SHIT HAPPENS
CONFUCIANISM
Confuscious say "Shit Happens".
CALVANISM
Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
BUDDHISM
If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
ZEN
What is the sound of shit happening.
7th DAY ADVENTIST
No shit happens on Saturday.
HEDONISM
There's nothing like a good shit happening.
HINDUISM
This shit happened before.
MORMON
This shit will happen again.
ISLAM
If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
MOONIES
Only happy shit really happens.
STOICISM
This shit is really good for me.
PROTESTANTISM
Let shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM
Shit happens because you deserve it.
HARE KRISHNA
Shit happens, shit happens, shit happens.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS
Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens.
ATHEISM
Shit happens for no apparent reason.
AGNOSTICISM
Farts happen.
ZOROASTRIANISM
Shit happens half the time.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE
Shit is in your mind.
WICCA
Shit happens if you will it to happen.
SCIENTOLOGY
Faeces occur.
EXISTENTIALISM
Shit is, therefore it happens.
RASTAFARIANISM
Let's smoke this shit, man!
JUDAISM
So why does shit always happen to us?
GNOSTICISM
Shit happens while you are here on earth.
NIETZSCHEISM
Shit doesn't happen.
KENJA
Let us process your shit.
AMWAY
Do you have courage to change the shit?
RAJNEESH
Become one with the shit, embrace it totally.
TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION
Have no thoughts of the shit.
NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
Shit is created by words used.
REBIRTHING
Traumatic birth is the source of all shit.
REIKI
Shit is the result of blocked energy.
FREUDIAN PSYCHOANALYSIS
Shit happens due to anal retention.
SIDHA YOGA
Chant God, shit gone.
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