Nick stood there for the longest time, ignoring the cold breeze stinging his face. He thrust his hands into his front pockets, staring down at the flowers that covered the freshly dug dirt.

“Nick?”

Jessica gently touched the sleeve on Nick’s coat. She looked up at his face. Although he was wearing sunglassed, it still didn’t conceal the tears and and the hurt look that Nick’s eyes contained.

“Nick, we’re gonna be late for our flight, we have to get to the airport,” Jess softly spoke.

Nick still refused to move. Finally after what seemed like an eternity to Jessica, Nick sighed.

“He told me he was always going to be here for me. Brian promised me!” Nick’s voice broke as he spoke.

Jess rubbed his arm, attempting to comfort him. “I know babe, I know. But in a way he’s still here he----”

“Don’t start off with that bullshit that he’s around us,” Nick threw his hands up in the air for emphasis. “He’s not, he’s dead.....gone. Ain’t nothing gonna change that either. It’s all my fault. I was the stupid idiot that thought he could handle the tour. You told me not to, but I never listened. I am such an ass for thinking I had this under control!”

The words cut through Jess as she listened. She didn’t know what she could say that would ease the hurt Nick was feeling. She could tell he was in a lot of emotional pain and she was afraid anything she said at this point could put him into a deeper rage.

This was something that Brian would be able to fix, but now it was up to Jess to try and figure out how to fix it.

“Nick, it’s not your fault, it was Brian’s time to go,” Jess quietly stated.

Nick let out a sarcastic laugh at Jessica’s statement.

“Time to go? How do you figure that?”

“It was in God’s plans. It was time for Brian to go home to Heaven,” Jess replied.

Nick rolled his eyes and laughed. “God’s plans? There is no god!”

Jess’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“That’s right, you heard me. Let’s examine this, okay? Brian was always and forever praying and reading his little Bible at night. Where did that get him? Six feet under. What type of god would take a guy in the prime of his life, the world at his feet and kill him? I can’t imagine a god doing something that sick,” Nick spat out angrily.

Jessica burst into tears. “Please Nick, listen to what you’re saying! You are taking everything that Brian lived for and believed in and you are turning it against him and against yourself.”

Nick finally broke down into heart wrenching sobs. “I don’t know what to believe in anymore. A part of me is here,” Nick pointed at the grave. “How can I leave?”

Jess reached and pulled a sweetheart yellow rose from one of the arrangements that laid on the grave.

“This was one of Brian’s favorite flowers,” she said as she held it out for Nick to take. “it’s not much, but it’s something to hold onto until you can come back to Kentucky to the grave.”

Nick took the rose from Jess and wrapped his arms around her and broke down and let everything he was feeling go. His cries sounded as if they came from the center of his soul.