All Souls and All Saints
Preached: 25 October 1998
May I speak in the name and to the Glory of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. AmenAll of us here have lost someone close to us. It's my grand-father's birthday today, he died when I was thirteen. No matter how much time has passed, every time we remember our loved ones we become conscious of our loss. One of the deepest and most painful wounds anyone can suffer is grief. When we lose someone, we're deeply wounded in our hearts. Not just wounded, our heart's broken. Whether we admit it or not, we're injured by grief.
Jesus didn't hide his wounds. When he appeared to his disciples after his resurrection, the first thing he did was to show them his wounds. Why did he keep those wounds on his risen body? They were the signs and proof of his love. They were the mortal wounds the Good Shepherd suffered for the sake of his sheep. Like hard-won trophies, they weren't things to be ashamed of but things to be proud of. There's no need for us to hide the wounds of grief.
Our wounds aren't things to be ashamed of, rather, they're the signs and proof of the love we have for our lost one. It's precisely because we love them, that we're damaged by their loss. The main thing is not to be ashamed of these scars. Where there's love, there's always pain too. However, though the mark of the wounds may remain, the hurt decreases as we gradually come to terms with our loss.
Bereavement is a profound rational shock; and emotional wounds take much longer to heal than physical ones.
The mourning of loved ones is not to be discouraged; but rather St Paul in our Epistle today wants to say what happens after death. Our hope is his hope that "this perishable body puts on imperishability, this mortal body puts on immortality".
Too often in the past, the impression may have been given that people shouldn't weep or give way to emotion, even at a death, because of this promise - and expectation - of resurrection of the dead and of life with Jesus afterward.
But that's unhelpful and unrealistic, even unscriptural, and a wrong burden to be laid upon those in shock at the death of a loved one. Jesus himself wept at the grave of Lazarus; so we have the best example of all to follow when we ourselves meet the loss and the death of a near friend or relative.
What we can all struggle to do at funerals, and in the months that follow, is to bring our hope and our emotions together. Grief is both natural and necessary.
How is it, that simple peasant communities can meet and accept the death of relatives and friends, with a simple and direct faith and trust, that we seem to have lost in our more sophisticated lives? They show the grief and pain that they feel quite openly and frankly; where we button ourselves up, keep a straight face.
We consider old-fashioned the Victorian black clothes, black-edged notepaper and all the rest - but how sensible to be able to show grief instead of pretending a detachment that's false.There comes a time however when we have to pick up our lives and continue with our journey, how do we do this?
If a man has loved his wife for forty-five years and one day she's suddenly in a different world, he doesn't stop loving her. Indeed, that would imply that she no longer existed, which isn't so. But how does he show his love for her? Obviously he can't cuddle her, bring her cups of tea, talk to her, listen to her, walk with her and do all the thousands of things that communicated love in this world. He has to find a new language of love that can communicate to her world.For all of us here today there is now a part of us in heaven, and we have to use heaven's ways of expressing our love. Prayer for those who have died is simply a way of expressing our love for those who are no longer with us.
Bishop George Reindorp's baby daughter, Veronica Jane, died very suddenly at an early age. He was enormously comforted by a letter sent to him by a good friend. The letter included this passage:
"It has been given to me to see our progress to God as a road divided in the middle by a low wall, which we call death. Whatever our age or stage of development, or relationship with other human beings, there is no real change involved in crossing the low wall. We simply continue in a parallel course with those who loved us in our development and relationship. I do not believe that God altered one whit your responsibility or service for your child.
I do believe that she will grow side by side with you, in spirit, as she would have done on earth; and that your prayer and love will serve her development as they would have done on earth. There is nothing static about the other life.... The companionship which was given you, you still have. The growth to which you look forward will still be yours to watch over and care for."**What helps to take the pain out of our wounds are our memories, and our hope. Jesus broke the chains of death and rose in triumph from the grave, this is what we celebrate at the altar in the Holy Communion. Therefore, we mustn't regard those who have gone before as dead and gone, but as alive and living in a land that is bright with the glory of God.
Death is part of the natural world, and all material things must pass away. But Jesus gives us a glimpse of the joy that's to come, when all are raised to life. Not brought back to a life of trouble and tears, but to love and a happy reunion.
Jesus is no academic spectator to our personal tragedies, but someone who knows all about it, from the inside. This is why he's able to come alongside us as we suffer, and to be our comforter, bringing the presence of the Holy Spirit, to strengthen and uphold us in all our trials.
Holy Communion is the best setting for remembering our dead because this is the central point where all meet;
at the Eucharist those who have gone ahead are with Christ, and he is with us in the bread and the wine, His body and blood, the communion becomes a visual re-enactment of Jesus's death and resurrection, this is where sorrow and love, faith and hope, are all mingled together.This theme is picked up in the words which you will hear shortly: 'Therefore with angels and archangels and all the company of heaven we proclaim your great and glorious name....."
Here the heavens and the earth, alike and together, proclaim the greatness of God.Also, at the heart of the Eucharist is the value of remembrance. Because we're allowed to reach back and touch the death of Jesus, even so, through him, we can touch those deaths which are significant for us. We can say to the deaths that have touched us deeply that here is another death, more powerful in its effect than any other. And so, the healing effects of Christ's death can overcome whatever ills or hurts our own bereavements may have brought.
When we think of those who have died, we do grow sad. But God hears our prayers. Indeed, he's already answered them - with the joy of Easter, an empty tomb and discarded grave clothes. We pray today for all the departed, and thank God, with them, for the victory of the risen Christ, the conqueror of death.
In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
**With thanks to "Requiem Healing", Michael Mitton and Russ Parker, DLT, 1991.
