Top Ten . . . Yeah you've seen them on just about every other site so we decided, why the hell not? Here ya go . . .
Why Lance is Dating Topanga
- To defy Johnny Wright
- He's from Mississippi
- He's been real lonely ever since Toby died
- So that Joey will lay off him
- To play down the fact that he is really a girl in disguise
- She paid him
- He really needed the styling tips
- His favorite Looney Toon is Taz and she sorta reminds him of it
- Cuz Justin wanted her too and now Lance is using Danielle as a sort of a "compromise" . . . The girl for more singing parts and hip thrusts
- She's teaching him how to "dance" he he
Why JC is so Pissy
- He can't get some
- Joey keeps him awake during the night with his whores
- He didn't get his usual 20 hours of sleep
- No one really likes his lil' jazz versions
- Justin is the popular one, not him
- His hair gel somehow seeped into his skin, causing some internal damage and taking over his brain
- It's that time of the month
- Lance keeps taking his hair gel and bugging him about manicures
- Lance doesn't dance perfectly
- Nikki. 'Nuff said
Why Kevin Can't Sing
- He's 26 and therefore too old to be singing, yet too hot to be thrown out
- Brian won't let him. They may be cousins, but hey, showbiz can be tough
- He's only there to take off his shirt, put it back on again, and look seky
- AJ stuffed his pot stash in Kevin's bag and somehow Johnny found it and wouldn't let Kevin sing
- He doesn't have extremely big nostrils, pubic hair on his head, a crack-pot appearance, nor does he have blonde hair and is a faggot. All in all, he's too normal and hot to be singing
- Nicky threatened to give him a blow job
- He's got the dirty job: Keeping Nick and Howie away from each other
- He's from Kentucky (Hey the Mississippi thing works for Lance, why not try out the southern thing with Kevin?)
- He's afraid that if he does, Howie will come and wink at him
- Nick the Dick stole all his parts
Top Ten Things You'll See at an 'N SYNC Concert *Taken from real-life experiences*
- JC's ultra-stupid golf hat
- 'N SYNC T-Shirts and other rip-off expensive crap
- There will always be a group of valley girls there, weaing slutty T-shirts and holding up signs sayin, "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on 'N SYNC" and thinking they're all original
- Hip thrusts galore
- Beanie Babies for Lance, even though you know he already has them all and gives the rest to charity
- Teddy bears for the guys. Doesn't matter that they ditched toys when they were 8. Just the thought of JC's gelly-head resting on it in a mere 4 hours is enough for you to go out and buy a big fuzzy attached with your name, address, telephone number . . .That's why I went out and bought one for the Dallas, TX show ;)
- A plethora of FUBU jerseys and North Carolina Gear. Gee. Wonder who THEIR favorite guy is, huh?
- Scores and scores of frustrated parents
- Stupid idiots who paint the guys' names on their faces. I can't even begin to tell you how much this pisses me off. "Oh gee, do ya think Justin will be able to see that I can spell his own name from section 231?!" First off, they guys know their own names for cryin' out loud. Second of all, they're not liable to fall for a girl who plays with magic markers.
- Baby blue, baby blue, and more friggin' baby blue
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