How many of us have been floored by this question from curious neighbors and concerned partygoers? The embarrassment can be acute, but fortunately there is no need to ever suffer this situation again. And unlike so many other solutions to our social dilemas, this one costs no money! Presenting the United Cats Kitty Age Calculator!

The standard answer to the question is to multiply the cat's age by seven. While roughly accurate for the middle years this becomes ridiculous at either end of the scale. For example a cat that is 20 years old, not terribly unusual, would thus be 140 years old in people years. Clearly an absurd and not terribly useful comparison when one realizes that 115 or so is the maximum age ever recorded for a human being. And on the same scale a cat just 9 months old can have kittens, at the human equivalent of 5 years of age? No, the multiply by seven rule is clearly of limited value.

Using the chart below we are spared the bleak fate of ignorance. While at first glance this chart appear strange, but it actually works. I.E. the cat's age will translate into a human age of roughly the same maturity as the cat. Try it out and see!

UNITED CATS KITTY AGE CALCULATOR
AGE OF CAT	EQUIVALENT AGE IN HUMAN YEARS	AGE OF CAT	EQUIVALENT AGE IN HUMAN YEARS
1 year	equals 24 years	11 years	equals 66 years
2 years	equals 36 years	12 years	equals 69 years
3 years	equals 42 years	13 years	equals 72 years
4 years	equals 45 years	14 years	equals 75 years
5 years	equals 48 years	15 years	equals 78 years
6 years	equals 51 years	16 years	equals 81 years
7 years	equals 54 years	17 years	equals 84 years
8 years	equals 57 years	18 years	equals 87 years
9 years	equals 60 years	19 years	equals 90 years
10 years	equals 63 years	20 years	equals 93 years
Above 20 years add 2 human years per cat year.

Using this calculation, the 20 year old cat is now a respectable but believable 93 years old. And a 9 month old cat is 18 years old, a teenager in every sense. Remember that humans mature much more slowly than all other animals, so the chart may look counter intuitive, but it has to be this way to make the equivalent ages realistic and meaningful. This chart also works for (cough) dogs. Above 20 years old the reader will have to take the time to do the math themselves. Of course if you have the time to look at a web site about how old your cat is, you certainly have your priorities straight!