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Helloooo laaaaaaaaaaadies. I'm finally done exams for this term, so I can now finally get around to this new edition of Bedtime Stories. I must apologize to my devoted and loving fans for not bringing you a new issue for practically a month now. Things have been hectic, with our recent retirement of Gentleman Jeff (He could handle the fact that I'm better than him), school, and the new addition of a decent internet provider in my household. (So I've been playing a little too much Quake2 online...sorry!) Well, I've got some time off now and I've got some new ideas that actually relate to the Christmas Season. Don't worry, I'll be my cynical self. I guess this issue will be the celebration of Christmas and my site hitting 200 hits. (which should be soon, and can be made sooner if I visit it and keep pressing "relaod" on my web-browser) Ah well. Enjoy kids, and thanks for reading.
I'm sure you've all noticed the new addition to WCE. Both Dirk Hart and Chris Lively. As our youngest member, Chris is also our worst speller. He also talks too much about hunting. I mean, gee, I thought I was chemically imbalanced for joining the Army, but we don't actually shoot stuff. No, I'm not a vegetarian. Frankly, I love beef and pork and chicken and many other meat products and by-products. I still haven't killed any mammals, though. Anyway, enough Chris bashing for now. Now for Dirk Hart. I don't believe Dirk Hart is a new guy. I mean, just look at his bio. Doesn't it look a bit familiar? Almost like, you know, Mr. Desjardins? I bet he's just pulling off some sort of alias thing to be "cool" or whatever. I mean, what kind of jerk has a name of Dirk? *busts a rhyme* (no offence to any Dirk's out there...wait, I DO mean to offend you. You've got a dumb-ass name.) Dirk's column sucks anyway. I mean, I though my column was bad, but his is well, really bad. Worse than mine, and that's pretty tough to do...except for Dirk (Jeff?). It seems to come naturally. Ah well, not MY problem.
Another one of my little topics for today is: Bus people. The Creepiest people alive. I think Brian should have some sort of bus people link on his Halloween site. I've been taking the bus to school for the last few years now, and I must say, I'm quite perturbed. You've got people with REALLY BAD hygiene, then those who wear FAR TOO MUCH perfume (ie: Girl at front, I can smell it at the back) Those that are missing eight teeth and sit down next to you and think that you're their best friend. Then you've got those people who sit at the very back corner and listen to their heavy metal music so loud everyone can hear, and they look so ticked off. (Those corner seats I refer to as: the surly seats, for surly people only) You've also got all those old people who take ten minutes to get off and on the bus. (not that it's a bad thing, it's better than having them driving!) And of course, you've got the omnipresent bus people, who, no matter when or where you go, seem to be on the same bus as you. Those people are often integrated with the "best friends" bus types. Even if you don't encounter "best friends" bus people, you'll definitely have people sit next to you. Sure, they're trying to cram as many people as possible on one bus. I don't want people sitting next to me, though. Especially if there are other free seats in the house. *I* need my personal space. Don't you? I'm sorry, I just have to lash out at bus people because I'm sick of the bus and I'm the proud driver of Carberg, who can spear anyone, anywhere, and any time.
So, on to a seasonal topic. Christmas. It is indeed the season to be jolly. But is anyone? It really doesn't seem like it. People drive worse this time of year. People are more rude this time of year. People are more stressed out. People are more lonely. I don't know what it is, but all the fun and love that used to be associated with this time of year has unfortunately depleted into a heap of annoying unhappiness. Okay, okay, fine. You're allowed to do what you want to do. You're allowed to feel what you want to feel. Fine, fine, fine. That's completely out of my control. One thing though, which really tends to get on my nerves. It's when you start bringing this crap down on everyone else! Who the heck do you think you are? I mean, if someone's having a good Christmas break, and then one of you anti-happy Christmas bums take out your foul mood on someone else, you end up putting them in a lousy mood. This only worsens the problem. Also, if you decide to unleash on another foul mood Christmas bum, they get extra-angry and take their unhappiness to another level and the problem just grows exponentially. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people being rude and unpleasant to me this time of year. (and in general) I'm sick of people who have lost all their Christmas spirit and become a sour-puss about this one day. It's disgusting. No, I don't mind if people don't have Christmas spirit. Frankly, mine's pretty much non-existent, but I'm not a jerk-a$$ to others about it. So, in other words, cheer up! It's Christmas! Go out, have fun! Visit your friends and family. Party hardy. Enjoy the season and try to help others enjoy the season too! It's all about getting that warm fuzzy feeling down in your gut. Go visit Wiggie's Christmas Website and I hope you all become enlightened.
So, I complained a little. I was bitter a little. But I'm going to go now. I'm done exams, I've got friends and family to see. I've got parties to attend. I've got plans to have fun. Why? Because it's Christmas and I'm supposed to do this at least once a year. So all of you be good and have an excellent Christmas. If you have any questions, comments or interesting Christmas stories, you can e-mail me at jingram@is2.dal.ca.
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