Okay, so, let’s make the horizon a little broader...is that the right thing to say...anyway, I’m gonna get over me fears and get married to JC. As far as Justin goes, right now, he so wants to do me but he can’t ‘cause *sigh* I belong to JC now. I know you’re all saying, but Jenn, you’re deathly afraid of JC, why on Earth did you get married to him!?! Well, I’ll tell you why! A six-pack, a non-crack head smile, musical talent, enticing little Jazz vershins and a whole lotta alcohol can go a long way, lemme tell ya! And he proposed to me by singing the end verse to “The Colour Of My Love” (“and with this ring, our lives will start, swearing that we’ll never part, I offer what you cannot buy, devoted love, until we die”) all by himself without backup vocals or anything! It was way to sweet and going out with him and being scared of him at the same time seemed to make a good combo for some sick twisted reason...anyway, he’s still my husband and I still love him. So, let’s show you around the place! Mrs and Mr. Chasez welcome you to, “El Crackpipe!!!”.....JC baby, that’s not what you say, it’s the Chasez Residence...well anyway, follow me.
Sex Life: ~It’s pretty damn good!!! JC’s strong bay-bee, prrrrr. Except alot of times, my phobia of JC kicks in, and I’m usually running away from him or hiding under the sheets or behind anything that obstructs his view of me or hides me completely and he thinks I’m playing an erotic game of some sort. When actually, I’m running for my life! It seems he just can’t get it through his head that he scares the living hell out of me. You’d think that since this boy’s so strong, fucking him almost every night would be tiring, well lemme tell you, this is JC we’re talking about, he may be strong, but once you’ve had that, you’re gonna go back, no matter how strong he is. He can be so passionate and soft, it seems at night, he doesn’t have any muscle spasms at all or anything! He’s just so nice to be with in bed.
Food: ~It’s usually take out, if not, JC takes me out to a restaurant. Hey, he’s actually not at all a bad cook! He’s a very good cook! He bakes well...he knows his white powders very, VERY good...a little too good if I say so myself, he can distinguish baking powder from baking soda and corn starch and sugar from salt and icing sugar...ish, anyway. He doesn’t like me in the kitchen when he bakes, but every time he’s done in the kitchen, he comes out and his belt seems to be missing, there’s used syringes in the garbage and his belt seems to turn up under the stove most of the time. Neeeext...oh, you found a belt sticking out from under the fridge? *Sigh* yeah, yeah, that’s JC’s alright! Ish, anyway...as I was saying, neeeext up...
Bathroom/Powder Room: ~Okay, I call it a bathroom, but JC INSISTS on calling it the Powder Room. *Sigh* Yes JC, a good little boy just HAS to go into the Powder Room to freshen up!! I like the size of this bathroom, it’s big enough for the both of us and more! Let’s see, there isn’t much here...not much at all...pardon? What did you say...oh, the answer to your question is yes, me and JC do take baths together...yes, that explains the size of the big round tub and all the candles.
Rec Room/Recording Studio: ~Oh come now! You can’t be married to JC and not have a recording studio. Now, what makes you think I have different instruments? Here’s JC’s acoustic and electric Guitar, and his grand piano. I lie on top of it singing while he plays, hehehe. Here’s JC’s collection of Vintage Microphones, and here’s my instruments, Keyboard, Piano, Guitar, Bohdran and Fiddle, and here’s the fiddlestick...or bow, whatever you please. It goes with the Fiddle *duh* and that’s what I use to fend JC off when he’s chasing me and I’m cornered in the Studio. It seems to work because when I hold it out in front of me horizontally, he backs off, it’s really sharp you know! I think he’d rather be clutching the mic then a bleeding neck...anyway. Here’s the bar and JC’s beloved little balance or scale or whatever, he uses it quite a bit. I make him buy Canadian beer, I wouldn’t feel at all comfortable without it, and I’m the only one who drinks it so it lasts alot longer. JC won’t drink it, he says it’s way to strong and makes him drunk faster...oh well, I tried to get him to drink it and he won’t so all the more for me! Cheers!
Living Room:
~There’s a wild, tiger skin pattern rug...I said pattern, it’s not real tiger skin, under the glass coffee table, the table isn’t there sometimes *ahem* because me and JC need more space for our..activities...the couch isn’t big enough so we continue our activities on the rug. Yes, there’s the couch, it’s a fluffy white pull out kind, not with cushions, it’s one whole cushion just folded in the middle to make a couch, y’know? Then you just pull it flat to make a bed. Then there’s a white leather bean bag in the corner. Surround sound speakers (we both love our music loud), JC’s rather large (I know JC’s rather large *wink*) CD rack and my larger CD rack. There’s the fireplace, and there’s the ashes to JC’s small recent porn collection...burned by yours truly. Oh, he was SO asking for it when he bought all of those, so I *ahem* punished him, unfortunately, he really enjoyed the punishment so much he wanted the punishment to last longer. *Sigh* what can I do? I’m married to JC, so of course the punishment lasted longer!
Major props to my girl Tammy over at Crunk Baby Crunk: Get Jo’ Party On for giving me some ideas for my marriage to JC and taking away my JC idea block because of my JC Phobia *yo, how many times did I say JC?*
