After we ate the pizza and threw away the remaining 2 pieces, we walked around the park, just talking and having a good time. I never had so much peace since the day Justin told me he loved me. That was a long time ago too.
The trees’ leaves ruffled slightly in the weak wind. The moon was just peeking from behind the misty looking clouds. The stars twinkled in the dark blue sky. To me it was the perfect weather for an evening stroll.
“So you’ve lived here for all your life?”
“Pretty much. I’d love to get out of here someday though,” I replied, watching my feet.
I inhaled sharply when JC grabbed my hand, but quickly adjusted to the comforting warmth of his soft hand. Well, maybe not COMPLETELY.
“Maybe someday we could go somewhere.”
“We?”
“Yeah. Like California or something. Then we could spend some time together. Without Justin making you feel miserable every few hours,” JC smiled.
I smiled back at him as I thought about his offer. California sounded good to me. The winters in Minnesota were bitter and cold. Spending time with JC sounded very good to me.
“Maybe we will JC.”
After about another half hour we decided to go back home since it was 10 already.
I sighed once we got to my door. I never wanted this blissful night toend so soon. And when we were finally having so much fun.
“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school huh?”
“Yeah. Maybe I could walk you,” he suggested.
“That would be nice.”
I sighed again as a few long seconds passed by. I opened my mouth to say something, but I was stopped when JC kissed me. It lasted for probably only 5 seconds, but it didn’t change the fact that it made my day, or probably my life. The feeling was so uplifting. It made me feel like I could fly away.
His cerulean eyes sparkled in the moonlight as I stared into them, practically seeing my own face looking back at me.
After a long pause I reluctantly said, “Bye JC.”
“Bye Rena.”
I watched him leave. He turned around once to wave slightly before he disappeared into his house. Only then did I even touch the cool metal doorknob. I opened the burgundy door and stepped inside, smiling to myself.
“Serena is that you?” called Aunt Chloe.
“Yes it’s me,” I called back, taking off my shoes. “I was just out and-” I stopped when I saw Justin sitting at the table, drinking a hot cocoa with my aunts.
“Hi Serena.”
“Hi. What’re you doing here?” I asked him.
“I just wanted to drop by and say hello.”
“More like stay here for dinner and afterwards,” muttered my ginger colored longhaired cat, Stella.
I nudged her lightly with my foot, making her stop talking.
“Justin was just telling us about his day at school.” Aunt Chelsea sipped from her mug.
Aunt Chelsea had always adored Justin from the minute he walked throughthe door. She would try and talk to him every chance she got. Well, here was her chance.
“It was interesting to hear about a janitor slip on a puddle of water,” Aunt Chloe commented sarcastically.
“Well, I have school tomorrow so I’m just gonna go to bed now,” I excused, turning to the stairs.
“Serena wait,” Justin interrupted.
I turned around hesitantly. “What?” Then I realized that my aunts left.
Justin stood up and walked over to me. “Do you really like JC?”
I blinked. “What?”
“Do you like JC?” he repeated.
I looked away from him and replied, “I guess I do.”
“You do or you don’t. Pick one.”
I pursed my lips nervously. “Yes I do.”
“Oh.”
I could hear the disappointment in his voice. Then I looked into his eyes. Right then I could’ve stabbed myself with the hurt in his dull blue eyes.
“I’m sorry Justin. I really am. It’s just…”
“You hate me.”
“No! I don’t hate you. I just got hurt too much when I went out with you. Sure for about 7 months you were everything I wanted, but… then with the teams, you never had time for me. You wouldn’t even return my calls. I would spend days feeling depressed because of that. I loved you Justin. I know you love me, but it just didn’t feel like it. JC is the sweetest guy Justin. And somehow, I know he wouldn’t hurt me. Ever. He’s just too caring. Maybe you’ll understand that someday.” I directed my eyes down to the ground when I saw his eyes glisten.
“How many times do I have to tell you?” he choked. “I never wanted to hurt you! You mean everything to me. I just had things to do Serena. You know I love you. I love you more than anything. Even more than my life. Can’t you understand that?”
“Just-”
He continued as if I never said a word, “I always dreamed of marrying you and spending the rest of my life with you. I never meant for anything to happen to you, and I hate myself for making that mistake. I still want to marry you, even more than before. You’re my life Serena. Please… I need you. Please take me back.”
My tears fell and hit the linoleum with little splashes. “I always wanted that too Justin. But when you said that winning was more important-”
“I never said that!”
“It’s what I heard. When I broke up with you, I just wanted to die and never live again. That’s how much you hurt me. I hate feeling neglected Justin. I cared so much for you. You were like my other half of my heart. But when you did that…it was like you ripped my heart from my chest and stomped all over it. I hated guys for about a month. I never wanted to be hurt again,” I said softly.
“God Serena don’t you know how much you mean to me?” he asked. “If you asked me to dive into an ocean full of sharks, I’ll do it. If you asked me to sacrifice everything I own, I’ll do it. If you asked me to walk through the Antarctic in my summer clothes I’ll do it. I’d do anything for you. Nothing’s ever too much for you to ask.”
“Then would you give up your positions on the team?” I asked.
“Yeah. Even that.”
I swallowed thickly. Either this would be the best decision or the worst decision of my life. “Would you…let me go?”
His eyes became blank. “Let you go?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t,” he said quietly.
I stepped closer. “Please Justin.”
“I can’t ever let you go Serena. You mean too much to me.”
I looked up at his eyes. “You have to.”
“No I don’t. We can just get back together and be happy,” he said, practically pleading.
“I can’t do that Justin. Please,” I begged, “let me go.”
He just stared at me with his teary eyes. He took a deep breath. “I will on one condition.”
“What?”
“Just one more kiss,” he requested, holding my hand.
I thought about it. What’s one gonna hurt? “Just one more,” I approved.
Almost instantly Justin bent his head down and he pressed his lips onto mine. His lips moved eagerly as my mind spun with thoughts. His arms circled tightly around my waist. By instinct my arms went around his neck. In the moment I lost myself and my thoughts completely, feeling myself getting lost in his kiss. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, I parted from him. My arms were still around his neck as his arms were still around my waist.
I was beginning to have doubts about my decision.
“I love you Serena,” Justin whispered to me.
My heart was aching to say the words… but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the guts to. “I know,” I responded.
“I know you know. I just wanted to tell you one last time,” he said, a tear running down his cheek.
I put my hand over the tear, on his cheek. Justin put his hand over mine.
“I just want you to know that I’ll never have another girlfriend if it wasn’t you.”
“I don’t want for that to happen. You should be able to have other girlfriends.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. Not after you.”
“I’m sorry.” I stepped back from him, but he still had my hand.
He bit his lip and he pulled out a small box.
My breath caught in my chest.
“I-I was gonna ask you… to marry me… before you broke up with me… but I guess I can’t anymore,” he said softly, opening the box with one hand.
The beautiful gold band shimmered and the small ruby glistened. Four small lime green stones circled it.
“Justin…” I felt touched, confused, depressed, guilty, and regret all at the same time. I also felt so torn.
He went on. “I know you probably don’t love me like I love you, but I want you to wear it. Just so you don’t forget me.”
“I could never forget you,” I protested.
“Would you wear it?” he asked, holding out the ring.
“I’d be honored.”
Tears hit my hand as he put the ring on my middle right finger.
Right then I felt so undeserving. I didn’t DESERVE his ring that he probably spent so much money on; I didn’t DESERVE his eternal love; I didn’t deserve it at all.
Justin looked up at me. “I might be able to let you out on your own, but that doesn’t mean I’ll stop loving you.”
He went to the back door.
“Justin.”
He turned around, his right hand on the doorknob.
“I love you too.”
He had something of a smile on his face, but then faded into a frown and he left me, my sight, my arms, and my heart.