Hey it's Daisy X here. What's up? Like I've told ya before, I bought a teenybopper magazine (Don't start rubbing it in, I feel stupid enough as it is already). It's got some really good pics, interviews, it's nauseatingly pink, and it's got . . . FAN CONRTIBUTIONS for the Backstreet Boys! Now I'm warning you, if you are the type of person who actually dreams about 'N SYNC (snicker snicker), you might want to leave this page right now. This section is dedicated to the incredibly idiotic and dillusioal fans of the BSB.
Anyway, I was flipping through the pages of this magazine (In a place where I couldn't be seen)and I came across the most ludicrous, the most hysterical articles ever printed before in a magazine. The whole idea was to have fans tell their favorite Fagstreet Boy, their fave qualities of the guys, and their dreams about the guys. Ridiculous, huh? Well I decided that this couldn't be kept a secret for long, so I just had to let you in on the mushy details!
"I totally love the Backstreet Boys because . . .
. . . Nick is a cutie (Umm, no comment)
. . . AJ is cool (For a guy who looks like he's on crack)
. . . Howie is sweet =) (Sweet, my ass)
. . . Brian has the greatest voice (Of that I agree)
. . . Kevin has the nicest eyes (Oh yes, never mind the fact that he never sings at all, he's got really pretty eyes!)
During the summer, I went to their concert, and it was the BOMB! (And you stress that so eloquently) It totally blew my mind! (Totally blew. 'Nuff said) I also kept the ticket to the concert and it's framed right above my bed!" (Oh the few, the proud, the pathetic)
Nick: EVERYTHING (Oh yes from the tippy top of his wittle blonde head to the vewy bottom of his wittle toesies!)
Brian: The soft and funny personality (Um, okay)
Kevin: Aaah- those eyes and the laid-backness (No kidding, laid-backness was actually what was printed in there)
AJ: He's a real individual (Colors of the head surely change other people's viewpoint dontcha think?)
Howie: Too quiet"
A. They are just so cute (Again with the cute)
B. They have outstanding voices (I just love the whining Nick Carter does)
C. Their clothing style (Yes matching makes the man)
D. Of their personality traits (Hmmm. Let's see. 2 Gay, one on crack, one who can't open his mouth to sing, and another one who I just can't think of anything to say about. Sounds dreamy.)
E. They don't do drugs (AJ smokes pot and he does crack before every show)
F. They don't drink alcohol openly (See the word openly? I'm sensing some mistrust here)
G. They are ambassadors for Students Against Drunk Driving
H. Their videos rule (Right. So if 'N SYNC wants one of their videos to "rule", they should shave and wet their chests, dance in monster costumes, and have their own little rooms to sing in. Thanks for clearing that up for me.)
I. Their songs don't have to do with sex (Excuse me, but what the hell does "If You Want it to Be Good Girl (Get Yourself a Bad Boy)*the inspiration for our name* mean? Come on! Next thing, you'll be tellin me "Giddy Up" is all about Toby, Lance's horse.)
J. Their upbeat songs are so danceable (And this is so laughable)
K. They do a lot of things for charity
L. They are from my favorite state, Florida
M. They are very family-oriented (i.e. Aaron Carter)
N. They have girls of all nationalities in their videos (They searched far and wide for the *ahem* "lucky* 5 girls who were willing to dance with the Fagstreet boys)
O. They seem cordial to their fans (Again, READ THE SPIN ARTICLE FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD! ! ! )
P. They try to please everyone in their interviews (Carson especially)
Q. They aren't letting fame go to their heads (SPIN ARTICLE . . . SPIN ARTICLE . . . READ THE DAMN THING!)
R. They can dance (And it takes special talent to be able to balance a hat on your arm as well)
S. They seem to care about their religions
T. They are enviromentally friendly (Yet they still allow Howie to step out into the breathing atmosphere and pollute the air with his mere presence)
U. They are each individuals and unique (Ain't it grand?)
V. They are honest ("We don't have girlfriends". Ring a bell? ? ?)
W. They have good senses of humor (Evidently, their fans, however, do not. i.e. HUMOR PAGE HATE MAIL)
X. None of them have children (That they know of)
Y. They don't have to have parental supervision notes on their CDs (Well, gee, name any boybands that do)
Z. Their songs come from the heart ("If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy" *Wipes a tear out of my eye* Wow. I'm just so touched.)