Its a cold, bitter day in September. Louis J. Pearlmen has passed away from a heart attack, and all his Boyband and girlband creations have come together to celebrate.......huh....mourn over the loss of Big Poppa.
JOEY: Man.....you told me there was gonna be some hotties here, dude. I actually dont see any, actually!
JUSTIN:{wearing a hanky on his head} Dawg. I swear to gawd der ist gonna be some FIONE hunnies crawling in dis mug tonight. Just yos wait and see, Big man.
JOEY: There isnt even any food!{Starts to whine and stamp his foot}
JC: Joey! Behave, or I will take you outside and spank you AGAIN. Dont make me loose my temper again.
CRIS: Wheres The Backstreets? I wanna tease Kev about being the oldest Boyband member around.
LANCE:{smiles and claps his hands together}Oh yesssssssss. I want to see what my Nicky is wearing. Oh goody!! Oh Goody!
JOEY: Day-um, Justin, actually you were right about the hunnies. Whose that blonde girl with the BSB's?
JUSTIN: {strains his neck to get a better look} Yo..which punk you talkin 'bout? I see 3 blonde bitches ovah der.
JOEY: The one with the HUGE mambos!
JC: Mambos? What the fuck, Joey?
CRIS: {rolls his eyes} I think hes referring to Leighanne, Brian's girl.
JC: OH! Brian's my fave Backstreet Boy!
BRIAN: {reaches into this pocket and pulls out a bottle of Holy Water} May God redeem you of your evil and scrupolous ways. I say, Lord Jesus Christ, clense this poor man's soul of sin and forgive him for the shit he put us through......{gets interuppted by NSYNC}
NSYNC: {in unison} AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NICK: {laughs out loud} Finally, we all agree on something.
LANCE: {smiles at Nick} Hey Nick. Remember the last time we were together?
NICK:{hides behind one of Leighanne`s boobs} Hide me!! Hes gonna try and give me another horseback riding lesson!
BRIAN: {Pushes Nick off his girlfriend} So what! Horse back riding was used way back in the days of Jesus!
NICK: {hides behind Kev}Who said anything about horses??
RICH: YO! I wonder why Jenifer Love broke up with me......
DEVIN: Because she looked at me.
BRAD: Yuck......I cant believe I have to look at you.
CHRIS: What the fuck are u doing?!
BRAD: Well, we felt left out since he took money from you and Backstreet. So we gave him a few cnotes.
DEVIN: {starts to say something} Yeah and...
JSUTIN: GOOD GAWD...you iz an ugly basTURD. What the fuck was Lou thinking when joined LFO. You best stay away from me cuz I be Justin Timberlake and I be fucking Britney Spears!
RICH: {crying} Stop it...I'm really emotional.
KEVIN: Rich...I know you're hurting.....
RICH: Yeah....Jennifer dumped me for that Monkey Boy from Take 5....
KEVIN: Right now you feel like you can never love again....
AJ: Shut up, man. You talk to slow.
NICK: {hides behind Devon} Maybe if I hide behind your ugly ass, Lance wont come near me.....
JC: Man, you guys are whack. I'm going to pay my repsects to Lou.
BRIAN: {sees JC's despair} JC..my dear brother in Christ, why are you crying?
JC: He hid my crack/caffeine stash and now that hes dead, I'll never be able to find it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AJ: {hits his forhead} I knew he got that shiiiiiiiiit from somewhere!
JC: {Wide eyed, he starts grabbing onto AJs shirt} You know where it is?!
AJ: {Pulls away} Hells Yea. He sold it to me.........but, to get it back, its gonna cost you.
JC: WHAT?! Your selling my crack BACK to me?!
JUSTIN: CAT FIGHT, MY BROTHA! {starts booty bouncing on the floor)
JC AND AJ START TO YELL AT EACH OTHER ABOUT THE CRACK.....
ALL OF A SUDDEN 5 GIRLS COME WALKING INTO THE CHURCH WEARING BLACK MINI SKIRTS, AND HIGH HEEL SHOES, AND LITTLE BLACK TOPS TO MATCH.
JOEY:{Tongue moves away from Leighanne and towards the girls} My baby, Danay is here!!
JUSTIN: {Hides behind Lance} FUCK! If Veronica sees me, Im so damn busted, G! She keeps wanting to borrow mah style, dawg. And Now shes gotz mah hair.
KEVIN:IIIII...........WIIIIIISH............WEEEEEEEEE..........COOOOOOOOULLLLLD..ALLLL.........GET.......BACK.......TOOOOOOO......WHAAAAAT.......WE..ARRRREEEEEEEEE.........HErrrrrrrrreeee..........FORRRRRRRR....
CHRIS: Damn, dude.......you talk slow!!!
BRIAN: Now now...calm down, Brother Chris. We are all here to mourn the death of a fat man who stole all our money and claimed to be our Big Poppa.
JUSTIN: Dat fat bastard had my Benz repo'd dawg. I could give a rat's shitty ass if he died, yo! Wheres da Hoopers Hooch, y'all? I needz to git my drink ON, yaknowwhatimsayin??
NICK: You know, Justin does have a point. He took my TV away from me. I had no Sega Dreamcast for 2 WHOLE DAYS! {begins to tear up at the very thought of it}
JOEY: Actually, he made my sex life better, actually. We do owe him something.
AJ: Lets go to Zuma Beach and party...this place is boring!
INNOSENSE: {in unison}DANCE WITH ME, JOEY!!!
JC: {slaps forehead} Why do we still communicate with them?!
JUSTIN: One reason........MMC contract my brotha. And child support.
NICK: Where are they going?! Lance has my underwear!
BRIAN:{put hands together to pray} Lord, please help me