Hi! Get ready to laugh! I've picked my fave 5 episodes IN NO ORDER (for now) and taken my fave quotes from them! Enjoy!
THE ONE WHERE PHOEBE'S MOM IS A CAT
MONICA-You know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Mathews in High School?
RACHEL-Yeah,
MONICA-Well,tonight I actually DID go out with Chip Mathews in High School.
ROSS-So, what did the insurance company say?
CHANDLER-They said you don't have insurance here, so stop calling.
After Joey and Chandler have been robbed:
PHOEBE-Mom, I hope you know that you still mean a lot to me. And you can come back anytime.
CHANDLER-Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch we'd really appreciate it.
ROSS-Oh, hey you guys, I've got an extra futon.
JOEY-Look, dude, you dont have to brag, we got nothin' here!
RACHEL-Hey, um, Mon, when were you gonna tell me that you were going out with Chip Mathews?
MONICA-Now?
CHANDLER-You know, I think this might be one of the times when he's wrong...
EVERYONE-Really? You really think so? Yeah?
CHANDLER-Oh no, he's right...
MONICA-Is it alright if I go out with Chip Mathews?
RACHEL-No! It is not alright! I can't believe you would want to after what he did to me!
MONICA-What? That little thing at the prom?
RACHEL-Monica! I couldnt find him for TWO hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
MONICA-Oh come on, that was back in High School, HOW could that still bother you?
RACHEL-WHY?! Of all people, do you have to go out with Chip!?
MONICA-Look, you and I went to different High Schools...
RACHEL-OK, that doesnt help me, cause we went to the same High school.
MONICA-...YOU went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off on Chip's motorcycle and wear his lettermen jacket-I went to one where I had to wear a band uniform that they had to have specially made...
RACHEL-They had to have that SPECIALLY MADE?
MONICA-It was a project for one of the home-ec classes...
RACHEL-Oh My God! They told us that was for the mascot!
MONICA-Back then I never thought that I would ever get to go out with someone like Chip Mathews. And now he's called and asked ME out--And the fat girl inside of me, really wants to go, I owe her that!--I NEVER LET HER EAT!
RACHEL-Oh, you go out with him
MONICA-Really?
{Hugging}RACHEL-Yeah, but just if its possible could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
MONICA-I'll try.
PHOEBE-Well, I'm returning a call to a certain MOM at the B-E-A-C-H.
< {pause}PHOEBE-I just spelt the wrong word...
PHOEBE-Hey I wrote you guys a Holiday song wanna hear it?
EVERYONE-Yeah!
PHOEBE-Happy Hanukka Monica!-May your Christmas be snowy Joey!-Happy New Year Chandler and Ross!-Spin the dradel Rachel!
RACHEL-Thats great Pheebs, but um, Rachel doesnt rhyme with Dradel...
PHOEBE-I know but nothing rhymes with you stupid name! Did you maybe have like a nickname, that would be easier to rhyme?
RACHEL-um...
MONICA-Oh, didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
RACHEL-Oh! yeah.
PHOEBE-Pumpkin? yeah. Ok but did he ever call you like-BooDolf?
ROSS-I dont know which one to choose, I mean the one from Poughkeepsie, even though she's a two hour train ride away, is really pretty and smart, and fun, but the one from uptown she's, uh, just as pretty, i guess she's smart, she's NOT fun.
PHOEBE-Well, if she's not fun why do you want to go out with her?
ROSS-Well, she's so close, I figure I'll give her another chance. And yesterday, at the end of the date, she said something that if she was kidding was very funny. But on the other hand if she wasnt well then, she's not fun, stupid, and kinda a racist.
ROSS-Turns out the one from uptown WAS making a joke, but it was a different joke than I thought and it wasnt that funny...
