ALLERGIC REACTION TO YOU Well I told you to go away but you just had to disobey. Yeah, you still follow me around. I wish I was living underground. Allergic reaction to you. Buzz off, you’re giving me the creeps. You planted a microphone in my seat. You know I’m gonna call the cops if you don’t give it up, so just stop. Allergic reaction to you. And every time I notice you behind me on the ped-way, I pick up speed, leave a few kids in between and make my getaway. Get lost, you gotta understand I don’t wanna be your man. My patience is exhausted. I’ve drawn the line and you’ve crossed it. Allergic reaction to you.
ANOTHER SUMMER DAY Well it’s another summer day and everyone is feeling great, we’re drinking slushes on the lawn. There’s burgers frying on the ‘cue and I’m so in love with you, and we’re singing summer songs. I wanna see you, I wanna be you, I wanna spend forever living life this way. I wanna know you, I wanna show you, I wanna be with you on another summer day. Well laugh a lot and don’t think twice, it’s a suburban paradise. And it makes me wanna say that the world’s a perfect place, and the smile on my face is all I need to live today. I wanna see you, I wanna be you, I wanna spend forever living life this way. I wanna know you, I wanna show you, I wanna be with you on another summer day.
BIKINI BEACH I do beseech you to go to Bikini Beach, where the girls are all hopped up and ready to go. ‘Cause it’s the place to be unless you’re some kinda freak who doesn’t like hanging out with half-naked bimbos. We’re gonna go, gonna go to Bikini Beach and ride the waves. There’s lots of surf and sand, gorgeus girls with golden tans, and a ghetto blaster playing the Ramones. It’s thirty-six degrees, there’s a warm tropical breeze and a total absence of morons, geeks and choads. We’re gonna go, gonna go to Bikini Beach and ride the waves. Gonna go to Bikini Beach and ride the waves.
DIAL NINE Dial nine to blow my mind and never let it heal back up again. Dial nine to blow my mind, ‘cause I don’t wanna be just a friend. Dial four to hear some more of this kind of propositioning. I’ll be the john, yeah, you be the whore, you know that we can rehearse the whole thing. A lot of fun, a band called Young Offenders, yeah, we’ll take on the whole world. But only, only if, only if you agree to be my girl.
DICKS WITH CHICKS Well all the jocks, they’re gonna get the girls. You know it sucks, they’re gonna get the girls. They’re gonna rule this world and get the girls alright. And all the jerks, they’re gonna get the girls. It always works, they’re gonna get the girls. They’re gonna swirl and swerve and get the girls all night. Dicks with chicks. It never fails, they’re gonna get the girls. The macho males, they’re gonna get the girls. They’re gonna drive around and get the girls, I say. And all the pricks, they’re gonna get the girls. They get the chicks, they’re gonna get the girls. Gonna drink all night and get the girls all day. Dicks with chicks. Scum who think that they’re better than the rest ‘cause they’re loaded, and wear the very best brand name garbage made in sweat shops in Bangladesh. Dicks with chicks.
GIRLS LIKE YOU Checking you out at the mall the other day, I was so happy when you looked my way. I thought that we might get together. I can’t believe you were checking out my sister. Why do things always turn out like this? You know, I’m starting to get pissed. I’m gonna need a therapist, oh yeah. Girls like you don’t come along every day. Why oh why did you have to be gay? At least you’re not going out with other guys, though maybe, after all, you’ll turn out to be a bi! Why do things always turn out like this? You know, I’m starting to get pissed. I’m gonna need a therapist, oh yeah.
LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO FLAT He was a computer geek, she was a beautiful girl. You know he thought that she was sweet, but he was locked out of her world . Love makes the world go flat. You know what really blows my mind? That after failing every time, he tried to win her love again, but she ignored him until the end. Love makes the world go flat. Well he tried to suppress it, but he had to address it, this urge to be with her for all eternity. He brought a gun to school, said this time he was making the rules. Well he took her life, and then he blew himself away. Love makes the world go flat.
MODERN ANTHEM This song is a modern anthem written for the ones who are tangled up in money-driven mania. Consumerist directives get transmitted through TV’s and every day more fall prey to mass media. So take a good look around, keep your feet on the ground, live your life day by day, things will turn out okay. Fight the urge to be cool, never play by the rules, if we don’t play the game we’ll prevail one day. This is a concerted effort made by me to say that the way we live our lives has sooner or later got to change. This plutocracy is supported by the millions unaware that their habits and their actions dig us deeper every day. So take a good look around, keep your feet on the ground, live your life day by day, things will turn out okay. Fight the urge to be cool, never play by the rules, if we don’t play the game we’ll prevail one day. We’ll prevail and bring the establishment down. We’ll bring justice and peace to our cities and towns. We’ll grab hold of this evil and tear it apart, then we’ll make a new start. So take a good look around, keep your feet on the ground, live your life day by day, things will turn out okay. Fight the urge to be cool, never play by the rules, if we don’t play the game we'll prevail one day.
PARTY AT THE BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL Lee said “There’s a party tonight, gonna be a lot of girls invited.” He asked me if I wanted to go, I said I’d be delighted. When I got there, he said “Get a load of this! Man, I think I found the perfect girl for you. She’s an NDP, as gorgeous as you’ll ever see. And she went crazy when I showed her a picture of you.” I sat down in the living room, next to Gordie, Dick and Drew. Verge was there with Dakota and Aldred. Grace, Laura and Meredith too. Then the chick came in and sat right in my lap. Man, I love those girls who make the first attack. She had long brown hair along with clean white underwear, and I was awful glad I’d come down to the party at the blue light special, man. The girl was drinking R&R. I had a drink, then a cigar. I thought the taste might turn her off but she kept coming back for more. Her lips were full and red, we shared a perfect kiss. Yeah, she told me she was really enjoying this. Then I noticed Lee, that bastard smiled and winked at me, I didn’t notice. I was too wrapped up in the party at the the blue light special, man. She said that she had to pee, so I turned and talked to Lee. He laughed and said she was thirteen, you should have seen my face turn green. I should have smacked him in the head, I finished off my quart instead. I was wishing I was dead. Ian was smoking, Adam was toking, I was pissed and I’m not joking. Ross was boozing, Ryan was snoozing, I was losing face. Mandy and Jared enjoyed it. Satan drank out of the toilet. Alain Doucet was not drunk yet, but Dennis was on his way. The girl left at ten to twelve. I saw her off and I wished her well. When I came in, I was moved to say, “Why do things always end this way?” Randy said I couldn’t help that she was jail-bait. Amy said it was a cruel twist of fate. Lee said, “At any rate, at least you got to suck her face.” We all cracked up and we laughed at this crazy party at the blue light special, man.
SINGULAR You look around, you don’t like what you see. You feel strange and you long to be free from this in-bred, backwater town that holds you down. Well I know you’ve almost given up hope and hung yourself from a rope, but I want you to wipe off that frown and stay around. ‘Cause some days you just know that things ain’t gonna go the way you wanted when you started out, but the moment you see you might not have the key, don’t give up, ‘cause you know what it’s all about. Well I see signs of hope in your eyes. You’ll destroy the monsters you despise. You’ll keep fighting and you won’t give in. You’re gonna win. ‘Cause some days you just know that things ain’t gonna go the way you wanted when you started out, but the moment you see you might not have the key, don’t give up, ‘cause you know what it’s all about. You’re singular.
SUNTAN GIRL Suntan girl in your suntan world, you don’t know that I’m alive. Suntan babe, I’d be your slave, if I could only catch your eye. Flash me a smile, we’ll talk for awhile, and maybe down a few Mooseheads. When you go home, we’ll talk on the telephone, and suntan girl, let’s be friends. The water’s warm, I’ve been informed you and your boyfriend just broke up. I know you’re sad, but still I’m glad. It means I might just be in luck. Flash me a smile, we’ll talk for awhile, and maybe down a few Mooseheads. When you go home, we’ll talk on the telephone, and suntan girl, let’s be friends. Is it so hard for you to just turn your head and notice me there with a look in my eye that says “I love you and I won’t go away until you tell me buzz off or you tell me you’re mine?” Suntan girl in your suntan world, you don’t know that I’m alive. Suntan babe, I’d be your slave, if I could only catch your eye. Flash me a smile, we’ll talk for awhile, and maybe down a few Mooseheads. When you go home, we’ll talk on the telephone, and suntan girl, let’s be friends.
WAKE UP Well are you gonna waste your life by trying to escape into a world that sticks to you like glue? And are you gonna waste my time by making me explain that certain things just ain’t that good for you? Just wake up, there’s so much for you to see, so wake up, there’s so much out there to do, so wake up, wake right up and take back your mind. Well they found you in a bin with a needle in your arm and rushed you to ER barely alive. And did you learn from that ordeal? Well you might think so, but the next day you were back on Kingswood Drive. Just wake up, there’s so much for you to see, so wake up, there’s so much out there to do, so wake up, wake right up and take back your mind. When all that you care about is how you’ll score your next hit, well Johnny boy that ain’t no kind of life. When all that you wanna do is sit back and shoot the shit, well Johnny boy that ain’t no kind of life. When all your friends leave you cold tired bored and alone, well Johnny boy that ain’t no kind of life. So try to turn it around and get your feet on the ground. Just wake up, there’s so much for you to see, so wake up, there’s so much out there to do, so wake up, wake right up and take back your mind.
