Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them is all directions.
Geneva: The parade will take place in the morning if it rains in the afternoon.
Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to
the guard on duty.
German hospital: No children allowed in the maternity wards.
Sign in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site,
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they
are married with each other for that purpose.
Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee
no miscarriages.
Ad for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Roman doctor's office: Specialist in women and other diseases.
Tokyo car rental agency brochure: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Bombay bread baker: We are number one loafers.
Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
Bangkok temple: It's forbidden to enter a women even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Moscow hotel room door: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you're welcome to it.
Japanese hotel air conditioner booklet: Cooles and Heates: If you just want condition of
warm in your room, please control yourself.
Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous efficient self-service.
Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then
going alphabetically by national order.
From a Russian weekly: There will be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet
republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
Tokyo hotel: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels. If you are not a person to do such a
thing, please not read this notice.
Leipzig, Germany, elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk. If you lose them in
your room, we are not responsible.
Athens hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and
11 a.m. daily.
Yugoslavian hotel: The flatening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the women who are employed to
clean the rooms.
Moscow Hotel You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Bangkok dry cleaners Please drop your trousers here for best results.
Paris dress shop: Elegant dresses designed for street walking.
Rhodes, Greece, tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because of the big rush, we will
execute customers in strict rotation.
Rome laundry: Ladies, please leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time.
Norewgian lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
Acapulco hotel: We are pleased to announce that the manager has personally passed all
the water served here.
Swiss mountain inn: Special today - no ice cream.