WIN WITH CLASS – LEARN FROM DEFEAT

Why athletes and fans benefit from a growth mindset

SPORTSMANSHIP. The word is inscribed on our school’s Walk of Virtues. Everyone knows sportsmanship has great value. We could take the idea of sportsmanship and explore it using the Value Medals Table, but instead I want you stop and think for a moment to come up with an example or two of good sportsmanship, and poor sportsmanship. Keep your examples to yourself as we continue reading.

Everyone knows what sportsmanship is, but just for the record the dictionary defines it as:

“Conduct and attitude considered as befitting (suitable or proper) participants in sports, especially fair play, courtesy, striving spirit, and grace in losing.” – www.thefreedictionary.com

There are plenty of other messages about sportsmanship you can find around school. Take for example the banner displayed on Mr. Brown’s Web site: GO FORDS! WIN WITH CLASS!

If you click on about the Teacher and scroll to the bottom it reads:

“…Mr. Brown believes the "Win with Class" concept is important for boys to remember when representing themselves and the school. This goes for any competition, sports or academic, but it also for boys in every social encounter.

When you respect others (including your opponents,) demonstrate teamwork, and use good language and behavior, you can always hold your head high. That goes for fans too! No one will ever fault you for cheering positively for your team. Booing or shouting put-downs are not what Haverford is about. So cheer GO FORDS! and be proud of your school!”

Okay, so if everyone knows that sportsmanship is important why do we have to take time to learn about it in school? Raise your hand if you were able to think of at least one example of poor sportsmanship when we read the first paragraph above. Chances are pretty good that a number of students have their hands raised.

The fact is that everyone knows sportsmanship is important but people sometimes fail to display it, embarrassing themselves and others as a result. So why do people display poor sportsmanship?

Emotional Intelligence

“Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize your emotions, understand what they're telling you, and realize how your emotions affect people around you. Emotional intelligence also involves your perception of others: when you understand how they feel, this allows you to manage relationships more effectively.” - Mindtools

Demonstrating EI requires practicing a set of social skills and characteristics that help people manage emotions and overcome adversity – which is a really important part of sportsmanship. People with strong EI will use their “mirror tool” to see how well they are doing, avoid over-reacting and keep their mindset focused on finding solutions to problems. Strong EI people gladly accept coaching advice because they understand there is always room for improvement, and they look at mistakes as opportunities to learn how to do something better.

The good news is that EI is an ability that everyone has and it can be strengthened. According to psychologist Daniel Goleman there are five elements that define Emotional Intelligence:

Self-awareness – Confidence and trust in ability to understand emotions and think positively.

Self-regulation – Thinking before acting. Not letting emotions control your actions.

Motivation – Accepts challenge. Doesn’t dwell on short-term and focuses on long-term goals.

Empathy – Recognizes the feelings of others and responds appropriately.

Social Skills – Support teammates and manage disputes with strong leadership. This requires motivation to focus on team goals, and the use of good body-language and appropriate communication.

The Mindtools Web site has several suggestions to improve EI such as:

Avoid pre-judging and stereotyping. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes (like the ref) and be more open and accepting of their perspectives.
Practice humility and give others a chance to shine.
Have the courage to use your “mirror tool” to identify weaknesses for strengthening.
Demonstrate leadership by taking responsibility for your actions.
Preview how your actions will affect others. How will they feel based on your actions. Also consider how others may view your action BEFORE you act.

EI PRACTICE ACTIVITY

You may have noticed that many of the many of the descriptions of EI and suggestions for how to strengthen EI are related to the Six Thinking Hats, the Value Medals, and the Community Toolbox. Review the sports scenarios in the table below and indicate which thinking hats, value medals, and community tools may be used to strengthen your EI.

INSTRUCTIONS:

Open Word and type a proper header with your name, date, and Character Education.
Next copy and paste the table below into your Word document.
Save the document as EI.
Complete the table below by typing the names of the hats, medals, and tools that may be useful for strong emotional intelligence.
PRINT your work and complete and print a self-evaluation for this exercise.

Situations in Sports	Six Thinking Hats	Value Medals	Community Toolbox Tools
Your friends and/or teammates are making negative comments about the other team.
A player from the other team aggressively fouls your teammate.
Your teammate aggressively fouls a player from the other team.
The referee makes what appears to be a “bad call” against your team.
The referee makes what appears to be a “bad call” against the other team.
A player from the other team misses an opportunity to score.
A player from your team misses an opportunity to score.
Your team is ahead by one (or more) scores.
Your team is behind by one (or more) scores.
Your team wins by one (or more) scores.
Your team loses by one (or more) scores.

A few quotes worth keeping in mind:

“Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” - Og Mandino (Author).

“Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”

- George Santayana (Philosopher).