It’s that time of year again in O-town. People are dressing up and going from house to house in search if candy. How does the fab five spend their night of fright?
Chris: Oh goody, it’s Halloween, my favorite time of year!
Joey: Yeah we get free food and junk
Justin: What you gon be fo Halloween homie?
Joey: Superman
Chris: Dude, I didn’t realize we had to dress up
Justin: Well ah gon be straight up from the ghetto foo! We be cruisin the streets in my Benz . . . if my mommy will let me
JC: Well you guys go on ahead and go trick-or-treating. I’m gonna go get some shut-eye.
Lance: I was going to go as Marilyn Monroe, but think I’m going to stay in too. I need to redo my nails anyway
Chris: Aw dude, you’re no fun
JC: Well we’ll just see about that when you look all baggy eyed in Seventeen magazine
Lance: I’ve got a concealer that can fix that, you know
Chris: Dude, well you guys can stay in for the night. We’re going trick or treating
JC: Just be sure you’re home by nine. I’m not going to stay up late waiting for you anyway
Joey: *Coming out in his corny Superman costume* How do I look?
*Everyone bursts out laughing*
Joey: *confused* What?
*Justin goes into his room and comes out a minute later dressed in Tommy Hilfiger stuff, including a beanie, wallet chain, and big puffy jacket.*
Chris: Hey Justin, where’s your costume?
Justin: Yo foo, this IS mah costume!
JC: You dress like that every night
Justin: So?
Chris: Well, we’re going now. See ya later
JC: Y’all be back by nine and not a minute later, you hear?
Lance: Oh, and do be careful!
A few hours later, they’re walking down the street almost finished trick or treating
Chris: Dude, Joey, what happened to all our candy?
Joey: Hmph?
Justin: Aw damn you ate all our candy, foo!
Chris: Dude, this sucks
Joey: We can always go to more houses
*Suddenly they hear a rustle in the bushes*
Justin: You, what was that homie?
*They hear the rustle again*
Justin: *Runs and hides behind Joey* I want mah mommy!
Chris: *Smacks Justin in the head* Dumbass. It was probably the wind dude
Joey: I’m hungry
Chris: Dude, I guess we’ll have to go home now
Joey: *Checks his Superman watch* It’s not even eight o’clock yet
Chris: I could’ve sworn we’ve been here longer
Justin: *Crying uncontrollably* I can’t stand dis y’all! I want my momma!
*The bushes rustle once more, and out of the foliage pops out . . . The scariest monster ever viewed by human eyes!*
*Justin screams with horror*
Chris: hey Howie. Long time no see.
Howie: *wink, drooool* Hey Chris
*Suddenly Nick Carter pops out of the bushes too*
Joey: Hey babe
Chris: *Looks from Nick to Howie to Nick again.* What were you guys doing in the bushes together?
Nick and Howie:……
Meanwhile, back at the house . . .
JC: Oh god Lance! Where are they? I’ve been worried sick! When they come home, I’m giving them a good spanking!
Lance: Shh. It’s okay JC. I’m sure they’ll be back soon. Would you like me to give you a massage in the meantime?
JC: *stares at Lance like he’s a weirdo* Hell NO!
Lance: Well, JC, they haven’t been out that late, you know
JC: Oh no? It’s 9:03! ! ! Of all the irresponsible . . . We have a photo shoot tomorrow!
*His race turns beet red and steam comes out of his ears*
Lance: *sniff* Don’t yell at me!
JC: *rolls his eyes* Just wait till they get home.
Back on the streets . . .
Chris: So Nick, Howie, lemme get this straight. You guys are gay lovers?
Nick: *looks down at the ground* umm, no
Joey: It’s not as if they don’t already know
Howie: *wink* WHAT?! *drool*
Justin: They don’t call you Sweet D fo nothin foo!
Howie: *wink, drool* Oh no! My career is ruined!
Chris: So where are the rest of the guys anyway?
Nick: They’re out somewhere. We snuck away from them. By the way, where is that hottie Lance?
Justin: The Big Daddy and Lance be loungin at da crib, yo
Howie: *wink, drool* . . .?
Chris: Dude, he means JC and Lance are at home
Joey: I’m hungry
Nick: So am I
Chris and Howie: You’re always hungry!
Justin: Let’s bounce back to da crib yo!
Everyone: . . ..
*Suddenly, the BSB appear out of nowhere*
Joey: Whoa you guys appeared out of nowhere!
Me: No shit, I just said that you idiot
Joey: Oh yeah
AJ: The gay faggots here?
Nick: Hmm?
Kevin: Where the hell were you?
Joey: They were in the bushes over there
Brian: Dammit you fucking faggots had better stop all that shit!
Howie: *wink, drool* Sorry B-rok
Meanwhile, back at the house
JC: *pacing around* Look at the time, it’s 9:10! I’m gonna have their heads for this!
Lance: Calm down JC. You’re upsetting me
JC: Sorry Lance, but like I said we have a photo shoot tomorrow
Lance: What time is that?
JC: 5:30.
Lance: In the morning?!
JC: Of course not. We need eight hours to get ready
Lance: Isn’t that a little too much?
JC: *growls* It needs to be PERFECT! Perfect, you hear?
Lance: *cringes* Well you don’t have to take it out on me. *Lance starts to cry and mascara runs down his face*
JC: *rolls his eyes* This is going to be a long night
Back on the street . . .
Joey: I’m still hungry
Chris: Dude, you’re always hungry
Nick: I’m hungry too
Kevin: You eat too much, you fat albino
Howie: Don’t call my Nicky fat!
Suddenly there is another rustle in the bushes
Chris: Dude what is it now?
*This time, instead of a pop teen idol singing group, out of the bushes comes a monster! (No, a less ugly one this time)*
Everyone: Aaaaaaaaagh!
Teenybopper: Oh, my god, it’s the BSB and Joey, Chris and Justin from N SYNC!
Everyone turns to run, with the Teenybopper following close behind. Unfortunately, she is one of the heavier types, and she quickly loses sight of them
Teenybopper: Wait! *gasp* I gasp* just want your autograph! *gasp*
Justin: Yo, that was close homies
Nick: *can’t speak because the strain of running two blocks has taken a toll on his lack of athletic ability*
Joey: DAMMIT I’M STILL HUNGRY! ! !
AJ: Shit, I need a smoke
Kevin: OH MY GOD HERE COME MORE TEENYBOPPERS!
Brian: Howie, quick, you run out there and wink at them while we run away
Howie: *wink, droooool* Why me?
All of BSB: Because you’re the gay ugly one {~Thanx Here We Go for the Inspiration!~}
Howie runs out to the crowd of teenyboppers and starts to wink at them. The teenyboppers squeal and are hypnotized by his frequent eye spasm
AJ: Okay, let’s run before Howie catches up with us
Nick: Noooo! Howie!
Kevin, Brian, AJ, Justin, Chris, and Joey look at each other and nod.
Justin: *Throws Nick into the crowd of squealing teenyboppers*
Nick: Aaaaaagh!
*Sounds of clothes ripping and screams erupt the air as the teenyboppers realize how ugly Nick looks without clothes on*
Everyone else runs and hops into Justin’s Benz
Brian: HURRY before they catch up to us!
The teenyboppers have now entirely lost all their interest in Nick and Howie and are running after the car screaming, “Justin, Justin!”
Justin: Don’t even think about it, foo! This be MY Benz we drivin in and ain’t nobody be throwin me outta my own car!
Joey: I’m still hungry
Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP OR ELSE YOU’RE NEXT! ! !
*Joey shuts up*
*The Benz makes its way into the O-town ghetto and the guys realize that this may not be the best idea*
Justin: Yo we be up in the ghetTO homie
AJ: I need some crack or I’m gonna die
Joey: Yeah I need a snack too
Everyone: …..
*The car slows down and the guys hear a noise at the side of the door*
Kevin: Oh god more teenyboppers!
*The door opens to reveal Howie with a limp Nick in his arms*
Brian: DAMMIT
Howie: *wink, drool* What?
Meanwhile, at the house . . .
*JC is in the recliner chair sleeping*
*Lance is sitting beside the fireplace painting his toenails and glancing nervously at the clock, which now reads 11:25*
Boring huh? Well, anyhoo . . .
AJ: I thought we lost them
Howie: *wink* nope. We found you! *Drool*
*They’re all squashed in the car when they hear another noise at the car door*
Justin: what the hell is it this time?
Chris: Dude, look what you did Justin! Your ghetto wannabe ass got us in trouble again!
*Everyone looks out the window to see a gang heading towards the car, ready to jump them*
Suddenly there is the horrible sound of glass cracking and the gang breaks the window and reaches inside.
Justin: Oh my Benz! My mommy’s gonna kill me!
Kevin: Let’s get outta here!
*They all rush out of the car*
The gang continues to break into their car
Justin: *crying hysterically* My Benz, my beautiful Benz!
*Suddenly a gang member pulls out his gun, aims it, and shoots Howie dead.*
Everyone watches as Howie falls to the ground
Chris: Dude, and he owed my twenty bucks, too.
Brian: So what do we do now?
Nick *looks at Howie for a moment, then back at Chris* Hey, is Lance still single?
Chris: Yeah dude
Joey: I’m HUNGRY!
*Joey eats all the gang members whole*
Joey: burrrrp!
Justin: *Still crying hysterically* My mommy’s going to be so mad when she finds out about my Benz! *Sniffs*
Chris: Dude, well there’s nothing left to do but go home
Everyone agrees to go home to N SYNC’s place and crash there for a while
Back at the house . . .
Lance: Oh my, what is that noise?
JC: Lance, shut up. I’m trying to sleep
Lance: But I heard a noise outside
The door opens and Joey, Chris, Justin, Kevin, Brian, AJ, and Nick walk in
JC: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU GUYS?! WE HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT TOMORROW, DIDN”T I TELL YOU THAT?!?!?!
Justin: *sniffs* Well, Joey told us the time
Joey: Yeah, it’s only 8:55
JC: Joey, you dumbass, it’s 11:40!
Joey: Oh
Lance: *Spies Nick in the doorway* Nicky, is that you?
Nick: Hey baby
AJ: Well, I got to be goin now. My GIRLFRIEND *he smirks at JC* is waiting for me at home
JC: *tackles AJ* Why you asshole . . .
To be continued (we promise!)