Chapter 11-

“I wonder where we’re going…” Amanda said while she put some clothes in a bag.

I laid on her bed reading a magazine.

“ok Amanda I always thought that you were a bigger BSB fan than I was, you should know where we’re going”

“oh sure miss know-it-all over here thinks she knows where we’re going” Amanda said laughing. “where then?”

“hello” I tossed her the magazine I was reading. The front cover showed a new picture of the backstreet boys and the caption read, “backstreet boys talk about new tour”

“ohhh I get it now” Amanda said “but tour? Shouldn’t they atleast tell us before just bringing us out with them?”

“well maybe that’s not even where we’re going. Its just my idea. Im sure they’ll let us know. And like you wouldn’t want to go”

“yeah but I’ll miss my parents”

“I wont”

“well anyways, im done. Lets go to your house before Nick and AJ beat us there”

“alright im ready” I got up and grabbed my jacket before walking out to Amanda’s new silver pontiac sunfire.

We drove to my house without saying much. We were both tired and busy thinking about everything that’s happened to us in the last week.

We walked up the stairs to my room and opened the door. I laughed seeing Nick and AJ sitting there looking at our school yearbook.

“hey take long enough?” AJ asked looking up at us.

“sorry…but you said pack…you never told me how much or anything so I just packed it all” Amanda shrugged going over and sitting on his lap.

“ok” he laughed

“so what about you” Nick looked over at me. “are you going to pack?”

“umm not right now. Not until you tell me where your planning on taking us. Cause for your information I was supposed to go somewhere later on”

“oh really where?” he asked

“I was going back to the beach house…”

“with who?”

“what is this 20 questions?”

“it could be, so who are you going with?”

“a friend of mine”

“a friend?” he looked over at Amanda.

“not me” she said laughing.

“Eliese isnt here so who?” he asked

“ohh so now you think I only have 2 friends” I laughed “no I was supposed to go with Matt…”

“whos that?” Nick asked

“you saw him yesterday” I said sitting down on my bed and reaching under it for my bag.

“Brianna your going with Matt?” Amanda asked, I nodded. “why?”

“cause I want to” I said keeping my attention directed at my open bag and the clothes I was throwing in it.

“umm I think you should come with us, its supposed to storm tonight.”

“I cant Amanda. I promised him we would go” I said shooting her a look.

“but you cant you have to come with us”

“you don’t even know where we’re going” I said with a frusterated sigh.

AJ and Nick sensed the tension in their conversation and AJ spoke up.

“hey should we let you two talk alone?” he asked

“no its fine” I said smiling. “now why don’t you guys tell us where we’re going”

“ok” AJ started “well we’re leaving for tour in about a week and wanted to know if you girls would come with us”

(*yah I know they arent on tour. I just wanted to write about tour…its more fun. So pretend they are*)

I looked at Amanda and stuck my tounge out at her.

She laughed “hey I’ll go”

Sighing I said “sorry to dissapoint you all, but im not going”

“why not?” Amanda asked “you know you wanna”

“actually I don’t know if I do. How about if you let me sleep on it?” I asked

“well we don’t leave for a week so take all the time you need. We just need to know by next Tuesday ok?” AJ asked

“yeah sure” I said

“so if you don’t know if your going…why are you packing?” Nick asked

“I told you, im going to the beach house tonight.”

“oh” everyone said.

“hey wait. If we’re not leaving for a week, why did I have to pack?” Amanda asked

“well cause we’re leaving in three days for florida so that we can pack and then meet the bus. So you would either have to come with us then or take a plane down next week. Whatever you want, but I want you to come with me on Saturday” AJ explained

“ok I will” she said smiling at him.

“so Bree…are you gonna think about coming with us?” Nick asked

“yes” I replied taking my keys of the desk. I twirled them around my finger. “so does anyone want to come?” I asked

“are just you and Matt going?” Amanda asked

“umm yeah” I answered “unless you guys wanna come”

“I’ll go if these guys wanna go”

“I don’t feel like it” AJ said “but if Nick you wanna go than go ahead…”

“no I don’t wanna. Im sure Brianna wouldn’t want me hanging around when her and Matt are there”

Judging by the tone of his voice he was a little upset. I didn’t blame him. one minute I was laying in bed with him, the next I was off with another guy.

“no I wouldn’t mind at all. your more than welcome to come” I said

“nope that’s ok” he said acting like he didn’t care. Everyone knew he did though. And I wanted him to come, I just didn’t want to ask him.

“hey would you guys mind leaving for a sec? I wanna talk to Brianna” Amanda asked standing up.

“sure” AJ said as him and Nick got up and walked out.

I looked at Amanda and sighed knowing what she was about to say to me.

“look Amanda, I don’t wanna hear it again. I know what your gonna say”

“yeah I know you do. But you don’t seem to get it.” She said sitting down on my bed facing me.

“I do get it. But he promised me that wouldn’t happen this time”

“but I thought you told me when you broke up with him that you would never go out with him again”

“I did. And we arent going out” I said

“well your gonna be alone with him, that’s close enough”

“ok listen, im not going to let him touch me this time. I promise Amanda. Hes just leaving for college soon and wanted me to spend some time with him before he left”

“I still don’t get it. Brianna your really making a stupid choice. He might have promised he would stop but that doesn’t mean anything. he hasn’t stopped doing drugs has he?”

I sat there and looked down at my hands. I shook my head.

“well he promised you he’d stop that too and he hasn’t. I cant belive your doing this to yourself. Why do you need him while Nick is downstairs just waiting to ask you out. But noooo you run off with Matt instead.”

“Amanda stop. I know what im doing and I don’t need your lectures anymore. I really appreciate you looking out for me but im fine. Really”

“god I just don’t know how to get through to you” she said standing up and walking towards the door. “I guess I cant tell you what to do, so just be careful ok?” she asked looking back at me.

“yeah I will. Thanks”

she looked at me for a minute and then turned and walked out.

I shook my head, sighed and then laid back on the bed dialing Matts number on my neon green phone.

Amanda walked downstairs and sat next to AJ while him and Nick watched tv in the livingroom.

“what was that all about?” AJ asked taking her hand in his.

“oh nothing” Amanda said with a smile.

I went into the living room and dropped my bag on the floor.

“what are you all up to tonight?” I asked

“well since your leaving, we’ll probably go get a hotel room” Nick said

“no you don’t have to do that, stay here. No one will be home for another week. My parents are away on buisness, my brother is gone to look for appartments near his college before school starts again and my sister is gone to north dakota with her friend”

“are you sure? Its just as easy for us to find a hotel” AJ said

“its no problem. But if you wanna leave go ahead just lock up the key is under the flowerpot ok?” I asked they nodded.

“are you leaving?” Amanda asked

“yeah. Matts coming to pick me up. If you want use my car, I have the keys but the extras are on the rack by the door so I think you’ll be all set”

“ok thanks” AJ said with a smile.

“I’ll wait outside with you Bree” Amanda siad standing up and walking towards the door.

“oh wait” I said “I don’t know if I’ll see you guys again before you leave. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” I walked over to them and they stood up. “thank you guys for coming and maybe I’ll see you soon ok?” I said while giving AJ a hug.

“I hope so, think about coming with us ok? We really want you to come” AJ said “oh and thanks for letting us come and stay with you”

“no problem. It was fun” I smiled walking over to Nick and giving him a hug.

“I hope you decide to come, call me when you make up your mind alright?”

“yeah of course I will” I said, kissing his cheek. “thanks for everything”

“your welcome. I hope to see you soon” he said with a soft smile.

I smiled at him and walked outside with Amanda.

“god Brianna, how can you do that to him? he likes you so much” Amanda said shaking her head.

“do what to him? not like I’ll never see him again”

“I know but…oh nevermind. I know you don’t listen to anything I say anyways” she said as we watched Matts car pull up. He got out and walked over to us.

“hey Amanda” he smiled putting an arm over my shoulder.

“don’t even start asshole” she said coldly. “you know I cant stand you so get a life”

“oh Amanda im hurt by your words. Don’t you love me anymore?” he asked with a smirk.

She ignored him and turned to me. “I’ll have my cell with me all the time. If you need anything at all call me”

“I will. Thanks Amanda” I said picking up my bag and walking away.

Amanda watched them drive away and walked back into the house.

“I don’t like him” Nick said as he looked out the window. “he seems like an asshole”

she walked over to the kitchen table where AJ was sitting and sat down.

“he is. And she doesn’t seem to get it. Hes gonna end up hurting her again and I’ll feel bad for letting her go” Amanda said

“hurting her? What do you mean?” Nick asked coming over and sitting across from her and AJ.

“I mean that he hits her. She went out with him for a while then she broke up with him. no one knew why, he was the greatest guy. Everyone tried getting them back together but nothing anyone did would make her change her mind. It wasn’t until I saw the bruises myself that I realized why.”

“so why did she go with him?” AJ asked

“cause shes scared. She thinks that she has to do whatever he asks or else he’ll get pissed off and hit her. She thinks doing what he wants helps. It only makes it worse”

“oh man I feel bad what if he hurts her tonight?” Nick asked

“I don’t think he will. I mean shes there with him and he shouldn’t have any reason to be mad at her. But you never know. Hes on lots of drugs he will find stuff to blame her for. Like I remember one time a few months ago, we were camping and he forgot to bring his pager and got pissed off. He pushed her down a hill and she hit her head on a tree. She was out cold for 5 hours and he paid the only person who saw what really happened, to let Brianna blame her.”

“wow and he gets away with it?”

“yeah she wont tell anyone. Only me and the girl who saw him push her know. Elise doesn’t even know. And I feel like I should help but she doesn’t want my help. She doesn’t want anyones help”

“I don’t want her to get hurt” Nick said looking up from where he was staring, down at his hands.

“well its her choice. Not ours” Amanda said sighing. “so anways, what should we do tonight?”

“what would you like to do Amanda?” AJ asked smiling.

“hmm…let me think” she smiled “how about if we go out for dinner, and then maybe come back here and watch a movie so I can cuddle with you on the couch”

AJ laughed at the innocent expression on her face.

“that sounds good Amanda. Lets get ready and we’ll go” they both stood up and then looked at Nick.

“oh Nick, you can come if you want…”

he laughed “no its ok. Im just gonna stay here and chill. You guys have fun”

“alright Nick” AJ said as him and Amanda started to walk upstairs. Amanda turned around and looked at him.

“oh and if you want to, call Brianna at the beach house and check on her, the number is up in her room in her address book”

“ok I will” he said getting up and going into the livingroom.

*at the beach house*

“so what are we going to do tonight” I asked walking into the livingroom where Matt was sitting.

“nothing” he replied digging through his bag for something.

“I don’t think so. If you dragged me here we’re going to do something. Im not going to sit around all friggin week” I scoffed sitting down on the couch.

“hey don’t you be a bitch to me” he said taking out the little baggie full of white powder.

“Matt…don’t even think about doing that infront of me. Not while im around. I don’t wanna see the side affects”

“don’t tell me what to do either” he got on his knees infront of the coffee table and poured a little of what was in the bad onto the table.

“didn’t you hear me?” I asked “I said don’t. and if you think you have to im going to leave”

he stood up and walked over to me. He put one of his hands on each of the arm rests on my chair and leaned down so he was looking into my eyes.

“didn’t you hear me?” he said “I said don’t tell me what to do and don’t bitch at me. I didn’t come here for you to bitch at me”

“than why are you here?” I asked not giving into him at all. he drew his hand back and slapped me across the face.

“that’s why im here and don’t forget that” he said walking back over to the table and kneeling down. I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of him forming it into a line and then inhailing it through his nose.

I got up and went upstairs to my room. I locked the door before he decided to follow me up.

I laid down on my bed and cried. I hated seeing him do drugs, I hated it when he thought he could controll me. Most of all I hated it when he was high and made me do things that I didn’t want to do.

*back at Brianna’s house (3 hours later)*

Nick wandered up the stairs and into Brianna’s room. He had been watching tv for hours and didn’t want to sit any longer.

He decided to go call Brianna and make sure she was alright. He walked into her bedroom and over to her desk looking for the address book.

He opened the drawer and pulled out the address book he looked up the number and wrote it down so he could put the book back and use the phone downstairs.

He shut the drawer fighting the temptation he had to read the journal he saw there. he knew better than to do that, although he was dying to know what she had written in there.

I laid on the couch holding a tissue on my lip as the blood soaked through it. He was gone, he would be for about an hour or so, than he would be back. He was high enough not to care that I could leave at any second. But I knew that if I did, as soon as he was feeling normal again he would come and find me.

So I stayed put, tears sliding down my cheeks and blood trickling from my lip. The phone started to ring and I contemplated picking it up. I wasn’t going to until the repetative ringing was too much for my headache.

I reached over and picked it up trying to sound normal.

“hello?”

“hey…its Nick”

“hi” I said sniffling a little and hoping he didn’t hear.

“your crying? Whats wrong?”

“what?” I asked “im not crying. Im fine”

“what happened are you ok?”

“I said I was fine. What did you call for?”

“I called to see if you were ok. And your not so why don’t you talk to me?”

“Nick for the third time, im fine. Nothings wrong”

“I wish you trusted me”

“what do you mean? Of course I trust you”

“no you don’t. if you trusted me, you wouldn’t lie to me” he said hanging up the phone. I listened to the dial tone and let a fresh set of tears fall down my cheeks. I hit the reset button and then dialed my home number.

I waited, hoping he would pick it up. When I heard my own voice over the answering machine I sighed and let more tears soak my cheeks.

After hearing the beep Nick waited to see if the person would leave a message.

“Nick…you have to listen to me ok?” Briannas voice filled the room. “I do trust you. And im sorry for lying to you. I just cant tell you about any of this right now. Im afraid he’ll come back. im sure you already know anyways. Amanda probably told you. And I…I just cant talk to you now, im sorry hes back I have to go”

he heard the click and then the answering machine stop recording. He was scared, scared that he was going to hurt her. He picked up the phone and dialed AJ’s cell phone number.

(*sorry for lack of detail, im getting bored this chapter is really long and Amanda is getting impatient hehe.*)

*the beach house 2 hours later*

again, I laid in bed fighting that refused to stop falling and the pain through out my body.

After he came back he was pissed off about not being able to get into a certin club on the boardwalk and we got into a fight.

Honestly it was everything but his hitting that bothered me.

It bothered me that Amanda was always right and how she told me not to come but I came anyways.

It bothered me that I chose to come knowing very well what would happen.

It bothered me that Nick was mad, and that he would probably never speak to me again.

It bothered me that the ice was downstairs and I hurt too much for me to get up get some for my head and eye.

I stiffened up hearing the downstairs door open and footsteps coming up the stairs. Matt had left again, hoping to find something else to do. I prayed he had and that it wasn’t him making his way to my bedroom door.

I watched as the handle turned, I hadn't locked it cause I hadn't gotten up since Matt pushed me down into the posistion I was in now. It slowly opened and felt relived when I saw Nick standing there.

“Nick” I whispered

he walked over to me. “hey” he whispred gently sitting down next to me. He noticed the blood on my lip and the bruise on my cheek. “I’ll get you some ice”

he came back a minute later with ice.

“lock the door” I said. He took the key and locked it. He then walked over to me and gave me the ice. “what are you doing here?” I asked

“I had to come and make sure you were alright. I’ll stay with you until tomorrow, then we’ll leave. Ok?”

“ok” I said laying back on the bed. “will you sleep in here?”

“yeah” he kicked off his shoes and laid down next to me pulling a blanket over us. He held the ice on my eye and gently kissed my forehead.

“did she tell you?” I asked

“shhhh…we’ll talk in the morning” he whispered pulling me closer to him. I nodded and laid me head against his chest before falling asleep.