Perfomance Reviews

Some of you
might like to know
what the supervisor is really saying
in all those glowing
employee work performance evaluations
he/she
keeps cranking out!

AVERAGE
Not too bright.

EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED
Has committed no major blunders to date.

ACTIVE SOCIALLY
Drinks heavily.

ZEALOUS ATTITUDE
Opiniated.

CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH
Still one step ahead of the law.

UNLIMITED POTENTIAL
Will stick with us until retirement.

QUICK THINKING
Offers plausible excuse for errors.

TAKES PRIDE IN WORK
Conceited.

TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY CHANCE TO PROGRESS
Buys drinks for supervisors.

INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION
Knows more than superiors.

STERN DISCIPLINARIAN
A real jerk.

TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS
Knows when to keep mouth shut.

APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC
Find someone else to do the job.

A KEEN ANALYST
Thoroughly confused.

NOT A DESK PERSON
Did not go to university.

EXPRESSES SELF WELL
Can string two sentences together.

SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB
Miserable home life.

CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL
Scared.

METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL
A nitpicker.

DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP
Has a loud voice.

JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND
Lucky.

MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE
A snob.

KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR
Knows lots of dirty jokes.

STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES
Stubborn.

GETS ALONG WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES
A coward.

SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE
Stupid.

OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISTION
Turns in work n time.

IS USUALLY LOYAL
Wanted by no-one else.

ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS
A real gossip.

REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDE RE-ADJUSTMENT
Lazy and hard-headed.

HARD WORKER
Usually does it the hard way.

ENJOYS JOB
Needs more to do.

HAPPY
Paid too much.

WELL ORGANISED
Needs more to do.

COMPETENT
Is still able to get work done even if supervisor helps.

CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN
Pain in the arse.

WILL GO FAR
Related to management.

SHOULD GO FAR
Please, oh please.

USES TIME EFFECTIVELY
Clock Watcher

VERY CREATIVE
Finds five reasons to do anything except original work.

USES RESOURCES WELL
Delegates everything.

DESERVES PROMOTION
(or anything else....just get him/her away from me!)