We’ve been dealing with the different aspects of love this month.
We have already discussed Tender Love, Tough Love, Sacrificial love.
Today, we’ll be dealing with one more aspect that is, Radical Love.
Some of us could have been experiencing some kind of confusion because
we really cannot understand whether we’ll all be all the way down practice
tender love. But some of us could have felt somewhat dizzy because
the following Sunday, we were admonished that we should also be tough.
We, then, ask the question, “Which one should I really practice as a Christian,
tender or tough love?” We would like to say this is a false choice.
You cannot choose between the two. Both must be demonstrated in our
Christian life. Let me suggest the occasion by which we can demonstrate
what we are dealing here about love. I just thought it is my responsibility
to clear some cloudy ideas because I myself ask question when I should
practice tender, tough, sacrificial, and radical love.
We manifest (and should demonstrate) tender love when we
see and meet people experiencing trouble and difficulties that they have
no control of. We show tender love when we learn people experiencing
hardship to something they should not be experiencing in the first place
because they seem not deserving to have such kind of difficulties
they bear. We should also, along with tender love, manifest in our lives
tough love. We are not hesitated to show it because of the precious
souls of people we love who are being destroyed by sin. We will take
the risk of perhaps losing a strong bond of relationship, yet we
will not be tempted to prioritize relationship because the issue here could
be a matter of life and death. We don’t live our loved ones being
destroyed by sin. That’s why we feel obligated to practice tough love.
Sacrificial love is daring because one is willing to set aside his or her
interest without pain for the interest of others. It’s a biblical concept
because we are told “to lay down our lives for others just as Christ did.”
Bill Hybels described sacrificial love as a kind of giving without giving
out. We now come to the last aspect of love which is radical love.
Matthew 5:38-42 says,
You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for
tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If
someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him
have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go
with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and
do not run away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
In this passage, Jesus is showing us another aspect of love--radical
love. Radical love is replacing the old law of vengeance which is
‘eye for an eye’, with the new spirit of non-resentment and of non-retaliation.
Jesus’ intention here is not to assert that His disciples should remain
passive, willing to be a doormat. Keep in mind that Jesus’s intention
here was to accomplish spiritual victories and for his children to understand
that there are more important principles than just proving that they are
right and living in truth.
Principles that Jesus was teaching when He admonished His followers
to practice nonretaliatory, second mile, radical love. Why did he
want His followers to be radical lovers?
I. Retaliation is a dead-end road.
In Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, He was dealing with the attitudes and intents of the heart and not simply with external action. The Pharisees said that righteousness is consisted of performing certain actions, but Jesus said it centered in the attitudes of the heart. The Pharisees were insisting that you must perform in order to be pleasing. Jesus was saying that they may still not pleasing even if they are already doing something because he looks at the heart’s attitude. You may have not physically murdered someone but when you got angry with your brother, you already did murder. It’s not the action, it’s what is in the heart and what could possibly happen if it stayed there. Jesus is admonishing us to be a radical, nonretaliatory, second-mile lovers. Why? For what purpose? Because retaliation is a dead-end road. We all know very well the characteristic of a dead-end road. The point is it won’t get you anywhere. Have you been looking for a place and suddenly you realize you’re driving to an unfamiliar place. You drove all the way down only to find out you’re hitting a dead-end. You have to back out because you know you’re going nowhere. That’s exactly what and how retaliation works many times in many places to many people. People do retaliate hoping that it will help eliminate the screaming deep within. They retaliate hoping that everything deep down within will be calmed; that what they do will make sense until finally all they got is heartache, worry, guilt, high blood pressure, and most of all, lost of honor. Sometimes we have that strong tendency to retaliate, or to “create fire” so to speak, when what is really involved or endangered is not and never Its tender love when people are in need. Its tough love when people are in sin. Its sacrificial love when a loving person is parting with, or postponing, and even forgetting whatever is precious to him for the sake of other people.
A moral issue but only a personal preference. Let’s not lose our honor
by making unnecessary retaliation simply because of a personal preference.
A slap in the face has been regarded as a gross insult in all ages, but
it is not an assault which imperils life. That is why Jesus was saying
that since the issue you are perhaps dealing with is not whether something
is moral or immoral, you must always provide a way for your friends to
reach you by building a bridge between you and him. What is usually
involved in retaliation is the so-called self-preservation. Everything
boils down to self. It goes nowhere because it’s a dead end road. It goes
nowhere because we are no longer listening to what others are saying.
It goes nowhere because what we believe is always true and perhaps the
only truth as far as we’re concern.
II. Retaliation leaves a deeper mark on others that
we’re a spiritually hardened person.
Retaliation is a sign of how immature and impatient a person is
especially when no moral issue is at stake. It is shameful
to hear Christians retaliating simply because of male honor, bravado, and
machismo. We certainly cannot discount the fact that we live in a
revenge-oriented society culture where the basic ingredient for life’s
success is to get-even if not to be ahead of everyone. But this goes
contrary to what Jesus is really teaching his disciples like us.
He does not desire for His disciples to take any personal revenge.
He expects His followers to grow and mature in their relationships with
other people. How will others know that we are really maturing in
Christ? Is it by the number of Bible study we are attending?
Is it a matter of how many times we read the Bible from cover to cover?
Is it a matter of putting a bumper sticker in our cars? Jesus is
saying here that if we are really serious in creating a lasting impact
in the lives of others, we must not demonstrate what an spiritually immature
believer demonstrates: retaliation! There is so much compelling
power when we did what is not normal to many people who are born and live
in a hostile, revenge-oriented society. They will tell themselves
how come there are still people like you who are willing to give up your
rights in nonmoral issues and letting someone taking advantage of you.
Surely, they will wonder why because their orientation is different!
There is a great challenge for God’s people to grow and mature
in their relationship with other people. It takes a radical lover
to break the cycle of interpersonality. The cycle of hostility must
be stopped if there is ever going to be relational harmony but it
will take a radical, second-mile lover to stop any hostility. Somebody
has to absorb an injustice instead of inflicting another one on somebody
else. This can be done once we have taken the challenge of becoming a radical,
non-retaliatory, second-mile lover. One more thing unfortunate is
that this cycle of hostility is inherited by the next generation who was
innocent about everything but because their parents did not care to stop
the cycle of hostility but remained “infants” as far as relationships are
concern, these innocent ones are suffering, directly inheriting the hostility
of people who did not care to listen to Jesus’ non-retaliatory procedures.
III. Retaliation hurts our relationship with God and others.
The original law was a fair one; it kept people from forcing the
offender to pay a greater price than the offense deserved. It prevented
people from taking personal revenge. Jesus clarified that old law
with an attitude: be willing to suffer loss yourself rather than
cause another to suffer. The person who retaliates only makes himself
and the offender feel worse; more than this, their attitude (retaliation)
hurts God. How is this true? I John 4:19, 20 says that if we
say we love God and hate the brother we see, we are considered liars.
Why? “For he cannot love God, whom he has not seen, if he does not
love his brother, whom he has seen.” (v. 20)
I Corinthians tells us why love is the most important value and
what happens when I don’t have it.
13:1 - If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have
not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. This
means that if we don’t have love, all that we say is ineffective.
13:2a - If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge,. . .but have not love, I am nothing.” This means
that all that I know is incomplete.
13:2b - If I have a faith that can move mountains but have not
love, I am nothing. This means that all I believe is insufficient.
13:3a - If I give all I posses to the poor . . .but have not
love, I am nothing. This means that all I give is
insignificant.
13:3b - If I surrender my body to the flames. . .but have not
love, I am nothing. This means that all I accomplish is inadequate.
Let me say this: Tough love is more important when the
soul is in danger to suffer eternally because of sin. But relationship
is more important than retaliation especially to nonmoral issues. Not loving
your brothers by showing retaliation simply is an offense to God and we
are condemned as liars especially when the root of it is personal preferences.
Conclusion:
It’s tender love when people are in need. It’s tough love
when people are in sin. It’s sacrificial love when a loving person is parting
with, or postponing, and even forgetting whatever is precious to him for
the sake of other people. It’s radical love when you’re pulling down
and breaking down the hostility cycle that has developed for years.Its
tender love when people are in need. Its tough love when people are
in sin. Its sacrificial love when a loving person is parting with, or postponing,
and even forgetting whatever is precious to him for the sake of other people.
