Wiggie's Corner

Hey, studying for Finance bores me, so to relieve the everyday stress and draining of will to live that comes with the responsibility of being a sandwhich artist, I thought I'd relax by writing a Wiggie's Corner. You know, it isn't really working, still got that sick feeling in my stomach, and dull feeling of dread at all times...oh well, I started the chain reaction, might as well finish it.

If watching Spiderman all these long afternoons has taught me anything, it's that you can't talk your way out of a fight with a super villian...or a robot. So I'll have to keep that in mind from now on, just incase my worst enemy becomes bonded to some alien goo...then chases me around in a truck honking at me...man, I've got to stop just commenting on what's on my TV right now...but it's so hard not to fall back on that. So on that note, I've been wondering, getting back to the toilet paper commercial train of thought, would commercials be more successful if they were just blunt and told what the products do? Is it really neccessary to dance around the subjects, and try to make up false feeling "real life situations" in which people supposedly can identify with? Sure I know one or two people when asked what they'd like to drink would yell "Sunny D!", but how often does that happen? So here's some commercial scripts that are a bit more to the point of the product:

Okay, even I got the shivers just writing that...

Diapers
"Do you want your kids smelling like crap and pee? Want them doing it on the floor? Then buy our diapers, it holds all kinds of crap."

Candy:
"So what if it's not good for you, it taste great! You don't want to eat stuff that tastes like crap do you?"

Sneakers:
"Maybe they're vastly overpriced...but if you don't wear them, your friends won't think you're cool."

MacDonalds:
"Crappy food that's fast...how long do you want to wait for your meal?"

So those weren't funny or anything, nor were they thought provoking...but they fillled space didn't they? Well, I'll be on my way now, but I'll leave you with one last Halifax Regional Municipality centric joke before I leave...another episode of THE BRIDGE POLICE...the bridge police they live inside their beds...the bridge police they sleep inside their...whatever...