This is a reely funnie section, however, one ought to proceed with caution. For, this page contains explicit sexual and nasty implications...None of these jokes were written by meeh (I might have only revised them to make them sound better) ... The jokes are eclecticaly compiled, so don't complain to meeh if you are offended by any of this.

If you have any good jokes ...feel free to email meeh!!

Two blondes were flying to LA from Miami. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announce, "One of the engines has ceased to function and the flight will be an hour longer...but don't worry, we have three engines left." Thirty minutes later, the captain announced, "One more engine has ceased...the flight will be two hours longer...but don't worry, we have 2 engines left." An hour later, the captain announced, "One more engine has ceased...the flight will be three hours longer...but don't worry, we have 1 engine left." In a panic state, one blonde looked at the other blonde and nervously said, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here ALL DAY!"

Credit--Goatboy

This is an actual trial in the U.K. A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. A few minutes later, she noticed a young man smiling at her. She began feeling humiliated on account of her condition, so she decided to change her seat. As she sat down, he seemed more amused. She moved again. This time he begins to giggle out loud. Upset, she decides to change seats again. This time he bursted out loud with laughter. She had him arrested.
The case came before a judge in court.
The young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: "When the lady boarded the bus, I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. After boarding she proceeded to a seat under an advertisment that read 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'. This caused me to smile. She then moved under one that read 'Sloaans Liniments remove swelling'. I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read 'William's Stick did the trick'...I finally couldn't hold my laughter any longer when she moved under an advertisment which read 'Dunlop's Rubber would have prevented this accident'"
The case was dismissed.

Credit--Giggles015

Recently, Panasonic wanted to launch a totally new Web Browser - using "Woody Woodpecker" as the "internet guide". Panasonic contemplated a world-wide dispersion of the software. Everything was going as planned. They day before the ads about the browser were due to be released, Panasonic suddenly withdrew the marketing stragety and delayed the product launch indefinately.
The reason:
The ads featured the slogan "Touch Woody - the Internet Pecker". An American staff member at the internal product launch explained to the stunned and embarrassed Japanese what "touch woody" and "pecker" meant in american slang.

Credit--Goatboy

We all know cute little computer symbols called "emotions"- where :) means smile and :( means frown. Well, how would you like to expand your "emotions" list by learning a couple new ones? They're called "asscons"...
Here goes: