DJ Rappy: Rapping, killing, chicken, crack, raping.
Batz: Masticate, masturbate, eliminate
4.5.1998 Afternoon-to the next day, 4.6.1998
DJ Rappy's Story Of Dye Noir Die
Dylan started the band, Zombie's Tea Party....he brought Chris Blair in and then Chris asked if I'd like to be in the band also. Seconds after joining, I kicked Dylan out. Or at least came up with the idea that we use him for his keyboard and then kick his ass out. Either way, we(Chris and I) continued on with our band, then tried to join a high school talent show. We were accepted and I showed up for rehearsal but didn't know I was supposed to be there for rehearsal and ended up leaving which resulted in us getting booted from the talent show.
One dark and possibly stormy night, while online and instant messaging Chris Blair, an episode of Tales From The Crypt came on and it was a really neat cartoon theme involving the three little pigs and scary blood stuff. There was this scary zombie pig thing on the screen and I heard them refer to it as the Zombie Pig Monster. Enthusiastically, I said that Zombie Pig Monster was a good name and that I want to use it. We did and he made his own web sight eventually. By now we had sent out mailing lists to people who didn't want to recieve them and had no fans except for the occasional "cool lyrics"....which actually only happened once.
Soon, Chris Blair(or Bob Dole II as he was now known) broke away from Zombie Pig Monster and joined the pitiful Zombie's Tea Party which Dylan was, and is, still trying to keep alive. Bob Dole II sent out a mass newsletter making a fool out of me and calling Zombie Pig Monster a joke. So, by now, the band was DJ Rappy, Dead Gurl, and No Name.
Zombie Pig Monster was silent for several months, struggling to put out a newsletter which was never released and was even more frustrating because of a groupie who expected me to be finished within ten minutes when it took somethymes days to finish. She kept saying "Are you done yet?" "Finish it soon" and other statements which probably held back the release of the newsletter and kept it from flowering and becoming the statement I wanted it to be. On top of that, I wasn't sure if Bob Dole II was in the band, in the other band, or dead.
Eventually, he "left" the other band and rejoined Zombie Pig Monster. This was when the web sight was made and what a disaster that was. He made it once and never updated it. It included some "in jokes" which could not reach most anyone because they don't know the people the jokes were based on.
We continued on, however, kicking out the other two members and then changing the name. I had become fed up with his laziness and decided to make my own ZPM web sight, one that had lyrics, information, etc. The name change happened while I was at a mall, talking to BD11 on a pay phone in front of a tee shirt store. I was talking about copyright laws and how Tales From The Crypt could sue us for using their name. I looked at a sign that said something to the effect of, "WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WHO FLIES THE COOP?"(It was talking about impregnating someone then leaving them) and there was a big picture of a chicken wearing sneakers(how sick is that?!?!). I suggested Zombie Pig Chicken. He suggested Zombie Pig Retard. Thus, the name became Zombie Pig Retard....but something still wasn't right.
BD11's America Online Profile still said Zombie's Tea Party and he was rarely writing anything for ZPR. He never took anything seriously, instead he constantly wrote songs about inside jokes and wanted to use a kazoo. His web sight alterations were shit(he tried to make his different because mine was better and he wanted his to be better) and he was still secretly a part of Dylan's piece of shit. The problem was Chris and I was sick of the problem. One nyght, I spoke for several hours(from night to close to 7:00am) to Margarette, the very same groupie I was becoming excessively bothered with months before. Her and I talked about how Chris just didn't get it. I had aqquired some fans by now and people LIKED my lyrics. The lyrics I was writing....and that "Bob Dole II" laughed about. I was fed up, sick of his delays, his inability to actually sell the product I wanted to put out, his ability to fuck up all the progress I had made with my "joke".
So, early that morning of 3.24.1009, I mean 1998, I asked Margarette if she would like to replace the worst musician ever. She was ecstatic....she had the same ideas for the band that I did. When Chris was told that ZPR might be doing show with SpitKiss, he hardly even reacted. But Margarette was enthusiastic and wanted to piss people off. First thing was the band needed a name, we started out with shit like, Zombie Pig Blood, stuff involving the word "Nigger", including Die Nigger Die, then we tried a combination of as many racial slurs as we could find where we got words that sounded like chigger, and agoogle, etc. We thought of The Sisters Of Whores, names like that, Dickblade Symphony, Pig Blood(which was before we decided to find a name completely separated from the Pig and Zombie stream), Noir.. .. eventually, I was flipping out, I was tired, exhausted and wanted some rest. She had been suggesting for a while Dye Noir Die. "FINE! I don't care! It's a fuckin good name now let me get some fuckin sleep!" She was saying how I couldn't just choose this loosely but I was all, fine fuck this I'm tired. Fuck off. It's a good name, okay? And I went to sleep.
Chris Blair got an e-mail that day with "Sorry" as the subject and "You're out of Zombie Pig Retard" in the message. Later that day, Margarette became known as Batz and two updates were added to the info page:
3.24.1998: After noon
Bob Dole II has left ZPR to go kill himself. We now have a new as of yet unnamed member. But we do know that she's a former groupie with large breasts and she's a dyke. Which is good!
Part two:
The new bandmember is Batz.
END of this particular sextion
-DJ Rapist