ACT 1: Jones Beach, New York. Sonic TV, a music/video television station (reminiscent of MTV) is having its annual Spring Break beach party with performances by the best pop rock boy bands, punk and rock bands and female artists reminiscent of real-life artists such as N'Sync, Britney Spears, Sisqo and Mariah Carey. Later that night, as pop princess Tiffany Gibson and her boy band boyfriend, Johny Waterlog, fool around in the sand, the boy is suddenly sucked into the sand and disappears.

ACT 2: Peter Parker is lounging around in his apartment, watching the Entertainment News on Sonic TV, which talk about the recent disappearance of both Tiffany Gibson and Johny Waterlog. The news over, Peter continues to watch Sonic TV, which is now showing a concert with Crisqo. Crisqo starts singing his famous hits and jumps around the stage and then onto the beach where he continues dancing. Suddenly, however, a giant hand made out of sand emerges from the beach and drags Crisqo into the sand where he disappears. Thinking that it is all part of the show, the fans continue dancing, drinking and partying while miles away, Peter Parker stands right up, knowing full well that something is just not quite right about what he just saw. He knows it's time for him to switch to his Spider-Man costume.

ACT 3: A short while later, Spider-Man arrives at Jones Beach where he is greeted by his adoring but drunk fans. Teale Hunter, the female production manager approaches him and asks him what he is doing there. Spidey replies that he is there to investigate the disappearance of Crisqo. Teale replies that she doesn't want to alarm all the party-goers so she makes a deal with Spidey: she'll help him out as best she can and she'll let him investigate as long as he pretends to be a regular celebrity guest. Spidey reluctantly agrees. Meanwhile, the sand appears to be capable of sentient thought and it reminisces about obscure parts of its life such as being in prison and possibly having killed somebody.

ACT 4: Teale puts Spider-Man to work by having him judge a bikini contest. Then he’s off to some sort of "Jerry Springer" show knockoff followed by a show reminiscent of "MTV's Jackass". A short time later, a very frustrated Spidey is just about to pack up and leave when Maria Kelly's show is interrupted by a giant sand tidal wave that swallows every spectator along with Maria. Our hero decides to stay after all.