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Professor
Biff Wellington After years of thought provoking research, Professor Biff Wellington has finally allowed us to publish this list in order that you may categorize your poo poos. Please feel free to email the address below and let him know personal intimate details of your bowel movements. |
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| The Ghost | You feel the shit come out, but the toilet is empty? | |||||||||
| The 10 Pointer | You squeeze it out, it's in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper - yes!! | |||||||||
| Wet and Nasty | You wipe your butt at least 50 times and it still feels dirty, so you put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear, just in case.. | |||||||||
| The Rerun | You're done crapping and you've pulled up your pants, when, damn it, you realize you have to crap. | |||||||||
| Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Shit | You strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. | |||||||||
| Trumpeter | It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing. | |||||||||
| Morning After Special | You wake up hung-over and take a much needed shit. Three hours later you're spouse is screaming at you because of the huge skidmarks you left in the toilet. | |||||||||
| The Lincoln Log | So huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. | |||||||||
| Corn Shit | Self-explanatory | |||||||||
| Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Shit-Shit | You really want to shit but all you do is sit on the toilet, and strain and fart a few times. | |||||||||
| Spinal Tap | It hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways. | |||||||||
| Splish-Splash | Rockets out of your butt so fast, you get splashed with water. | |||||||||
| Liquid Shit | Yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over your toilet bowl. | |||||||||
| Mexican Shit | Smells so bad your nose burns. | |||||||||
| The Surprise | You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops a shit!! | |||||||||
| The Dangler | This shit refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done shitting it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. | |||||||||
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legionofflames@zimmershole.com
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