To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from
the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've
been Dilberted again. They revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Link Rot:
The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete
as the sites they're connected to change location or die.
Chip Jewelry:
A euphamism for old computers destined to be scrapped or
turned into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE,
and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
Crapplet:
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just
wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Plug-and-Play:
A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
World Wide Wait:
The real meaning of WWW.
CGI Joe:
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills
and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Dorito Syndrome:
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing
the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
Under Mouse Arrest:
Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of
conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
Glazing:
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that
half the room was glazing by the second session?"
404:
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message "404,
URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried to access can't
be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
Dead Tree Edition:
The paper version of a publication available in both paper
and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San Francisco
Chronicle..."
Egosurfing:
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
looking for the mention of your name.
Graybar Land:
The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar creep across
the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks
to that CAD rendering."
Open-Collar Workers:
People who work at home or telecommute.
Squirt The Bird:
To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent
are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
Brain Fart:
A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly.
A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft story,
but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation of old
hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
Cobweb Site:
A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long
time. A dead web page.
It's a Feature:
From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically
to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
Keyboard Plaque:
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad
case of keyboard plaque."
Career-Limiting Move (CLM):
Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity.
Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
Elvis Year:
The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's
Elvis year was 1993."
Alpha Geek:
The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Adminisphere:
The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the
rack and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly
inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Tourists:
People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the
rest were tourists."
Blowing Your Buffer:
Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you
are speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said
something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Darn, I just blew
my buffer!"
Gray Matter:
Older, experienced business people hired by young entrpreneurial
firms looking to appear more reputable and established.
Bookmark:
To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo
at Siggraph."
Nyetscape:
Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
Beepilepsy:
The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers
go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms,
goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Salmon Day:
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed in the end.
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