I look around, I see you here.
My big question: can you hear
My scream? Why am I so sad?
And then the next second mad?
I really don’t know what to do.
I never asked to be this blue.
I don’t want to be hurt or sad.
I’m so sorry if this makes you mad.
You say that this is really nothing,
Then why do I want to feel something?
Tell me, what is it like to laugh
And not hide in a hot bath?
I look now at my red wrists
And watch as my hands become fists
I have dropped the knife I had held
And I had watched it as it fell
Shit what the Hell do I do
If I go my dreams won’t come true
Now I rattle the bottle full of pills
And I look at this picture until
I forget when he held my hand
Now he is grown he has to be a man
I have never felt so lost and alone
Someone tell me where is home
now music blasts in my room
your shouting brings instant doom
to the safe haven that i have made
now in you burst to invade
have i ever felt safe in my life
is anyone listening to my strife
everyone speaks of some light
but that just can not be right
i feel some sort of bond holding me
won’t someone come and set me free
i need held i need kissed
when i’m gone i won’t be missed
September 12, 2001