Darcy's Story
"Safe In Here"...red and green gems, gleaming in the artificial light...they look so appetizing, but i've got to hold myself back. they're like candy to a little kid, just small enough to pop into your mouth by the handful. wow, they just remind me so much of the way i used to eat m-and-m's when i was younger...when i was younger...young, carefree...nothing in this crazy world bothered me in the slightest bit. well, except for when i got in trouble for something...then my parents bothered me. but after a while, everything changed. everyone changed. there's nothing more to it than that. all that mattered to me in the world was shattered...anyone that mattered to me in the world hurt me in some way, to the point where i didn't want to wake up to anyone or anything...no matter how nicely fake and artificial they seemed. and i've ended up where i am now, prepared to change everything. ah, these little gems. they're calling to me. they're talking to me. hell, this is the first time *anything* has bothered to talk to me in ages. i pop a few of them into my mouth and force myself to swallow, and this round is just for starters...to keep myself satisfied for the time being. i just sit there and stare at the ceiling for awhile, there's nothing better to do. and then it happens. my little friends show up: the voices. i try my hardest to keep them away, or to ignore them as much as i can. it's no use. they begin to question me, and ask me things that I know i'd never be able to answer. they ask me why? and how? and what for? and for who? there's no way i'd ever take the time or have the guts to attempt their questions, so i do the next best thing to answering them...i reach for the bottle and pop a few more pills into my now dried out mouth. It wards them off for a little while, then they come back to pester me again. "That's IT!!," i yell to no one in particular, "I've had enough of your shit! I've had enough of your empty lies and all the pain and suffering you've put me through! I'm not going to put up with it anymore!" as I reach for the bottle, intending to down the rest of it's contents, the years gone by race through my mind. i think of all the people that hurt me, of all the people that tried to hurt me and hurt themselves in the process...of all the people that *i've* hurt. "grrr.." i think to myself. "I can't live here anymore. i can't live with these damn voices...i can't live with the thought of everything. all these people did these things to me, and never even attempted to make up for it. not even my parents tried" i take a look around my room, invert the bottle, and dump the contents into my hand. i take one last sigh, and toss all of my little gems into my mouth. i manage to swallow them all in a large gulp, and i just sit back, waiting for them to take effect. i decide to put on some music for some strange reason, so i head over to my cd player. i don't feel like seeing what's in there, so i just hit play. my room fills with the music that had once inspired me to play my own music, to write, and to sing. i sit in my chair, and let it surround me. after a few songs, i hear a familiar intro. "oh no," i think out loud, "not this one." i suddenly feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and when the first verse hits, they let loose. they cover my face, and the front of my shirt. i bury my head in my hands and cry like a baby. I remember this song oh so well. it was *my* song. it was the only song i could relate to. the only song that really spoke to me. as i sit there crying, i suddenly feel myself reaching for the floor, and i'm being racked with a horrible jolt of pain. "shit, the pills," i think to myself. i now find myself unable to get up off the floor, mainly because they have numbed the left side of my tiny body. as i lay there on the floor, the only thought running through my mind is that i'm going to end it all listening to *my* song. hey...what's going on? the lights are fading! i can't see anything! but wait. what's that noise? oh, it's the end of my song. the time has run out. my time has run out. another day is gone for good, and it happens to be my last. i can hear that sweet voice as it's fading into the black. I can hear the last line as it's fading along with my life, my short, unexpected, useless, short life...come come naveed...come come naveed...come come stay...
Christina Harris
12 Huckleberry Lane
Truro NS
B2N 6K3
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