When I got home in a mad rush I picked out the clothes I was going to wear when Lynn and I went out. I went into the bathroom prepared to get a shower but suddenly stopped to look in the mirror. At the slight smirk that I held on my lips.How was it that just two days before I had been deep in depression and suddenly I was refreshed. Preparing for a date with someone new.
"What's up with you Lance?" a voice from behine me asked. I looked up into the mirror to realize that Chris was behind me.
"What did you do just bardge in my house again? And what do you mean what's up with me?" I asked talking into the mirror at him.
He shrugged,"I dunno, you had this deep pity trip going on just a few days ago. But now your like more than happy. And whats with you picking up this new writer?" he asked suspicioulsy.
"Picking her up?" I cried,"You act like she's some prostitute that I met at the corner."
Chris sighed, "I mean, you spent all last night with her, came in late with her, and now you are going out with her tonight. And I watched you at the meeting today."
"So..."I trailed off.
"You were staring at her the entire time. I mean I admit she's pretty and all but... that's not like you to completely..." Chris trailed off.
"Okay, its only been one day of my 'outlandish' activities. What's the biggie. I mean Joey's out with new women every night. And god only knows what he does with them. Me, I just took her out for some coffee and blues, then today I asked her out when Joey was going to. Who would you prefer to ask her out, me or Joey?" I cried spinning around to face him.
"That's not what I meant, I just want to remind you not to mix business with pleasure." Chris replied trying to get back on the offensive.
"Ya know, why are you coming to me about this now? Maybe if this continued for a couple weeks or something and I was throwing the group out the window for her. But no, so get over it. And besides someone needed to welcome her in a more suitable manner, not a night club where you all go off to dance with other women and leave her alone with JOE!" I said.
"It's just that Lance we all know you are a sensitive person, we just don't want to see you get hurt again like you have so many times before. But, sorry for caring..."Chris apologized and left the room leaving me to get prepared.
After that my blood was boiling and my mind racing.Why would they come attack me like that? I shook it off and got in the shower.
After a hot shower I got out, and slung the towel around my waist. I shaved, did my hair, and then got dressed. I had to admit I looked handsome in a pair of black leather pants, a white undershirt, and a black coat.
Checking my watch it read 6:20pm. Punctuality was everything I knew and got in my car already knowing the apartment complex that JIVE had set her up with.
Half way there was when it hit me. Why was I so conserned with a woman who I had just met. Suddenly taking someone out and stopping at a flower shop to pick up flowers to impress her. Then I realized that I was over Danielle, and was moving on to someone else. That someone being the last person anyone wanted me to be interested in.
After picking up a single white rose for her I got in the car and headed to her apartment. And when I found myself ringing the doorbell it was 6:45pm.
A moment later the door was opened by Lynn, standing there in a black spagetti top and shorts.
"Hi Lynn." I said smiling at the brunette.
"Hi Lance... wow you're here early." she noted opening the door farther for me to come in.
"This... is for you. " I said extending the white rose to her.
She smiled, her eyes glittering with awe, "Lance, this is so sweet of you. No one has ever been this nice to me."
With that she made me blush.
"So what are we doing tonight?" she asked setting the flower in a crystal vase.
He smiled bashfully, " I know this sounds really well, stupid, but I have no idea. I figured we could collaborate on our destination. Since I want you to feel comfortable about wherever we are going,and ya know help you to feel comfortable around me."
"Oh that's so sweet of you. And anyways I already feel comfortable with you. The other guys... I dunno. But you are so nice and very polite. Any way about tonight do you have any ideas... cuz you know I don't really know Orlando."she said.
I nodded,"Yeah, um there are a lot of great restaurants here, places to dance, there is a very nice park, and it is on a cliff so it over looks most of the city and at night its beautiful." I said admiring the look of curiousity see gave me as she sat the flower in a vase down on the table.
"That would be nice, and a new girl could certainly use a stop at some of the nice places in the city." she said, "Um, give me a couple minutes and we can leave... okay?" she asked.
I nodded with a smile, "Sounds great."
She smiled and walked into what must have been the bedroom and shut the door behind her. In the mean time I was left in the living room trying not to feel so out of place in this woman's "home". I sat down on the couch, and even though it was comfortable and cosy I still felt so strange like being their was wrong.
Suddenly Chris' words came back to me.
I just want to remind you not to mix business with pleasure
I had denied having any feelings for her, how could I, I had only known her for two days.
Of course then I had to question why I had been out to buy her a rose and what was supposed to be me trying to rescue her from Joey. Or was I trying to impress. Trying to follow my subconcious thoughts about her.
"Okay, I'm ready... how do I look?" she asked interrupting my thoughts as she opened her bedroom door. Revealing herself in black jean capris and a black halter top. Her hair her hair clipped back and a few messy but sexy pieces of hair framing her face.
"Beautiful." I breathed, sounding a little more uneasy than I would have liked.
She smiled with gratitude, "Thank you. Ready?" she asked picking up her keys.
"Yep. So... let's go. " I said nodding.
She stepped into the living room and as I stood from the couch she linked her arm with mine, and guided me out the door.
From beside her I could smell her perfume, what smelled like a tasty mixture of cocunut and vanilla. And I couldn't help but breathe in deeper, and feel myself slip a little bit more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We had been there for hours, on that cliff. We had planned on getting something to eat, but now the only thing open was the Tasty Freeze down on 16th. And neither one of us was too willing to leave the free show put on by the sunset and the stars coming out one by one to go.
" So... who do you start writing with tomorrow?" I asked leaning back on my elbows for support.
"Joey." she said glancing back at me from the position she sat in with her knees bent to her chest.
"Joey, ah man that's harsh. What are going to do about him?" I asked only imaging the two alone. Joey moving up on her with his non-impressive charm. I had seen it too many times.
"What do you mean, what can I do? I'll just tell him I'm not interested if anything happens. 'Cos other than being a co-worker or what ever I'm not interested in a relationship." she explained never looking back at me.
With her words I suddenly felt shot down, like someone had slapped me hard across the face leaving a burning red mark. I had been branded. She was not even open to the possiblity of mixing business with relationship? And in the case with Joey that was good, but suddenly I realized I had no possiblity with her. And I had just started to like her.
"Are you already in a relationship or are you just dead set against Joey?" I asked.
"No, I'm not in a relationship. And I haven't been in one for a long time. I try to stay away from a lot of that because I'm afraid I'll get hurt, or worse." she said.
I watched as a tear rolled down her eye, "Don't mind me for asking but, do you mind telling me what happened?"
She wiped the single tear from her eye and just looked back up at the sky, leaving the air between us dead silent. I thought she was against any response and was going to let it go. That was until she interrupted our tense silence.
"When I was a week old, my mother abandoned me in an orphanage run by Catholic nuns. I lived there till I was six. Because of my Native American background and the prejudice that went on in our area of the western US, the nuns felt it was best, for me to be sent somewhere else, to increase my chances of being adopted. So they sent me to New York, and from their I was tossed around until I finally ended up with a foster family in Boston. They were great and all at first, but they just were not willing to deal with someone with the kind of history I had, of never being wanted. It was like I was constantly under observation. No one was ever willing to show me any emotion. Then when I was sixteen I got involved with, well, the wrong crowd. Actually I was dating the wrong person, he was very controlling." she explained suddenly drifting off in her words.
I stared at her with deep consern and sorrow for her.
And then she continued,"I thought he cared, I told him everything about me. My most inner thoughts, everything. I thought , he loved me. I honestly did. ANd I never realized the type of person he was. But I don't know what happened."
Tears flowed down her cheeks, tears of shame.
And somehow I knew what she was going to say, about her past.
"I had never, I tried to stop him, tried to get him off. Even sometimes I think of how I could have stopped him. How I could have kept him away. Keep him from doing what he did to me. Even though I know it was impossible. And then, I feel so guilty, so ashamed. So dirty, like it was my fault."
I sat up, I was unsure what to say, or even do in response to what she had just told me. It made my heart break that this woman had to go through such an experience. Could I say anything, could I touch her, make her know I cared.
I reached out and touched her shoulder, her gently curved shoulders trembling under my finger tips.
"You know it was not your fault." I pointed out, trying to reasure her and put the sparkle back into her eyes and the smile back onto her face.
"That's not what everyone else said. My foster parents, they, they kicked me out after that, saying that it was only expected that I would end up in a situation after all my promiscuous activities." she said sobbing only harder.
I moved closer now putting my arm around her to trying to comfort her. And she easily recieved my embrace, putting her head against my chest and sobbing against me.
"But it wasn't true, that was the first time, and it was awful, awful, I never wanted it to happen." she said her tears coming even harder.
Now I felt so miserable for prodding into her personal life, reopening a deep wound that I knew would never fully heal. I wanted to hold her like that forever. Her smooth black hair flowing in between my fingers, her olive skin glistening by the moon's light. And her body and mind finding refuge in me. I never wanted to let her go, all I wanted to do was make her happy, and take away all her pain. I just hoped one day I would get the opportunity.
"I was so alone, so alone. I don't want to be alone again." she whispered as her sobs began to calm.
I felt my eyes water with such pity for her,"I'm so sorry that happened to you." I said.
Slowly she pulled away, regaining herself. She wiped her tears away and under her eyes the running mascara from her face.
"I'm sorry Lynn, for making you tell me that." I said looking up at her.
She shook her head,"No, no its okay. I needed that. Needed to tell someone. Needed to vent. " she forced a soft smile,"I'm just glad, you were the one open to listen to me. Thank you Lance."
With that she returned her head to rest on my chest again, and my embrace around her returned.