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Its a cold, bitter day in September. Louis J. Pearlmen has passed away from a heart attack, and all his Boyband and girlband creations have come together to celebrate.......huh....mourn over the loss of Big Poppa.

{*N Sync come walking into the church.}

JOEY: Man.....you told me there was gonna be some hotties here, dude. I actually dont see any, actually!

JUSTIN:{wearing a hanky on his head} Dawg. I swear to gawd der ist gonna be some FIONE hunnies crawling in dis mug tonight. Just yos wait and see, Big man.

JOEY: There isnt even any food!{Starts to whine and stamp his foot}

JC: Joey! Behave, or I will take you outside and spank you AGAIN. Dont make me loose my temper again.

CRIS: Wheres The Backstreets? I wanna tease Kev about being the oldest Boyband member around.

LANCE:{smiles and claps his hands together}Oh yesssssssss. I want to see what my Nicky is wearing. Oh goody!! Oh Goody!

{The Syncers take a seat in the church and begin primping their hair and comparing WWJD bracelets. A few minutes later, there is commotion in the back room as BSB make their grand entrance......}

JOEY: Day-um, Justin, actually you were right about the hunnies. Whose that blonde girl with the BSB's?

JUSTIN: {strains his neck to get a better look} Yo..which punk you talkin 'bout? I see 3 blonde bitches ovah der.

JOEY: The one with the HUGE mambos!

JC: Mambos? What the fuck, Joey?

CRIS: {rolls his eyes} I think hes referring to Leighanne, Brian's girl.

JC: OH! Brian's my fave Backstreet Boy!

{BSB walk past NSYNC, each with their respected girlfriend clamped to their arms. Leighanne sashays past Joey, who's tongue is on the floor. Brian is the first one to reach Lou's casket....}

BRIAN: {reaches into this pocket and pulls out a bottle of Holy Water} May God redeem you of your evil and scrupolous ways. I say, Lord Jesus Christ, clense this poor man's soul of sin and forgive him for the shit he put us through......{gets interuppted by NSYNC}

NSYNC: {in unison} AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NICK: {laughs out loud} Finally, we all agree on something.

LANCE: {smiles at Nick} Hey Nick. Remember the last time we were together?

NICK:{hides behind one of Leighanne`s boobs} Hide me!! Hes gonna try and give me another horseback riding lesson!

BRIAN: {Pushes Nick off his girlfriend} So what! Horse back riding was used way back in the days of Jesus!

NICK: {hides behind Kev}Who said anything about horses??

{Again commotion is heard and LFO come walkin into the church.}

RICH: YO! I wonder why Jenifer Love broke up with me......

DEVIN: Because she looked at me.

BRAD: Yuck......I cant believe I have to look at you.

{THEY WALK OVER TO PEARLMENS CASKET AND THROW SOME MONEY INSIDE OF IT AND THEN GO AND SIT DOWN.}

CHRIS: What the fuck are u doing?!

BRAD: Well, we felt left out since he took money from you and Backstreet. So we gave him a few cnotes.

DEVIN: {starts to say something} Yeah and...

JSUTIN: GOOD GAWD...you iz an ugly basTURD. What the fuck was Lou thinking when joined LFO. You best stay away from me cuz I be Justin Timberlake and I be fucking Britney Spears!

RICH: {crying} Stop it...I'm really emotional.

KEVIN: Rich...I know you're hurting.....

RICH: Yeah....Jennifer dumped me for that Monkey Boy from Take 5....

KEVIN: Right now you feel like you can never love again....

AJ: Shut up, man. You talk to slow.

NICK: {hides behind Devon} Maybe if I hide behind your ugly ass, Lance wont come near me.....

JC: Man, you guys are whack. I'm going to pay my repsects to Lou.

{JC walks up to Lou's casket and begins to whimper.....}

BRIAN: {sees JC's despair} JC..my dear brother in Christ, why are you crying?

JC: He hid my crack/caffeine stash and now that hes dead, I'll never be able to find it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AJ: {hits his forhead} I knew he got that shiiiiiiiiit from somewhere!

JC: {Wide eyed, he starts grabbing onto AJs shirt} You know where it is?!

AJ: {Pulls away} Hells Yea. He sold it to me.........but, to get it back, its gonna cost you.

JC: WHAT?! Your selling my crack BACK to me?!

JUSTIN: CAT FIGHT, MY BROTHA! {starts booty bouncing on the floor)

JC AND AJ START TO YELL AT EACH OTHER ABOUT THE CRACK.....

ALL OF A SUDDEN 5 GIRLS COME WALKING INTO THE CHURCH WEARING BLACK MINI SKIRTS, AND HIGH HEEL SHOES, AND LITTLE BLACK TOPS TO MATCH.

JOEY:{Tongue moves away from Leighanne and towards the girls} My baby, Danay is here!!

JUSTIN: {Hides behind Lance} FUCK! If Veronica sees me, Im so damn busted, G! She keeps wanting to borrow mah style, dawg. And Now shes gotz mah hair.

KEVIN:IIIII...........WIIIIIISH............WEEEEEEEEE..........COOOOOOOOULLLLLD..ALLLL.........GET.......BACK.......TOOOOOOO......WHAAAAAT.......WE..ARRRREEEEEEEEE.........HErrrrrrrrreeee..........FORRRRRRRR....

CHRIS: Damn, dude.......you talk slow!!!

BRIAN: Now now...calm down, Brother Chris. We are all here to mourn the death of a fat man who stole all our money and claimed to be our Big Poppa.

JUSTIN: Dat fat bastard had my Benz repo'd dawg. I could give a rat's shitty ass if he died, yo! Wheres da Hoopers Hooch, y'all? I needz to git my drink ON, yaknowwhatimsayin??

NICK: You know, Justin does have a point. He took my TV away from me. I had no Sega Dreamcast for 2 WHOLE DAYS! {begins to tear up at the very thought of it}

JOEY: Actually, he made my sex life better, actually. We do owe him something.

AJ: Lets go to Zuma Beach and party...this place is boring!

INNOSENSE: {in unison}DANCE WITH ME, JOEY!!!

JC: {slaps forehead} Why do we still communicate with them?!

JUSTIN: One reason........MMC contract my brotha. And child support.

{N SYNC AND INOSENSE LEAVE THE FUNERAL.}

NICK: Where are they going?! Lance has my underwear!

BRIAN:{put hands together to pray} Lord, please help me

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