Continuing in our series. Tender Love, Tough Love, and this
morning Sacrificial Love.
Love is defined in many ways: a many spendored thing, a
flower, a gift, a song, a movie, a book, a feeling, a commitment, an action
but most modern definitions include the idea that whoever is doing the
loving they expect something in return.
In the contemporary view of love, that we see on the movie screen,
or even read about in the newspapers, what is important is not what I give
to a relationship but what I get out of it. The Good Samaritan today
would not make much sense. To love like that would be taking too
much of a risk and we might get hurt. If we stopped to help just
anybody, we might be taken advantage of. They might ask what advantage
would I receive for getting involved. What is in it for me?
You remember that the Samaritan got nothing for his care and
concern. It took his time, his energy, and his money. The wounded
man could give nothing in return. That is a sacrifical type of love.
In the real world love is usually more closely related to work
than enjoyment. It usually costs a great deal to really love like
we should. Ask yourself, how can we love without spending time, energy,
or money. Some Christians stress the fun, fellowship and fulfillment
aspects of Christianity without ever mentioning the sacrifice we are called
to make.
True love is sacrificial. You will be called upon to give
up your ploans, ;your independence, and your privacy if you love something
or someone. To love as God loves, you have to part with whatever
is most precious to you for the sake of other people.
Society today teaches us that we are the one that is most important.
If we work hard, then we deserve the best, ads and TV shows instruct us
to take care of ourselves first. If you do not take care of yourself
then nobody else will. Sacrificial love is a hard concept to grasp
because all around us we hear that if we protect our time, conserve our
energy, and save our money then we will be happy.
Throughout the Bible we are taught that personal fulfillment
never comes through self-gratification. If we want to be happy and
know what real love is, we must get involved in other people’s lives.
Jesus said “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take
up his cross and follow me. And whoever want to save his life will
lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save
it” Mark 8:34-35.
In addition, a couple of shapters later he taught that “Whoever
wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants
to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not
come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:43-45.
Bookstores are filled with ideas of how to be successful, happy,
and full of love. The titles are life this, 10 ways to success, 7
steps to happiness, 5 building blocks to all you ever wanted. These
books are sually on the best seller lists because millions of people are
looking for what they promise. Jesus book would say “Love and
Give everything away.” When you give yourself to God and serve his
people with sacrificial love, you find a fulfillmlent and satisfaction
the world can never experience.
Where can we find this love? How can we begin to experience
this kind of life? Where would we get that kind of power to love
that much?
I. A Look at Marriage
How does sacrifical love operate in marriage? The world’s
idea of marriage is that your partner should make you a better a person.
Marriage should not inhibit either spouse from living up to his or her
full potential. This sounds good on the outside but is is really
selfish. It is sayaing that as long as the partner helps me, then
I will love him. Careers and personal wants come first. Each
person should not put the other’s needs above his or her own because lthat
would lead to a loss of self-esteem. Everybody needs to fulfill his
or her own dream. If either person discovers that he or she is giving
more that he or she is getting then a power struggle begins and discussions
about rights and guarantees begins. If no agreement is reached then
the marriage is dissolved on the basis of the spouse not getting enough
out of the relationship. Without sacrifical love, marriage will never
last long. Each person must give 100% to the relationship or else
there will be constant arguments and disagreements over whose turn it is.
The world’s view emphasizes maximum pleaslure with minimum sacrifice.
It does not take into account illnesses that leave people crippled emotional
disturbances, financial reversals, or even the arrival of a helpless but
demanding baby.
God’s wisdom is completely different from the worlds. In
a biblical marriage, each partner looks the other in the eye and says,
“I Love you, which by definition means I commit myself to serve you, to
build you up, to encourage you on. I know full well this is going
to cost me lots of time, energy, and money, but I want to put your interest
ahead of mine. I’ll stand at the back of the line, you go first.”
There is no power struggle instead it becomes a serving contest in which
each one is trying to outdo the other.
Jesus words again ring out “Whoever wants to save his life will
lose it” In marriage we begin to see how sacrifical love must be
practiced or the relationship will never grow into what God intended it
to be. How have you sacrificed for your wife and family? Do
not keep track or the point is lost but think about ways you can serve
them in a fuller way and begin to experience this kind of love that comes
by giving your self to others.
Sacrificial love is the backbone of lasting and fulfilling marriages
but it also the backbone of strong friendships.
II. A Look At Friendships
The world does not understand the Christian concept of brotherhood
and sisterhood Friendship for most people is getting to know those around
us who are like-minded, have the same income, speak the same language,
and share the same culture. These are safe people who will not start
asking for lots of help. These kinds of friendships seem fine until
tragedy strikes and you really need someone to lean on. When you make no
investments in anybody’s life, very few people will make any investment
in yours. Christian friendship is different. People in the church
who are following the words of Jesus decide at the beginning that they
will expend themselves for others. You invest time, energy, and often
money to help other people simple because they need help. You meet
regularly with them, you encourage, counsel, challenge and rebuke each
other. You make sacrifices for the good of the other person.
Such sacrificial love is the foundation of true friendships. Listen
to the words of Paul about this kind of service in Romans 12:9-21.
What a powerful passage aabout service!! If the church is going
to be a place where people have there needs met in physical, emotional,
and spiritual ways we must follow these words of Paul. The only way
we can do that is to learn to love sacrificially.
However, if we love like that we will soon run out of energy,
fime and resources. What can we do? Many stop loving and refuse
to get involved because they are afraid that it will cost them to much.
The commitment to love is limited to what they see is possible with their
own abilities and finances. We must go beyond what we can see.
III. A Look at Ourselves
Sacrificial love is extremely exhausting. After a certain
amount of giving and serving, and expending, ;you begin to feel weak and
numb, as if you have nothing left to give. If we are not careful,
your good intentions can lead you to a life of misery because you are depending
on yourself to do the loving. We begin to avoid people because they
represent more problems. Phone calls become interruptions.
Letters can even be obligations to attend to. Unexpected guests are
invaders. When these temptations come, many want to just give up
and stop loving.
But there is an answer. We need to draw our strength from
the Lord. We cannot begin to love the whole world on our own.
We cannot even love our own family on our own. Our strength
of service comes from our relationship to God. Great men of faith
throughout history have been an example of how we call need to take time
to just be with God. We all need periods of refreshing and refueling
for the work that lies ahead. Jesus did the same thing after long
periods of loving, serving, healing, and teaching. He dismissed the
crowds and went up on the mountain by himself to pray. Mt. 14:23.
If Jesus needed this kind of refreshing and refueling how much more do
we.
If we are going to serve sacrifically and we must, then we must
also learn to slow down and encourage ourselves in God. Daily we
need to seek time with our Creator. He knows everything about us.
He understands all the problems we face. No one can help you more
with the service you are giving than God. Talk with the Lord, and
read his Word. Allow him to regenerate you spiritual energies.
Then you will be able to serve in a sacrificial way.
Emotionally you need to find ways to relax so you can help those
people who will drain you emotional energy. We are limited to how
much we can give. If we go too far the little distractions of life
become major and discouragement sets it. Through relaxation and recreation,
we fill up our emotional reserves so we can continue to serve. Physically
we need to eat the right food, sleep enough, and exercise so that we are
physically in shape so that God can use us to our greatest potential.
Conclusion:
Real loving is not easy. It will cost you more than you
can imagine. After you have spent all the time, energy, and money
that you can spare, you will have to take time out for refueling in order
to keep on spending ;your resources. But sacrifical loving will reward
you more that you have ever dreamed. Jeses told his disciples in
Mt. 19:27-29 these words. READ.
If you give yourself to God and to others, God will reward yoiu
far beyond what you can imagine. He will pour out a return so great,
that over a period of time, you will marvel at how full your life is.
Your worship will be filled with wonder, your vision clearer, your songs
will be weeter, your daily walk will be exciting, and your service will
be pleasing to God. Today’s imitation love offers no such rewards.
Love can be tender, love can be tough, but for love to be love
it must be sacrificial. Jesus has set the example of how we should
love and he has given us the power through the Holy Spirit to love others.
We can love because He has first loved us. Remember His words in
Mk. 8:34-36. “If any of you want to be my followers, you must forget
about yourself. You must take us your cross and follow me.
If you lwant to save your life, you will destroy it. But if you give
up your life for me and for the good news, you will save it. What
will you gain, if you own the whole world but destroy yourself? What
could you give to get back your soul?” CEV version.
Love is not getting but giving. Love does not use people
to get what it wants. Love does not set a limit on how far it will
go in the relationship.
Paul says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy,
it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails!”
I Cor. 13:4-8.
May God give us the strength to live out this kind of sacrificial
love in our homes and in our church. This is the kind of relationship
that we need ifwe are to minister to people wherever they are. As
we give of ourselves, God will empower us with his Spirit to love like
He loves.
