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AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #563

SO SPIDER-MAN WALKS INTO A BAR AND...

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WRITER: BOB GALE
PENCILS: MIKE MCKONE
INKS: MARLO ALQUIZA
COLORS: JEROMY COX
LETTERS: VC'S CORY PETIT
COVER: MIKE MCKONE AND MARLO ALQUIZA
ASSISTANT EDITOR: TOM BRENNAN
EDITOR: STEPHEN WACKER
EXECUTIVE EDITOR: TOM BREVOORT
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF: JOE QUESADA
PUBLISHER: DAN BUCKLEY

PREVIOUSLY: When the boisterous Bookie bilks the Bar with No Name's residents with a staged fight between a faux Spider-Man and super-loser, the Basher, the Bookie finds himself on the wrong side of Ox, Montana and Fancy Dan – the Enforcers! Meanwhile, the recently unemployed Peter Parker goes to document the event, hoping to make a few bucks freelancing (and keep his new roommate, Vin Gonzales, from discovering he's out of work). When the fake Spidey shows up, Peter jumps into action, taking both down and unmasking the fraud as his new nemesis, Screwball. She leads him to the local villain hangout – and Spidey's met by some unhappy faces!

REVIEW: Having dropped in on a herd of super-villains, Spider-Man is immediately suckered into a fight. The battle is short-lived, however, when the bartender gets hold of his double-barrel rifle and asks everybody to calm down, his finger against the trigger. He explains that the Bar with No Name is a sanctuary for those that have a record or are on the run from the law. He personally doesn't have any beef with Spider-Man, who came in quiet and didn't start anything, so if he wants to get drunk, then he gets a pass. Having said that, he puts his rifle down and asks Spidey what he wants to drink. Spidey replies that he's looking for the Bookie and wonders if anyone has seen him. Obviously, nobody answers his question. Getting annoyed, Spidey turns to the villains in attendance and tells them that they better start giving him answers or else he's going to start bashing heads and breaking things. The Squid tells Spidey that he and the others are not there to fight but to have a good time, so whatever his problem is with the Bookie is not of concern to them. Powderkeg approaches Spidey and mentions that he didn't lay any bets on the Basher business. Hydro-Man jumps in and tells Spidey that he did (place bets on the Basher deal) and that he wouldn't mind having a piece of him. Realizing what the Bookie’s business is all about, Spidey desires more answers, but he's still not getting any. Grabbing hold of a large keg full of beer, Spidey proposes a deal to the bartender. Either he tells him where the Bookie is hiding or he's going to do a lot of damage to the bar, which – he’s sure – is not covered by any insurance company. The bartender gives in and tells Spidey where the Bookie lives – in New Jersey. Minutes later, Spidey is swinging in that direction. Unbeknownst to Spidey, the bartender is on the phone with someone, relating the latest developments to that person.

At the FEAST centre, Aunt May is serving food to the homeless, when a man accidentally trips while walking passed another man bent over to pick up something. Aunt May comes to his aid, as well as Martin Li (a.k.a. Mr. Negative) the centre's supervisor. They have him lay down on a cot and one ice pack and a bowl of stew later, he is as good as new. But, even more amazing is that his once bad leg is now completely healed. What exactly happened there?

Spider-Man shows up at the residence of Lester Ladue, the Bookie's father. Upon seeing Spidey swing down toward his house, Lester hollers at him that his son was kidnapped by the Enforcers and that they plan to torture him unless he returns the ten thousand dollars they lost. Lester tells Spidey the Enforcers are holed up in Coney Island and he hopes he'll help with rescuing his son. Spidey suggests to Lester he contact the police or registered super-hero Jackpot, as it is right up their alley. Lester implores Spidey to save his son, while making him feel bad, should something happen to him. Spidey sarcastically responds that he's a dangerous serial killer, prompting Lester to respond that Spidey is being framed and that heroes like him don't let people get hurt, no matter if they are criminals are not. Spidey asks Lester how he knows he's being framed but Lester refuses to say anything. That is, until Spidey grabs hold of him by the front of his shirt and lifts him off the ground. Lester (quickly) reveals that his son must know something about it, based on the odds he's been giving. Spidey wants more (answers) and lets it known. Lester tells Spidey he'll have Johnny (the Bookie) tell him everything he wants to know, if he agrees to save him and take him along for the ride. Spidey reluctantly agrees to do it, and the two of them set off toward Coney Island.

At Coney Island, the Enforces, which consist of Ox, Fancy Dan, and Montana, have tied the Bookie to the propeller of a small airplane, which in turn, is attached to an arm and shaft that spins the airplane(s) around. A cameraman is shooting the whole thing and broadcasting it live back to the Bar with No Name where villains are to bet on whether the Bookie is going to puke, black out or fall off first. As they start the machine, the Bookie screams for his dad.

Meanwhile, Spidey and Lester are making their way to Coney Island atop the roof of several subway trains. Lester tries to strike a conversation with Spidey but to no avail. When they finally reach Coney Island, they find Johnny (the Bookie) tied up and standing in the middle of a bumper car enclosure, surrounded by the Enforcers, who are tossing baseballs at him from all sides. During their torture of the Bookie, the Enforcers reveal that they next plan to have Johnny ride a roller coaster whose rails are presently being repaired. Hidden behind a nearby hot dog stand, Spidey formulates a plan, which primarily involves him swinging in really quickly and getting Johnny out of there before the Enforcers can strike back. With that said, Spidey swings in the direction of the bumper car ride, hoping to remain unnoticed until the last possible second. Unfortunately for him, Lester yells from his hiding place, telling his son that Spider-Man is on the way. In so doing, Lester provides the Enforcers with enough of an opportunity to ready themselves for Spider-Man's surprise attack. Montana and Fancy Dan give Spidey a bit of a run for his money but his trusty webbing works its magic and soon enough, the two are incapacitated. Ox, who had been stuck inside his bumper car, breaks free and prepares to fight Spidey. Just then, however, the roller coaster train that had been activated by the Enforcers goes off the rail tracks, near where it was being repaired, and it heads directly for Ox. His spider-sense having warned him, Spidey grabs the flying roller coaster train in mid-air, just in time to save the Ox. Stunned that Spidey saved him, the Ox turns toward his saviour and thanks him. He then tells Spidey that all they – the Enforcers – wanted was to teach the Bookie a lesson, nothing more. Spidey tells the Ox that he cannot give him a free pass, as he and his fellow Enforcers have committed malicious mischief, vandalism and general mayhem. The Ox tells Spidey that he'll go quietly, as he owes him that much for saving his life. Having been quiet this whole time, Lester suddenly speaks up and chastises the Ox for surrendering, as it will mess up his odds. Upon hearing this, Spidey and the Bookie exchange puzzled looks. The Bookie realizes his own dad was making money off of his misfortunes and Lester is forced to reveal that he had a deal with the owner of the Bar with No Name to take bets on Johnny's rescue. Lester figured that, this way, Ox would get his money back, and then he would get back the twelve thousand dollars Johnny owes him and then some. Ticked off at Lester, Spidey grabs hold of him and hoists him up a large Ferris wheel from which he hangs him upside down. Lester tries to make a deal with Spidey to split the money from the betting scam, but to no avail. Next, Spidey instructs Lester on what he needs to do, if he intends to keep his house. Spidey wants Lester to donate the full sixteen thousand dollars he just earned to the FEAST Centre by noon the following day or else Spidey is gonna pay him a visit. Thought at first resilient, Lester agrees to do as told, for fear that Spidey will actually tear his house down.

Spidey then drops down and confronts Johnny about his alleged knowledge of information about the spider-tracer murders. Under pressure, Johnny reveals that the last murder was not in fact a murder, but a heart attack. Spidey answers that everybody knows that already and asks what else he knows. Johnny reveals that the third victim wasn't murdered either; she died of natural causes. Johnny adds that Spidey is being set up, prompting Spidey to ask who is behind the whole thing. Johnny, however, doesn't know who's pulling the strings. Spidey tells Johnny to find out who the mastermind is using every low-life informer he deals with and get back to him. With that said, Spidey swings away, leaving Johnny to find a way to rescue his webbed-up father. Nearby, the Ox grabs hold of Montana and Fancy Dan and it appears that he’s doing good on his promise to Spidey to give himself up to the authorities; to the utter displeasure of his teammates.

The following afternoon, while standing in line at the Unemployment Office, Peter calls Aunt May and asks her if someone stopped by the FEAST Centre earlier in the morning to make a sizable donation. Aunt May responds that someone has and asks how he knew about it. As the issue concludes, Peter replies that he had a bet with someone...

The end...for now.

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