Random Quotes
Here are some random quotes that I've collected from various magazines and stuff.
"Warren Beatty is running for President. Ken Starr heard the news and started to unpack."
David Letterman, on Late Show
"A lot of people are throwing up during The Blair Witch Project because of the shaky handheld camera. What no one has explained is why a lot of people are throwing up during Runaway Bride."
Conan O'Brien, Late Night
"If you don't get the best grades, don't fret-I didn't do too well in school and I'm a multimillionaire."
Adam Sandler, The 1999 Teen Choice Awards
"George W. Bush says he's a 'compassionate conservative.' Isn't that like a 'vegetarian cannibal'?"
Joy Behar, The View
"'Hugh the Teeth.' Let's face it, the teeth are getting more and more English everyday. I look in the mirror and I see Austin Powers staring back at me."
Hugh Grant, on what his Mob nickname would be
"First of all, thank you for jumping in after Scott Baio canceled at the last minute."
Martin Short, to first guest Billy Crystal, on the Martin Short Show
"Brad Pitt complained to a reporter that there is too much focus in America on people's wealth and external beauty. Then Pitt jumped in his Porsche and sped home to have sex with Jennifer Aniston."
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
"Didn't you see New Kids on the Block? Don't you know how this movie's gonnna to end?"
Chris Rock, to the Backstreet Boys, on the MTV Video Music Awards
"A toy manufacturer has announced that they're coming out with a new Britney Spears doll. The doll runs exclusively on double-D batteries."
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
"They're taking the AstroTurf out of Giants Stadium and replacing it with natural grass because they want to cut down on knee injuries. If it works there, they're going to do the same thing in the Oval Office."
David Letterman on Late Show
"Chris Gaines is a fictional rock star created by Garth Brooks, who's apparently as sick of Garth Brooks as the rest of us are."
Jon Stewart on The Daily Show
Email: kimmielove@hotmail.com
