"The Oscar And The Grammy"
a funny lil’ JG story
Jade Griffin
10-21-98 to 4-18-99
background: October 24th 1998. Jade Griffin’s child side was in the ‘cyberverse’ the evening of 10.15.98 and opened the door to the new fridge after Daniel, another visitor, turned the previous fridge into a child. Inside, the child side saw something strange—a gold pyramidal object. Not sure what it was, she bit down on it. The object zinged her teeth and heated up. She dropped it, it started to hover, then spin, then turned into a sphere which smacked into the unsuspecting child side, covering her completely in a gold metallic coating. She was unable to remove it. The next evening, when the child mind was dormant once more, Jade Griffin found that she could not resume her full age/size. She has since been stuck in the child body, gold-plated so to speak, for nine days.
The Chocolate Man continued to puzzle over the gold-covered, child-bodied Jade Griffin seated on his couch.
"Well, I don’t know what to make of it." he said finally, shaking his baffled brain.
"I have yet to find some way of getting rid of this." The very adult Jade Griffin trapped in the younger’s body motioned a hand to display her small gold form. "I have also decided that I don’t like magic." she added ruefully.
"Oh, it isn’t that bad, is it?"
"I had to ask Malcom for a ride over here. I can’t glide with these!" The none-too-happy gargoyle flipped a hand at the young wings on her back. "I was lucky to even catch him."
"Hm. I see. But the gold… whatever… hasn’t affected you otherwise?"
"No. And I think it’s more than enough that it keeps me in the child body. I should have tried to stop her sooner." Jade Griffin berated herself. "I can’t believe she bit down on that thing!"
"She is just a child."
"I know… I just-… Darn it! She heard me!"
"She did?" The Chocolate Man was surprised. The child side did not often hear Jade Griffin, or even know she was there, from what he’d been told. He waited for her to respond, as she looked to be talking to the other self in her head.
The gargoyle closed her eyes, putting all effort into conversing with the child side. I’m sorry. I know you didn’t know. You just gotta be more careful. Okay? I’m gonna find out a way to reverse it. Don’t worry.
Jade Griffin sighed. "I didn’t think she’d hear me. And she’s still listening…" The dark green gargoyle frowned in the pause. "Okay. She settled. Maybe it’s because I’m in the child body that lets her be aware of more." she hypothesized. "That’s happened before. If Comp would show his face around, I’d ask him about what happened to me. It could even have been him who put that pyramidoid there to begin with. Never can be too sure with fey-"
A loud knocking at the door startled them.
"HelOoo?" a rich, aristocratic voice called. "Are you in, Sweets?"
Dread shadowed the Chocolate Man’s face. "Oh, no…"
The child-bodied gargoyle was on her feet, tense. "Who is it?"
He cringed as the woman continued knocking loudly.
"Charliamaine Bouquo. I believe the woman is infatuated with me."
"Come now, dear. The lights are on. Come open the door." the woman outside sing-songed.
"I’m afraid she won’t leave ‘til she’s seen me."
"Does she know about gargoyles do you think?"
"Her? I highly doubt it."
"Well, I guess I’ll be in the kitchenette if you need me." the child-bodied Jade Griffin grinned at him.
"No… My room would be better. The woman is as bad in consuming chocolates as you." He returned her grin.
"Hmph. You sure you don’t think I should ‘meet’ this chick?"
"It is a tempting thought…"
"Oh, SwEE-eets!" the woman called again. "I must ask you something!"
"But I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. In all seriousness, I wouldn’t even consider it."
"As you say, Chocolate Man." the gargoyle conceded before heading into the short hall.
She’d never seen his room in all the years she’d known him, Jade Griffin realized upon standing before the door. She grasped the handle and turned, pushed it open.
Taking one long breath before pushing on, the Chocolate Man opened the door to his apartment.
"Well, well! The door is finally opened!" the tall woman breezed in, smiling her delighted smile.
"Er… Good evening. You wanted to ask me a question?"
"Aren’t we in a hurry now! Yet slow for the door? Come now, Sweets. Everything in its own time. And first, I must ask if you have those exquisite Grande Marnier with which to quench my yearnings."
The woman was positively overdramatic as a lifestyle! Jade Griffin heard from the inside of the bedroom but turned her attention back to the contents in the curious room. Nothing in here was what she’d expected.
For a man just over four feet tall, he sure had a huge bed! And a hammock right above it; and a much smaller hammock above that. How odd! The entire room, from wallpaper to bed sheets, was the color of dark chocolate, but it smelled like lilacs in here.
A long and loud sigh of relief came from the living room.
"Ohhhh, luscious confection of my dreams!" Ms. Bouquo fell into her chosen seat on the sofa beside the Chocolate Man just as he sprung up and away. She deposited another Grande Marnier chocolate truffle into her mouth. "How do you do it, Sweets? No, don’t tell me. You keep working your little magic and I shall continue to make the pilgrimage to get them."
"It’s not magic, and I can always ship more to you." But he knew she would turn down the offer. She always did.
"No, no, Sweets. I will make the effort…" The woman’s attention and train of thought altered as she stared at the coffee table. "Dear?"
He sighed. "Yes?"
"You have company over, don’t you?" She pointed out the two cups of remaining milk on the low table.
He blinked, realizing his mistake. "I… Um.. Well, I did. But they went home."
"But the milk is still cold, dear. It’s beading the cup."
"She just left; right before you."
"Another… woman?" She was trying to sound indifferent about that revelation.
"No. No. Just a friend."
"It’s… alright." She attempted grace, despite what she was obviously thinking. "But, honestly. She’s still here, isn’t she." The woman rose. "Come out, young lady." she called, walking briskly toward the bedroom door.
The Chocolate Man went after her but couldn’t stop the determined woman.
Jade Griffin heard the whole exchange. She heard the footsteps approaching and the Chocolate Man using a strict voice telling her NOT to go in there.
"I’m sure it’s nothing I haven’t seen before." She turned the door handle.
"Charliamaine, no."
The door opened. Jade Griffin didn’t bother to hide. Such a woman would search the room; in which there were no windows, strangely.
Charliamaine Bouquo laid eyes on the gold-covered, child bodied Jade Griffin and blinked, then smiled brightly. "So this is your guest!" She breathed a sigh of relief and focused her attention on the gargoyle. "Well, hello! What’s your name?"
"Um.. Jade Griffin?" She couldn’t believe the woman’s lack of response at seeing a gargoyle. Even her child side had gotten the usual fear and terror reaction.
Charliamaine turned chiding eyes on the Chocolate Man. "Shame on you, Sweets. Telling the poor child to stay in here while you talked to me. Oh, that is the grandest costume, too! For Halloween? Yes, I suppose it is. Come, now. You don’t have to stay shut up in here." And she swept the little Jade Griffin back into the living room, the Chocolate Man staring after them.
Costume! Jade Griffin was laughing on the inside. She thinks I’m in a costume!
"Ehh... What was it that you wanted to ask me, Charliamaine?" the Chocolate Man started as the woman told the gargoyle to sit beside her on the couch.
"Now, now. Don’t start in with that." She turned to Jade Griffin. "How old are you, child?"
"Uh.. six."
"And I suppose you know my Sweets because of his chocolates." she guessed.
Jade Griffin tried to hide her grin. "Yeah."
"Well, now…What was I here for? Oh, yes. Sweets? I dropped by to see if you’d like to go to a little social gathering I’ve been invited to. I’m sorry, child, but I don’t think children are allowed. Last time they caused such a raucous! It’s on the 31st of this month."
"…I don’t think I can, Charliamaine."
"Oh… Are you sure? They serve the best food, and there’s always the chance that royalty might show up. I guarantee you’d enjoy yourself; and you really should get out more."
"I’m afraid I can’t. This business leaves me little time of my own." It was true for the most part, and he really didn’t want to give the woman any fuel to continue her pesterings.
Jade Griffin considered goading him but decided to stay out of it. She was supposed to be six years old.
The woman sighed dramatically. "Are you sure, Sweets?"
"Yes."
"Well, if there’s no convincing you…" She looked pretty down but Jade Griffin surmised it was more dramaticizing again.
At that moment, a gossamer-winged pixie popped into the room and asked in a squeaky little voice, "Have you a number of guests, Charliamaine?"
"Well," the woman glanced once more at the shocked little man, unconcerned by his or Jade Griffin’s reaction to the newcomer. "It looks like it’s just me…"
As the pixie caught sight of Jade Griffin, she burst out laughing, pointing at the gargoyle and somersaulting hysterically mid-air in her mirth.
"What are you laughing at?" the child-bodied Jade Griffin asked, indignant.
The little thing continued to cackle uncontrollably.
"Brightness, what has gotten into you?" Charliamaine asked.
"She… she found my… prank!" the pixie gasped, spinning about.
"You did this?" Jade Griffin grabbed for the fey but she disappeared.
"Brightness. Come back and explain yourself." Ms. Bouquo commanded.
The pixie reappeared. "Hmph. No one likes jokes."
"Not when I can’t get rid of it!" the gargoyle countered.
"What exactly was the prank?" Charliamaine asked.
Jade Griffin turned to the woman and pointed to her skin. "This isn’t my normal skin color. I’m now gold-plated because of her!"
The woman turned to the hovering little pixie, no longer chuckling at her 'joke'. "Take it off, please, Brightness."
"But don't you like it?" the fey asked sweetly. "It's so pretty! And it's like an armor, too. Very strong!"
"Sorry to disappoint you but I don't. My cats won't come near me!" Remembering that angering fey, even a little one, caused big trouble, Jade Griffin added, "It was a very nice joke, but I can't live like this."
With a sigh, the pixie held out her hands to the gargoyle and clapped once. The gold peeled itself off of her and coalesced into a sphere before returning to the pyramidoid form. Brightness floated it above one hand, despite the fey being of equal size with it.
"Have fun at the party!" she waved, and then was gone before Jade Griffin could say anything else.
The Chocolate Man continued to stare after the little fey's exit. "Charliamaine?"
"Yes, Sweets?"
"You knew about fey, and gargoyles, all this time?"
"Yes, Sweets. And so do you! How nice." The woman smiled grandly at them both.
"But why did you think she was in a costume if you knew she was a gargoyle?" he was still very confused.
"Of course she's a gargoyle. How could anyone miss that! But how was I to know the gold wasn't a costume?" she protested innocently before rising. "Well, Sweets, I'm afraid I must be off. It was very nice meeting you, dear." She patted the child-bodied Jade Griffin on the hand.
"Thank you for helping me talk Brightness into taking that off. It was getting' kinda itchy."
"Oh, you're welcome, dear. Green is much more your color." With a final wave of her fingers, Charliamaine Bouquo swept out of the apartment.
The Chocolate Man and Jade Griffin stared after her departure.
"That was quite an interesting human." she remarked before switching back to her adult body with a sigh of pleasure.
"Indeed…" was the Chocolate Man's reply.
END
