Hey, I'm "The Crippler" James Ingram. I'm a fine crippler indeed. My favorite is legs, but that's just me.

So, what should I say about myself? Well, I'm a student at Dalhousie University, taking Chemical Engineering, so if you se a bunch of references to that particular area of study, now you know why. I can usually be found milling about school or work or maybe with some of my friends. I've got a fine beer belly, nicknamed "Big Red" after his father. (Oland's Red, a fine red ale indeed) I'm tall (183 cm) and fairly heavy (93 kg). If you don't know the metric system, you're fired.

By Wiggie's personal request (well, probably just because they couldn't find anyone else) I'm writing the column "Bedtime Stories". How the column got that name, I don't quite remember, but I hope it's suggestive nature will bring many readers to it. If you're reading this bio before you've read the column, ignore that last sentence please and read the column.

What are my joys in life? Well, I don't have any. I'm too bitter. Okay, not really. I am the most bitter writer of this "comedy emporium", so you'll hear a rant or eight. Anyways, what I like to do and whatnot: I like wrestling (I AM the ITS Champion), reading (particularly Vonnegut), SOME TV shows (Simpsons, Law & Order), music (Rollins Band...he's so bitter! Soundgarden, and music of ill like) and shooting stuff. (Oh yeah, I'm in the Reserves) I also play the featured voice on "Two Drunken Sailors Comedy Show". That's a radio show that hasn't been recorded or aired yet, but apparently we're going to get a guaranteed slot on CKDU (97.5 FM) sometime when we improve our production values. (Ask the Gentleman about that, he seems to be the coordinator of all that) By the way, FM means frequency modulated. AM means amplitude modulated. This has something to do with the radio waves in the air, but I'm not going to tell you about that.

Boy, I wish I was the champion of Europe. D-Lo Brown is the champion of Europe. I wish I was. I also want to be as bad as Stone Cold. I don't think I am, though. How unfortunate.

You'll have to excuse that off-topic segment there. I'm really out of ideas of what to say. Oh well, that's your problem, not mine. If you've got any questions or hate mail, you can reach me at jingram@is2.dal.ca.