Several residents of Leisure World Seal Beach returned recently from the
Cruise From Hell. Most cruises are delightful and relatively problem-
free; this was the exception that proves the rule.
The cruise line shall be nameless, but the LW residents were Grant and
Nancy Vogel of Mutual Ten; Jean and Wilma Vander Woude of Mutual
Fourteen, who had an unforgettable experience; and Lorraine Hewitt of
Mutual Five, who had an even more unforgettable experience.
There was a curse on the ship from the start, according to some of the
passengers. To begin with, perhaps because of previous engine-room
fires and repairs, the ship was two hours late arriving at San Pedro to
pick up passengers. The cabins were icy cold the first night; crew
members were unable to fix this, and passengers finally resorted to
stuffing their air-conditioning units with towels or tape.
Next, because the ship was behind schedule, our stop at Puerto
Vallarta took place in the evening, disappointingly too late for any
sightseeing; and our promised stop at Zihuatenejo was skipped
altogether. Then the entire air-conditioning system, as we sailed into
this hot tropical climate, failed, and for two or three days and nights
everyone sweltered.
At Costa Rica, things began to seem brighter. We stopped as
promised and enjoyed seeing the area. But as we sailed away, late in
the night Jean Vander Woude became ill, and the captain and the
doctor agreed that the ship, three hours out of Costa Rica now, should
turn around and take him back to a hospital there. Not until morning
did the passengers learn that the ship was now behind schedule again.
It was a frightening experience for the Vander Woudes, to be left
under such circumstances in a strange country where hardly anyone
spoke English. The ship doctor told us Jean had had a massive heart
attack, and we worried about him until we got home. Later we learned
that his illness had not been so serious. He would have been much
better off staying on the ship instead of having to contend with getting
to shore, arranging for care, being driven to San Jose, and coping with
airports and plane travel when they flew home the next day.
Because of this six-hour delay, it was late afternoon when we arrived
at the canal. Since everyone wanted to see the passage through the
locks by daylight, we anchored outside until morning.
The next day we went without incident through the first three locks,
sailed across the lake, and were about to enter the first of the locks
leading down on the Atlantic side. But somehow the experts who came
out to guide our ship goofed; we were pushed into the side of a wall, and
a hole was torn in the side of the ship. The good news: the hole was
above the water line. The bad news: it was only slightly above the water
line, and it wouldn't be safe to travel farther before it was repaired.
In the cabin whose side was bashed out, Lorraine Hewitt of Leisure
World had been lying on the bed against the wall just moments before
the hit. During the impact, fortunately, she was in the shower, and
escaped serious injury.
The ship was held at the lock for several hours, tying up traffic
through the canal (this had never happened before, we were told).
Finally we were allowed to proceed on to Cristobal, six miles farther on.
There we stayed for two or three days while they (noisily, day and
night) repaired the damage. Many people were moved to other cabins,
some because of damage to their cabins, some because of proximity to
the repair work and possible danger, some because the pounding and
welding were making it impossible to sleep.
In the Panama area we were told not to stroll on the streets or go
outside certain designated guarded areas. A few people were careless
about this and were mugged or had their purses snatched. One man
discovered on returning to the ship that his trouser leg had been quietly
slashed, in a hunt for his wallet. Another man was attacked by four
thugs who took his wallet, all his credit cards, etc.
Naturally the repair work set our schedule back further, and the way
to remedy that was of course to skip the remaining ports we were
supposed to visit, such as Aruba, Cartagena and Nassau. We were told
we would proceed directly to Fort Lauderdale, where we were to
disembark, appropriately on Friday the 13th (a day late, necessitating
vast numbers of changes in airline reservations, etc.)
Many people were fed up by now, disheartened by the prospect of
sailing for additional day after day with no stops, and decided to just fly
home from Panama City. Arrangements were made, and they went out
to get in the bus to leave. But much later, to everyone's surprise, they
came back.
What had happened? As their bus was about to start for the airport,
customs officials had told them there'd be an extra ten-dollar charge
per passenger. The passengers conferred, feeling that this was a ripoff,
and that they'd be forced to pay other bribes before they actually got to
the airport--and maybe it wasn't safe anyway, this being the area of
muggings and robbery. So they decided to come back to the ship and
stick it out.
Minor problems included an epidemic of flu, which hit at least half
the passengers, many of whom stayed in bed for a day or two; ice cream
so soft some people drank it with a straw; hot shower water that turned
cold far too soon; toilets that flushed either inadequately or incessantly;
a ceiling that dripped water on diners at a certain table; lots of rubble
and noise due to the repair work; an elevator that got stuck several
times, trapping people inside; rumors that the waiters were about to go
on strike; the tedium of the last few days, sequestered in our floating
hotel, surrounded by boundless bounding main.
The night before the last, there was a passenger talent show, and the
highlight was a parody of "The Twelve Days of Christmas," concocted
by a clever passenger and sung by a small group. A condensed version:
On the first day of cruising my captain gave to me--a cruise I will never
forget. Two faulty engines; three days of heatstroke; four canceled
ports; five strains of flu. The rest of the song included reference to
muggers mugging, welders welding, etc.
But finally it ended, the cruise from hell--to paradise. Paradise being
anywhere OFF the Little Ship of Horrors.
