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Agent 'G
Chapter 1
by 'G;)
5-16-98 to 12-7-98



Summary:
'G gets her wish and discovers just what it's like to be in that secret organization known as the GIB! Very funny story! About 5 pg.'s



The other-dimensional gargoyle known as 'G followed the stranger known as "Agent 007" into the main doors of a non-descript building. She still didn't know exactly what was going on, or what was going to happen next, and wasn't too happy about it but sensed that these people were not to be trifled with. Better wait and see instead of asking questions that might make these people mad. From what she was seeing now, it was a darn good idea.

There were several other black-clad gargoyles in the building, and some were not full-blood gargoyles. She even saw a human wearing all black, talking quietly to a gargoyle.

The building itself was pretty bare. No decor. It was blank, almost sterile. And there were a lot of doors but no signs. As it turned out, "Agent 007" opened one and went in. 'G followed.

The only things in the small room they entered were a large desk and, sitting behind it, a female gargoyle.

"Here you go, K." 007 said before leaving the room.

'G stood alone, waiting.

"Well, well. I've been hearing a lot about you." the black-skinned gargoyle in black started, absently tapping a pencil on her desk.

'G did not respond.

"The silent type, huh?" she smiled. "That's okay." She put the pencil down and folded her hands atop the desk, looking hard into 'G's eyes. "I'm told you would like to know more about certain activities you've witnessed recently."

"Yes." she answered, keeping voice and expression plain.

"Alright. I'll tell you. But first I'd like you to tell me who you are, because you aren't Jade Griffin."

What the-?! How did they-?? The alternate reality double couldn't hold back her surprise at that comment. She'd thought for sure that no one knew. She didn't even have her wings dyed black when 007 'requested' she come with him.

Agent K saw the surprise blossum across the other gargoyle's face. "Ah, yes. We know all about the solitary Jade Griffin. We're very good at what we do here, and one of the things we do is keep track of people, including gargoyles." she leaned toward 'G. "Now; who're you?"

Well, if she wanted to get anywhere... "Call me 'G."

"Do you have a name?"

"Yes, and you can't have it."

K raised her brow ridges at 'G. Hmm... "Where exactly are you from? We've found no information pertaining to your identity or even your existance."

'G narrowed her eyes at the strange gargoyle. She wasn't going to make it easy. "Since you keep tabs on everyone, I think you might already know, or have a guess. What do you think?"

"Well, there is one solid theory. That you're from a parallel reality to this one. Are we close?"

'G threw on a sly smile. "Yup."

K studied the other gargoyle carefully. It almost sounded like she was already an agent... of something. Hm... Well, they'd need new agents sooner or later, and what else were Neuralizers for, anyway?

"You wanna know what we do here? Okay." She stood and leaned over the desk, right hand held out. "Agent K, Head of the GIB."

'G stepped forward slowly to shake the other's hand. "'GIB'?"

"Yep." K stepped around the desk and headed out. "I'll explain as I give you the tour."

A lopsided grin slowly spreading across her face, 'G followed after with rising curiosity.

"Are you with the government?" the other-reality gargoyle asked K.

"Technically? I suppose. Our official title would be Does-Not-Exist." she answered, grinning, as she turned down a hall. "We work in conjunction with the MIB, another D-N-E 'government' faction. We are the right arm of the MIB, the Men In Black."

"Humans?"

"Yeah. Funny, ain't it." K smirked.

K walked up to another non-descript door, opened it, and went in. 'G, right behind her, was surprised to find animals in the large room. They were kept in a pen with electronic barriers. "Llamas?"

"Well... mostly."

'G stepped closer to look the three animals over. A cream-colored one folded its ears back at her approach and looked at her. From its eyes, two bright pink pinpoint lasers shot out, smacking against the electronic barrier with a lout zap!

'G jumped back, startled.

"Like I said. Mostly llamas." K said with a little smile, arms folded across her chest. "You saw a few GIB Agents rounding up some TD's but we also hafta deal with these guys. And then there're the aliens and rogue-gerbils and... Yeah; I think it would be better to explain as I show you."

For the rest of her 'tour', 'G heard, and saw, some pretty weird and unbelievable things; none of which she'd have believed if just told. Aliens by the hundreds diguised as humans and pets? Killer gerbils? Llama assassins? It was all pretty impressive, too-- the gadgets and tech-stuff. Research and Development had just finished the design of a new weapon when she and K happened by. That llama with the lazer eyes wouldn't be more than a splat with that firepower. 'G was glad they were the good guy.

When they returned to K's office, the GIB Head took a seat. "So that's the long and the short of it. We aid the Men In Black in policing and politicking the other-worlders and assorted other critters who like to get outta line." K looked the other-dimensional gargoyle over. Even with all her experience at reading people, she couldn't decifer what 'G was thinking.

"This certainly is an interesting place, and an interesting job." 'G's eyes panned around K's office again.

"Oh?"

Two gargoyles trying to be sly on each other wasn't getting anywhere. Time to get down to business. "Can anyone join in the fun?" 'G grinned.

"Not anyone. We have to check you out, run you through a few... tests; all the normal qualifications. Interested, 'G?" K challenged.

Her answer was a most definite. "Yes."


'Check you out' had nothing to do with medical. It went along with the 'tests', which included physical, mental, and a session of 'G against 30 of those little killer gerbils in a small room. Well, she'd asked for it! she told herself, fighting off the little bastards with talon and claw. In the middle of that, she got a bit of a break as the sun rose. Chew on stone, furballs!

'G awoke to a continued assault from the rogue 'rodents'. Guess she learned two things there. Gerbils never give up, and thank goodness for stone sleep! She'd had some nasty bites from the little buggers last night. Managing the last 8 in as many minutes, 'G surveyed her surroundings, waiting. Nothing else came at her. Okay.

The door behind her opened up. K walked in carrying a small tray, which 'G instantly tagged as food. "Good job."

'G sniffed again at the tray. "Unidentifyable. Is it mine?" Her longing was unmistakeable. Her biggest weakness was food but she couldn't hide it. Yet.

"Yep. We don't starve our people." K smiled, handing her the tray.

'G took it and sat on the ground amid the bodies of gerbils, only concerned about eating. Smelled tasty, if unidentifyable. She lifted the plate cover on the tray. And blinked.

"What the heck is this?!" 'G pointed to the little, yellow, squirming... things... on the tray.

"An Orellian delicacy. Unfortunately, they expect us to eat with them as a gesture of good faith. We see dignitaries pretty frequently so it's a requirement that all Agents acquire a taste for alien foods. Sorry."

'G looked down at the weird things, almost pouting.

"Don't worry. We eat normal stuff all the time. Try something different!" K said as she left 'G to her 'meal'.

Well... They did smell a little like chicken pot pie. She popped one into her mouth. It tasted like... Ugh.. Chicken taffy... 'G shuddered as she swallowed the still-squirming thing. Might as well get it over with... One by one, 'G consumed all twenty-two and a half of the squirmy things. Half 'cause one was, and decidedly dead. She admitted it wasn't a horrible taste, but it would never go on her "500 most favorite foods" list. Ugh.

Nobody came in so she took the tray and opened the door to leave. Five GIB Agents pushed passed her to get inside but she ignored them. K was waiting in the hallway.

"Can I have some normal food now?"

"Still hungry?" K was impressed.

'G narrowed her eyes at the GIB Head. "...Yeah?"

"Might I interest you in a Cathran cheeseball?"

"Whassinit?"

"Cheese. And fish eyes. Pretty slimy but good!" K grinned at the dark green gargoyle's groan.

"Oookay."

"Right this way." K led 'G on to the large kitchen, currently inhabited by two other Agents and two Annelids, those little talking worm guys. Over at the coffee machine, of course.

They all greeted K and she waved back. "This is 'G, the newbie."

The worm guys snickered in the background.

"Hey!" K glared at them.

"Pahtayav goolda, K."

"Yeah, well, I'd like ta see you do it!" K turned back to the two other Agents. "'G, this is Agent KC. She's in Agency Operations. And this is Agent S, Head of GIB Intelligence."

"Hi." KC smiled in greeting from around her sandwhich.

'G waved back.

"Nice to have some new faces around here." S said. "You having lunch?"

"'G is going to try a Cathran cheeseball."

Their chairs fell over as the Agents jumped up like they'd been shot and ran out.

"Sh**!" one of the Annelids cursed as they both scurried out all-speed, right behind the retreating Agents.

"Um.. Okay." K turned to the 'special' refridgerator.

"K?"

The black-skinned gargoyle put on some heavy duty gloves."Yeah?" She lifted out a softball-sized bright yellow-orange thing and set it on a free plate beside the dish rack.

"Is there something I should know about this particular cheeseball?" 'G asked, trying not to show her nervousness. C'mon. It's just food. These guys have eaten them before.

"Well... It isn't a favorite among the other Agents because of it's odor. Trust me when I say you'll wreak for a week. It's my personal opinion that the Cathrans did it on purpose so we couldn't sneak up on 'em; or anyone else; after dining with them at diplomatic functions. Yer gonna get one sooner or later so it might as well be now."

'G took a reluctant seat and K set the plate before her.

"Oh, and eat it before it melts. It gets nasty quick. See you in a few nights." K waved and smiled and exited quickly.

'G stared at yet another unagreeable food. Oh boy.. A week? She sniffed the thing. Smelled good. She dug in and soon found it most delicious. It disappeared quickly.

Maybe the smell thing was exaggerated. She didn't smell anyth-- Oh, man! What the heck's that smell! It was coming from her... Aw, maaaan...

"Oh, and 'G?" K's voice came over an intercomm. "That smell is llama. Biiig llama. Get to know it well."

"I'm sure I will!" she called loudly up to the intercomm, her eyes beginning to water. Phew! A week? Of this??.... She was really gonna earn her place here...

"You've been assigned quarters on the top level. A-51. High up so you can air out. Take the elevator at the left of the kitchen door and make yourself at home. Oh, and I wouldn't wander around or go anywhere if I were you. When Agents smell llama, they can be a little trigger-happy. If you need anything, just gimme a buzz."

"I will! You can bet on that..." 'G muttered, leaving the kitchen.


'G didn't see anybody on the way to her room. She wondered if word of her 'lunch' had spread faster than the smell. Probably. She could barely stand herself! But she had to grin. She'd wanted some excitement and variety. 'G had the feeling that her life was about to get a lot less routine.

Room A-51. 'G opened the door and stepped in. Wow... 'Rooms' was more like it. she wandered around the spacious quarters, counting three rooms. Livingroom, kitchen, and a combo comm. and work room. Cool... Getting into the computer, she found she had a message on a closed network message system. It read: ' 'G. AN AIR FRESHENER IS IN THE BASKET IN THE KITCHEN. K.'

Is that was that was! 'G hurried to the large kitchen and opened the lid to the wood basket. Ahhhh... The scent of fresh strong mint poured out, a friendly smell to her abused nostrils. She carried the basket back to the computer and opened the message system. K's location was given in the previous message and 'G had memorized it on sight. She sent a query. Yep. A moment later, K responed. She suggested if 'G got bored, she could dig around in some info databases. That would make training go much faster. 'G said thanks and logged off, wanting to get a head start if nothing else. That was something from her past she couldn't shake. Succeed, or else.

The five nights went pretty quickly, considering she was confined to quarters. Most of it was time spent studying up on the rules, regulations, procedures, and various visitors and critters. She fixed food in the stocked kitchen-- good, normal food, and even got some t.v. through the computer. No one came by but that was probably for the better. The mint only lasted two days. She considered asking K for another basket but decided she'd better suck it up and stick it out. According to the data she'd been reading, llamas were the most troublesome critters the GIB dealt with. Yeah, she'd recognize that smell anywhere, anytime. 'G wondered if all GIB Agents were initiated this way, or just her. She didn't have any regrets, though. She had no doubt that this, all of it, was the something she'd been wanting to find.

The smell started to go away on the fourth night. By the fifth, it had lessened to a tolerable level. Almost with every breath, she smelled less and less of the stench ingrained upon her brain as 'llama'. The large window was left open continually and helped move the smell out. There was a knock at the door while 'G stood at the window.

"Come in?"

The door opened and K entered. She took a deep breath. "Ah... Right on time. You know, I thought about using the cheeseballs for cover when infiltrating llama hideouts but I don't think we could tolerate the stink for so long. Some Agents can't handle it. Most of those are into technical stuff anyway and make up some of our support crew in R and D, Surveillance, etc. Just to let you know, we all go through this sooner or later. It just usually isn't done after your first night here. Think you're ready for training?"

"More that ready. Um, can I eat first?"

"Uh, have you ever travelled in any fast-moving vehicles?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Go ahead and grab something to go."

'Fast moving vehicles' turned out to be one whorendous driving test in a boxy Ford with a self-propulsion system. Niiice technology. K commented that they usually don't have to use the car, but llamas can sometimes pick up the sound of wings where a Ford motor blends in with the other street traffic. K didn't say anything about 'G's driving. It was easy to see that the other-dimensional gargoyle had driven before but the GIB Head didn't ask.

The rest of 'G's training that night consisted of tests on the material she'd studied from the databases, an accuracy rating and improvement schedule with various GIB issued weapons at the outside target range, and a personality profile twenty pages long to fill out. Next night was spent in a meeting discussing different situations the GIB encountered and how best to proceed. 'G enjoyed this a lot more than the other training because there were other Agents there, too. None were as new as she but K'd made it clear that all were supposed to attend this one. 'G counted close to a hundred gargoyles, and there were a couple of stone-faced black-suited humans standing in the back of the room. MIB Agents.

At the end of the session, K pointed out and named each Agent and their Division. Many of them came up and introduced themselves. 'G was a little overwhelmed. One, being the center of attention hadn't been expected, and two, she hadn't felt such a feeling of belonging and clanship in a long time.

As K talked with three other Agents 'G recognized as S, X, and B, the dark green gargoyle was approached by the MIB Agents.

"Agent A. MIB. This is Agent X, MIB. We're not too sure of you, kid. You're not from around here so we don't know if you play by the rules. Our rules. Just remember. We'll be watching you."

"Oh, I won't forget." 'G decided to stop any flip remarks in her brain befor she got sarcastic.

K wandered over as the MIB Agents left. "A give ya his speech?"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't worry about it. He's always like that. Good thing he's the only one. X doesn't say much at all."

"Geez! They're like right outta Dragnet!"

"Where do you think they got the character from?" K grinned. "C'mon."

"What? More training?" 'G asked, following the GIB boss out of the room.

"Nope. Not tonight."

"What then?"

K didn't answer. She led 'G to the surveillance room.

What could it be now? More forms? More alien cuisine? Introductions to the few aliens running around the place? 'G wasn't afraid. She just wanted ta know what to expect.

K sat at one of the main GIB computers and opened a system. She tapped in a few things and hit enter, then swivelled the chair around to face 'G.

"Congratulations, 'G. You are now an official Agent of the GIB. Your Agent designation is G. You will be assigned a partner, a weapon, and other standard issue GIB equipment. You seem best suited for Intelligence so you will report to Agent S or myself. Any questions?"

'G continued to stare at the screen bearing one large centered G. She was an Agent now..

"You have a locker in the locker room near the garage for any quick changes. I'd have you outfitted now but dawn's coming. 'G?"

"...Um.. Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Yeah." Agent 'G grinned, all of the future possibilities clearly visible to her now. "Oh, yeah."

The rising sun outside froze Agent 'G, Agent K, and all the GIB Agents susceptible to such.

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