Nick stood there for the longest time, ignoring the cold
breeze stinging his face. He thrust his hands into his front
pockets, staring down at the flowers that covered the
freshly dug dirt.
“Nick?”
Jessica gently touched the sleeve on Nick’s coat. She looked
up at his face. Although he was wearing sunglassed, it still
didn’t conceal the tears and and the hurt look that Nick’s
eyes contained.
“Nick, we’re gonna be late for our flight, we have to get to
the airport,” Jess softly spoke.
Nick still refused to move. Finally after what seemed like
an eternity to Jessica, Nick sighed.
“He told me he was always going to be here for me. Brian
promised me!” Nick’s voice broke as he spoke.
Jess rubbed his arm, attempting to comfort him. “I know
babe, I know. But in a way he’s still here he----”
“Don’t start off with that bullshit that he’s around us,”
Nick threw his hands up in the air for emphasis. “He’s not,
he’s dead.....gone. Ain’t nothing gonna change that either.
It’s all my fault. I was the stupid idiot that thought he
could handle the tour. You told me not to, but I never
listened. I am such an ass for thinking I had this under
control!”
The words cut through Jess as she listened. She didn’t know
what she could say that would ease the hurt Nick was
feeling. She could tell he was in a lot of emotional pain
and she was afraid anything she said at this point could put
him into a deeper rage.
This was something that Brian would be able to fix, but now
it was up to Jess to try and figure out how to fix it.
“Nick, it’s not your fault, it was Brian’s time to go,” Jess
quietly stated.
Nick let out a sarcastic laugh at Jessica’s statement.
“Time to go? How do you figure that?”
“It was in God’s plans. It was time for Brian to go home to
Heaven,” Jess replied.
Nick rolled his eyes and laughed. “God’s plans? There is no
god!”
Jess’s mouth dropped open in shock.
“That’s right, you heard me. Let’s examine this, okay? Brian
was always and forever praying and reading his little Bible
at night. Where did that get him? Six feet under. What type
of god would take a guy in the prime of his life, the world
at his feet and kill him? I can’t imagine a god doing
something that sick,” Nick spat out angrily.
Jessica burst into tears. “Please Nick, listen to what
you’re saying! You are taking everything that Brian lived
for and believed in and you are turning it against him and
against yourself.”
Nick finally broke down into heart wrenching sobs. “I don’t
know what to believe in anymore. A part of me is here,” Nick
pointed at the grave. “How can I leave?”
Jess reached and pulled a sweetheart yellow rose from one of
the arrangements that laid on the grave.
“This was one of Brian’s favorite flowers,” she said as she
held it out for Nick to take. “it’s not much, but it’s
something to hold onto until you can come back to Kentucky
to the grave.”
Nick took the rose from Jess and wrapped his arms around her
and broke down and let everything he was feeling go. His
cries sounded as if they came from the center of his soul.
Chapter 52
