” Felicity heard the familiar deep voice of AJ say. She turned around and saw him coming out of the house a bottle of beer in his hands and a smile on his face. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Where did you disappear off to?” AJ asked as he walked closer to her.
“I came outside to get some fresh air,” Felicity replied softly. AJ smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her softly. When she didn’t respond to his kiss, AJ pulled away and looked down at her. He could quickly tell that something was wrong.
“You ok baby?” he asked.
Felicity sighed and nodded her head slowly. “I’m just really tired,” she lied. “I probably should get going. I still have a long ride home.”
“I thought you said you were staying here tonight?” AJ asked confused.
“No. YOU said I was staying tonight, not me,” Felicity replied with a slight smirk on her face.
“But you didn’t disagree did you?” Felicity laughed and rolled her eyes as AJ leaned into kiss her. This time she responded to his kiss and wrapped her own arms around his waist. AJ pulled away from their kiss and laid his forehead on hers. “So are you going to stay?” he asked again.
“I don’t know…” Felicity started. “I’m really tired and if I stay… well… you’ll wanna…”
AJ laughed and tightened his arms around her waist. “We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do. How about if we go upstairs and I’ll give you a back massage and then we’ll sleep in each other’s arms.”
Felicity looked at him with a big smile on her face. No one guy had ever said that they didn’t have to have sex and instead he would just do something for her. AJ was so different than all the other guys she had dated. Just standing there in his arms made her forget what had just happened. At that moment she wanted nothing more that to sleep all night in his arms. “I’d like that,” she said softly.
AJ smiled and kissed her lips softly. Felicity broke away from their kiss and laid her head on his shoulder. The two stood like that for a couple minutes, silent under the moonlight. They hadn’t gotten to the pint in their relationship yet where they knew each other inside and out and could tell what the other persons mood is in a second, yet AJ knew that something was wrong but he want; going to push it. He was content with just holding her in his arms. He was falling, fast, and he could only hope that she was feeling the same way too.
AJ looked up and noticed Brian leaning against the railing staring at the sky. “Hey Rok,” he yelled trying to get his attention. Brian turned away and looked at the couple wrapped up in each other’s arms. He felt a weird sensation of jealousy as he saw AJ’s arms wrapped around the same body that he had held several times before. “The wife is lookin’ for you. She said he wants to head home.”
Brian nodded his head and took one last quick look at the stars before heading towards the house. As he went in he looked at AJ and saw him looking at Felicity adoringly. She deserved to be treated like the wonderful person she was. At least he knew that AJ would do that for her.
“I’ll see ya later AJ,” Brian said softly. AJ looked up at him and smiled.
“Glad you could make it man,” he replied.
Felicity turned her head slightly to look at Brian. They two shared an intense star before Felicity finally looked away and buried her head in AJ’s chest. Brian went into the house with his head hung low and his heart aching for the pain that was evident in her eyes.
Chapter 5
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