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David Letterman's Top Ten Lists Featuring Hanson...

The Next 3 are polls that Teen People have conducted... Which one of the made-up Hanson TV shows or specials below would you most want to see?

Hanson The Vampire Slayers by 23.40%
Hanson's Creek 19.73
Touched by a Hanson 10.84
Mad About Hanson 9.45
Third Hanson from the Sun 6.64
Hanson Improvement 5.72
Party of Hanson 3.39
Unsolved Hanson Mysteries 3.06
World's Scariest Hanson Chases 3.02
Pop Up Hanson 2.90 Which group would you want to perform at your school?
1. 311 by 22.93 %
2. Bush by 19.64%
3. Oasis by 11.91%
4. Hanson by 11.29%
5. Smashing Pumpkins by10.25%
6. Backstreet Boys by 4.91%
7. Spice Girls by 4.71%
8. Puff Daddy and the Family by 3.72%
9. Prodigy by 3.58%
10. Smash Mouth by 1.9%
  Top Ten Ways to improve New York...
  1. Goodbye, crack dens -- hello, luxury crack suites!
  2. Have Mayor Giuliani change his last name to "McCheese."
  3. Replace jarring ambulance sirens with recording of "Mmmbop."
  4. Instead of cabs, giant winged monkeys that carry you by your suspenders.
  5. Attach outboard motor to Manhattan island and drive the sumbitch to the Bahamas.
  6. For first time in 30 years, start enforcing "no homicide" rule.
  7. No throwing up in subway unless you're in a specially designated "vomiting seat."
  8. All criminal cases decided by that delightful Judge Judy.
  9. Hookers who "just want to cuddle."
  10. Change name to "New and Improved York."
    Top Ten Things Overheard at the Grammys
    1. "You're looking especially puffy today, Mr. Daddy."
    2. "I need a limo and some jumper cables to start Keith Richards' heart."
    3. "Bitchin' stage dive, Mayor Giuliani."
    4. "If these awards are so important, why are they broadcast on CBS?"
    5. "Bjork, meet Dave Letterman--the Djork."
    6. "Uh-oh, Marilyn Manson's melting under the stage lights."
    7. "The president canceled when he found out the Rockettes wouldn't be here."
    8. "The guys from Hanson just asked me to buy them some beer."
    9. "Hey, the Spice Girls sneaked in dressed as caterers!..Oh, they are the caterers."
    10. "LeAnn Rimes, Busta Rhymes. Busta Rhymes, LeAnn Rimes."
    Top Ten Rejected Themes for the Rolling Stones Tour...
    1. "Honky-Tonk Women and Grumpy Old Men"
    2. "We Live Through the Concert or Your Money Back"
    3. "Come See What Hanson Will Look Like in the Year 2097"
    4. "Hurry Before Keith Richards Lapses Into a Coma"
    5. "Half-Price Off If You're Mick Jagger's Illegitimate Child"
    6. "And You Thought Aerosmith Was Old"
    7. "Hearts Full of Song and Teeth in a Glass"
    8. "It's Like Metamucil For Your Ears"
    9. "Where Else Can You See Bob Dole in a Mosh Pit?"
    10. "Under 45 Not Admitted Without a Parent"
    Top Ten Signs Your New College Roommate is Nuts...
    1. Walks around campus wearing nothing but a spiral notebook
    2. He orders Big Macs with extra condoms
    3. Whenever you put up a college pennant, he takes it down and eats it
    4. Keeps reminiscing about the time he was married to Larry King for a semester
    5. His personal web site: www.killmyroommate.com
    6. He keeps cutting the eyes out of your Hanson poster
    7. Claims to be majoring in something called "gettin' some"
    8. His GPA's lower than his blood alcohol level
    9. He says he wants to sleep on top, but you don't have bunk beds
    10. Has his S.A.T. scores tattooed on his forehead
    Top Ten Ways to Improve Tennis...
    1. No more silly trophies -- winner gets to sleep with loser's wife
    2. Ball boys: those adorable Hanson kids
    3. Every single player must legally change name to "Bjorn"
    4. Make it more like baseball, the most thrill-packed sport known to man
    5. Players must compete after night spent bar hopping with Jennifer Capriati
    6. If game gets dull, John McEnroe comes out and curses up a storm
    7. For God's sake, just let the players pick up the ball and throw it
    8. TV commentators must match Monica Seles grunt for grunt
    9. Before match, players must eat a heaping helping of tainted beef
    10. More 'splosions
    Top Ten Ways to Get Kicked Out of the Miss Teen USA Pageant...
    1. Use interview portion to plug your phone-sex line
    2. Your "evening gown" is made from aluminum foil and duct tape
    3. Get caught stuffing swimsuit with Stridex Medicated Pads
    4. Your sash reads "crazed loner"
    5. Refuse private interview in hotel room of judge Bill Clinton
    6. Your talent: making a really bitchin' fake ID
    7. When asked your goal in life, you answer, "To become the next Mrs. Larry King"
    8. Confess you're actually one of the brothers from Hanson
    9. When other contestants talk about ending world hunger, you yell, "What a load of crap"
    10. You're packin' heat.
    Top Ten Things Overheard at Mtv's Video Music Awards...
    1. "Five minutes till show time -- we'd better thaw out Keith Richards"
    2. "I don't care what you're formerly known as -- just park my damn car"
    3. "Oh my God -- Coolio's hair just strangled an usher!"
    4. "Radiohead couldn't make it. Here to accept on his behalf is his brother, Toaster-Oven-Head"
    5. "I just saw Nine Inch Nails in the dressing room. It's more like Four Inch Nails"
    6. "I thought the Chemical Brothers were Christian Slater and Robert Downey Jr."
    7. "Jakob Dylan? Any relation to Matt Dillon?"
    8. "You little girls aren't allowed backstage -- oh, sorry, Hanson"
    9. "Hey everybody -- let's beat up those snotty little bastards from 'The Real World'"
    10. "And the award for Puffiest New Artist goes to...Puff Daddy!"
    Top Ten Least Selling Items at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Giftshop...
    1. Keyrings made from the Rolling Stones' old hip bones.
    2. Gift basket of food combed from ZZ Top's beards.
    3. Tito Jackson's cologne, "Forever Tito."
    4. Variety pack of guitar picks coughed up by Jimi Hendrix.
    5. Combination Michael Jackon/Diana Ross doll.
    6. CD from short-lived band "Crosby, Stills, Nash and Philbin."
    7. New desk calendar: "The 365 Weirdest Things Elvis Ever Ate."
    8. Coupon good for one shoe shine from a former New Kid on the Block.
    9. Ben and Jerry's new flavor "Chuck Berry."
    10. The Hanson Fake I.D. Kit.
  Email: abchanson@hotmail.com