The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper,
but there's no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres
no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So yo end up
putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't
ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Splash-Back Poo
That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt
cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Second Wave Poo
This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to
your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.
The Brain Haemorrahage-through-your-nose Poo
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and
practically have a stroke.
The Lincoln Log
The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down
without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Power Dump Poo
The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and
you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Poo
This kind of poo is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all
over the floor. You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln
Log Poo.
The Spinal Tap Poo
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to
be coming out sideways.
The 'I-think-I'm-turning-into-a-bunny' Poo
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles
and make tiny splishy sounds when they hit the water.
The 'What-the-hell-died-in-here' Poo
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn
anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently
near the door and enjoy the show as they run out a-gagging and
a-gasping for air.
The 'I-just-know-there's-a-turd-still-dangling-there' Poo
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to
drop.
